|Kethan, of Drow Public Relation|
It has come to my attention there is a dislike of drow and our esteemed drow noble overlords. Perhaps people are not looking at the issue in the right shadow? Maybe it is not the drow’s fault for not being sniveling cowards who abandon this world every time an asteroid drops from the sky? It is no wonder that what is commonly called an elf is a pathetic inbred creature that tries to ride the coattails of the real “elves” id est the drow. Years of elf gate travel from the aforementioned cowardice have left the surface elves laughable sterile. Just standing here I have given birth three times and the eldest has already tried to assassinate for my position.
Back on topic though, trying to contrast such a majestic race like the drow against the weak and pathetic elves is an insult to drow-kind. It is like comparing a human to a halfling. There is almost 64% less surface area to whip and beat on a halfling that makes them a much more inferior stock of slav—servant than the sturdy human. The reason that drow do appear to be a more attractive race for adventuring is because we are. Drow are better than you in every conceivable way you mud apes.
Anyway if you live in a remote or isolated community please leave your doors unlocked, your possessions gathered in a central location, and a drink a warm glass of milk tonight! You never know when one of our drow prize parties may show up in your village to whisk you away to your new home full of adventure!