Humerus Fetch's page

"But, boss, not letting us do what we need to do is considered an act of sad-shun against all of Geb!" Humerus points out. "And Geb is bigger than Yled."

Humerus scratches his skull.

"Sure thing, blood boss. Only, who's your quarry?"

"I'm trying to make sure no one hurts these bloodlords," Humerus answers a few moments after Telvir, once he realizes now one else is going to say what they hope to accomplish.

"Oh, that's nice! It could be a nice ring, blood boss, or maybe something in one of your heads?"

Humerus flinches, but then rushes in behind the slavering, bone-eating terror. He grabs the woman, ready to pummel her.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Grapple/Strike,
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 28 ⇒ (7) + 28 = 35
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage; if not, I'll try again

Athletics (master) to Grapple, iterative? (if first attempt failed): 1d20 + 28 - 5 ⇒ (19) + 28 - 5 = 42
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage
Or Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 27 - 5 ⇒ (20) + 27 - 5 = 42
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 9 ⇒ (7, 1) + 9 = 17
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 1
Crit? 2d10 persistent fire damage (that ignores resistance).
Crit? The target must succeed at a DC 34 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

"What should we do with them, blood boss?" Humerus asks. "They make it kind of obvious we're here."

"It's funny, blood boss, but you, know that's not my name, right?" Humerus says, glancing back at Telvir as he applies another fist to the alleged ifrit.

1d20 + 27 ⇒ (9) + 27 = 36
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 9 ⇒ (1, 7) + 9 = 17

Oooh! Finally get to use this! Clinch Strike (reaction) Your opponents can't slip your grasp without receiving further punishment. Make an unarmed melee Strike against the triggering creature (which successfully escapes your hold).

Falling Stone (forceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 27 ⇒ (6) + 27 = 33
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 + 4 ⇒ (3, 5) + 6 + 4 = 18

"Hey, boss, shoving isn't nice!" Humerus says, shaking his head. He goes to grab her again, though misses his follow-up blow. "Don't you know that Urgathoa wants you to keep things close?"

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike, ◈Evangelize

Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 28 ⇒ (7) + 28 = 35
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 27 - 5 ⇒ (2) + 27 - 5 = 24
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 9 ⇒ (7, 2) + 9 = 18
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 2

Diplomacy (expert): 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (18) + 25 = 43

Evangelize: You point out a detail that incontrovertibly supports your faith, causing a listener's mind to whirl. Attempt a Diplomacy check and compare the result to the Will DC of a single target that can hear you and understands your language; that target is then temporarily immune to Evangelize with respect to your deity or philosophy for 1 day. A creature that already agrees with you is unaffected, and at the GM's discretion, a target that genuinely changes its perspective to support your faith as a result of the argument is also otherwise unaffected. Critical Success The target is stupefied 2 for 1 round; Success The target is stupefied 1 for 1 round.

'They're slippery, but these guys aren't so bad, blood boss!" Humerus helpfully informs the others, continuing to pummel the one undead undine ifrit. Grabbing it again, he clinches in his grip, making sure it can't escape. He drives his fist into it twice. Since it's restrained with that Grapple check, I'll just hold onto him for a bit.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike, ◈ Strike again
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 28 ⇒ (20) + 28 = 48
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 27 - 5 ⇒ (15) + 27 - 5 = 37
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 9 ⇒ (8, 7) + 9 = 24
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 6
Crit? 2d10 persistent fire damage (that ignores resistance).
Crit? The target must succeed at a DC 34 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

Falling Stone, iterative x2: 1d20 + 27 - 10 ⇒ (18) + 27 - 10 = 35
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 9 ⇒ (8, 2) + 9 = 19
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 3

Humerus tries to grab the ifrit again -- "hey, boss, you're supposed to be hot, not slippery!" -- throwing fists furiously. He goes to throw him away -- only for the slippery ifrit to slide right out of his grasp! "Are you sure you're not an undine in disguise?!"

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike, ◈ Whirling Throw
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 28 ⇒ (9) + 28 = 37
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 27 - 5 ⇒ (7) + 27 - 5 = 29
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 9 ⇒ (3, 4) + 9 = 16
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 3

Athletics (master) vs. Fort DC to throw: 1d20 + 28 ⇒ (1) + 28 = 29

Geez. Somehow I went a month without posting in this thread. That's nuts, even if I was on vacation for a couple of weeks. Sorry about that!

Humerus flinches as Telvir commands Smoke to attack. Easily falling into his fighting stance, he rushes toward the other ifrit -- safely away from the dog's slavering jaws of bone crunching. He tries to grab it, and then hits it with his stone-like metacarpals, which burst into flame.

Stance Savant (enter a stance as a free action when we roll initiative), ◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to [ url=https://2e.aonprd.com/Actions.aspx?ID=35]Grapple[/url] and Strike
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 28 ⇒ (2) + 28 = 30
If successful, 5 bludgeoning damage

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 27 - 5 ⇒ (15) + 27 - 5 = 37
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 9 ⇒ (3, 2) + 9 = 14
Fire (ignore resistance): 1d6 ⇒ 4

"You got it, blood boss! That sounds like easy work," Humerus says, collecting the items from Zthni.

He listens in to people talking as Telvir wanders home.

Diplomacy (expert) to Gather Information: 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (7) + 25 = 32

"A gift, blood boss? Oh, what do you think it'll be? I wouldn't mind a nice sweater. These old bones get cold sometimes. Well, not really, but a nice sweater is still a nice gift."

"Huh? What do you want me to do, blood boss?" Humerus says, his attention diverted from a bone on the wall that looked like it would work particularly well as a replacement for one of his own cracked phalanges. "You want I should come with you like a bodyguard?"

I should have time in a week or so to go back through and see what we can calculate. (I'm a little behind on a project, but aiming to finish it by May 12.)

Have we done much with loot lately? I realized I'm still working with a striking rune instead of a greater striking. Feels like I should be updating that.

"You got it, boss. We'll be really subtle! Maybe I can ask questions about this Pesabnet, and then no one will know it's really the blood bosses here who are curious."

Humerus is very proud of this idea rattling around his empty skull.

Humerus follows suit with the Builders League and Export Guild.

Diplomacy (expert): 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (7) + 25 = 32
Diplomacy (expert): 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (9) + 25 = 34

As usual when they have time, Humerus goes out to relax at Aily's very firm suggestions. If he happens to learn something during this time, he definitely brings it back. He's not sure why Aily yelled at him last time he came into her room to tell her, but it likely had to do with her lack of clothing and Caraid's similar state.

He decides to wait outside their door, ignoring the noises coming from inside, to tell her what he's learned without interrupting her. He begins humming tunelessly to himself.

Stealth (master) to Dig Up Dirt: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (18) + 24 = 42

Humerus, level 15!
Attribute boosts: +1 to Strength and Charisma (to 20/+5), Dex and Con (both to 19/4.5, so no effect).
+1 to everything
+15 hp
Greater Weapon Specialization: Your damage from weapon specialization increases to 4 with weapons and unarmed attacks in which you’re an expert, 6 if you’re a master, and 8 if you’re legendary.

Third Path to Perfection (fortitude): You have made great progress in your personal studies of enlightenment. Choose one of the saving throws you selected for path to perfection or second path to perfection. Your proficiency rank for the chosen type of save increases to legendary. When you roll a critical failure on the chosen type of save, you get a failure instead. When you roll a failure on the chosen type of save against an effect that deals damage, you take half damage.

+5 speed

Skill increase: Athletics to Legen ... wait for it! ... dary!

Thanks, blood boss," Humerus blithely exclaims. "That sounds really nice!" The skeleton doesn't have any flesh to worry about the ghouls eating, not that it would likely occur to him even if he did.

I suggest we give the greater striking rune to Ceceka (and probably spell-storing too), and the +2 to Aily for her second dagger. I think Aily makes sense for the +2 armor rune, and greater resilient to Ceceka.

Coming out of his confusion, Humerus shrugs.

"You got it, blood boss!" he says cheerfully, pulling open the coffin as he flinches away from Smoke.

Humerus flinches! Realizing the horrible, vicious awful bone-chomping horror has finally decided to try to dismember and devour him, Humerus strikes first! He moves around the annoying vampire in his way and attacks Smoke!

Stride, Flurry to Strike x2, Strike
Targets? 1. Telvir, 2. Caraid, 3. Ceceka, 4. Vicious Awful Bone-Chomping Horror, 5. Aily, 6. Hyrune: 1d6 ⇒ 4
Falling Stone (foreceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (14) + 25 = 39
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 ⇒ (2, 8) + 6 = 16

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (8) + 25 - 5 = 28
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 ⇒ (6, 5) + 6 = 17

Falling Stone, iterative x2: 1d20 + 25 - 10 ⇒ (12) + 25 - 10 = 27
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 ⇒ (6, 2) + 6 = 14

Confused, Humerus rushes toward Hyrune, fists flying. "Bibbeldy-boop, blood boss!"

Stride, Flurry to Strike x2, Strike
Targets? 1. Telvir, 2. Caraid, 3. Ceceka, 4. Vicious Awful Bone-Chomping Horror, 5. Hyrune: 1d5 ⇒ 5 Haha! I love Humerus.
Falling Stone (foreceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (8) + 25 = 33
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 ⇒ (7, 2) + 6 = 15

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (3) + 25 - 5 = 23
Falling Stone, iterativex2: 1d20 + 25 - 10 ⇒ (4) + 25 - 10 = 19

Will (master, +1 vs. disease, poison, fear, Path to Perfection): 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (13) + 20 = 33

Humerus, more confused than usual, lashes out at the two slavering beasts around him -- the unrishen currently gnawing on him and the horrible hound that he knows has just been waiting for the perfect moment! His mind clears up -- as much as it ever is -- a moment later.

Flurry to Strike x2, Strike, Strike
Target (1=unrisen, 2=Smoke): 1d2 ⇒ 2 Smoke
Falling Stone (foreceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (9) + 25 = 34
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 ⇒ (6, 3) + 6 = 15

Target (1=unrisen, 2=Smoke): 1d2 ⇒ 1 Unrisen
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (20) + 25 - 5 = 40
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (2, 4) + 6 + 2 = 14
Crit? The target must succeed at a DC 31 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

Target (1=unrisen, 2=Smoke): 1d2 ⇒ 1 Unrisen
Falling Stone (foreceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed), iterative x2: 1d20 + 25 - 10 ⇒ (17) + 25 - 10 = 32
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 ⇒ (1, 8) + 6 = 15

Target (1=unrisen, 2=Smoke): 1d2 ⇒ 1 UnrisenFalling Stone (foreceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed), iterative x2: 1d20 + 25 - 10 ⇒ (12) + 25 - 10 = 27
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (4, 5) + 6 + 2 = 17

Will (master, +1 vs. disease, poison, fear, Path to Perfection) new save: 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (16) + 20 = 36

Well, that actually turned out OK. Just missed Smoke, I think, and still hit the unrisen one or two times.

"Really, boss, letting go anytime now would be nice," Humerus says, resorting to a couple of blows of his own. He continues, blathering a little in a way that makes no sense to Hyrune.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Flurry to Strike x2, ◈ Evangelize
Falling Stone (foreceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (13) + 25 = 38
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 ⇒ (4, 4) + 6 = 14
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (18) + 25 - 5 = 38
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (3, 2) + 6 + 2 = 13
Crit? The target must succeed at a DC 31 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

Diplomacy (expert): 1d20 + 23 ⇒ (4) + 23 = 27

Evangelize: You point out a detail that incontrovertibly supports your faith, causing a listener's mind to whirl. Attempt a Diplomacy check and compare the result to the Will DC of a single target that can hear you and understands your language ... I'm going to assume a 4 is a failure.

"No one likes a grabber, boss!" Humerus exclaims. Setting his stance more firmly, he tries to grabs the other undead back to prove his point -- only for it to avoid his grasp, thereby also proving his point.

Still trying to shake the other skeleton off, he stomps, sending a shockwave through the earth.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Flurry to Grapple x2, ◈ Mountain Quake
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (2) + 25 = 27
Athletics (master) to Grapple, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (6) + 25 - 5 = 26

You stomp, shaking the earth beneath you. Creatures on the ground within a 20-foot emanation take 4 damage, with a DC 32 basic Fortitude save. On a failure, they also fall prone. After you use this action, you can't use it again for 1d4 ⇒ 3 rounds.

"Wait, blood boss, which plots were yours?" Humerus asks.

Humerus is content to let others more capable -- and interested -- than him deal with the politics, and waits for everyone to be ready to proceed again. He looks for some bones to patch himself up.

Reflex (expert, +1 vs. disease and poison): 1d20 + 22 ⇒ (12) + 22 = 34

"Not nice, boss!" Humerus cries as he begins to burn, before flinching as Smoke -- the dog, not the toxic fumes -- enters the fray. He grabs Ibbu and drives a fist into him, ignoring the poisonous fumes.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Step, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike
Flat: 1d20 ⇒ 16
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (12) + 25 = 37
If successful, 4 bludgeoning damage
Flat: 1d20 ⇒ 19
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (17) + 25 - 5 = 37
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (6, 8) + 6 + 2 = 22
Crit? The target must succeed at a DC 31 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

Fortitude (master, +1 vs. disease and poison, Path to Perfection): 1d20 + 22 ⇒ (14) + 22 = 36 Success becomes a crit success, so no damage

"Who or what are you, boss?" Humerus asks without hesitation. "And where's Hyrune?"

Will leave the other question for someone else. Or, as always, feel free to interrupt Humerus.

Humerus flinches as the dog is picked up, and then begins climbing easily down the shaft. No problem doing it with assurance

As the smoke face forms, Humerus readily answers.

"Well, blood boss, I don't have any blood, so, nope, it's not red. It's nonexistent! I don't smell any secrets, but I'd guess it's when someone farts and doesn't tell anyone! Or maybe they drop a little bit of bat guano when they're in bat form? That usually can smell pretty bad..."

He pauses, trying to remember the last time he encountered any ashes.

"Oh, wait, when the boss' dress burst into flame and left ash everywhere! That was probably the last time!" He points at Aily. "Or maybe it's all that poison shadow ash we've found. There's been a lot of that."

"You got it, blood boss! Lot of bones here to replace mine," Humerus says as he starts picking through the other skeletal remains to find replacements for his own shattered bones. Down 20 hp

That is what you get for being mean. Unless that was directed toward Caraid, which would be more understandable.

Back to almost full unhealth, Humerus grabs the slowed skeleton again and, after smashing its skull, tries to toss it back across the room. "Sorry, boss, no time for you right now."

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike, ◈ Whirling Throw
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (20) + 25 = 45
If successful, 4 bludgeoning damage
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (13) + 25 - 5 = 33
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (5, 3) + 6 + 2 = 16

Athletics (master) vs. Fort DC to throw: 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (9) + 25 = 34
–2 circumstance penalty to your check if the target is one size larger than you and a –4 circumstance penalty if it’s larger than that. You gain a +2 circumstance bonus to your check if the target is one size smaller than you and a +4 circumstance bonus if it’s smaller than that. I throw it 30 feet on a success and do damage (it lands prone on a crit success); on a failure it remains grabbed, though only until the end of my turn
Bludgeoning damage: 3d6 + 4 ⇒ (3, 5, 6) + 4 = 18

Fortitude (master, +1 vs. disease and poison, Path to Perfection): 1d20 + 22 ⇒ (1) + 22 = 23 Yeah, going to Hero Point that (2 remainign). On the bright side, can't get any worse!
Fortitude (master, +1 vs. disease and poison, Path to Perfection): 1d20 + 22 ⇒ (18) + 22 = 40 Boom! I'm not sure order of operations whether my Path to Perfection would turn that into a crit success and then one degree worse would make it a normal success, or if the one degree worse would happen first, meaning it's a failure... I'm just going to split the difference and take three-quarters damage. :D So a total of 112

Humerus lets out a cry of pain as nearly half his bones shatter or disintegrate. "Not nice, boss!" he growls, as he drives his remaining phalanges into it. He goes to toss it aside, only to realize too late that his throwing bones seem to be missing.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Strike x2, ◈ Whirling Throw
Falling Stone (foreceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (4) + 25 = 29
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 ⇒ (5, 2) + 6 = 13
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (13) + 25 - 5 = 33
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (4, 8) + 6 + 2 = 20

Athletics (master) vs. Fort DC to throw: 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (1) + 25 = 26

Up to 115 hp at start of next turn from fast healing.

I don't know what Aily could possibly be thinking about. That definitely doesn't sound like me at all. Maybe some other skeleton?

"Whoa, boss, where did you get those nice blood cloaks?" he asks, automatically falling into his fighting stance I have stance savant, so I can try to remember to stop wasting an action on entering the stance.

He rushes forward and stomps his foot, creating a minor tremor. Grabbing one of the skeletons, he drives his fist into its skull.

◈ Stride, ◈ Mountain Quake (4 damage, basic DC 32 Fort save, fall prone on a failure), ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (14) + 25 = 39
If successful, 4 bludgeoning damage
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (20) + 25 - 5 = 40
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (1, 8) + 6 + 2 = 17
Crit? The target must succeed at a DC 32 Fortitude save or be slowed 1 until the end of my next turn.

"Oh!" Humerus exclaims at Telvir's words. "Is that what that was? I thought I was remembering something, but couldn't really remember what, and then I was just confused."

He nods at Caraid's words.

"You got it boss! I'll come in and let you know if I see or hear anything."

This is great. They're clearly confused whose side I'm on! :D

Seeing Ceceka badly hurt by Hyrume's champion, Humerus realizes he's going to have to take things into his own bony hands. "You got it, Blood Boss!" he calls as Aily has the same realization, and he rushes to put Cawadok between them.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Strike x2
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (3) + 25 = 28
Athletics (master) to Grapple, True Target: 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (3) + 25 = 28

Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (13) + 25 - 5 = 33
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (8, 3) + 6 + 2 = 19

"Hey, blood boss, don't get confused," Humerus calls out as he rushes in to help Ceceka. [b]"I don't want to be racist, but I think we we sort of all look alike!"

With too many to grab, he strikes out with his fists, trying to batter the smaller of the two troops.

Mountain Stance, Stride, Flurry!
Falling Stone (foreceful, magical, nonlethal, unarmed): 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (8) + 25 = 33
Bludgeoning damage, cold iron and silver: 2d8 + 6 ⇒ (3, 8) + 6 = 17
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 25 - 5 ⇒ (15) + 25 - 5 = 35
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (1, 5) + 6 + 2 = 14

"Wait a minute! You don't think I'm a lady skeleton, do you, blood boss?! Am I ... feminine? I guess I never thought about it, but you don't really have any way of knowing. Not that it matters much to me, but I was a man."

He pauses, scratching his skull.

"Is gender a flesh construct? Not like, you know a charnel creation, but something that you only have if you have flesh?!"

"Hey, blood boss, how come you're casting it on me first? Shouldn't ladies go first?"

Right. Sorry, I'm as empty headed as Humerus! But, yeah, some darkvision drops probably make sense. I was going to say something to protect me against vitality energy vs. a cleric, but we're in Geb, so that's not a worry!

"So, blood bosses, when do we want to challenge them? And should we get stuff to get ready for it?"

I only have low-light vision, so if this will be in darkness, I should get something to replace that. We know Hyrune's a vampire, right? So should also probably plan for that (making sure we have magical silver, anything else we think we might need).

Oblivious to the others' goings-on, Humerus continues gathering gossip from the other skeletons.

Stealth (master) to Dig Up Dirt: 1d20 + 23 ⇒ (8) + 23 = 31

Humerus again sets out, at Aily's instruction, to see what he can learn. He's a little unsure why she said his head is so empty no one could possibly ever think he's a spy, but that thought only lasts for about six seconds before he's focused on talking to anyone else who's interested.

Stealth (master) to Dig Up Dirt: 1d20 + 23 ⇒ (4) + 23 = 27

Humerus Fetch, Level 14!
+1 to everything
+15 hp
Monk feat: Mountain Quake: You stomp, shaking the earth beneath you. Creatures on the ground within a 20-foot emanation take damage equal to your Strength modifier (minimum 0), with a basic Fortitude save against your class DC. On a failure, they also fall prone. After you use this action, you can't use it again for 1d4 rounds.

Special If you have this feat, the Dexterity modifier cap to your AC while using Mountain Stance increases from +1 to +2.

Skill feat: Evangelize: You point out a detail that incontrovertibly supports your faith, causing a listener's mind to whirl. Attempt a Diplomacy check and compare the result to the Will DC of a single target that can hear you and understands your language; that target is then temporarily immune to Evangelize with respect to your deity or philosophy for 1 day. A creature that already agrees with you is unaffected, and at the GM's discretion, a target that genuinely changes its perspective to support your faith as a result of the argument is also otherwise unaffected.

Critical Success The target is stupefied 2 for 1 round.
Success The target is stupefied 1 for 1 round.
Failure The target is unaffected.

Archetype feat: Imbue Mindlessness: You grasp the mind of an undead creature and temporarily wipe it as empty as a zombie's brain. You can target any undead with your divine innate harm spell, not just mindless undead. When you target one non-mindless undead creature with this spell, you can transform its effects. Instead of harm's normal effects, the target must attempt a Will save.
(NOTE: My read on this is I CAN transform its effects, but I don't have to. This would let me use my harm spell to heal myself. But let me know if you disagree. Not that I think stupefied would be a huge issue for Humerus.)

"Sure, your pallid bossiness. That makes a lot of sense. So only hit him a little?" Humerus asks.

"You got it, blood boss. Did anyone see which way they went?"

"Hey! You almost hit me, boss! If I had flesh...!" Humerus says as the arrow goes cleanly between his ribs.

He rushes toward the vampire -- if it wants to try to shoot him, he's not going to just stand back and let it -- and nearly slips, but catches himself at the last moment by grabbing the vampire around the neck.

◈ Mountain Stronghold, ◈ Stride, ◈ Flurry to Grapple and Strike,
Athletics (master) to Grapple: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (1) + 24 = 25 I have a Hero Point to spare, so guess I'll use it! 2 remaining
Athletics (master) to Grapple, iterative: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (14) + 24 = 38
If successful, 4 bludgeoning damage
Falling Stone, iterative: 1d20 + 24 - 5 ⇒ (9) + 24 - 5 = 28
Bludgeoning damage (forceful, cold iron and silver): 2d8 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (2, 6) + 6 + 2 = 16