Attilles's page

20 Gruumidor
It all started in the war room of my camp (awesome little wall of stone built fortress), Skrak one of my goblin followers was describing the city of Goma and the Great Temple of Gonda there.
Zebulon came into the war to tell me he had developed a new medical technique that would enable me to survive the birth of Tiamat (yay!!) he called it a Z-Section. The Z-section involves someone shrinking down to a small enough size and then using the shadow walk ability to enter the birthing cavity through the shadow plane. Once inside Zebulon would sever the umbilical cord and carry the Tiny Tiamat out of the birthing cavity through the shadow plane. Tiamat is born and I get to live sounds great right. Well just wait because it’s not, but we decided this was the best course of action to follow.
I led the party (Attilles, Diriaz (Assassin/brother), Cerda (cleric of Glitch based on Zelda), Ryn (Ranger with the dragonslayer archetype based on Link of Ocarina of Time fame), Zebulon (an Arcanist street performer (David Copperfield type magic shows)) and Edric Grimtower (my cohort) up to Goma and to the temple of Tiamat (greater teleport for the win). Outside the temple Zebulon, Cerda and Ryn (Cerda’s cohort based off the Hero of Time) had to disguise themselves since they weren’t followers of Tiamat, Cerda and Ryn ducked off into an alley and put together a couple of really, really bad disguises so I sent them back to “Try again, and don’t embarrass yourselves this time.” They did much better on the second disguise attempt and we went into the temple.
As we walked into the temple I spread my wings and took to the air (the ceiling was a couple feet high) and started spitting fire to let everyone know what was going on. The temple broke out in cheers and cries of “The chosen one has arrived” (easily the warmest welcome I’ve ever received in a church or temple). After several minutes of flying and fire breathing I landed and met the high preists of the Tiamatian Trinity we discussed the Z-section and began making preparations for the birth. Cerda wandered off at this point to further “help” prepare for the birthing process.
Cerda entered the birthing chamber, bluffed her way into being accepted as a higher priest brought in to assist and proceeded to make the single worst mistake of her life. She placed a symbol of sleep at the top of the stairs leading into the birthing pool. The birthing pool provided fast regeneration to Tiamat's followers, was about 20 feet in diameter and was supported by statues of different metallic dragons.

21 Gruumidor
Oh day of days today is the day we are going to do the Z-section! It’s going to be amazing. I’m going to survive and Tiamat’s going to be here, whoo. No. As soon as I step over the invisible symbol of sleep it activates and most of the goblins in the room were put to sleep, the high priests were furious and began divining the answers.
Zebulon undeterred began working on the Z-section and shadow walked into my birthing cavity.
Pontifex Magnus Tigard declared the divinations revealed “A metallic has appeared in the rainbow”. Zebulon by this point was already inside the birthing cavity and quickly severed the umbilical cord. I was getting ready to greet my Dark Queen when it happened…
Zebulon cast Phantasmal Killer, Tiamat got PISSED!
I started trying to teleport immediately but initiative being what it is, I didn’t get to teleport out of the way until after Zebulon got his shit ruined by tiny Tiamat. Utterly ruined. All that’s left of that chump is his hand and when I find a way to forcibly resurrect him he will suffer a proper fate for interfering with my Queen’s plan, but that’s a story for another post.
As soon as I tele’d Cerda decided to try destroying Tiamat, but that failed too (Tiamat barely made the save. Cerda needed 120 damage to take Tiny Tiamat down, but TT only took 36 damage so she didn’t really care).
Cerda was absolutely f#*%ing ruined by Pontifex Magnus Tigard immediately following her ill-conceived plan to attempt to stop me from bringing forth this bundle of badass.
Seconds later Diriaz killed Cerda’s cohort (who was based off the hero of time, Link). Diriaz killed Ryn with the sword of Ashardalon so the hero of time aint coming back unless Ashardalon gets bored with soul of a chump who dared raise his hands against our Dark Queen.
The battle was over and the birth was completed…
Or so I thought, Tiamat had other plans though and jumped right back into my birthing cavity and reattached her umbilical cord with an ominous warning for me: “I’m hungry”. At this point I decided to stop having ideas around her and just let Tiamat do whatever Tiamat wanted to do. She decided I would not leave that birthing pool until after she did.

22 Gruumidor
Tiamat had been tiny up to this point, but she grew to small this day. Oh glorious day.

23-24 Gruumidor
More growth, more waiting in the pool. She grew to medium size and I had to stay in Form of The Dragon II. Normally I only have enough castings of the spell to maintain dragon form for ~70 minutes per day but three high priests of dragon gods have some sway in making dragon magic last longer…

25 - 28 Gruumidor
Continuous growth, Tiamat grew to large and then huge size while I stayed in the pool in dragon form (eventually switched to Form of the Dragon III and it ended up with permanency—high priest of Tiamat, Ashardalon and Ephemelon are really really good at dragon magic man). I began feeling that I would not survive the ordeal and begged Tiamat to let me go hunting just once as a “true” dragon. She declined my request and so I sat whining in the birthing pool for a few more days.

29 Gruumidor
Diriaz was growing restless and decided to go visit our homeland, I let him borrow my dragon ball (Orb of Void Dragonkind) so he wouldn’t get himself rofl-stomped. This was a poor choice, its bonus to my fort save was all that was keeping me from being really really sad. Diriaz was still holding the dragon ball when Tiamat thrashed about it hurt really bad (I could use the orb’s save once because of kin guardian trait), but I had to make 2 saves in a row, after the second save failed I began crying and screaming hysterically for the dragonball. Diriaz gave it back and I spent the rest of the day clutching it to my chest crying and wishing I had never asked for this. Me and my f@!&ing mouth…
Tiamat at this point was freaking huge (so I guess I’m a closer-to-gargantuan-than-large huge dragon).

30 Gruumidor
Finally oh day of days for real this time. The thrashing and raging about inside the birthing cavity was absolutely unbearable the last day (I had taken 6 negative levels of energy drain from Tiamat sucking away my life). I barely made one of the Fort saves (36 on a DC 35 what up) and managed to survive because I’m immune to fire damage (red dragon) and cold damage (void dragon orb) with 12 hp left. Yeah 12.
Tiamat burst forth, I’m not sure what she did as I collapsed into the pool until I was fully recovered (several hours later).
When I recovered from the physical wounds of the ordeal I left the pool, took to wing and went hunting.
As a huge red dragon. Yay.

Ok I have the post all typed up and mostly ready to go I sent it to the GM and other players to make sure I was accurate and complete in the report I want to make sure you guys don't miss out on any of this story.

Once I have their notes/suggestions incorporated I will post the story here in all its glory.

Its probably because he needed a new campaign boss, one of the party members (now deceased shouldn't have stepped up like that poor guy) turned the previous campaign boss into a brothel with the rod of wonder.

Also there's a war breaking out between Bahamut and Tiamat so Tiamat needed an aspect on the planet and I had an item that might let a medium creature give birth to a huge dragon, so that's probably why.

Also I'm typing up the post still (I've been busy since the game ended) and I'm taking my time so I do this right, I took copious notes and will have the post up sometime tonight.

I (a lawful evil male half elf 14th level cross blooded arcane draconic sorcerer) proclaimed that, "I wanna hook up with Tiamat because Tiamat is the coolest of all dragons. I would have her babies."

My GM took this literally and so now I am carring Tiamat's baby, I have been warned by another goddess (Glitch she covers fate and prophecy and such. Zzzzzzzzzzz.) that the birth of this child will kill me (something about being an anatomical male and having no way for the baby to get out).

This goddess is neutral so there's really no reason not to trust her, but at the same time maybe she's just a little too neutral. As the wizened 25 Star General Zapp Branigan will like to say in about 1000 years, "With enemies you where they stand, but with neutrals? Who knows!?"

Anyway, how do I get this baby out of me with out dying in the process.

The only two things I can think of are a spell to change my gender and increase my size or this idea a mighty mage I know (Zebulon the Great and Powerful) of shrinking a small creature to fine size having them teleport in and teleport back out with the baby.

I really don't want to die, but this baby is going to be born, someone made a joke about aborting it and a glass broke in the room instantly. So yeah Tiamat's actually interested in this one. Help.