Brill_Laaksonen's page

Was this ever finished?

The man, the myth, the legend Drizzt Do'Urden could whup Conan to nothing. Drizzt baby. He wouldn't even need to call Guenhwyvar. Google it if you are clue-less.

Not only could Drizzt not defeat Conan, the Weenie @$$ Drow wouldn't even last three seconds before he started whining and angsting. I'd put better odds on Kirk. (Though now thoughts of overweight Arnie, and tubby Shatner trying to fight one another are making me chortle)

Lamont Cranston knows: the Shadow would whup Conan.

Leela from Futurama would kick Conan's but with her eye closed.

Fedor Emelianenko would make Conan tap out in 30 seconds.

Conan kills people... though cool, none of these guys would even make an impression.

Now the original Conan Series has been spoken of. Since I own the original printings I'm happy to list them off for everyone.

They are
1. Conan
2. Conan of Cimmeria
3. Conan the Freebooter
4. Conan the Wanderer
5. Conan the Adventurer
6. Conan the Buccaneer
7. Conan the Warrior
8. Conan the Usurper
9. Conan the Conqueror
10. Conan the Avenger
11. Conan of Aquilonia
12. Conan of the Isles

That list is no less then three different series by R.E. Howard, Lin Carter, L. Sprague De Camp and Bjorn Nyberg. My father and I have done our best arrange them into a chronological order of Conan's life. The last two novels weren't even written by Howard. And considering that Howard was a contemporary of Lovecraft, and shared some of tendencies to encourage others to use his creations, its no surprise that Lin Carter stole his thunder to ride to fame on. Having read much of Howard’s other works, I know that the author hated the character (Conan) and wanted to write more historical fiction. But even he could not defeat the Barbarians will to live.

But if we want to talk about Characters who can defeat Conan? Well He got beaten enough in the stories, Either by mobs, or by supremely skilled individuals. He’s been sold as a slave enough times to evidence that. Some say that Silke and Franzetta's; Gath of Baal could top him. Others that some of Howard’s other characters, such as Kull, Solomon Kane, Bran Mac Morn, Black Vulmea. Or maybe some of Moorcocks characters? Elric and Conan clashed in the comics, but in keeping with the purer fiction the Novels, Elric, or any of the other Eternal Champions such as Corum would be a much stiffer challenge. Perhaps Lin Carters own Ganelon Silvermane? Historically speaking I would say that Gilgamesh, or Beowulf could definitely take Conan, to say nothing of Heraclese, or Yamato Date. King Arthur Probably couldn't stand against him on his own per say, but having a magic sword with a scabbard that heals all your wounds, as well as a whole order of knights. Gives the good king a certain edge. Lancelot Du Lac could take him, though Conan's willingness to ignore Chivalry would definitely make him a tough opponent.

But if you want to stay with D&D then IMO theres only one character that has a chance against Conan. Warduke, He's been around forever, he's not afraid to go in face to face and mix it up, and just like Conan he's not afraid to cheat, groin punch, and fight dirty to Make it happen.

There, my 2 bits and a Pound.

Chernobolg: old slavic god, god of darkness and storms, accepted human sacrifices made by smashing in the skull with a rock or hammer. (Gaimans version actually had a hammer). Chern, didn't live in the sky or on mountain tops, but deep in the earth at the roots of the mountains, the sacrifices were made at the mountaintop so the blood would run down from the roof of the world and Chern would see it. His brother/other face Bilbolg accepted the sacrifice of livestock, and always at a clearing in the forest, so that their blood would nurture the growing things in the world.

Pretty standard slavic myth actually, if you need to detail it more just expand along the lines that every creature of Slavic myth is above all serious, scary, potentially dark, and ultimately required for the well bring of the world as we know it.

Happy halloween!!

Pizza!!

Possum Stew!!!

Alright time to see who really knows their "B grade" fantasy movies.

Nighthawk: a truly wonderfully awful low budget film, featuring of all people Jack palance as a One eyed villain.

Hearts In Armor: High costume budget... awful everything else... a Great D&D inspirational movie.

StormQuest: Men fight for equal rights in a female dominated fantasy kingdom. it'll make your eyes bleed!

Ladyhawk: an undersung classic, a couple in love are cursed, during the day she becomes a hawk, at night he transforms into a wolf.

Beastmaster: no not the awful Sci-fi tv series, and don't bother with any of the sequals. the first movie is the only one worth watching.

Sword and the Scorcerer: Yes theres a movie, and its bad... a prince must win back his kingdom from an evil mage. First movie attempt to make "a bad-ass magic sword" this prop sprts three sword blades, two of which can be 'fired' at people, and then on top of it all theres a concealed short sword in the hilt.

Red Sonja: This movie paid for Conan the Cestroyer, co-stars Arnold alongside some eminently forgettable actress with bad red hair extensions. It has a decent 'Water-Dragon' fight scene, and lots of scantily clad fantasy babes.

I could go on for a long time, but I'll spare you the pain. My knowledge of this selection of Stupifyingly awful films, comes from Growing up in the SCA, and beginning to play D&D at the tender age of 6. A combination of fates that I wouldn't wish on anyone... especially anyone from Ohio...

Why not just go for the Order of the Bow Initiate? If what you're keen on is the Bad-@$$ use of archery skills then that would seem to the best route. And then theres always the various Classes proposed by other D20 Products by other companies, check out Path of the Sword for the Legends And Lairs line, or the books Evil, and Wild from AEG (the Evil book does well evil, much better then Book of vile Darkness). There is a Prestige class in Evil called the Blood Archer, it allows for ranged sneak attacks, and makes an evil Ranger (or Scout) really scary.