Advice on how to react to a party member


Advice


Hi here's the deal, we had just had a major encounter and we didn't win but the encounter withdrew back to it's layer and we were left bruised and badly wounded (well most of us)
I play a hafling rogue (wow how cliché!) and all of a sudden my hafling and the elven monk start to talk, I don't remember HOW it all happend now, but the monk manages to say to my rogue "Well at least I do more in the heat of battle than you do"

Now my hafling is a hired hero in this party and she even have a contract with them (all of the memebers of the party do) and she is very proud of who and what she is, plus she is very... ehm... full of herself.
Now I played how I would, compared to how she is and how she feels about herself.. So I played it like she got angry and felt like a stupid elf insulted her and her job as the party's rogue.

But what should I do from here?
The elf just looked down at her and didn't really seem to care to have insulted her honor and job.

What would you guys do? I can't stab her since she is a member of the party and she would propably be kicked out for killing her.
But Lorastine (my rogue) is really proud of her job and class, so getting spit in the face like that lit her fuse towards the elf.
Normally they are pretty okay friends and this is the first time she has insulted her like that.
Also the elf has a tendecy to call both me and the other hafling (who is a Keep Lord, all of the party members are lord and ladies of Fort Rannick, but we decided to make the bard the main lord of the keep) "little buddy" while patting us on the head (which for me is also insulting to our race)

So... input and advice are really appreciated :)

Grand Lodge

What are you stats/feats, and what are those of the Elf Monk?


I know she's got mobility, and she's got some sort of style and don't know more about her than that... I don't go and look at other peoples character sheets, since we, for the most part, have our sheets on the computers and use maptool and she normally sits opposit of me.

My stats are:
Str: 9
Dex: 20
Con: 9
Int: 11
Wis: 12
Cha: 10

Feats:
Alertness.
Rapid Shot.
Point Blank shot.
Improved Initiative.
Weapon Focus: Short Bow.
Improved uncanny dodge.
Deadly Aim.


Next time, he pats you on the head like that, sneak attack punch him in the region of his body that you can easily reach :)

File a formal complaint with the party leadership and demand compensation, as this treatment is not what you signed up for.

Play pranks on him. Harmless ones. Like replace his potions of CLW with vials of Alchemist's Fire, or so.


hahaha I guess I need something a little more... potent XD
btw it's a female, not a male monk :)
But the formal complaint is just amazing, that cracked me up so bad XD
and the last one... ooooh yes, could be something Lorastine would do, hahaha :D


Best thing to do is to wait for them to slip up somehow and then remind them of that everytime they make fun of you. Have a monk in our game that my bard doesn't get along with. The monk would have a lot over my bard (a harpy incident where the bard AHEM had to have the harpy) and constantly remind him of it. It wasn't until the monk got one shot by a huge crab when I'd be able to make fun of him. Now, whenever there's a remark about my plans not working or such, the bard just makes a crack about giant crabs (and drow poison. He's failed all drow poison saves). Tends to shut the monk up every time :D.

"This plan isn't going to work."

"No, it will, trust me! We are far away from any crabs and I'm sure they won't have drow poison there. Probably."

Every character will slip up, even that elf monk. Just wait for it and remind her every chance you get.


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The way to handle this IMO depends on whether you see this as an in character problem only, or if you also see it as an out of character problem also.

If out of character you feel uncomfortable with the level of potential player V player that the monk's player playstyle invites, then I would suggest discussing it and seeing if they would tone down their character's condescending attitude (at least for fellow PCs). This may not be a problem for you though.

For in character, if I was playing the bard I wouldn't be spending any of the bard's spells to buff or heal the monk. Also I wouldn't include him as an ally for the sake of bardic performances (if this bard uses them). If the monk asks about it I would respond that if he's so full of himself, he obviously doesn't need my help (or something like that). He would also inform her that she would get no such help until they treated him better.

For the rogue and monk you could keep "score" like Gimli and Legolas (from Lord of the Rings), make sure to include points for "rogue" activities like picking looks, finding traps, disabling devices ect..


I hope so for wow I go really mad at her.
I often feel very weak when I can't use the bow and when I have to resort to my dagger I can do s#$&.
She is ment to be at a range of her enemies and shoot at them, not be all up their head and stabby stabby them til they die.
But I belive our monk would just be like "okay *shrug*" if I mention her failurs, since the person who plays her IS like that.
She often play herself rather then her character in rolesplay.
And those sort of things don't really seem to bother her, not the keeping score thing at least.
She would propably just ignore it :/

Grand Lodge

Well, you are certainly seem the sneakier of the two. I am guessing though.

Be sure to play up your archery skills, and stealth ability.

Also, you can mention that your people never abandoned their own to run away to another planet, and there is no race of evil halflings.

Elves can actually become Drow, and you can tell the Elf that her that if she does not change her ways, that she may become a Drow.

Don't downplay her abilities, and state you are better than that, and are not cruel to those who are supposed to be your allies.

By the way, you should put an ability point into Con as soon as you can, and I am not sure why you took the Alertness feat.


I often down play my abilities since I never feel as awesome as others do (just my personality) so when the elf monk pulls a whooping stat on stealth, perception and acrobatics I feel really... horrible and like Lorastine isn't really that amazing ans she should be :C
Anyway I guess I just have to face that Lorastine IS amazing and she CAN do some amazing stuff...
Although I can always mention how the elf f@%#ed up with the trapped chest, the halfnaked bug-bear and

Spoiler:
the erotic drawings of her in a Foxglove's diary (huehuehuehuehuehue!)

Problem is that nobody in our group know that drows exist, so it wouldn't really work sadly :/
Also Lorastine wouldn't know the story about the elf's fleeing to another planet.

The alertness part... well... I don't even remember why I bought it in teh first place, hahah XD

Grand Lodge

Nobody has Knowledge:Local?

That covers humanoids such as Elves.
Besides, how does an Elf not know her own racial history?

Seriously, it would be hilarious if every time the Elf was being mean, you could say things like: "Somebody is looking a little dark in the face." or "Is that black spot on your arm?".

In the end, if it's all in good fun, then just roll with it, and don't let it bother you.

If it gets out of hand, or shows up outside game, I would talk to her, and let her know that it's not cool, and everyone is there to have fun.


Ah I'm prettu sure the elf know's her own history, sorry for the horrible post befor, it wasn't really all that well written, was it?
I have knowledge local, but no ranks in it, so I belive that Lorastine don't know anything about the elf history.
The reason to why I don't have any ranks in it, is because I forgot (from the very start) to add it to her skill list, stupid me, and haven't had the chance to add any ranks yet, due to lac of level up, and I don't want to re-arrange her skills after she have leved up, so I'll wait to she gaines another level.


Well you could take it good naturedly. Like a friendly challenge. Though it seems that is decidedly not how it was intended from what I can tell.

The formal complaint is a great way to go especially if you can leverage the Monks poor behavior into a situation where it infringes on the leader's honor. So that the backlash is aimed at the monk.


evil_diva wrote:


btw it's a female, not a male monk :)
B

Sneak attacking him in the lower regions will still seriously hurt. Its a misconception that only guys are sensitive there.

Grand Lodge

johnlocke90 wrote:
evil_diva wrote:


btw it's a female, not a male monk :)
B
Sneak attacking him in the lower regions will still seriously hurt. Its a misconception that only guys are sensitive there.

You would need to hit a different part of the crotch to be more effective, and aim right for the ovaries.


Well, this went to a dark place fast...

Grand Lodge

Well, dark comedy at least.


Odraude wrote:
Well, this went to a dark place fast...

Oh I see what you did there.

Hahah, nah I know it's not only men who can feel pain down there, the reason to the correction was because Quatar called her a him :)
If I had the strenght I could break her pubic bone, buuuttt.... 9 str, yeah good luck man!
Aaaaanyway... rubbing it in her face when she does something horribly bad would be awesome. She has f~~+ed up a dozen of times.
Huehuehuehuehue! Revenge shall be sweet and her clothing wet with pee!

Grand Lodge

Be sure to keep it all in good fun.
If it gets out of hand, or spills over into outside of game, then you may want to have a sit down with the player and/or DM.


I'll always make sure to take things over with the DM since he is my boyfriend, and whenever I'm in doubt I always ask him for advice, just to make sure I don't ruin anything for others (i've played with people who only did what they did to piss others off and make it hard to continue the game)
But I think the "rub it in her face" "tricks" an "formal complaint" is the way to go :)
lorastine WOULD f&$! her s##~ up, if she WASN'T a part of the party, but she knows' shell loose her contract with her party and therefor a good way to earn some cash.


evil_diva wrote:

Hahah, nah I know it's not only men who can feel pain down there, the reason to the correction was because Quatar called her a him :)

If I had the strenght I could break her pubic bone, buuuttt.... 9 str, yeah good luck man!

True, missed the "she" in the original post.

But the low strength is why I said "sneak attack" :)

However, from the other stuff you wrote since then, this might be more than just some IC spat, but actually something you should talk with the player of the monk about OOC.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

I would go Gimli vs. Legolas on her. Friendly rivalry. It'll be fun, and it won't lead to bad blood between the players.


Indeed friendly rivalry is the way to go.


So I just talked to the monk player, she said that her monk ment it as a joke towards Lorastine.

The problem is just that the monk isn't really good a jokes, and her way of being often leaves a very undefined line between her being serious and her joking. So people, more than often, can't really see the difference between those two things.

So I would say that Lorastine can only see it as an offense towards her, since the monk didn't say "It was a joke Lorastine" and Lorastine wouldn't have gotten so angry, had she known it was a joke.
She's oly been with the group for some months and the girl who plays the monk thinks that my character knows her character really well, simpu because of the knowing eachother for some months.
We haven't played at all where we talked about our families either i og outside the game, which is why I am let to belive Lorastine couldn't possible have see it as a joke.

She understands that Lorastine didn't catch the joke, and that her monk upbrinning have a huge influence in her way around other races and her social awkwardnes.
But hey, that'll lead to some roleplaying possibilites of them getting to know eachother better :D


The phrase I love to hate the most in RPG's is "It's what my character would do." The player must ALWAYS take responsibility for his/her character's actions and attitude!

I would definitely talk about it OOC'ly with the other player. Let her know that it's making it difficult for you to justify the halfling sticking with the party if she's playing her character that way. Work on her toning down the racism/snobbiness and you toning down your reactions to it. Alternately she can treat other halflings with disrespect but exclude the party members claiming off hand that she sees them like short elves.

Furthermore, in my games people are always transparent about their character's stats and abilities. I don't mean that you have to memorize everyone else's character sheet, but a general idea of what they can and cannot do is best the best way to have the party work together. As far as I'm concerned, the only person who should keep stats secret is the DM and no player should feel like they have a lesser place in the game.


Ah, good to hear the talk went well. My opinions above about "It's what my character would do" and player transparency still stand as something to remember though. :)

Shadow Lodge

Yeah, try to push this in the direction of friendly rivalry if you can. In particular, I'd keep the tricks harmless. Switching a CLW potion for alchemist's fire would turn this whole thing very nasty very fast and at that point you'd be in the wrong.

EDIT: If you file a complaint that'll tip off the monk IC that it wasn't received as a friendly joke, and that should help you two sort it out.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Yeah, you can use this incident to become better friends, both in and out of the game.

Especially if the player of the elf monk has trouble telling jokes, or getting her point across, or whatever, it's up to you to take what she says with a grain of salt. She apparently was just joking, so go with the joke. Instead of firebombing her potions, put extra spices in her stew.

I'm glad it's looking like the misunderstanding is being cleared up.

:-)


blackbloodtroll wrote:
Also, you can mention that your people never abandoned their own to run away to another planet, and there is no race of evil halflings.

what about the sniferfelbin or whatever theyre called?


AndIMustMask wrote:
blackbloodtroll wrote:
Also, you can mention that your people never abandoned their own to run away to another planet, and there is no race of evil halflings.
what about the sniferfelbin or whatever theyre called?

They're gnomes.


evil_diva wrote:

Hi here's the deal, we had just had a major encounter and we didn't win but the encounter withdrew back to it's layer and we were left bruised and badly wounded (well most of us)

I play a hafling rogue (wow how cliché!) and all of a sudden my hafling and the elven monk start to talk, I don't remember HOW it all happend now, but the monk manages to say to my rogue "Well at least I do more in the heat of battle than you do"

Now my hafling is a hired hero in this party and she even have a contract with them (all of the memebers of the party do)...

I would just reply " my contract specifically states I'm not supposed to out shine you in combat. I suppose our employer realizes that as an elf monk your ego is fragile and he doesn't want to incur the cost of resurrecting it."

The player may not care, but you'll know you won.


threads like this make me less willing to roleplay. people getting feelings hurt in and out of game due to rp decisions. its a bad carebear mentality that i see in a lot of people i dont normally play with.

i mean if im playing a dwarf or an orc, you had better expect s+%& talking and put downs. just put yourself in the mind set of " what happens in game stays in game, and what happens out of game stays out of game." then everything should be ok.


Jupp wrote:

threads like this make me less willing to roleplay. people getting feelings hurt in and out of game due to rp decisions. its a bad carebear mentality that i see in a lot of people i dont normally play with.

i mean if im playing a dwarf or an orc, you had better expect s$%$ talking and put downs. just put yourself in the mind set of " what happens in game stays in game, and what happens out of game stays out of game." then everything should be ok.

You would fit in great in my games. I'm playing a tiefling wizard who thinks the rest of the party are half wits. He has a charisma of 8 so he let's them know.

Sorry for the thread derail.

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