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Aw, man. And I was hoping not to have to work. You damned Pathfinders are going to make this hard on me, aren't you?
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Yes, keep up the discussion about the person of no consequence at the beginning of the scenario. I'll just wait. No big deal.
You don't want to succeed at this adventure, really. Let the cultists do their thing. Wouldn't it be nicer just to sit at home over the long holiday off from work and just watch TV or play XBox or something? You really want to move about and have fun? Really? All to stop some cultists from their ... totally not evil plans?
Aw, really? What's up with this "getting things out early?" thing? I'd complain if I could gather the motivation to do so.
Instead of making suppositions about what I look like and my inner personality, why not do me a favor and get me a sponge bath. It's been millennia since I last received a thorough scrubbing. My flesh folds are starting to smell like week-old gouda. Mmmm, and now I'm getting hungry. Who wants to cook me a hot pocket?
I do, however, invite continued calls for my return to writing, or angry mobs banging on Paizo's doors. Yeah, Paizo! Let this Shel guy write something for you. Better him than you, right? I mean, think of all the video games and television you'll miss out on if you have to write things yourself!
Wrath?! Bah. Too much work. I'll let you guys handle this one. If not, Meepo will face my sloth!
I'd totally post more if I could get off my ass to do so.
Dear AaS, Some time ago, I ruled over a large estate which employed many servants who were excellent at doing things for me. I have a feeling that your ancestors may have even been among the most skilled. In the recent years, my holdings have significantly dwindled both in size and stature and I wish to recapture some of my former way of life. What do you think is the easiest way for me to get some Shoanti to help out about the house? I'm not really into searching for hirelings, but if you can suggest a way to get them to come to me (and then never leave) I would certainly appreciate it. How about you? I see a bright future in gardening for one as bright as you! Whaddaya say?! Lazily, Haruka Hiring (Apply Within)
Sorry for the delay here, but I'd sort of like to be president. Now THAT'S a cushy job. Just think of all those minions to do my bidding... So vote for me. Cause I certainly won't get off my ass to vote for anyone else.
Aha. OK, now I know where the bug is.... Uh, since you're doing that ... "work ... can you awaken my minion, Gary? I'd rouse him myself, but would rather not walk across the room. Thanks, PostMonster! Spoiler: I'm hiring minions, by the way. Your knowledge of the boards' code would be invaluable in our plotting.
Master... I... [faints with exhaustion] You are not permitted to rest. Relaxation and sleep are for those in power! Wake up or suffer the consequences. I don't want to be forced to set my other minions on you with their pieces of paper...
* That reminds me, Runelord of Greed. Nice gambling operation you had going on that barge near Turtleback Ferry. I was passing through the area the other day and happened to drop in to see how your minion was doing. Lamia Matriarch by the name of Lucrecia, right?Yeah, a way to simultaneously resurrect myself and make profit. Probably my best plan to date. Didn't go as planned, though, did it? Best to just lay low ... permanently and get what you can with the least possible effort. No use overextending yourself, eh? Roguerouge, bring me my bag of Runecheetos!
Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.
The question remains if I am still dead, undead, reanimated, reincarnated, or just resurrected. I vote for you being annoying. Stop yer yappin' and let me sleep! Get the rest of these six, seven or however many there are to take over Paizo and let me know when it's done. You'll be compensated for your work. Can you scratch my foot there? I don't want to reach for it.
I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again. It had better be. I started this one and I ain't movin' from this spot. Can one of you be good Runelords and smite the rest of these threads that I have to scan through to find this one? That scroll wheel on my mouse takes a ton of work for my lazy fingers. Your BFF,
Yes, master.... See, all of you other Runelords are busy running around and doing things, and I'm the first one to get a minion. I rest my case, and for that matter, I rest everything, especially myself. Going back to sleep now. Your friend and ruler, Sloth
I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again. Well I ain't movin' so this is the capital. 'Nuff said.
The last time I counted, there were EIGHT schools of magic, and all the rest of you just tell yourselves that Divination's not worth focussing on. Hah. It doesn't stop you from dabbling in the school to further your own goals. Naturally, a master of Divination knows the best way to hide oneself away until a suitable moment to return arises. Well, maybe you should talk to Lissala about that. She did, after all, give us only seven virtues of rule, which were convenient enough to manipulate into Sin Magic. Sorry to be the one to have his slave tell you this on his behalf, but Divination is for pussies. It was left out for a reason. If it can't be associated with a sin, it just doesn't make the cut. Now get out of my way, you're blocking the tv.
Sloth has other people feed him. Why lift a finger when you can get the same results without having to do so yourself?
Aye!WTF? I'm on your side you freaking ingrate. I am all about unequal distributions of resources. Someone has to be rich, why not you? We'll just take whatever that lazy SOB slothlord has - he won't even notice. Hey, could someone hand me the nacho dip? And get my mail. This infomercial on exercise machines is too grueling for me to consider actually getting up and moving. I'd appreciate any help I can get. And I'll throw you some bound demons and such when the invasion happens. Deal?
Alright, here is the remote. But you have to promise to be productive from now on. I will productively watch only five minutes of any given program at a time. And get my feet rubbed by one of my many servants. That's what you meant, right? Oh, and can someone get me another beer?
Afterwards, I suggest that we domesticate the post-eating bug and train it to control the flow of information. I'm all for diversion of flows. As long as it can flow right by my comfy chair within arm's reach, I'll take it. Still waiting for that remote. It's right there! Just out of arm's reach. C'mon. Someone wants to help me with this. I know it. Pride? Envy? Anyone?
I blame Gluttony. He's supposed to be in charge of Necromancy. Enough with the bickering and finger-pointing. I didn't put forth excessive effort to start this group just to fight amongst ourselves. How shall we go about destroying Paizo.com? You're the men (and women) of action, so get crackin'! And I'm still waiting for someone to pass me the remote.
All of you shut up and get back to work! Uh, yeah. You know that "work" and I don't get along so well together. I'll gladly watch everyone else do it. Plus, aren't you dead?
Lust, I need a massage. If you can get that knot right there by the small of my back, that'd be perfect. Just don't block the fan. I need cool air blown across my bulbous form more than I need rubbing.
Yeah, uh, Wrath? While you're yelling about whatever can you hand me the remote? It's too far to reach and I'd like to be able to turn the volume up to drown out your rage. Can't you take it out on someone else? Go kill some of Greed's minions.
I would have known what to do, but you guys took all the cool titles, first. Why can't I be in charge for once? I think you will find that the most benefit comes from exerting the least amount of effort. Being in control requires you to do so much woooork. Let those with the energy do all the heavy lifting and enjoy the spoils. Since you all won't be in need of them for a while, can I have some of your slaves? I need a nice backrub, someone to fan me, and could really use a tender hand to feed me dates.
Lazy lout. If you had any drive, your realm would be larger than it is, rather than relying upon your forebearers accomplishments, such as they were. I may spend all my time on the couch, but it's certainly more productive than spending it in bed. Are we going to fight, or take over this measly little website?
I don't really feel like starting this, but I figured we should all get together and rule this place already? Anyone wanna start the takeover while I sit here and direct things? |