Ansem, Seeker of Darkness's page

*Appears before the Disney Villain Council, more Heartless surrounding him.*

My sincerest apologies for my long absence, the darkness wasn't strong enough.

*Views the strip malls with great interest. Senses a potent amount of darkness.*

These are magnificent, practical and useful for gaining hearts, also...

*Summons an exquisite pair of scissors, the kind GoatToucher likes.*

If GoatToucher is unable to make an appearance, I would gladly do the honours.

Master Xehanort wrote:

gran rey de los nekkid wrote:

Final Fantasy games summarized:

Final Fantasy: Four heroes break a time loop.
Final Fantasy 2: Star Wars, but the Emperor dies and then comes back as the devil, and then dies and comes back as god, and then gets killed by Obi Wan.
Final Fantasy 3: Four orphans fight a man who threw a hissy fit over his inheritance.
Final Fantasy 4: Star Wars, but the Emperor is a space ghost on the moon.
Final Fantasy 5: Evil Giving Tree and his gay lover fight a confused harem protagonist and his princesses.
Final Fantasy 6: Star Wars, but the Emperor is killed and replaced by the Joker halfway through. Also, racism is bad.
Final Fantasy 7: Eco-terrorists recruit man with padded resumé, discover corporate greed has caused giant meteor to be elected, hold recount.
Final Fantasy 8: A group of cadets find out that they all lived at the same orphanage. Amnesia to blame. Lead character may be dead.
Final Fantasy 9: Star Wars, but the main characters are all either clones or princesses.
Final Fantasy 10: Daddy Issues, the Real Sports Story, with special guest Christian Guilt Complex.
Final Fantasy 11: Giraffe and friends stop the writer from erasing the game.
Final Fantasy 12: Star Wars, but half the bad guys aren't actually that bad. Except for Judge Bergen. That guy's a dick.
Final Fantasy 13: Being the chosen one will kill your dating life.
Final Fantasy 14: Heroes save the world from bad gameplay, bugs.
Final Fantasy 15: Bachelor party goes very wrong.

No one's fantasy: Me nekkid.

Very impressive, let's see how well you can summarise Kingdom Hearts.

All Kingdom Hearts games" Throw a bunch of random Disney stuff together. Hit things with a key because swords are too violent. Also, "Kairi's inside me?".

Yes, that really is it, isn't it? Still, it somehow works.