Spoiler:
Bastardos double checks, listening and watching intently to make sure the coast is clear.
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Spoiler: Bastardos sets off, creeping towards the Captain's cabins.
Spoiler: Bastardos barks out a sharp cackle and slaps his knee HA! yessir, Owlbear, I reckon I DO loike crab 'swell! See? LOADS in common! We'll be best mates!"
"Now, loike I said, I was sent down here on account'a killin' these rats! Only thing is though, a YUUUUUGE one-" he stretches out his hands for emphasis "-Went and ran up into the cappn's quarters! "Now iff'n I don't take care'f it, I'll gett'a lashin' fer sure! But if I go in there, I'll get even worse!" He drags a finger across his neck, with a kkkkhhhtttchhhh He slumps against the wall next to Owlbear with a heavy sigh "Ain't there any way outta this!?" he fakes an incredibly depressed expression, until switching to his eyes lighting up and a genuine smile shining on his face; "Say! I got an idear!"
He springs back to his feet "I'll set a trap for the rat, roight at the end of the stairs! That way when'e comes out-" he slams his fist into his open palm "BLAMMO!!! The rat'll be dead, an' I won't be in trouble! You can 'elp me, too, friend! All's I needjya ta do is uhhhhh... SUPERVISE! He gives Owlbear a friendly nudge "You stay an' make sure I does the job, and that I don't slink off into the cappn's quarters! Ye'll be juss' loike my Boss! Whadda ya say, boss-man?
Spoiler: Bastardos speaks in a softer, friendlier tone, as if coaxing a scared child "What? Lil ol' me?", He chuckles as if they were both in on the same joke, laughing along with Owlbear and nodding his head. "Why, I'm just tryin' ta do me job, mate! Mean ol' mistah Scourge sent me down below ta take care'a' the vermin!" "Say! Now there's summ' we have in common! Ol' Scourge is awful mean to us both! What else we got in common, hm? I wonder... He looks expectantly at Owlbear, waiting for an answer.
Below Deck:
Bored and poking around some of the crates, Bastardos comes across the five greanadoe. He nearly chokes. "Oh, you beautiful- beeeee--uuutiful lil' eggs'a'deeeestruction~ he chuckles out. He scoops the grenades up and looks around the hold. Owlbear. "Loike 'ell Grok's puttin' me ta work... heheheh he mumbles to himself. Bastardos crosses the hold, approaching Owlbear with a friendly grin. "'Allo, mate! Look, I'd loike ta' apologize 'bout the other noight! Lost my temper on ya, I did, was awful of me!" He extends his hand 'Ow 'bout we make friendly again, eh?"
I'm always in, dawg
Bastardos peeks over the edge of the boat, popping off another bolt at the creatures. At the sound of a calming voice, he quickly scuttles over to Vex, clamping all four of his limbs around one of her legs like a child "OH! OH SAVE ME, PLEASE!
Bastardos drops the oar and peeks over the side, taking a shot at the lobster.
He quickly ducks back down to the bottom of the boat, sobbing loudly through snots and tears "OH GODS THEY'RE GONNA BLOODY EAT 'ER, THE POOR WOMAN! AND WE'RE NEXT!!!
The tiny Kobold uses the oar to stop himself from falling out of the boat, then resumes clutching it and sobbing. "I DON'T WANNA GET EATEN BY LOBSTERS!!!" His voice squeaking out at a high pitch.
Bastardos is going to try and smack the reefclaw with an oar from the boat.
Sorry for any delays on my end, just moved into college residence and making some big adjustments. Should be more present now.
Bastardos climbs back in the boat, coughing up water. He wraps his has arms around Maeto's neck, sobbing "OH THANK YE! I THOUGHT I WAS DONE FOR!" Bastardos composes himself, and directs Maeto to the glinting object. He is also going to go on point, and try and pick the crabs out rather than going to get them.
Bastardos scans the reef bottom, and spots a crab scuttling on the bottom! He points it out as he steps on the side of the ship "Look! One roight e're!"
He dives off the side of the ship, and immediately starts drowning.
Bastardos considers the distance to the reef and shifts nervously. All he can think is how ill-equipped his tiny arms and half-a-leg are to such... lengthy marathons. He mumbles out a quiet little croak, doing his best to slowly back away unnoticed."Ahhhhh, actually Mistah Scourge, I lost'a, er, bet withh'n the quartermaster, and I'll be remiss if I'm late fer me first day on the job... aheheh..."
Bastardos throws up his hands as he stomps away from the group. "I DON' NEED YA TA' LIKE ME AFTER YER ALL BLOW'D UP!!"
Bastardos turns from Grok seething and approaches Owl Bear. He joins Scourge in the punishment.
He attempts to give Owl Bear a swift kick in the shin "You cost me a week a' my loife, ya great galoot!"
"Disqualified!?" Bastardos mutters under his breath. His eye goes wide, and he clutches his chest; if he could sweat it would be running cold. 20 gold was a paltry sum, but a week living under Grok's thumb filled him with dread.
He raises his raspy little voice as loud as he can, trying to work the crowd into a frenzy "SOD THE RULES! WE CAME HERE TA SEE BLOOD, AND BY CLUB OR BY KNUCKLE WE'LL GET BLOOD!!
Bastardos slaps out his good hand, and grabs Grok's thumb, shaking vigorously. "Ha! Yer on! Twenty gold an'na week's servitude!" He wiggles his eyebrows "But, yknow, if ya wanted ta spend a week a' quality time with me, ya didn't need ta make any bet, COULDA' JUST ASKED!" and is barely able to get through the sentence without barking out hideous laughter.
Bastardos quickly tosses his rum over the side. He's beat to shit and can barely stand, let alone down some of that poison. He prepares to curl up in his cot and die forever, but the fight seems interesting enough to hold his attention a little longer. He slides up to the crowd and croaks for all to hear; "Aye, I spent some time wit'is land lubber, and I'm tellin' ya, owl bear got 'im beat! I'm layin' down A HUNDRED GOLD that owlbear'll mop the floor with that Machete! Which onneya's gonna take me up on that!?"
Sorry for late reply, just being tardy. Gotta step it up.
Already worn down from his previous evening of scrubbing the deck, Bastardos slides out of bed, sitting on the floor with his leg out. Slumped up against his hammock's post, he paws the pack at the end of his bunk blindly several times, finally grabbing his eyepatch, and affixing his false leg. He barely manages to stand back up and hobble to the stairs, muttering something under his breath as he rubs the sleep out of his eye. "Nar. This inn' happenin' t'day"
Bastardos heads towards the stairs leading to the deck with the others, hanging back a bit as they go. As they head up before him to start the day, he fakes out and crawls through the crack in the stairs instead of climbing them with his friends, where he does his best to stay hidden and catch a few more Z's.
I think I may have just gotten Jape keelhauled. :/
Bastardos slips back to the door, and enters the Quartermaster's store. His eyes dart straight to his alchemy kit. His hands tremble a bit, as he painfully pulls his eyes away from his actual favorite thing. "Not yet, Bastardos... They'll know it was you!" He is going to try and pull some less conspicuous items off the shelves. perception checks:
Bastardos leaves the room, looking down at the keys in his hook-like hand. 'Damn, these 'tings is hot" he says.
Bastardos tries to hide the keys in the belongings of Jaundiced Jape before going to sleep.
Bastardos enters the quartermaster's cabin, and attempts to lift the keys off her person.
Bastardos slips back dwn to the bildges, hiding his rum in an empty barrel for later use. "F~$%in' ridiculous, they expect me, a Kobold my soize, ta drink all-a 'at! I'll figure out a better use fer it!"
Bastardos sulks when he receives his items. Amara, bending down and assuring him that he would owe her one, actually offered a glimmer of hope, despite the tone. But when Grok shut them down, his face and tone soured. he looked up and hissed at Amara "I don' owe you a bloody thing!" He looks to Grok, still sour and angry, but now with a very matter of fact tone; "And I didn't THREAT'N ta blow up tha ship! THERE'S A DIFF'RENCE 'TWEEN A THREAT AND A PROMISE!" He shouts and storms away. He leaves the room, out of sight, for about six seconds before peeking his head back around the corner, angrily shouting "I AM VERY ANGRY RIGHT NOW! YA STILL LOOK LOVELY, THE MOSS' BEUTIFUL 'ALF ORC ON THE SEA!" his tone is very unfitting of his compliment's re-affirmation, as he ducks his head back out of the room. He's gone for about another five or six seconds, before poking his head back in and shouting "THIS DUNN' MEAN I'M NOT GONNA BLOW UP THA SHIP! I'WLL STILL BE DOIN' THAT! JUST WANTED TA MAKE SURE YA KNEW MY ANGER 'BOUT THE SITT'ATION DID NOT AFFECT MY GEN'INE AFFECTION FER YA!" It would be hard to take him seriously as he leaves the room, again, but there is clearly a threatening nature to his tone when he mentions blowing up the ship. That evening Bastardos spends his time vigorously scrubbing rat guts off the deck, muttering to himself as every scheme he cooked up that day either failed or backfired.
Bastardos curses under his breath as his scheme backfires. He approaches the biggest, burliest, dumbest-looking swab in sight - Jaundiced Jape.
"Oi! Jape! Scourge's orders are ta scrub this deck, 'till he can see his face in it! He's givin' me a break, on account of I took car'v'a rats already!"
"And don't bother Scourge with'ss! He's too busy fer yer shit, 'swhy he sent me, ay mate!?"
Bastardos approaches the counter for the Quartermaster, doing his best to peer over it. "GROK! Vision of loveliness! OH! How your tusks capta' the light-a-th' moon! He lays his hands on the counter, and puts on a more serious expression "Look, Scourge said we can 'ave som'v our 'tings back... Iff'n it weren't so much troubl, I'd like my aelchmy kit back."
"I killed oll th' rats just as you asked! Aheh, sorry it took a-while! Bastardos makes a sweeping motion to the rest of the party on deck while addressing Scourge."These fine crew mates agreed ta help me carry e'm up deck, y'see! Aye, they're a foine bunch!" He turns to look at the group, a sickening grin on his face "Thanks fer all yer help, lads'n'lasses, bot I think I can handle things from e're on!"
Bastardos is there to greet Machete with a side-eye glance and a sly grin. He has his pilfered rat slung over his shoulder; it looks like a large, hairy duffel bag relative to the small Kobold's size. He throws the rat onto the main deck in front of Scourge "G'day masta' Scourge!"
Are we waiting on anyone? If nobody sees me do the thing, I'd like to push on.
Bastardos is up to nothing at all, why wouldn't anyone trust that dashing renegade!?
While the human is busy searching the bilges, Bastardos carefully backs away and drags one of the rats up the ladder.
Hello, I am new. I am excited to be playing with you guys. This character should be fun.
"Was grabbed there few weeks back by some poirate thugs; ain't really here by choice, mate. 'Bout a week a go, cap'n sent me down here ta the bildges ta deal with the rat problem. I been stuck in 'at barrel since, on accounta' the rats I mean. If you lot never showed up, I'd-a been on the menu by now!"
He nods with a friendly smile at Amara's introduction. Bastardos' eye greedily focuses on Amara after her speech. "WELL! I can't protect ya, but I can certainly scratch yer back, iff'n ya catch my meaning!" "Quartermaster has my alch'my kit under lock'n'key! help me get it back, and I can brew ya potions... poisons... his grin widens with a wild glint in his eye, his claws clicking together to suppresses a diabolical excitement "... explosives?" He can't help but giggle.
The kobold stumbles out of the barrel, losing his footing on a peg-leg, and hitting the deck. He rights himself quickly and responds nonchalantly, pretending he didn't just shit the bed in front of his crew mates. "Stowaway!? Nar, I'm parta th' crew... sort of." he looks away, his expression momentarily becoming more serious and mutters to himself "Crikey, they pro'lly think I'm dead by now!" He snaps back to reality, and back into his toothy smile, extending his intact hand to the human in front of him "Name's Guzzuld! Bastardos Guzzuld; dema'litions expe't." that last part elicits a cruel snicker as he goes to shake the man's hand.
Two miniature hands slowly rise out of the barrel. One hand holds only a thumb and an index finger, misshapen into a crude claw. One beady, reptilian eye follows the hands up as a very small, red-orange Kobold peeks over the rim, grinning like an idiot. "A'llo!" he says with a shit-eating grin on his face. The left side of his face is badly scarred; Sporting an eye patch, a torn lip, and one horn short of a pair. "I didn't mean no 'arm, mate, was just admoirin' yer, uh- he pauses to snicker "-heeheheh... 'Andiwork!" His voice is rough, deep for a kobold of his size and filled with a shrill gravel, as his accent oozes out of him "See? I ain't nuthin' ta be scared of! Now why don't we, uh, point that clubbah elsewhere, and make some propah' intra-duct'ns!" |