The pair looks confused, "The Cage? Were you prisoners? Why would we want to go there? We went to check Angelica's old barn, she thought she heard a pack of goblins in there, and we found ourselves on these stairs. We got a little lost."
As the halfling's possessed hand slaps him across the face, Khikril straightens, his eyes seeming to glaze over as if he is rechecking a complex set of calculations in his head... or he's simply gone completely insane - it's hard to tell with the eccentric strix. The mention of the barn seems to resonate with him, and his eyes light up as he refocuses on the halfling and the hand with a mind of its own. "A barn, you say? Tell me, was this barn particularly archetypical in any way? Say, for instance, was it the metaphysical purity of the concept of 'barn?' As of twelve seconds ago, I am in the process of developing a hypothesis that any such archetypical locations may serve as conduits to the Staircase here - after all, if it connects to every possible world, what of the worlds with inhabitants unwilling to or incapable of using stairs? No, there must be a multiversal zeitgeist of the concept of 'stair!'"
The itaraak scientist begins to pace back and forth on the stairs again, seemingly working his way into a half-mad frenzy for the second time in as many minutes. "No, no, to return to your own plane, you must travel in an adjacent metaphysical direction, leaving this endless stairwell into a sort of... Barn Between Worlds - no, it would be called the Eternal Barnscape! There, you will probably face at least somewhere between three and infinite fiendish challenges, such as overdone rake jokes, hyperdimensional cows, and dairy products - but if you emerge victorious, you will return to your home Gatescape as the Omnidimensional Lords of the Metaphysical Essence of Barn!" He stops his pacing, looking contemplatively at the strange halfling paladin. "Or you could try going up a landing and checking to see if any of the Gatescape doors lead to your homeworld. I like my idea better, though."
Unthre and Yuliya back away slowly from Skee, ”Uh, yeah, sure, whatever you say. We’ll try that.” He nods his head while she waves at the rest of the party, ”We’re gonna go now. Uh, good luck.”
"Great, now he thinks we're crazy." Nik sighs after waving bye to the halfling.
"Oh well. Let's go deliver that package and see if we have to fight a Tanar'ri or not. I still think we should've fed it to the Bebelith, I'm sure those two problems could've solved each other."
A Fiend’s Crooked Smile
You ascend the staircase further and find the most twisted and wrecked portion of the stairs yet. A portion of a wood and iron staircase was twisted and bent until it became a crooked chamber of bent metal and broken boards. Hanging in the open chamber is a young woman strung up on an improvised meat hook. Strips of skin have been pulled off her body recklessly and a look of pain and horror has been frozen into her dead face. Below the woman is the hulking form of a glabrezu tanar’ri soundly asleep.
Beyond the wrecked chamber and upwards is the platform the stair once connected to. It still hangs in the air, whatever supports platforms on the Infinite Staircase still holds it up though it is no longer connected.
"Hey guys! Wait a second! Especially Skee's minder. Also Jek." Nik hisses.
"We don't want to load up those stairs or they'll probably break. Maybe a short ton might do it." he explains in a whisper.
Nik then hesitates to speak further, wondering if that might actually be a good idea.
Nik doesn't know what will happen to the broken stairs if left to their own devices. He has heard rumors of the sounds of construction on distant parts of the staircase however.
He knows that the fall won't kill the glabrezu even if it lands in the worst possible way. It would be able to either use its greater teleport or reverse gravity abilities to potentially negate it falling, assuming it knows the keys to make those spells work.
"Hey Rinika, I don't think it'll die from getting dropped. Wanna send him on a one way trip to Cuddles' place? As long as it's out doors, that should get him in the dead book." Nik suggests.
"We don't want to load up those stairs or they'll probably break. Maybe a short ton might do it."
"What if I just hop up the stairs on one hoof?"
Rinika sniffs at the air a bit, considering Nik's suggestion. She sweats a little bit. But the payoff if she's successful seems like it might be worth the risk...
"Well, I can try. Let me see what I can do."
She backs off a bit and casts a few preparatory spells before heading in.
"What if I just hop up the stairs on one hoof?"
"And who pulls you up if you slip from pushing too hard?"
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The tanar'ri dies as Rinika stabs it in the eye, straight through to its brain which immediately turns to dust.
Below the strung up body you find a mess of destoyed armor, weapons, and rended flesh. You manage to recover 124 gp and 67 sp that spilled when a purse was torn.
Rinika drifts back to the group, patting her paws clean.
"Glabrezu handled. Now let's find that guy!"
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"Oh?" Jek looks at dead tanar'ri with surprise. "If you weren't so friendly, that'd be terrifying..."
He stares at the stairs and then at the upper platform. "Will these just repair themselves now or do we have a way to do that? I really wish I could just fly up there."
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At Jek's words, Khikril, who had been eagerly sketching in his notebook until that point, looks up, his onyx eyes widening. "Idea! Idea! Give me a minute, I have to invent something." Pulling his coil of rope from the backpack hanging awkwardly off his golem's frame, he busies himself tying his feet together, glancing up at his golem as he realizes a possible flaw with his plan. "Oh, right. X-302, hold position - don't go tumbling off into the void just because you're trying to follow me!" Having successfully restrained himself, he hops over to Jek, his wings fluttering to help him keep his balance, and hands him the other end of the rope. "Behold! The Experimental Gatescape Safety Device for Tethering Explorers to Solid Objects! You hold one end, and I'll fly up to the platform, and if I get sucked into some temporal vortex or left behind in a three-dimensional world-slice, you can pull me back! Even if reality got folded here, there should still be enough of a metadynamical stability vector to allow me to fly along where the Staircase used to be. Look at this bit where I tied my feet together - even if my body gets bisected vertically by one of those razor vortices from that short entity's Gatescape, you can still reel back in enough of me to get reanimated!"
Hopping over to the edge of the platform, he takes wing, flying up towards the disconnected Staircase platform above with powerful beats of his wings. As he glides through the strange, twisted space between the platforms, he periodically taps the side of his eyepiece, convinced (though how he became convinced of this is a mystery) that the magnifying device is some sort of magical communication object with a direct link to the rest of the party. "Beginning first expedition into interdimensional space! This place is amazing - it goes on forever - and - by the ancestor spirits! - it's full of... wait, wait, just a minute..." Taking off his eyepiece, he breaths on it, rubbing at it with the sleeve of his robe before putting it back on. "Okay, never mind. I really need to clean this thing more often."
Skee flies up towards the platform with great ease dispite his bound limbs. When he can see the top of the platform he finds an old man cowering in fear. He wears a long pink robe and has a greybeard. He wears a silver amulet around his neck which he reflexively clutches. The greybeard's eyes go wide and yells, "You won't put me in the dead book without a fight fiend!"
Skee is 20ft away from the man next to the door for this platform. The door has a reddish hue and a sense of dread eminates from it. The rest of the party is a 50ft flight away from Skee.
"Did he say fiend?" Nik asks, digging for gold in one ear.
Nik shouts up through cupped hands.
Jek takes out a chakram.
Khikril's eyes widen as he spots the wizard huddling in the corner of the platform. "OH! Greetings, unidentified Gatescape entity! Is that a robe, or does your skin have the physical properties of textiles? Are you friends with that glabrezu we just killed? Did you get up here using the EGSDTESO with the metadynamical stability vector, too?"
As he processes the strange mage's aggressive actions, he squawks in alarm, taking wing again and flying frantically in a circle. He does his best to stay mobile, not letting the strange greybeard attack him.
The man yells out, He pulls out small stone with one hand and a pinch of some material in the other.
"Maybe just pull him down?" Nik suggests.
At the wizard's words, Khikril pulls up short mid-flight, giving a sideways blink as he takes in the new information. After a moment, he lands at the edge of the platform again, grinning as though nothing had just happened. "You're Trascalia? Sorry about all that - I'm actually taxonomically an itaraak, not a tanar'ri. My friends and I actually have a package for you - we're the... um... hold on." He peers over the edge of the landing, waving to Jek down below.
"Jek, may I?" Rinika extends a paw to him for the scroll case and lifts off the ground, not yet particularly cognizant of the danger.
"Yeah, don't worry about that glabrezu, he's in the deadbook now! You really got yourself out here, Trascalia. What brought ya? You feelin' okay?"
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Jek puts the chakram away and takes the package out.
He hands it to Rinika.
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Rinika will fly the scroll case (most of the way) up.
"Delivery, my good sir."
Oriam’s panic turns to confusion when Rinika hands him the package, ”I… uh… Jek’s Free-Lance Delivery?” He opens it up absentmindedly while saying, ”Shavanistra, my ex, bobbed me. She wanted to rekindle our romance, get away from the Guild, and well she tried to kill me with that fiend when we were alone. She’s completely barmy, I should have known better.”
He looks at his delivery and begins laughing, ”It’s a recipe for a potion. Fyn, you saved me. Listen ca-,” he keeps an eye on Skee, ”n you help me back to the Planewalker’s Guild? I don’t know that I could walk there in my state.”
He sets down a bandoleer of potions and a pouch of jink, ”Please take this as a reward for saving me. How did you even find me?”
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Xibalba stretches, beaming up at her companions ascending to their rattled delivery recipient. The giant djinn nods to Jek before floating up to join them.
"A sadful tale you share, but allow us to counter with one of victory. Thy wizard self was found through courage, guile, and a smidge-ish of backtracking. Foe-folk were banishedwise with vigorous violence and magics. We-beings heartily accepten your array of colorful juices."
Less than gracefully, but no less dutifully she gathers the potions with the approval of her wardens to distribute. She hungrily eyes one of the greenish liquid flasks, a whisper of a hope in her heart held out that it tasted of apple.
Looks like we can at least fly where the stairs were. I wonder if that guy can get down by himself...
Nik yells up.
Nik scratches his cheek as he looks at the 'colorful juices'.
"Hand me one of each, thanks Xibalba. I'll take a closer look later."
Rinika shrugs. "Sure, you can tag along. We found ya, well, partially because of Shavy. Although she did say the Glabrezu was yours and tried to get us to kill you both. You really had a falling out, didn't ya? She's probably still down there, her and her...uh...sisters. In her head, yeah? What happened between ya? Might need to deal with her. Or hide ya, when we slip past."
She picks at her teeth with a claw. "You packed and ready? Oh, and do you know any halflings and their hand-wives?"
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”n you help me back to the Planewalker’s Guild? I don’t know that I could walk there in my state.”
"Sure we can. I.. uh... I" Jek coughs. "have a saddle if you're having trouble walking. Are you hungry?"
Oriam stalls for a minute thinking, ”We should let her be. I have some cutters that can try and retrieve her later, maybe manage to get her to the Bleakers. If she didn’t attack you I could turn invisible, that should give her the laugh.”
His eyes go distant for a bit, ”Luckily it couldn’t get to me. I was afraid it was just saving me for later. The screams lasted for hours…” He doesn’t finish his sentence but finally adds, ”If you can carry me, please do. I’ll hit the blinds if I try by myself.” He greedily eats and drinks anything offered to him.
He swallows clearly uncomfortable with it, ”Are you able to fly across? Just be careful to tread a path as close as possible to where the stairs should be.”
"I can. Them too." Rinika motions lazily to Khikril and Xibalba. "And I'm all for not fighting. She was polite enough I guess, but definitely barmy. Can you turn invisible yourself? If not, I've got ya."
"Hey, Jek, he doesn't seem to be coming down; and I get the feeling that Xibalba doesn't do flight for other people. Here." Nik explains before casting Fly on his 6 limbed friend.
"Oh and you look a little burnt from those stupid melty manes." He adds as he also pulls out a rod to cast an extended Infernal Healing on him too.
"Also, can you see if you can carry that glabrazu corpse? I wanna see if I can do anything with it later. If not, don't worry about it. It might be too big for me to raise anyway."
before this post
Items with limited uses per day
. 1/3 Lesser Rod of Metamagic, Extend
Supernatural Abilities
. (1 at a time) Corpse Companion
. 11/11 rounds Life Sight (10' range blindsight (to detect and differentiate between living and undead creatures only))
. 10/10 Power Over Undead (30' burst; DC 19 will)
Spell-like Abilities
. 10/10 Bolster (Undead) (+3 profane on attacks and saves; 1 temp hp/HD; +2 turn resistance; 5 round duration)
. 0/1 Pyrotechnics (DC 14)
Spells Prepared:
. 6th (2+1/day) Curse, Major (DC 23) (S), Disintegrate (DC 23), Disintegrate (DC 23)
. 5th (3+1/day) Possession (S), Undead Anatomy II, Shadow Evocation, Wall of Force
. 4th (4+1/day) Enervation (S), Black Tentacles, Dimension Door, Flaming Sphere, Greater (DC 22; +1 CL), Summon Monster 4
. 3rd (6+1/day) Vampiric Touch (S), Appearance of Life (DC 20), Fireball (DC 20), Fly, Haste, Haste, Tiny Hut
. 2nd (6+1/day) Command Undead (DC 19) (S), Blur, Flaming Sphere (DC 20; +1 CL), Glitterdust (DC 19), Levitate, Mirror Image, Resist Energy (+1 CL)
. 1st (6+1/day) Ray of Enfeeblement (DC 18) (S), Feather Fall, Grease (DC 18), Infernal Healing, Infernal Healing, Infernal Healing, Warp Sense (+1 CL)
. cantrips (at will) Detect Magic (+1 CL), Ghost Sound (DC 15), Mending (+1 CL), Prestidigitation
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Khikril beams as the mage accepts the delivery. "Excellent, excellent! Never fear, Oriam, we'll get you back to the Guild landing in safety - just another one of the excellent services from Jek's Free-Lance Delivery!" Realizing himself, he blinks, clearing his throat. "I'm not Jek, by the way. He's the bariaur around... oh, about fifty feet directly below this platform." He peers over the edge, amending his statement as he sees Nik casting a flight spell on Jek. "Forty-five. And closing."
Rallying, he takes wing, flying closer to Oriam and clamping his talons on the mage's shoulders. "But don't worry - I'll get you down! I... um..." The itaraak's wings beat madly, but he fails to lift Oriam as intended, and he lets go, tilting his head at the mage. "Krevaar, how much are you carrying? If I didn't know better, I'd swear your bones weren't hollow!"
At Rinika's words, the excitable strix raises his eyebrows in concern, glancing at Oriam. "Invisibility? No, no, no - the shadow assassin lady and her sisters have special assassin senses - they can see into additional dimensions! If they find out we're smuggling Oriam, they'll pluck out our eyelids!" He turns his panicked gaze on Rinika. "I like my eyelids, Rinika! Granted, the left nictitating one a bit less than the other three, but still! They can beat other people's eyelids in a fight because of their numerical advantage, and I can't lose that!"
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"Also, can you see if you can carry that glabrazu corpse? I wanna see if I can do anything with it later. If not, don't worry about it. It might be too big for me to raise anyway."
Jek takes a moment to marvel as his hooves no longer need to be on the ground. "This is perfect Nik!" He beams. He starts to tilt back and forth joyously, but the shifting loads clearly make him nervous. Thinking better of it, he unstraps his heavy backpack and barrel leaving them next to Nik. "Don't let anyone wander off with these..."
He first twirls all the way toward the glabrezu. He collects it and anything by it and brings it all down to Nik. "Your delivery, Nik! Are we going to need a bigger barrel?!"
Next he spins head-over hoof up to Oriam. "Hi there! I'm Jek, but I'm usually right-side-up" He rotates so his hooves brush the platform. "Now we'll just set you here, strap you down, and fly back. What kind of spinning do you like? How fast should we spin?"
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Jek finds that this particular glabrezu was larger and bulkier than a normal specimen and weighs in at 6,000lbs.
Oriam straps in and casts a spell making him invisible to normal eyesight. He answers unsure, ”The normal amount?” The plan goes off without a problem. Shavanistra does not molest you on the return trip.
Once you return Oriam allows you to stay in his rather large tent filled with a number of arcane texts, some rather plush furniture, and trophies collected from his travels; a bit of Chaos from Limbo safely contained in a magical prism, shifting randomly to various states, a glass of liquid so blue and vibrant that it draws the eye, a chain that radiates a sense of dread, among others. ”I’m a high-up in the Planewalker’s Guild so I’d like to offer all of you membership in our little club for a year, if you want it that is. Also please make my kip your kip for as long as you like.”
"Thanks, and that membership sounds nice too." Nik cuts in before anyone else has a chance to speak up.
"Also- er- got anyplace or method for hiding a rather larger- uh- individual?" He asks.
"Bigger than Jek, Xibalba there, or Skee's minder." He explains, pointing at each of his very large teammates in turn.
"Ooh! Useful."
Rinika wastes no time in dragging a large overstuffed couch over to the arcane texts so that she can browse them for critical information, and she plies Oriam with casual interrogation and some more pointed questions over the next hours as they rest up.
"So how'd you fall in with the guild? Is this a long-term camp? Are There others? Any near the plane of vacuum? Who makes the best food here-have you tried Rumieux's empanadas? They're great. Ever meet a wizard named Schrodinger? Have you ever found your door on the Staircase here?"
And when she thinks no one's looking, Rinika takes a very hard look at the contained bit of primordial chaos.
"Hmmmm Mhmmmm." Jek bluffs knowingly but not convincingly while perusing the rare and completely vexing trophies. Glancing at the library and small but overstuffed furniture, he strongly begins to suspect his companions are about to enjoy spending a great deal of time here. He eyes the exit and makes a quiet departure in search of particularly tasty food.
Before Oriam is able to answer and Jek is able to leave to find food a lillend wearing a faceless mask approaches the tent flap. The golden scales of her tail coil underneath her while her wings the color or lilies flaps reflexively. She speaks in a melodious voice, almost singing, "You have earned the lillendi's and the Moonmother's respect ridding the stairs of that foul tanar'ri."
She continues, "It has come to our attention that something begins to taint various places in the multiverse. Certain locations, once vibrant and alive with art, music, and creative endeavor, now grow dull. Soon, such places will become so bland that the Staircase will reject them and sever its connection to them. At the rate at which this is happening ... well, it is a cause for concern. Our time is consumed by the maintenance of the Infinite Staircase. We need someone to investigate and determine what occurs on these planes. You are capable and intelligent. Will you go to these places to learn what malady besieges them and if any remedy can be performed? Our gratitude will be great should you bring us useful information."
Nik screws up his face as he resists the urge to whine about bias on this plane against making friends, possibly the best art.
You could even say 'friendship is magic'.
Bunch of anti-necromancers. He thinks to himself.
Nik sighs while scratching his cheek and thinking of an excuse.
Rinika looks up with sudden interest at the Lillend's request. As she does so, her tail "accidentally" sweeps over the shelf of knicknacks to knock the bottled chaos off, to free it from its confines - but she feels her tail fighting her.
"You...you should know better'n most what bein' trapped feels like." she mutters under her breath before turning her attention back to the Lillend.
"While it's the way of the Universe for things to naturally fall apart, of course, it just won't do for 'em to get boring. Any idea where it's starting from? Got a list of 'em? Can we find 'em from here already?"
Khikril eagerly flits around Oriam's tent, barely listening to the Planeswalker's speech as he makes sketches of the various oddities around his tent. "Look at the design on this dagger! Ventalian, am I right? Heard that world got destroyed by some barmy wizard some years back!"
As Rinika knocks the chaotic prism from its shelf, Khikril rushes forward to catch it, just barely missing it as it smashes open on the floor of the tent. "Hey, watch it around those jars, Rinika! That elemental chaos is rare, you know! It makes things so much less boring, don't you agree?" He laughs, prodding at it with one clawed finger. "Look at that - poke, poke, poke, poke, poke!"
When the lillend enters, the itaraak scientist straightens, looking guilty. "What's that? I wasn't messing with anything!" Glancing around wildly, he points an accusing finger at Jek. "He did it!" As the snakelike celestial explains the nature of the emergency, he looks concerned. "Staircase connections severing? That's not good! You know, bugs are boring - I bet there's some sort of magical curse that turns everything on those worlds into bugs." A skeptical expression passes over his face, but after a moment, it is replaced by a kind of insane determination. "I don't want to be a bug... but I'll take a look at it anyway."
Remembering a project he had read about and wanted to try, he leans in to whisper to Nik during a lull in the conversation. "Hey Nik, do you remember that bone golem I was drafting up plans for? You think I should ask about that?" Without waiting for the necromancer to respond, he speaks up, addressing the more experienced Planeswalkers. "Just out of curiosity, do you happen to know anywhere I could find a lot of, say, bones? I need to make..." His head cranes, looking around the room as he tries to come up with a convincing lie. "...I need to make a lot of gelatin. For baking."
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Xibalba ducks into the tent and finds the first unoccupied spot to plop down cross legged. She watches over Rinika’s shoulder to catch a peek at her Oriam’s arcane text, patiently waiting for her turn at the library. Perhaps he has a mystery novel or two…
“Xibalba has never helden such a membership ! And a room too! So honorsome to be a parten of tha’s fancy sounding collective.”
——-
At the Lillend’s plea the djinn’s manner turns serious. She had learned to befriend loneliness and boredom during her time spent in the bottle and could imagine fewer fates worse than any of these many worlds losing their color and flavor. Xibalba stretches, quietly addressing Rinika’s question for a list with a secondary concern.
“Wardens, where to travel firstly? Dead worlds or dying ones?”
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The bit of Chaos falls to the floor but its prism does not shatter or seem to be affected in anyway. While Skee pokes at the stuff he sees it form into a purplish orb with what looks white clouds dotting the surface. In a matter of seconds he sees something crawling across the surface. In a moment he realizes that they are artificial structures being built at an incredible speed. Before anyone is able to scrutinize the tiny civilization, it disappears in a flash of scintillating lights. Oriam coughs as he picks it up and carries it away along with some of his more valuable looking trinkets, "Just need to tidy up a bit."
The lillend does her best to ignore the request for a copious amount of bones, "Seven doorways are affected by this strange affliction. I can direct you to each but the only details I can provide about them are their names: The Queen's Domain, The Ridged Land, The Swirling Realm, The Place of Wind, The Silver War, The Unclimbable Mountain, The Jingling City."
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Jek tunes in and out of the lillend's speach, but a few words get through. "Did I hear you right? You'll reward us if we keep things from getting boring?" He eyes the room suspiciously. "I always knew boredom was the real enemy... be careful... the books are clearly on the other side. We should go somewhere... less boring. Somewhere with food? A tavern perhaps. You mentioned a jingling city? A city ought to have a tavern. That or the silverware. Can't have that just laying around without something to use it on."
"Noted, thanks. Also you might have a halfing wandering the stairs that needs help finding home." Nik says, deciding it'll be easier to just take responsibility.
"Also don't mind Jek, books aren't his thing." the wizard explains, scratching his cheek.
"I'm fine with 'The Jingling City' first, any objections?" He asks the others.
Before they can answer, he comes up with a question for the lillend: "Oh and got any maps or anything to help us on this quest?"
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Oriam perks up as the Lillend gives them directions and the party sets their destination. He begins to write something down in a journal, "Ah! No one that I know of knows the dark of those doors. If you can bring back details." He adds with a wink "I know just the person to get bones for your gelatin."
But (there’s always a but, isn’t there), it’s just when you think you’ve got a grasp on true evil when it really slips through your fingers.
Is evil just the opposite of good? Is it hatred, pain, and murder? Is it ambivalence and disdane for others?
Sometimes, when you’ve seen a fiend up close, or traipsed through Gehenna’s fiery peaks, you think to yourself, that’s what evil is? Fire and brimmstone, horns and claws? Is there more to it than just that?
Of course there is.
Khikril shakes his head at Nik's query. "No objections here - the Jingling City is the most logical starting point. Most serious disease outbreaks start in busy trade cities, spread outwards from there as travelers journey to another land." He draws his healer's tools, glancing through them as he ensures he is properly equipped for the coming journey. "You know, they say the great gates of Xul Karanith were closed for the first and only time during the outbreak of the Revelor Plague - they tore them down when the city was resettled, after the plague had wiped out its previous inhabitants." He counts his array of scalpels with his index finger, making sure none are missing. "I doubt that will be necessary here, obviously, but cities are key to disease outbreaks. Not often the origin, but the key to its spread. Besides, there will be records and such. Very convenient." For perhaps the first time since the party has met him, he sounds less insane and more competent - a reminder that despite his eccentricities, he is still a skilled physician.
You find your way to the Jingling City's door, a descent down steps of iron. As you creep closer the light around you fades and diminishes until even magical illumination begins to fade and fail.
As you progress the stairs start to become rusted and slick until you reach a tiny landing of clattering and corrosion-covered metal plates. A think curtain of heavy iron chains serves as a doorway. Wind from the other side rattles the chains and the plates, making a cacophonous, irritating sound in the chill darkness.