Humerus Fetch's page

"They seem to really like you, blood boss!" Humerus says as he moves around one of the other liches and twice drives his firsts into the distracted undead.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Strike x2
Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (19) + 31 = 50
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (1, 1, 8) + 10 = 20
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune
Crit? Deadly!: 1d10 ⇒ 7
Crit? 2d10 persistent fire damage (that ignores resistance).
Crit? The target must succeed at a DC 40 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 31 - 5 ⇒ (18) + 31 - 5 = 44
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (4, 9, 4) + 10 + 1 = 28
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 2

Fortitude (legendary, +1 vs. disease and poison, Third Path to Perfection): 1d20 + 30 ⇒ (14) + 30 = 44
Fortitude (legendary, +1 vs. disease and poison, Third Path to Perfection): 1d20 + 30 ⇒ (13) + 30 = 43

Humerus ignores the cold utterly, as he continues to punch away at the demilich. "Whoa, bone boss, did you disintegrate her? Caraid's not going ot be happy with that!"

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Flurry to Strike x2, ◈ Strike
Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (5) + 31 = 36 minimum 10 on the roll! So 41
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (1, 1, 1) + 10 = 13
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 31 - 5 ⇒ (12) + 31 - 5 = 38
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (9, 10, 2) + 10 + 1 = 32
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 5
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune

Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed), iterative x2: 1d20 + 31 - 10 ⇒ (20) + 31 - 10 = 41 Yay. Crit fishing pays off sometimes.
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (6, 8, 4) + 10 = 28
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 5
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune
Crit? Deadly!: 1d10 ⇒ 1Crit? 2d10 persistent fire damage (that ignores resistance).
Crit? The target must succeed at a DC 40 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

Ready for a fight, Humerus rushes in and punches two of the demiliches. "That that, bone boss! And that!"

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Strike x2
Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (1) + 31 = 32 minimum 10 on the roll! So that's a 41
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (5, 7, 3) + 10 = 25
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 31 - 5 ⇒ (15) + 31 - 5 = 41
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (4, 4, 3) + 10 + 1 = 22
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 3
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead

"Um ... What does the height of their abilities entail, boss?" Humerus asks.

"Thanks, boss," Humerus says, heading off before coming to a sudden stop at Aily's question.

I suspect we're walking into a fight, but that's never stopped us before. :D

"Whoa, blood boss, that was really scary," Humerus says. "I thought we were going to make her be undead, not just dead."

"Good thing I don't have skin and you don't have bodies, fluxboss, or you might have hit me!" Humerus says, swinging away in hopes of hitting a creature or its images.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Strike x2, ◈ Strike x3
Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (14) + 31 = 45
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (9, 8, 5) + 10 = 32

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 31 - 5 ⇒ (20) + 31 - 5 = 46
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (5, 4, 2) + 10 + 1 = 22
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 3
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune
Crit! Deadly!: 1d10 ⇒ 8Crit? 2d10 persistent fire damage (that ignores resistance).
Crit! The target must succeed at a DC 40 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 31 - 10 ⇒ (7) + 31 - 10 = 28
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (7, 3, 5) + 10 + 1 = 26
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 3
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead

Carefully moving around -- or through -- the wraiths, Humerus punches one of them again.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride into a flank, ◈ Strike x2
Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (1) + 31 = 32 minimum 10 on the roll! So instead of a crit fumble, that's 41!
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (5, 10, 4) + 10 = 29
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 31 - 5 ⇒ (3) + 31 - 5 = 29
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (7, 2, 9) + 10 + 1 = 29
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 5
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead

Will (master, +1 vs. disease, poison, fear, Path to Perfection): 1d20 + 26 ⇒ (10) + 26 = 36 Crit success!

"Whoa, boss, time is on my side!" Humerus exclaims, falling into his fighting stance with preternatural speed.

He rushes toward one of the wraiths and punches its incorporeal form.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Strike x2
Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (2) + 31 = 33 minimum 10 on the roll so 41!
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (4, 1, 7) + 10 = 22
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 4
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 31 - 5 ⇒ (9) + 31 - 5 = 35
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (4, 3, 9) + 10 + 1 = 27
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 3
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune

"That'd be great, blood boss! But ... how is it cursed? Does it make you quick -- like all covered with flesh and blood and everything, not fast, I mean?"

"Hi, boss, we sure did! We've been all over Geb! And now we're looking for Kulun’s Folly!" Humerus replies.

"You got it, ghost boss!" Humerus happily declares. He looks to Aily to determine where they'll be going first.

Reputation: Builders League 6, Carters Consortium 8, Celebrants 17, Export Guild 31, Reanimators 17, Tax Collectors Union 14, Proclaimers 3

So I'd assume the Celebrants, Reanimators or Tax Collectors would make the most sense to fold the carters into mechanically. But not sure how much that will really matter.

Humerus, level 19!
+1 to everything
+15 hp

General feat: TBD

incredible movement +30 feet

perfected form: You have purged incompetence from your techniques. On your first Strike of your turn, if you roll lower than 10, you can treat the attack roll as a 10. This is a fortune effect.

skill increase: Diplomacy to Legendary

I'm fine setting her free, but that's me as a player. If others want to hand her over to Mirgona's opponents, I'm also fine with that. Export Guild is our top rep, but we can afford to not boost that more...

"Hey, Blood Boss, what should we do with Erthrais? Maybe she wants to come spend time in the mansion too?"

"Um, Blood Boss, I think your Boo Baby just abandoned you!" Humerus says. He looks around to see what the others are doing.

Will flee if Telvir and Aily do... I may even not try to trip Smoke and leave him behind for all the times he's tried to bite me...

Reflex (expert, +1 vs. disease and poison): 1d20 + 27 ⇒ (4) + 27 = 31 Hero Point! 2 remaining
Reflex (expert, +1 vs. disease and poison): 1d20 + 27 ⇒ (14) + 27 = 41

"Gross, boss!" Humerus says, somehow gagging as he falls into his fighting stance. He rushes forward to try to grab the dragon-thing.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 31 - 2 ⇒ (9) + 31 - 2 = 38
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 - 2 ⇒ (9) + 30 - 5 - 2 = 32
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (8, 3, 7) + 10 = 28
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 2

Persistent slashing: 4d8 - 4 ⇒ (1, 8, 3, 2) - 4 = 10
Flat, DC 15: 1d20 ⇒ 9

Humerus nods, taking the soul urn and cradling it carefully in his bony arms.

"Wait a second, boss, who's feeding on your souls? Like a soul vampire?" Humerus interjects.

"Sure thing, blood boss! ... For what?"

"You got it, blood boss!" Humerus says, admiring how he looked with his skin on.

"Boy, you sure were handsome, boss!"

Humerus tries to help Telvir. "Did you look there, blood boss? How about here? Behind that book?"

Perception (expert) to Aid: 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (19) + 21 = 40 LOL. Should've just made the check, but didn't think I had any shot at it. Anyway, +2; even if I'd have to use Society, that'd be a success and give a +1

LOL!

"I think they might smell, blood boss? Have you tried sniffing around?"

Humerus experimentally sniffs the air.

Took a little less damage thanks to resistance!

Humerus flinches, but holds onto the Vanth, trying to smash it before raising his shield.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike, ◈ Raise Shield (+1 AC)

Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (19) + 31 = 50
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 ⇒ (2) + 30 - 5 = 27
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (5, 2, 9) + 10 = 26
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 3

"Not to be rude, boss, but you're kind of an embarrassment to skeletons," Humerus says, flailing away. He flinches again as Smoke lunges too close to his leg, but manages to land a vicious blow.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike, ◈ Evangelize,
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (8) + 31 = 39
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 ⇒ (17) + 30 - 5 = 42
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (5, 5, 9) + 10 = 29
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 3

Diplomacy (expert): 1d20 + 28 ⇒ (13) + 28 = 41

Humerus happily waves to the nice shabtis as he departs through the mirror.

"Whoa, blood boss, I thought this would be a nice place, with lots of other friendly skeletons, since it's a bone yard. But these skeletons are MEAN! And have funny faces!" Humerus exclais as the vanths move to attack.

"No offense, boss!" he adds to the nearest one as he falls into his fighting stance and moves to attack.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and try again/Strike
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (3) + 31 = 34
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage
Athletics (master) to Grapple, iterative: 1d20 + 31 - 5 ⇒ (13) + 31 - 5 = 39 or Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 ⇒ (6) + 30 - 5 = 31
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (9, 1, 2) + 10 = 22
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 3

"Wait, you think they're going to assassinate that shabby person?" Humerus says, scratching his skull.

He pauses in thought.

"Yeah, I could see Aily doing that."

"What do you think is happening in there, blood boss?" Humerus asks, peering in the direction Aily and Caraid went.

"They sound nice," Humerus says. "Maybe Caraid should talk to the shabbies, since we all don't like Kemnebi, so maybe we can team up."

Humerus looks at the other shabtis.

"Oh, sure, we can let you out, boss. No problem!" he says. "Can you tell us anything about Raphira or the other shabbies?"

"What are you, boss?" Humerus asks in a whisper. "I know you're not supposed to say this to ladies, but you look older than your age. By a lot!"

I got you, Aily!

Performance (untrained) to Aid: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

"Maybe if you sway your hips a little more, blood boss," Humerus suggests to Aily. Unhelpfully.

Nice to not be blamed for a change!

"Those birds don't really look very happy," Humerus observes wisely. He's pretty sure he isn't going to persuade them otherwise, with with his lack of anything resembling life (other than a skeletal system).

Caraid's help keeps Humerus looking more whole than not -- minus the whole missing epidermis and organs and muscles, of course -- as he continues to try to destroy the construct.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Raise Shield (+1 to AC), ◈ Flurry to Strike x2
Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 30 ⇒ (14) + 30 = 44
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (1, 1, 4) + 10 = 16
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 ⇒ (11) + 30 - 5 = 36
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (8, 10, 5) + 10 + 1 = 34
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 6

Humerus flinches. "Just keep that vicious beast away from me, blood boss," he cries out, unfortunately far more worried about the slavering dog coming for his shin bones than the mithral constructs.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Raise Shield (+1 to AC), ◈ Flurry to Strike x2
Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 30 ⇒ (1) + 30 = 31
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 ⇒ (5) + 30 - 5 = 30
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (4, 5, 4) + 10 + 1 = 24
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 5

"Thanks, blood boss!" Humerus calls, barely with any fractures at all after Caraid's spell.

He flinches violently as the raving cur charges in to bite and nearly catches his legbone.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Raise Shield (+1 to AC), ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (4) + 31 = 35
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 ⇒ (4) + 30 - 5 = 29
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (7, 4, 9) + 10 = 30
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 6

"Careful blood boss, I think Aily's looking at you!" Humerus calls.

"Ha! You can try to stab me in the eye, but there's nothing in there for you to stab!" Humerus brags.

He sets his feet, pummeling the construct before tossing it aside.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Flurry to Strike x2, ◈ whirling throw
Falling Stone (magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 30 ⇒ (11) + 30 = 41
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 ⇒ (5, 7, 2) + 10 = 24
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 ⇒ (16) + 30 - 5 = 41
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver, deadly d10): 3d10 + 10 + 1 ⇒ (2, 8, 6) + 10 + 1 = 27
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 1

Athletics (master) vs. Fort DC to throw: 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (20) + 31 = 51
–2 circumstance penalty to your check if the target is one size larger than you and a –4 circumstance penalty if it’s larger than that. You gain a +2 circumstance bonus to your check if the target is one size smaller than you and a +4 circumstance bonus if it’s smaller than that. I throw it 35 feet on a success and do damage (it lands prone on a crit success); on a failure it remains grabbed, though only until the end of my turn
Bludgeoning damage: 3d6 + 5 ⇒ (5, 4, 1) + 5 = 15

"Whoa, hold on, boss!" Humerus cries out, falling into his fighting stance. Setting his feet, he rushes toward the nearest of the statues and grabs it.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to [ url=https://2e.aonprd.com/Actions.aspx?ID=35]Grapple[/url] and Strike
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 31 ⇒ (14) + 31 = 45
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 ⇒ (1) + 30 - 5 = 26

"I did it with my mind, blood boss!" Humerus exclaims. [b]"I just thought, sure, I can do that, and it got done!"

As Aily gets to work, he adds -- just in case -- “I walk the Spiral.”

"You got it, boss! Mom's the word!" Humerus agrees, thinking about his mother. She'd always liked a certain type of flower, though he's darned if he can remember it. Maybe a black lily? Or an iris?

Too bad we have like no favor with the consortium. Also, I have space in my skull, Telvir!

"You got it, ghost boss!" Humerus agrees. He looks at the others. "Does anyone know where these ruins are?"

"Oh, I know this one, ghost boss! They move stuff around. Well, not so much them, but their skeletons and other servants. That's what I was doing when they gave me to them!" Humerus says, pointing at his three companions.

Humerus, level 18!
+1 to everything
+15 hp

+class feat: Diamond Fists: Your body hardens as you combine your attacks, making your finishing blows more damaging. Your unarmed attacks gain the forceful and deadly d10 traits. Any that already had one or both of these traits increase their weapon damage dice by one step.

+archetype feat: Form lock [one-action] Your ability to manipulate your enemy's body is potent enough that you can tear and break apart alternate forms. Attempt an Athletics check to counteract a polymorph effect currently affecting the creature you have grabbed or restrained. If the target is somehow under the effect of multiple polymorph effects, you can choose which one to attempt to counteract; the GM chooses randomly if the separate effects aren't obvious. The target is then temporarily immune for 1 day.

+skill feat: Quick Climb: When Climbing, you move 5 more feet on a success and 10 more feet on a critical success, up to your Speed. If you’re legendary in Athletics, you gain a climb Speed equal to your Speed.

Humurus nods, but looks back at the darvakka, wondering if they should free it immediately. But as always, he goes with what those smarter than him think.

"Do you want us to get you out, bird boss?" Humerus asks.

Yeah, that's disconcerting.

"If you keep everything in, you're going to explode, boss!" Humerus says, grabbing the lich this time, before raining blows down on him.

◈ Fly, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike, ◈ Strike
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 30 - 1 ⇒ (19) + 30 - 1 = 48
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 29 - 5 - 1 ⇒ (14) + 29 - 5 - 1 = 37
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver): 3d8 + 10 ⇒ (5, 3, 5) + 10 = 23
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 2
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune

Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 29 - 10 - 1 ⇒ (20) + 29 - 10 - 1 = 38
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver): 3d8 + 10 ⇒ (4, 4, 7) + 10 = 25
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune
Crit? 2d10 persistent fire damage (that ignores resistance).
Crit? The target must succeed at a DC 37 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

Haha! I love that that works!

Fortitude (legendary, +1 vs. disease and poison, Third Path to Perfection): 1d20 + 28 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (18) + 28 + 1 - 2 = 45

Humerus flinches at the spell, only to realize he's fine. "Sorry, boss, I don't have anything inside me already!" he says, grabbing and punching at the lich.

◈ Fly, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike, ◈ Strike
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 30 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (10) + 30 + 1 - 2 = 39
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 29 - 5 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (4) + 29 - 5 + 1 - 2 = 27
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver): 3d8 + 10 ⇒ (7, 4, 8) + 10 = 29
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 4
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 29 - 10 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (16) + 29 - 10 + 1 - 2 = 34
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, adamantine, cold iron and silver): 3d8 + 10 ⇒ (1, 5, 3) + 10 = 19
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 4
2d6 persistent vitality damage to undead; on a critical hit, the undead creature is enfeebled 1 and stupefied 1 as long as it has the persistent damage from this rune

"Whoa, boss, you almost hit me with those things!" Humerus squawks as he takes to the air. "Look, I'm flying!" he cries out, thinking happy thoughts.

◈ Fly, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and grapple/Strike, ◈ Imbue Mindlessness!
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 30 + 1 - 3 ⇒ (5) + 30 + 1 - 3 = 33
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage; if not, I'll try again
Athletics (master) to Grapple, iterative: 1d20 + 30 - 5 + 1 - 3 ⇒ (12) + 30 - 5 + 1 - 3 = 35
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage
If first grapple was enough, I'd Strike instead:
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 29 - 5 + 1 - 3 ⇒ (4) + 29 - 5 + 1 - 3 = 26

Then he tries to wipe the lich's brain DC 38 Will!

Will (master, +1 vs. disease, poison, fear, Path to Perfection): 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (2) + 24 = 26 Ugh. Frightened 4!

"Um, boss, how'd you get up there? And if you could come back down, that'd be great!" Humerus says, peering upward as he ignores the toxic cloud.

Shrugging, he lifts a fist in the creature's direction and fires off his ring of the ram!

◈ Evangelize, ◈◈ Ring of the ram
Diplomacy (expert): 1d20 + 27 + 1 - 4 ⇒ (10) + 27 + 1 - 4 = 34

Force (DC 22 Fort save, so this is probably useless, but I don't have many options: 4d6 ⇒ (1, 5, 6, 6) = 18

[spoiler=Evangelize] You point out a detail that incontrovertibly supports your faith, causing a listener's mind to whirl. Attempt a Diplomacy check and compare the result to the Will DC of a single target that can hear you and understands your language; that target is then temporarily immune to Evangelize with respect to your deity or philosophy for 1 day. A creature that already agrees with you is unaffected, and at the GM's discretion, a target that genuinely changes its perspective to support your faith as a result of the argument is also otherwise unaffected.
Critical Success The target is stupefied 2 for 1 round.
Success The target is stupefied 1 for 1 round.
Failure The target is unaffected. ]