Not long after the 'Late Unpleasantness' Shalelu Andosana was proceeding on one of her comparatively routine 'recreational sweep & clear' patrols when she managed to surprise an entire goblin tribe. The Gullchuckers. You haven't heard of them? That's because she managed to wipe them out in one night, idiot! Anyway, she doesn't talk much about it as she considers it a bit embarrassing, she was able to sneak up on the tribe because they were so busy preparing to sacrifice one of their own (probably to Lamashtu, but it's not as if she felt it necessary to ask)! The task completed, Shalelu was left with the unenviable decision of what to do with the sole survivor, the sacrifice. I mean seriously, it was a Goblin! This should have been simple, kill it, move on. Unfortunately Shalelu had this problem with the idea of murdering a bound, unarmed, defenseless (did I mention bound?) creature...
Do I have to draw you a picture? Spell it out for you? That Goblin was me you idiot! The name's Irnk & that pointy-eared homicidal nut-job just stood there, watching me, with a bloody gleam in her eye & a gore soaked blade in her hand long enough for the sun to pass from behind her left ear to behind her right before she just slit my bonds & WALKED AWAY! Yes, Ma & the others were going to gut me from crotch to throat, yank out my innards & see if they could force me to take a bite before I died, but that's different, they're family. We're goblins fer Deadeye's sake!
Okay, I see I'm getting ahead of myself. You're curious to know how I survived & what the heck I'm doing with this nifty stag horn necklace & this disquieting holy aura. I can answer both questions with one word, alright I lied it's three words & it's actually a name: Lief, Ullerstarl's Claim. He was an Ulfen Paladin of Ullerstarl down South on walkabout here in Varisia. Actually, he told me later that Ullerstarl woke him up from a sound sleep up near the crown of the world & told him to get his butt in gear & head South as there was some Prodigal son of HIS (Ullerstarl's) likely to get himself dead if he (Lief) didn't get a move on. I have no idea what a Prodigal is but I guess that is polite talk for 'Goblins we don't feel like killing' or something or other, cause as soon as he found me, Lief started in on how I was his 'squire' or some such. Actually, he called me something else, but it was in Skald & I never did learn to speak Skald... Then he proceeded to whip my butt into shape & teach me all sorts of things like protecting the weak & defending family & community and such. THEN he proceeded to get himself killed as we were giving this Varisian Caravan time to get away from a pack of Ogres. In gratitude, the Varisians 'allowed' me the opportunity to guard their sorry butts as they limped back down into Varisia. 'course as soon as we were back in 'civilized' (not the Linnorm Kingdoms) lands they kicked me to the curb (yeah I may not speak Varisian, but I know 'Filthy Goblin' when I hear it). Left me in Riddleport! RIDDLEPORT!!! Do you know what happens to a Goblin Paladin in Riddleport!?! Actually, Riddleport was kind of fun, I got to work off a LOT of aggression there...
But eventually I realized that I wasn't actually doing what I really was supposed to so I made my way back here. I figure somehow or other Shalelu started whatever this is, so where she hangs her hat is where you will find me.
