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Well, in every campaign there are moments you just don't expect. This is no exception. Some of these may require explanation for how they came about, but the really short version is "Yeah, the one player in the campaign can do that." It's a fun thing.
Anyway, I have so much pointless backstory, I've got multiple walls-of-text behind spoiler tags! Woot! Feel free to ignore! (No seriously, I don't recommend you read all that text. It's way to much. Typical me, really.)
Anyway, being the GM I was (and her not really feeling like coming up with any sort of detailed eeeeeeeeeeevil back-story, because "ew", and kind of wanting a way to turn the eeeeeeeeeeeevil character good) I lightly perused thed20pfsrd and the pathfinderwiki for information on succubi, and while skimming them, came across Caizel in the d20pfsrd. Instant (loose) inspiration!
(EDIT: I actually partially blended her with a lesser Malcanthet for back-story)
This was when his daughter got kidnapped. He entered the vaults of evil items he'd sealed away, because it was giving him visions to do so, and used a large number of candles of invocation he'd made when he was more powerful and a worshiper of Caizel to call upon "the one who would find and rescue your daughter". They were chaotic evil, of course, and the combined power of all of them summoned... Caizel; well what was left of her.
Long story longer, a 'melting'-looking man appears and offers her a powerful magic dagger and a ring**** to find and safely return his daughter to him. She accepted, gained a new tattoo and - unbeknownst to the character, though the player had some hints - began a journey of becoming lawful good.
Insert me using The Twilight Tomb adventure... again. Man, do I use that way too much (like, five times now, I think, though this is the first time we've ever 'finished' the whole thing, due to player shenanigans leading to skipping large portions in the past, and usually they don't have over-powered characters. Huh. Anyway, I used the {REDACTED FOR SPOILERS SEE BELOW*****}
Anyway, the succubus - desperate to be free of a disgustingly aura'd (lawful and good) creature's service - agrees and eventually finds and successfully rescues the girl (taking on an appearance similar to the girl's, only older, and, when the girl asked if she was an "angel", she said "yes"... much later taking that on as her name). Coming to 'tame' the mercenaries (and their demon leader), she realized that she actually started to... care, disgustingly enough, about the girl. And care a lot. And feel kindness to her. And... compassion. Ew?! But she worked on getting the key out to be free of that awful compulsion and be rid of the child (and hopefully this newfound... whatever it was... for good), though she was surprisingly irritated and repulsed for some odd reason by her new demon-friend's***** suggestions for revenge, explaining it away as 'they'll be useful tools later'.
Then the girl nearly-died. By getting wrecked by a shadow, wight, and wraith. At the same time. By pulling a last-minute GM shenanigans, I determined that her "protective wards" kicked in at the last moment, though she was unconscious and near-dead (basically she had 'permanent' bull's strength, bear's endurance, and 2 points of energy charge on that technically kept her alive). Through a surprising series of botched Heal checks (So. Many. Natural. Ones.), she was believed dead, and just kept in the backpack the succubus had made to carry her in out of a morbid hope that it 'counted' for freeing the PC from 'slavery' magic.
The boss fight went from bad to worse, as he dropped a cloudkill on them (the demons were immune, but the girl... um... totally had... er... c'mon PFSRD, uh, yeah, the absorb toxicity spell on her. Yeah. That's it.) and eventually when they used lots of magical effects to make the area strange, the apprentice character*****, uh... dispelled magic over an area with his wand. And rolled a natural twenty.
So... as a GM, I had to admit it: the girl was dead and was on her way within 1d4 rounds to becoming no less than three different undead at the same time (though the PC had taken out the boss... at least that?). So, as a GM, what to do?
I summoned her father, Berask, the melty guy. His long-ago pre-cast wards went off (killing most of the evil creatures, though the PC survived and stayed conscious) in vengeance for his daughter's death, and he got a chance to talk with the PC one last time, realizing now that she was what was left of Caizel. She realized she hated what she was, and truly regretted the girl dying, gladly doing anything to bring the girl back. She accepted the impulse to become lawful good and did so.
Berask agreed to a soul-pact (preventing his soul from completely evaporating into nothing) in exchange for using his wish to bring his daughter back to life, exchanging her term of service from 'rescuing the girl' to 'raising her to be a good person to the best of your ability' (though lacking some critical pieces of soul-stuff the newly christened angel had to use some 'leftovers' from her now-dead demon-friend; man GMs are sadistic in their potential hook-building exercises some times). She then used her pleasure-inducing touch to basically kill Berask in the most pleasant way possible (instead of the worst) after he had some time with his daughter, his soul now residing in a gem.
They made an agreement with the flame skull to build a new body (i.e. Flesh Golem) for Mourel's brain (but secretly implanted Berask's soul), and I dropped hints that Dora (the girl) was strangely curious and skilled with anatomy and magic and she helped (Angel might be lawful good now, but she is a demon with no memories or real history she knows of and deemed 'small people' fully mature, obviously... she came to realize that wasn't[i] true later, but hey, she eventually learned how to be a not-awful parent.), turned the mercenaries into good people, made allies with skum, created tons of soul-pacts for wish-granting shenanigans (and incidentally raising most of the dead mercenaries, and turning all the corpses into 'perfect' so-called "fish-brides" for the skum, who thought this was the best), and finished making the new golem (the Flame Skull using itself as the 'last piece' being, in this game, made from Mourel's old skull).
With the creation of the fully-sentient (but secretly and subtly controlled by Angel through secretly crafted control-amulet) Berel (get it?), they managed to get to the gate controls, open the gate, and realize the other side had been destroyed. More wish-granting shenanigans later, and the gate was tied to three other 'random' locations (other elf-gates) that were [i]relatively near each other in the omniverse. Unbeknownst to the player, they connected to different times, too.
One was Solveryan immediately after the elves started to return. One was Vyre shortly after the underground temple's re-befoulment from Nocticula to Cyth'Vsug and the creation of Fungus Queens (which Angel bore witness to). One was in the middle of what would become Last Wall... during the Shining Crusade, the day of Arazni's arrival and summoning.
She checked each of the three out, but during her visit to the last, the gate was shattered around her as she exited, from a powerful spell sent by Tar-Baphon. Seen and believed to be a 'citizen in peril' she was rescued by a shining knight and literally hauled off the battlefield (nauseated by all the lawful goodness she was picking up from the shiny knights everywhere), and then, sensing an overwhelming something, blacked out, only to wake up in Arazni's presence. After some talking Arazni (knowing who/what she was and some of her history, and all the alignments she had) removed the chaotic, evil, and extraplanar descriptors, granted her the angel subtype (though none of the other abilities) at Iomedae's suggestion (a "good girl" who'd saved the "innocent" she only later realized wasn') shifted the 'lost' gate access to one near Westcrown in Chelliax^, and super-geased the very-willing (and now-literal) Angel to not meddle with time-traveling shenanigans or meddle in the long-term affairs of Chelliax's nobles until after Aroden's return (encouraging a nice, quiet life).
The mercs, Berel the golem, Dora the daughter, and Angel lived in Westcrown (the mercs almost breeding out into full-humans over the years, the daughter's aging accidentally slowed by ioun-stone implanting that 'seemed like a good idea at the time') for nearly 800 years (being faithful worshipers of first Arazni, then Aroden, then Iomedae), and moving out around 100 years ago during the civil war after Aroden died to the 'civilized' place of Absolom, since Dora wasn't yet quite an adult. After Dora grew up and left (an emotional moment in gameplay), Angel joined an Iomedaen monastery to get some sense of guidance for her immortal but now no-longer-tied-to-raising-a-daughter life. "Guidance" made her feel called back to Westcrown, and being distraught at how far it had fallen made her convinced she needed to do something (the geas long since having faded).
Enter the new game!
So here is one of the funniest ones.
: so, the PC decides that the Children of Westcrown need to 'stay back' and, though they're dubious, she summons nine succubi (and has them dress in the 'uniform' of the Children of Westcrown of white/gold cloth mask, and deep brown/blue cloak/robes in roughly-humanoid form she temporarily makes for them from illusion-stuffs). So here's where things get strange. She doesn't have or allow them to attack the Hellknights, which surprised me (as I thought it would be a simple encounter). Instead, "They are to be disarmed and incapacitated without dealing any permanent harm or embarrassment. Have fun!"
Cue the Hellknights' proceeding to completely get charmed/suggestioned out of their pants, literally (except the leader who was critically successful maximized roll touch-of-idiocied and, thus practically animalized). Shortly thereafter, the Hellknights are naked, and dancing a combination of the Rockette's leg-kick, conga-line, and Can-can dancing. For hours. While the naked (lacking a holy symbol, as it was stolen) leader-cleric howls like a dog and uses his hands to dig a hole to hide in. The Hellknight armor is collected and distributed to random places across Westcrown with signs on it about their... er... 'party'. They left in the Hellknight carraige with all the Hellknights' stuff.
They definitely earned the Fame Point. (There are talks about "Hellknight Prances" and quips about their dancing v. their prisoner-taking that are going on around town right now, much to their fury, and the PC's delight.)
they were talking later, and one would-be sorcerer really wanted her to teach/grant him similar powers. Her response?
"With Great Power comes Great Responsibility. It's not all fun and games. Except for today. Today was fun."
Not exactly the best way to hammer home said moral. But we laughed over it for a long, long time.
Also, now that she's set her sights on Thesing (to embarrass him for being such a cruel, wicked guy), I... really can't imagine what's coming. Stay tuned!
So, it's your turn (unless I think of more first!). What are awesome, funny, or just plain nice moments from the campaign?
* It turns evil things lawful good, is sentient, and has divinatory powers, but can only communicate via empathy and (when things are really important) minor visions. It doesn't let anyone know what it can do. It also marks those it's affected by a glowing tattoo.
** He was marrying for eeeeeeevil purposes. But it's cool, because it didn't turn out that way. She died in childbirth, though. It was sad, but the GM was the only one that knew this at all.
*** While she kept a weakened version of most of her abilities as Caizel, she didn't know they existed. I added a few more that I thought were 'thematic' and that she'd likely never use, but were there anyway. The biggest alteration was her summoning abilities which can only call a specific number of succubi, incubi, and babaus, and only a limited number per week based on hit dice, because... that's all that's left of her 'loyal' followers. Again, it's a long baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack stoooooooooooooory! She did get (altered and somewhat weakened) abilities of a Fiend of Corruption prestige class from 3.5, though.
**** The price the ring told the man he'd have to pay. EDIT: in case it wasn't clear, the ring was aware via divination that the demonlord had a potentially equally-good future-history, and really the man had no other options; the ring and summoning could force her to keep her 'oath' of bringing the child back alive and unharmed, and by giving the ring to Caizel, there was the probability that an actual nascent demon lord (albeit weakened) would be brought to the side of law and good - a major coup. The dagger allows her mythic tiers (about one per AP). The ring itself is basically a perfect 'plot device central' for GMs when players are 'seeking guidance'. :)
*****
^ EDIT: Specifically, an elf-gate inside an ancient tree... a tree that would one day be the layer of hag who called herself the Mother of Flies...
Sorry, I realize I misquoted! How terrible! The orders were:
"They are to be disarmed and incapacitated without dealing any permanent harm except embarrassment. Have fun!"
Oh, man. Wait until I get time to update about tonights... escapades.
It involves a play.
And some awesome script changes.
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So, my player had an... interesting relationship with Thesing. She loathed him right from the very beginning with a passionate hatred. Thanks to mind-reading, she knew what he wanted and what he was like. Thanks to an insanely high bluff check and diplomacy check, she was able to persuade him that she was super-impressed and totally into him, but that she had to go away now (and he had a show to play in).
As soon as he was gone, she worked with Jacobi and Gorvio and smoothed things out, and basically donated extra horses they'd... um... "acquired" from Hellknights (who did, technically, actually legally give them away)... for Jacobi to rent out (to Thesing).
She then immediately added to her "Quest Sheet" (of her own accord, with no prompting from me) "embarrass Thesing".
They learned about the horse-kicking incident and laughed and let it go for now.
Enter the Sixfold Trial. Thesing was there. The first day they were pleasant, but evasive. They also begin to take it upon themselves to do lots of research into learning just how awful Thesing was (and learned of his many indiscretions and cruelty as a result).
For his part, Thesing was completely awful, attempting to use Elixirs of Love and even intimidation and was just-shy of using physical force to get his way with Calseinica, the PC, and/or another character, but was successfully rebuffed each time, and usually avoided and sent in a different direction by clever use of skills or magic.
One evening at sunset when he was harassing them ("blessing them with his presence", as he liked to call it) as they were walking home together, one of the PCs used some potent illusion magic plus an intimidate check (and cause fear) to make terrifying shadow-beasts in an alleyway, causing him to flee in terror (while pushing the women behind him to protect himself). Later that evening when the Dottari showed up and no one else was able to recall running into shadow-beasts, and all the women were fine... well. It didn't look good for him and rumors spread quickly.
During most of the week of practice, each evening he was subtly suggestioned to avoid "physical interaction" with women (but was flirted with/evaded/redirected during the day when he was extremely aggressive). This led to him being very... hm... shall we say "frustrated".
She did use her succubus ability to grant a Profane Gift to Thesing's charisma, figuring it would be good for the play.
In any event, really wished to do something with this, and, when I rewrote the play to accommodate all the additional characters, she... adapted some of her lines as well.
She never practiced them at the Limehouse, only in private, to "heighten the surprise".
The lines are below (with the important changes made bold by me).
LARAZOD
Yes, lies ARE your closest friends, FALSE magistrate. Larazod knows no lies, and no slanderer’s tongue caresses my dignity, you vain, fool-born codpiece. The accusations you speak are as true as Asmodeus’s sword. They cleave clean through. Let the witnesses suffer no more lash. To burn their innards with pokers and steal their eyes is simply to waste precious toil better spent in Asmodeus’s service. There is but one point misaligned in this dark constellation—I seek not your death, you goatish whoreson rascal, though the secrets you harbor in your feeble heart deserve a gruesome demise. I carry no assassin’s blade, nor breath-stealing spell to rob your mortality. To end you I need only know you, you droning milk-livered lout, and to cast you in an honest shade. I pierce your “shadows of truth” and show you for what I know—a false knave, a demon-supping wag-tail, a balor’s bawd, a pus-leaking cataract in the eye of Asmodeus’s justice,
a succubus-seducer prone to unfortunate encounters with the hooves of horses, a craven coward who runs from imaginary shadow beasts, a dishonest wretch who professes love but discards women like feces as soon as they have passed through his system, a gorbellied spur-galled miscreant who makes a living off of lies and uses his influence to corrupt officials, an impertinent popinjay, prone to delusions of grandeur, and subject to the multi-handed ministrations of a marilith whore, dretchloving plunderer, and traitor to our great Dark Lord.
Thesing was shocked, and demanded to know what was going on. A quick deflection and evasion later (with an amazingly convincing, innocent-sounding "is there something wrong?"), and they didn't have time to talk before heading back on stage.
(Note: she's a reformed/redeemed now-lawful good succubus, and he attempted to seduce her many, many times, which she "innocently" avoided each time). Truth in insult (though, of course, he didn't know it)!)
LARAZOD
I recant… nothing! Grind on, honeyed torment. Sing sweetly as I may, no cries of “recant” shall you hear. I hate lies, as I hate malmsey-nosed, lily-livered, demon-loving traitors.More torture.
LARAZOD
Had enough, mewling Magistrate? Can you withstand it any longer? Please give in and recant, for the only torment I cannot bear is your continued duplicity. Recant, mammering Magistrate! Recant your own lies, and Asmodeus may have mercy on your spongy, spleeny, surly, slimy soul.
Alliteration for the win! Thesing, being incensed by the fact that Larazod is talking about Thesing while talking about Haanderthan, Thesing tried again, only to be fulled and rebuffed.
LARAZOD
Your courage is beyond question. Show this lickspittle, plume-plucked, idle-headed Magistrate the meaning of devotion, my friend....
LARAZOD
I sing only of the joy of supplication to our dark lord. This pleasure is only a gift of Asmodeus’s truth. I would gladly die at this fluke’s bite, but alas, my duty here is yet undone, and so I scorn this pleasure with a bleeding blade. I shall not relent until your lies are revealed, foul, brazen-faced, villanous Magistrate.
It's worth noting that Farus flung her "pleasure fluke" onto Haanderthan causing an uproar of laughter and enjoyment from the crowd (and Thesing needing rescuing from the Bailiff's actor).
Extremely frustrated (but also super-turned on by Acts two and three and some subtle magical manipulation), Thesing whiper-yelled at/with Robhal (presuming he knew of and had created the changes, since Larazod's actress was so innocent), which led to bad feelings between them, but it was short-lived as then Act Four started...
LARAZOD
Come, horror, I shall tear my way from your venomed gizzard with the white-hot blade of my truth.
Not much to talk about here, but Thesing remained in character... while... hm... "releaving" himself due to the... hm... "excitement" (enhanced by magic) of the previous acts and events on stage (Larazod being stripped and whipped, the effects of a Pleasure Fluke - and the acting that goes with it - and the passion onstage between Larazod and Ilsandra). He was sitting behind his "throne of judgement" during this time for obvious reasons, though he made some great rolls.
LARAZOD
Ha! Give me your egg, you light little lickspittle. If Asmodeus wishes it, I shall choke the life of my own devilish child with glee. I gulp this egg down before this court, our masturbating Magistrate, and our dark lord’s very eyes.
The former being at a huge, hulking Bailiff, of course (played by a sentient Flesh Golem ally that levitated for her). The latter humiliated Thesing (who was horrified that someone had actually noticed him, which she had, though she'd not reacted to it). He stayed seated in between acts, and the PC avoided him thoroughly, allowing his hatred to stew.
Act Six had no interaction between the two, but Thesing was completely outraged that they survived. He began praying for disaster to befall them - especially that tricky, deceitful minx he hated - and began praying to Asmodeus that she and her friends would be slaughtered through some catastrophe immediately (hoping somehow strange magic would kill them with the scarves or something).
Some... of the dialogue changed because of Thesing's outrage as well. It's noted below, too, and I've posted more of the events. Most notably, there are two words that were supposed to be "dog". This word changed to something less... eloquent... in the course of dialogue between the two.
Also, she'd had the golem prepare a nifty specially-researched spell ahead of time to turn someone's face into a donkey before hand.
LARAZOD
This trial is yours, you frothy, gleeking, puking, warped, swag-bellied, motley-minded Magistrate Maleficarum. Asmodeus is the only true judge here. Bow before him.HAANDERTHAN
Insolent b****! Asmodeus shall scour your soul as sauce from a pan. Ash for bones, and waxen souls melted by the dark lord’s flame to puddle at his taloned feet.LARAZOD
Asmodeus will judge whether I indeed be b**** or no. I pray that he reveal you to be the infectious, ruttish, rank, hell-hated jackass you truly are. We shall see who is judged!THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS enters in a burst of foul colored flames and shrieking, crimson skinned imps and offers Larazod a choice. His devils hang silk scarves around all the companions’ necks—one of red, one of crimson. Each is handed a contract written in blood, which bursts into flames when read.
PRINCE OF DARKNESS
Choose. A true heart shall beat strong for all eternity at my side, a false one burns to cinder in an instant.Larazod and his companions choose the crimson scarves and the red ones burn away. Haanderthan cries out in terror as the Prince of Darkness turns on him.
PRINCE OF DARKNESS
Treacherous magistrate who lords false justice over true souls. Your soul shall burn for all eternity—an everlasting torment awaits you.(Haanderthan's face becomes that of a donkey, and his Charisma is drained.)
The character playing Farus used Prestidigitation (a spell-like ability she has at will) to... "enhance" the "evidence" of Thesing's "indiscreet act" in between acts four and five, causing it to grow has he's being dragged away. (In other words, it looks a lot like he's wetting his pants.)
At the same time, the Bailiff casts the spell that has no verbal or somatic components to turn Thesing's face into that of a donkey, and the PC removes the profane gift (thus rolling 2d6 to see how much of Thesing's charisma is drained). She rolled 12. He had a starting Charisma of 13.
Perfect 20 on all of the perform checks.
The crowd goes insane.
As the adventure notes:
...
As Robahl takes him and levitates down through a cleverly hidden trap door into the underworld below the stage, a DC 20 Sense Motive check is enough to note that Thesing’s cries of anger and rage are not acting—he seems truly distraught and enraged that the PCs have survived the play.
...
He is truly distraught indeed.
This was a glorious event... it was so incredibly cool.