Yes... it does... you are content enough where you are, but you are not satisfied in all aspects by where you are. How much time would it take to finish your bachelors? Are any of your old credits still "alive" and usable?
Sometimes it just takes taking that first step toward the goal to get you started. :)
See...that's where it gets kinda complicated. I work five nights a week and while I realize there are tons of people that have kids, work full time, manage to go to school and lead rich rewarding lives while not going insane....I'm not one of those people.
When I set my mind to go after something, I have to be able to go into it and give nothing less than 110%....well, right now all of that is in my job. It's so draining that I have nothing left to give. I was managing going to school while I was working in the clinic, but the hours were different and my grades still suffered slightly because there were not enough hours in the day to do everything I wanted to do and I couldn't give enough of myself to it to achieve the way I wanted to.
I hadn't gotten into the actual bachelor's program yet, and was working on the AA and taking the core classes that I needed to apply for their BSW program I have like chem and maybe one or two other classes away from getting into that program, but then I was intimidated by the fact that once in that program I would have classes, clinicals, and homework on top of that I got overwhelmed.
The last time I was in school was five years ago and I can't do all those math classes again. I'll be lucky if I can remember the quadratic equation which is the base for most chem problems.
It was stupid of me to put it off, but the BSW program is really difficult and you have to really keep your grades up because they are super duper picky about who they pick. I don't have time to mess around, so if I go back to school I have to be able to give it my all and I don't feel that I can do that right now. It's kinda this whole vicious cycle thing. I need to go to school to get a better career, but I have to have a better job to go to school. OR at least one that doesn't suck the life force outta me. Lol
I know it sounds like horrible excuses, but I really don't want my GPA to suffer. I was a 3.9 before I tried going and working at the same time and now it's a 3.8...I don't want it going any lower. Cuz while employers may not look at GPA's so much, college programs do.
No, you are right and I understand. So basically you would need to quit your job and focus on schooling. That is possible, you just have to plan for it right. Save what you can from your job now. I know, given the economy not as easy to do as it is for me to write, but any cent you lay away now will be worth three then.
Next, start looking into grants and scholarships. Yes, many are specifically for high school grads, but there are plenty for various people like you. Fill out a FAFSA. The worst that you can get told is that you don't qualify for aid or grants.
Think about loans, but realize that if you go that route you will need to pay them back even if you don't graduate... so minimize the amount you need to borrow and make sure you stay focused while at college. (Trust me, carrying a few loans from a failed MA attempt... not fun, especially given I don't have the degree to show for it... but that is another story for another day.)
Finally, start looking at colleges and their degrees. Some might be willing to waive some of your classes for the credits you had, or for the work experience you have. Find the program at the college that interests you most while still being within your budget.
I know, definately have gone further into this than I have right to, but it is part of my nature I suppose. Feel free to disregard all of this... or part of it... or none of it. At the end of the day, it is your life you are living... live it the way that makes sense to you, eh?
In case I didn't say it before, for some reason wayfinder isn't working on my phone now. I don't know how this could be, Henry has tried everything he can to fix it and we just can't get it to come up. All I get is a blank page, so for now until we figure out what this cheap piece of craps problem is....I'm once again relegated to using the dinosaur. Aaarrggghhhhh *Frustrated!!!!*
Oh yeah....and then there's my parents..."Just find a better job....ect ect ect" to ad nauseam until I want to non compus mentum, if ya know what I mean. Add on top of that that we've been married almost TWELVE years and have ZERO children, finally figured out what the problem is just to have the stupid dr put up yet another road block, being money of course when all I need to do is take some chlomid and boost my progesterone.
There's just a lot of stuff which is why now we're talking about moving out of state to a place that isn't totally stupid to live in.
Heh, WA isn't too bad from my time here... San Diego, CA isn't bad either (though it can be pricy tax wise, it has probably some of the best public transit in the states).
Even Wisconsin isn't too bad, if you don't mind the cold. TN can be ok to live in, and Memphis has decent hospitals. Plenty of places to go, :)
And, a bonus: if you are quitting to move anyway, it might be that first step to going to college, eh? ;)
Sorry if I am a bit cheery. I am just in a good mood.
I was in a good mood this morning, then I slept, lol.
It sounds like you get to do a lot of traveling so that's nice. I haven't been out of this state since we wen't to go see my cousin in The Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Tulsa, OK last year before she passed away....but it was only for a few days, but at least we had that.
The last actual vacation we had together when we got to go somewhere was about four years ago when we went to Eureka Springs for Henry's birthday.
Grew up in CA got too much family there, not goin back. Lol We were sorta looking at New York....or some part of it NOT the main cities exactly. They just have a lot more to offer us, in many different ways.
And yes....going back to school WAS one of the major deciding factors in moving...everything just needs to be timed right and things have to be planned out....I don't wanna just go jumping in no matter how much I want to get away from Arkansas and the increasing amount of BS. Both personal/family related and work wise.
I know no place is going to be perfect, because the world isn't perfect and happiness is only really a state of mind and a choice you make, so no matter where we go we are going to HAVE to CHOOSE to be happy in order to BE happy. We're just happy to be together really. I think I told henry one time that a house is just a house, but he's my home. Something mushy and sentimental like that anyways. Hehe
There are just so many negative things here just sucking the life/spirit outta us, we gotta get out before we're all hollow inside. I don't know....sometimes I think it's practically too late for me already.
I love that your're in a good mood though, because it rubs off and I'm, even though seemingly manic right now, am feeling very happy as well and I don't know why....
Honey I'm sorry you woke up feeling vile, and grumpy. I guess it's partly my fault for not going to bed when I should have and snuggling with you cuz as much as you protest I know you like to and you sleep better when I'm with you. ;oP WHO LOVES YA BABY?! I DO!!!!!!
heh... I envy that... I wish I was home with my wife right now.
I do a lot of traveling for work... did a decent amount of traveling prior to that. I was originally from CA too, though I don't have family there anymore (my wife does though). I have some friends in the Albany area, but I don't talk to them much (his choice, not mine) and I have never been to that portion of the states yet.
Reason I am happy is that I will be home soon and will be able to snuggle with my wife again. Have been away for over a month now... grates on the nerves a bit... but makes the homecoming that much more sweet.
Haven't been to AK... though if it is anything like KA then I can see why you want to leave it.
Oh, one last comment: your life/spirit can only be fully drained if you let it be. Unlike a car battery that can eventually die beyond being able to be jumped, your spirit can always take a charge and regenerate, if you take the time to do so. Perhaps some time off prior to jumping into college to focus on being with your husband would go a long way toward that after you move? A little R&R does a lot toward the recharging of spirit, believe you me. ;)
Glad that you are awake, oh GM... hope that your day brightens, your mood improves, and that you find something akin to a rainbow to brighten your day.
I'm gonna be watching the front door of a peanut butter factory later. I don't think it gets much better.
I'll probably play games on Steam later though, heh.
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LOL do you really want it to be interesting? I wouldn't want to dealwith people crazy enough to try to steal peanut butter.
My parents are in CA right now and I called them a while as a matter of fact to tell them and have them let my other siblings (I have four of them) know my wishes regarding Christmas this year. My moms reaction was a pause, and then "Oh....okay." I didn't really give her a chance to say much else, just some comments about the weather and other vague things then said bye.
I don't really talk to people I just met about spirit/energy stuff cuz if I tried to explain how I deal with that...then you would know for sure that I'm nuts, and I don't wanna scare away good potential friends right off the bat. I hear what your saying and I didn't totally mean it that way, it's just really oppressive here and so it just feels that way sometimes.
I have to get out of the city to actually recharge, even if it's just a walk in the woods which we haven't been able to do lately due to a back injury I got last month at work.
This is my first week back on the floor doing full duty again....so, we'll see how it goes. Tonights our last night of work and then we have two nights off, but if feels more like a night and a half because of the sleep thing...which we will do once we get home tomorrow.
I'm sorry if I said AK, I'm not in Alaska I'm in Ass-backwards Arkansas. Just....there's no words. We are trying to pay off as much of our debt as possible right now which is mostly hospital bills, school loans, and one credit card that we got to help pay bills with last year when I fell in my shower. The only trouble with this as you can imagine, is that the longer we stay here the more bad stuff happens and at this rate we'll never be rid of this armpit state.
I'm sorry I makin ya miss your wife, but I'm glad that you get to be home soon. Everything is worth it when you have someone wonderful to go home to in the end.
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LOL do you really want it to be interesting? I wouldn't want to dealwith people crazy enough to try to steal peanut butter.
TRUE DAT!!!
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Here is to hoping you guys got some sleep finally. Was in a similar state last night... and given I get home soon likely to be that way tonight too... insomnia always hits me before things like this.
Oh... not sure what kind of music you are into, but if you get the chance youtube/spotify/whatever the latest music craze is Jethro Tull's Jack Frost and the Hooded Crow. I was listening to a compliation of their work and it came on and I though of our discussion of the holidays. ;) When I finally get on a PC that can actually handle streaming type media like that I might share a link to it.
:) Best of luck with your spider slaying, ;)
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I slept a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot~
Here is to hoping you guys got some sleep finally. Was in a similar state last night... and given I get home soon likely to be that way tonight too... insomnia always hits me before things like this.
Oh... not sure what kind of music you are into, but if you get the chance youtube/spotify/whatever the latest music craze is Jethro Tull's Jack Frost and the Hooded Crow. I was listening to a compliation of their work and it came on and I though of our discussion of the holidays. ;) When I finally get on a PC that can actually handle streaming type media like that I might share a link to it.
:) Best of luck with your spider slaying, ;)
We both slept, but I had to take some medicine this morning and I still sound all raspy. It's been a rough couple of days....but, as for the christmas thing. I guess....it's about me and Henry more and we always get a stuffed animal for each other for every christmas....I wasn't gonna do anything this year cuz of how everything was....but, I finally caved and got Henry a soft plush stuffie of a cute little penguin with a hat and scarff, and he got me a soft plush stuffie of a reindeer even though they deer of any variety are evil. LoL
We are trying our best with that spider and it's just crazy how the dice aren't being kind to any of us. Hopefully we'll get it resolved and meet up with you guys before either it kills us, or you come looking at the keep and find us. LOL
I'll get a post up tonight. Work is keeping me busy during the day for the next couple weeks.
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It's cool....things have been pretty crazy and our schedules have been all messed up.
Yes, I have a job interview in a little over an hour.
Good luck!
Good luck, indeed!
I applied with an employment agency at 5 this morning. At 9, they called me back and want to see me at 2 to finish my application process for a position at a call center making $1.75 more an hour than I do now and it'll also give me weekends off. Oh, and no more night shift. It'll be from 7:30 am to 5:30 pm.
Isn't my baby Awesome?! They sure snatched him up quick! No doubts here. He's on his way to the interview now. We are soooo happy, I actually filled out an application as well a couple hours ago. It took me a while to work up the nerve to do it.
I just don't see the point in staying at the hospital anymore. The benefits suck now since the new chancelor took over and changed everything and went with a cheaper insurance company. They hardly pay anything. I called and told my supervisor this morning and she laughed at me. I think somehow that she thinks they own me or something and that I'll never leave. But my body just can't take the constant abuse anymore and I want weekends off again too and work during the day....it'll be a little different and a bit of an adjustment having to be out when the evil day star is rearing it's ugly head, but I know I need to get off of the night schedule too.
Having weekends off would really open up a lot of things for us and if I worked during the day I could finish taking the rest of the few core classes I have left. We'll see what happens.
The funny thing is....it was really a sign. Like a billboard that we saw on our way home this morning after I had to go out to get away from the house for a little bit. Henry happened to see it and applied after we got home....crazy right?
Glad to hear it! Good luck to both of you!
Thanks
Well, took 5 tests and had an interview in English and Spanish. I'm just a drug screening away from a new job.
Well, took 5 tests and had an interview in English and Spanish. I'm just a drug screening away from a new job.
If you pass said test are they decided on if they want to hire you? Nothing like waiting to hear the results. O_O
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The person who usually handles clerical positions was out sick, so I have to wait to talk to her and take said drug test, but that pretty much determines my eligibility for the job.
Now he went a laid down for a bit since we've been up since like 2 something this morning....I should too probably...but nah.
Okay...maybe I should lay down...for just a few minutes. ;oP
Rest.
Yeeeaaahhhhh.....totally didn't mean to actually fall asleep for a few hours and miss the flash all together.....Oh well...sometimes I guess it can't be helped. Totally thought I saw the light on the alarm clock set though that indicates the alarm is set....but nothing woke me up until a couple minutes ago.
*sad face*
Henry still sleepin, I just woke up cause my head was all stuffy.
Glad you are awake... not the best audio quality, and no inventiveness on the video... but I did promise to share it, :)
I'm awake too.
I used to listen to Jethro Tull a long time ago....that was the firs time I had heard one of his songs in a long time and it brought back a lot of memories for me.
My friend Jeff Woodruff along with a bunch of other people, mostly guys we would listen to it while playing pool over at his house and such, roleplaying, whatever. It was good background music for a lot of things. Ahh back when I wasn't quite so corrupted and far too naive. Lol
It is good general purpose music... it has elements of classical, rock, and folk. And the lyrics are rather biting at times if you pay attention to what is being said, but not in an "in your face" kind of way.... it's more subtle than that, and I find that to be really awesome.
So....after a long debate with myself I have come to a decision. I have decided to leave UAMS, and let what happens happen. I don't have a job lined up yet, but I'm trying to not freak out about that right now.
This thing with the job for Henry just came out of the blue, and while working for an agency might not be right for me, it's great for him and there will be something for me eventually.
Right now, I'm just concentrating on breathing cuz it's really hard taking that first step....but I kinda realized after hurting my back AT work, that the things that have been happening to me aren't all my fault and that I will never grow as a person or in my desired career path if I don't take this first initial step, as scary as it is to me right now. I have been working there for over five and a half years and it's only gotten worse and little has been done to help me go further than what I already do.
I am trusting in a power greater than myself to see me through this, and maybe that's what all this has been about from the beginning. I've always been very strong willed, independent, and determined to do things my own way. Maybe so much so that someone is trying to show me that I need to learn when to back off and let something else take control. Control is a big issue for me I guess when it comes to...well just about everything I guess in one way or another. Some are more subtle than others....but, maybe I'm just too self reliant and I need to back up a bit and learn to let certain things go.
I have to trust that there is something out there better for me and that this will all work out for the good. Right? God I hope so....it's just a leap of faith that I have to take.
It is time that I finally free myself from the shackles that UAMS has drilled into me that I need. The chains that have bound me to them, I have finally been able to break. My last day with them is December 7th and right now I'm just trying to breath and keep telling myself I did the right thing.
Okay, time to go make some lunch. Grilled cheese and tomato basil soup it is!
Okay, time to go make some lunch. Grilled cheese and tomato basil soup it is!
Sounds tasty! I had a Marie Calendar's dinner, fettuccine alfredo with chicken and broccoli. Also, some kind of double chocolate cookie.
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Chocolate is good any time of day. Lol
Alright, I think the stuff I took for my headache a while ago has kicked in, I'm gonna go lay down with Henry for a while and try and get some rest before I head back into work tonight.....the first night of my last.
Nice easy breaths....everything is going to be okay.
Yeah....so that whole sleep thing....totally not gonna happen. I just have too much going on in my head right now and acid reflux on top of that....so, no.
Got an email from my boss telling me she got my letter of resignation and will have the Employee Separation form for me in the morning. I'm glad she didn't put up a fuss, one less headache for me to deal with so to speak.
I'm still nervous about it, but it's one less thing to worry about.
Sounds like you had to get out of there. I've done that. Glad I did. :)
Yeah....probably over due, but better late than never. Pretty much the costs were outweighing the benefits at this point.
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Change is just really hard for me initially.
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No, you are right and I understand. So basically you would need to quit your job and focus on schooling. That is possible, you just have to plan for it right. Save what you can from your job now. I know, given the economy not as easy to do as it is for me to write, but any cent you lay away now will be worth three then. Next, start looking into grants and scholarships. Yes, many are specifically for high school grads, but there are plenty for various people like you. Fill out a FAFSA. The worst that you can get told is that you don't qualify for aid or grants. Think about loans, but realize that if you go that route you will need to pay them back even if you don't graduate... so minimize the amount you need to borrow and make sure you stay focused while at college. (Trust me, carrying a few loans from a failed MA attempt... not fun, especially given I don't have the degree to show for it... but that is another story for another day.) Finally, start looking at colleges and their degrees. Some might be willing to waive some of your classes for the credits you had, or for the work experience you have. Find the program at the college that interests you most while still being within your budget. I know, definately have gone further into this than I have right to, but it is part of my nature I suppose. Feel free to disregard all of this... or part of it... or none of it. At the end of the day, it is your life you are living... live it the way that makes sense to you, eh?
It's okay, I am willing to listen to any advice I can get and yours about the funding and everything seems pretty solid. It's nice having someone who's been there before share some of their own knowledge. It helps me feel a little better anyways. Sorry I didn't respond to this particular post earlier, but sometimes I don't always see something until I go back to look at it later. I blame it on how distracted I've been lately. But thank you for the support and the advice, both are appreciated. I guess I'm just taking the plunge and putting myself all in, as they say. Or something like that. Lol
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Cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake for breakfast. Lol
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