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BurritoMaker - A Kingmaker Campaign

Game Master MJinthePitt

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Open for character placement.

Lantern Lodge

Male Human (I think) Student 3/Bum 1


Top 3! First to say first!

M Halfling Dual Cursed Oracle 2

Okay, I am going to roll HP for my wolf.
HP: 2d8 ⇒ (5, 4) = 9

Edit: I love how that worked out perfectly for average...

My bear companion. I'm going to assume he gets full hit points for his first hit die, but let me know if i need to roll it.

1d8 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Male Half-Elf Druid 1

The druid!!!

You've received a notice to arrive mid-morning to Café Puanteur Mauvaise. The cafe is located on the South Rostland Road.

Here is the starting map. As I mentioned, the party will still need to explore the hex where Oleg's trading post is located. For the purposes of discussing where the party will be heading, consider Oleg's to be hex A5.

Kingmaker Greenbelt map - session 1


A few hours after the slaughter of the bandits Svetlana has managed to sweep away most of the blood stains. The area around where the bear traps were hidden looks as if the ground will be discolored for some time to come.

Oleg seeks out Leroy to further discuss the gear. "Best things to come out of this little," he pauses to glance at the dried black blood on the side of his wagon that sprayed from a severed leg and then starts again, "umm, this little situation was the horses and that bow Happs was carrying. I think I'm just going to hold onto that myself but ain't no one around here calling me a crook, I worked it into dis number. But anyways, best I can do on the equipment is about 500 in credit. That leather those boys were wearing didn't make it through your alls way of fighting. Deal?"

Oleg extends his hand to Leroy to shake on the offer.

Lantern Lodge

Male Human (I think) Student 3/Bum 1

Zavier comes up and hands him a squirrel brain "Deal"

Sovereign Court

Before Leroy can respond to Oleg, he is interrupted by Zavier. After looking at the brain in Oleg's hand for a second Leroy looks up at Oleg and says in a confused manner "Yeah... we have a deal." After the deal is struck Leroy and Orhan watch their traveling companion walk away with a WTF kind of expression on their faces.

Human Expert 2

Looking down at the bloody remains in his hand for a moment, Oleg drops the flesh onto the ground and then stomps it into the dirt with his boot heel. Grinding it into the ground he glances over at the departing Zavier and says loudly, "You keep this up boy and we might have a problem."

He turns to Leroy, "I do look forward to doin' business with you all. Could use a few hands around here too from time ta time if you got then inclination."

M Halfling Dual Cursed Oracle 2

Intrigued, Leroy responds "What kind of help are you looking for? Also please forgive the man, I don't believe he is completely right in the head. He means well, I think..." Leroy then looks down at the smashed squirrel brain on the ground, "He just doesn't know how to show it like normal people."

Male Half-Elf Druid 1

Tathar is out on one of his usual walks enjoying the day and giving thanks to nature when Dante gets a scent of something and trundles off toward the center of the trading post. Tathar follows and when they get to the scents origination, a brain mushed into the ground, Tathar sees his fellow companions and goes to see whats happening as Dante eats his new found snack.

" A fine day isn't it?" as Tathar greets the conversationalists. He asks about what was being talked about and then when an opening appears in the conversation Tathar turns to Oleg and asks " May i ask where your wife is? I'v been meaning to ask her for some cloth so i might make a sling."

Garret makes his way up onto the walkways of the battlements. He lazily walks the full length of the walls, hands crossed behind his head with a tindertwig in his teeth, taking in the view.

He stops to watch the hilarious spectacle of Zavier... well being "Zavier," still not quite sure if its genius or just plain crazy. Then the thought occurs to him that maybe he is just not enough of a "genius" to tell the difference. He shakes his head, symbolically emptying his mind of distracting thoughts, and continues walking.

He walks past one of the less damaged catapults, noticing the basket looks a lot like the comfy chair he used to have in his old place, minus the cushions of course. He takes a seat and watches the clouds as they slowly make their way across the sky. "Its not a bad day for a nap..." he mutters out loud pulling his cowl over his eyes. He folds his hands behind his head, adjusts the tindertwig into the corner of his mouth and drifts off to sleep.

Male Human Alchemist (Vivisectionist, Preservationist) 3

During the adventurer's day off, Zavier goes up to one of the corners of the fort and starts to disassemble the catapult with his crowbar. Anybody who passes by can hear the yelling of the alchemist going "Die foul contraption! Your time has come to an end! The time for rebirth is now!" Zavier then sorts through the wood to find the once that are not rotted through (and saves the ones that are for later or reversed depending if he made the check or not) as well as the nails that once held the catapult together.

After bringing them down to the front of the door in batches, he begins the task of repairing the fort's doors whispering to himself "I'd like to see those blood-sucking bandits get through my defences now..."

The day ends and Zavier steps back to proudly admire his work (whether he actually repaired it or damaged it is up to MJ) and suddenly realized he forgot something. He takes an onion out of his backpack and nails it to the middle of one of the doors. Now satisfied, he heads back inside for some well-deserved (or not so well-deserved) rest

Male Human Alchemist (Vivisectionist, Preservationist) 3

While exploring near the compound, Zavier suddenly scrambles off Archimedes and darts into a group of flowers. He reappears, beaming, holding a single purple flower in his hands. "This my friend is the Blue Dragon Flower! When ground up into a paste and digested, it is said to be able to treat almost any type of ache or pain known to man!"
His expression suddenly turns dark as he continues "Or this could be the Red Devil Rose. When it is digested by any humanoid, it will cause painful boils to sprout all over their genitalia which will eventually cause it to fall off."

Zavier seems distracted by this dilemma for the rest of the expedition...

Human Expert 2

To Leroy: "The swordlords sent down a couple of notices recently that I haven't had a chance to post yet. But really, you well on your way to one of them after what y'all did this mornin. Y'all just bring me proof of one more bandit going down and they got a big gold reward for ya."

Oleg rubs his hands together and pauses, "The other one is a bit trickier. Ever since Svetlana and I came here we knew there was a group of kobolds who lived down by one of the rivers. Some of the trappers told us they were pretty easy going. You know, for creepy little dragon'y things. But they got riled up over sumetin. Swordlords want em taken care of somehow." He stops again. "Y'all can take care of em how ya see fit, calm em down or just git rid of them."

Give me a Sense Motive roll.

When Tathar approaches Oleg quickly turns his attention to the half-elf. "This day definitely hasn't turned out like I was expecting it to yesterday morning dat's for sure." Out-of-character reminder: Yesterday morning Oleg would have been expecting to have faced the bandits without any support from Restov.

He jerks his thumb over his shoulder to Tathar's question. "Svetlana is back around near our place. If she ain't by the fire, you can knock and she'll be right around."

Zavier's "repair" work:

The door to the trading post is definitely more reinforced when you're finished, also a bit stinkier with the onion smashed against it.


Exploration of the area (Hex A5)

The party rides peacefully through wide grasslands for most of the day. Heading east from Oleg's there is a faint foot trail off into the distance. The bandits meandering trail of seven horses heads towards the south. It appears that until they'd gotten to within a few miles of the trading post they had been riding fairly hard.

Towards the end of the day a few members of the party pull their horses to a stop as a trail of huge clawed tracks are found gouged into the dirt.

Garrett, Sirnef and Tathar:
Give me a Knowledge Nature roll if you've got it.

You're able to identify the claw marks as something you've heard referred to as an "owlbear." You can describe it to the party based on this picture ... OWLBEAR

Also you realize from what you've heard of these creatures, these tracks are HUGE.

Anyone with a Knowledge Nature check over 15:
You've also heard of the creature Tathar is talking about ... owlbear

Male Half-Elf Druid 1

Before the party goes out on their scouting mission, Tathar goes to find Svetlana and ask her about that cloth she had mentioned. Tathar walks around back and to the fire where Oleg said his wife could be found. "Pardon the intrusion but I came to ask about that cloth you said I could have. A sling would be nice to have while out and about. Is that offer still up for the taking?"

Human Expert 2

Thinking for a moment Svetlana holds up a finger to the half-elf. "One moment and I'll be right back." She steps away from the kettle brewing over the outdoor fire and walks into the building she and Oleg use as living quarters and the trading post offices.

After a few minutes she returns and holds up a piece of fabric in both hands. "We had a sack break the other day and I haven't had a chance to mend it yet but you're welcome to it," she says indicating a ragged burlap sack with a corner torn out. "Or you could have this," she says laughing. Svetlana dangles a painted-flower print strip of fabric.

"It was left over from a dress I made recently but I haven't thought of what to do with it yet. Cute looking weapon if you ask me."

If you decide to take the dress fabric, feel free to decide on the color you want.

Male Half-Elf Druid 1

"I'm sure the dress looks lovely made from this pink fabric and it would be quiet a looker for a weapon to boot. I'll take it!" Tathar reaches out and takes the pink flower print from Svetlana and thanks her as he walks away to go make his sling.

M Halfling Dual Cursed Oracle 2

Sorry for the delay but here are my Sense Motive checks:

Leroy: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (10) - 1 = 9
Orhan: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

After hearing about the Kobols Leroy looks at Orhan to see if he thinks that anything is fishy about his story (because Orhan has a better sense for this stuff then Leroy). However, Orhan just sits quietly listening to Oleg un-phased by anything that was said. Trusting his loyal companion Leroy thanks Oleg for his assistance and proceeds to inform his companions about the other jobs while Oleg speaks with Tathar.

Leroy Quabb wrote:
After hearing about the Kobols Leroy looks at Orhan to see if he thinks that anything is fishy about his story (because Orhan has a better sense for this stuff then Leroy). However, Orhan just sits quietly listening to Oleg un-phased by anything that was said. Trusting his loyal companion Leroy thanks Oleg for his assistance and proceeds to inform his companions about the other jobs while Oleg speaks with Tathar.

Oleg strikes you as a guy who is pretty upfront and he didn't hesitate when describing the kobolds as not being troublesome.

After the wisp vanishes from the small island the mite starts chattering away.

"I could'a told yinz dat dey were dare but did any ah ya ask. Nah course yinz dinna ask me!"

"The little guy must be hungry again..." Garrett says as he walks over to the Mite pulling out a piece of wandermeal.

The mite watches Garrett as he walks closer. Garrett breaks off a piece wandermeal and as the Mite starts to complain, Garrett stuffs the piece of wandermeal in the Mite's mouth.

"There you go little guy. Don't worry I have plenty," Garrett says smiling.

Garrett then adds slowly, accompanied with exaggerated hand signals, "Would. You. Like. Any. More?"

The mite chews quickly with its mouth open, crumbs of the wandermeal spraying out. It finally gulps it down with a loud noise. Then stares at the halfling flailing its arms in front of him.

It babbles in its language and nods while narrowing its huge eyes at Garrett.

"Course I'd like sum more ya sunna b~~$!! Yinz dinna give me anny ting to eats all dai!"

Male Human Alchemist (Vivisectionist, Preservationist) 3

I'm going to play like I'm not lvl 2 until I'm back at the outpost

Zavier sighs and downs an aqua coloured potion he pulls from his satchel. Turning to the rest of the group, he says "Unfortunately I have some...SCIENCE to take care of so I must take leave of this exploration for a while. But if you have need of some alchemical services I will be at the outpost doing...experiments" , as Zavier looks as the mite. With that he casually tosses two potions at Leroy ( one cure light and one shield of faith +2) and goes on his merry way humming to himself a song that seems oddly familiar to some...

Sovereign Court

Zavier wrote:

I'm going to play like I'm not lvl 2 until I'm back at the outpost

Zavier sighs and downs an aqua coloured potion he pulls from his satchel. Turning to the rest of the group, he says "Unfortunately I have some...SCIENCE to take care of so I must take leave of this exploration for a while. But if you have need of some alchemical services I will be at the outpost doing...experiments" , as Zavier looks as the mite. With that he casually tosses two potions at Leroy ( one cure light and one shield of faith +2) and goes on his merry way humming to himself a song that seems oddly familiar to some...

Starring at the potions he has just been tossed and then looking up to watch Zavier walk off into the distance Leroy looks around with a confused look on his face. Speaking to no one in particular Leroy says, "Does anyone else get a little scarred when ever he talks... or looks at you with those... I think you would progress science eyes... or when he does anything at all actually?" After a brief pause he places the potions in his bag and says in a very quite and monotone manner "If anyone needs these just ask."

Sense Motive 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

"No? No more? OK, your loss." He turns walks off while eating the rest of the wander meal as the Mite, no doubt, yells in protest after him.

Garrett walks over to Leroy, watching as Zavier walks off.

Leroy Quabb wrote:
"Does anyone else get a little scarred when ever he talks... or looks at you with those... I think you would progress science eyes... or when he does anything at all actually?"

Garrett visibly shudders. "Yeah he is a creepy one all right. I'm glad he is on our side... I hope..."


As you and the mite ride north, away from the party, for several hours skirting the edge of the wooded area where you left the others. The sky grows darker as you're entering the plain where you encountered the trap door spiders. You notice a rise a short way to the east and a simple campfire burning next to a copse of trees.

M Halfling Dual Cursed Oracle 2

Give me all the lvl 2 HP!

Leroy: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5
Orhan: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

Lantern Lodge

Male Human (I think) Student 3/Bum 1

Zavier is ecstatic at the acquisition of his new "toy" and continues to march through the night until he can no longer see, ignoring the campfire and making a beeline for the outpost.

Male Human Alchemist (Vivisectionist, Preservationist) 3

A couple hours after getting to the outpost, Zavier calls the party together. He then proceeds to plop the loot they have acquired over their travels on the table in order to figure out how to divide it.

The Treasures have been sorted and neatly labeled into three piles:

Magic Items
Boots of Elvenkind
Scroll of Fly
Wand of Burning Hands (CL 2, 4 charges)
Wand of Magic Missile (CL 3, 28 charges)

Mundane Items
Small Cold Iron Masterwork Sickle
Medium Masterwork Dagger
Ring with pearl in it
Silver Ring
Green Gem worth 25 gp
Vial of poison (1d2 Strength damage for 1d4 rounds Fort DC 14, 1 Save ends)
Journal of Kobold/Gnome
13 PP, 1807 GP, 507 SP, 193 CP

Important crap
Treasure map
Bandit's silver amulet

Male Human Alchemist (Vivisectionist, Preservationist) 3

A day after the party arrives at the trading post, Zavier gives Oleg a list of items to procure for him. He chooses this time not to waste a precious squirrel brain.

List of Epic Procurement:

Alchemist's Laboratory
Carpentry Tools
Wrist Sheath (spring-loaded)X2
pigs(live) X3
Salt (1 lb)
Whiskey (6 pack)

After finding the hidden cache from the treasure map the party returns to Oleg's trading post. Stopping a few hours short of the trading post to rest for the night, the party arrives mid-morning at the trading post.

It has been 13 days since the party departed the trading post. We will pick up the game on Thursday at noon "a day after the party arrives at the trading post" per Zavier's above post. Feel free to post any actions you'd like to make before that time.

You continue to have the same dream each night. When you settle in for a night of rest at the trading post without having to worry about setting up a watch, you're awoken three times by the dream. Each time it becomes more intense.

Male Human Alchemist (Vivisectionist, Preservationist) 3

Zavier spends the night at the outpost studying the journal and the spellbook.. for science of course...

Male Half-Elf Druid 1

Tathar walks up to Oleg soon after Zavier talks to him and asks Oleg to get what is on Tathar's list as well. After handing him the list, Tathar asks if there might be a suitable area to set up a distillery where no one will disturb it so that he might get back to one of the things he enjoys about civilization.

List on bark:

-Cooking Kit
-Alchemist's Kit
-Seeds from at least 10 different plants. (Tathar cares not for which type of plant as he wants to use any type to try and find the "perfect" combination. This will also help Tathar figure out what species can grow in this climate)
-Jar of Honey x5

Human Expert 2

Svetlana takes a few moments away from cooking a meal over the open fire near the table where Zavier has spread out the party loot. She wanders over to the table and looks over the items.

Her eyes widen as she spies something on the table and pauses for only a moment before she snatches up the simple brass ring with the embedded pearl. She closes her hand around it and runs off calling out.

"Oleg! Oleg! These wonderful people found my ring!"

Zavier wrote:
Zavier spends the night at the outpost studying the journal and the spellbook.. for science of course...

Zavier is able to decipher the following spells from the partially destroyed spellbook: identify, mage armor, reduce person, silent image, and unseen servant.

Tartuk's journal:
The following is a copy/paste of information about Tartuk's past.

Tartuk is a destructive
force—a murderer and a maniac who finds a perverse glee
in manipulating his kin into self-destructive spirals of
fear and madness. He’s ruined two kobold tribes already,
and hopes to add the Sootscales to his list soon. Tartuk’s
appearance is as unusual as his loathing of kobold
kind—his scales are a deep purple, unlike any other
kobold. In fact, Tartuk was not born a kobold—he was
born a gnome. He was killed in a fight against a group
of ogres who were tormenting his village, but his
accidentally heroic sacrifice was enough to give his village
a chance to defeat the ogres. The village, sorrowed by
Tartuk’s death, unanimously voted to restore him to
life—so they decided to use a scroll of reincarnate that had
sat in the village treasury for years. In an ironic twist of
fate, poor Tartuk came back as a kobold.

Scandalized, the village didn’t know how to react.
Tartuk did—he hadn’t meant to give his life to save
the village (he’d actually been trying to surrender to
the ogres and offer to help them destroy the village in
return for sparing his life, but the ogres crushed him
before he got his offer out), and now they’d turned him
into one of the most hated of monsters—a kobold! The
fact that his new scales were the same deep purple as his
hair in his previous life served only to ensure Tartuk’s
shame. Enraged, he fled into the woods, only to nurse a
deep grudge. He found a tribe of kobolds, joined them,
used his magic and manipulative lies to rally them, and
led his new army in an attack against his old village. The
resulting battle was furious, and only Tartuk survived.
That was fine with him.

Since then, the mad kobold has drifted through several
River Kingdoms, periodically haunting towns and
murdering gnomes he finds and at others insinuating
himself into kobold tribes, taking them over from within,
and then driving them to extinction by forcing them into
wars they can’t possibly win. The Sootscales are but Tartuk’s
latest project. He uses a combination of lies, magic, and his
favorite tool—a non-magical statue of a devil—to seize
control of a tribe. He’s become quite skilled at convincing
tribes that the statue is magic and that it will curse the
entire tribe if the chieftain doesn’t follow its commands—
commands, of course, that only Tartuk can hear.

Human Expert 2

Day One

Later in the day after Svetlana had snatched up the ring and went running off calling for Oleg, he comes seeking out the gathered members of the party.

"Where did y'all find that ring? Ya didn't say nothing about finishing off any other bandits! That b!@*$ that runs that two bit gang stole that from Svetlana the first time dey came through here. I was gonna offer you all some kinda reward for that thing the next time ya came through but you were all just gone for so long figured you were never coming back!"

He thinks for a minute. "Hows bout another thousand in trading post credit sound? We're doin a bit better he now that you run off some of those bandits but we ain't flush with coin yet."


Day Two

Oleg takes a look at Zavier's list of items he's interested in procuring. His eyes linger at a pair of items for a moment and then continue on without saying a word. "I think we can do this. Gimme bout a week and we'll get this stuff. I'm expecting one of my regulars to be passing through tomorrow and den he'll be heading back north. He can pass along this list to mah guy up there." The owner of the trading post then heads away from Zavier quickly.

Guess I could have asked if he wanted to borrow my tools. Nah, probably best not.

A few minutes later Oleg speaks with the half-elf regarding items he's interested in as well. "Definitely not a problem for this stuff friend. Ya might want ta just check with Bokken about these seeds ya want. He's just east of here a few hours. And come tah think of it, I haven't seen him in a bit."

He scratches his chin and then gestures towards a back corner of the trading post ("northeast"). "If ya want, you can set up your rig under the cateepult stand. The weapon is trash but the ground under the overhang stays pretty dry."

Sovereign Court

Once returning to the Trading Post Leroy goes into the stables. After setting down his bag he carefully pulls out the egg that he took from the Mite cave and begins to make a nest for it. While building the nest Leroy starts to talk to Orhan, "Hopefully when this hatches it doesn't try to kill us... then we can use it to help us explore!"

After some time carefully constructing the nest Leroy proceeds to tell Oleg that he is attempting to hatch an egg and would appreciate it if Oleg could help a bit while Leroy is out with his other party members. When asking for help Leroy avoids all attempts by Oleg to identify the egg by immediately changing subjects or diverting his attention.

Human Expert 2

After checking out Tathar's list of items closer he seeks him out to ask a few follow-up questions.

"Hey my friend, how big of a cauldron are you looking to get? Depending on what you're interested in brewing up I might be willing to kick in a few coins here if I can sells some of it here at the trading post." Oleg raises his eyebrows and smiles.

"The trappers around here don't have much call for paper. Svetlana's been using the same journal since we got here. How much paper you lookin for? Oh, and what are eye glasses?"

Lantern Lodge

Male Human (I think) Student 3/Bum 1

does anybody else have umd? If not Zavier is going to take possession of the wands and whatnot.

Lantern Lodge

Male Human (I think) Student 3/Bum 1

Zavier comes running back up to Oleg after Tathar is done waving his arms and shouting.
"Eureka!! I forgot my good man! The most important items I require!
He scribbles down a couple more items on a different sheet of paper and hands it to Oleg then runs away as fast as he came.

List of Epic Procurement MK II:

Butterfly Net
coffee pot
Filter Hood
Smoked Goggles
"Insert Sciencey things for Craft(Alchemy) checks here"

Male Human Alchemist (Vivisectionist, Preservationist) 3

Zavier takes a couple days to set up his lab, grabs some stuff from the surrounding area, and start crafting.

1d20 + 9 ⇒ (14) + 9 = 23

Alchemist's Kindness
1d20 + 11 ⇒ (7) + 11 = 18

M Halfling Dual Cursed Oracle 2

After returning to the Oleg's and speaking with the newly arrived cleric, Leroy retreats to Zavier's Lab where he gathers one of the Centipede eggs. He then takes it to the stables and begins to pray over it for the rest of the night. Leroy prays to Gozreh, asking him to bring minimal sentience (1 Int) to this Vermin that it may be used to assist Leroy in protecting nature and all of its blessings. In the morning, after praying for the entire evening, Leroy rests.

Once rested Leroy speaks to Zavier to see if he is interested in providing alchemical goods so that Leroy may try and sell them. After Zavier agrees, Leroy searches Oleg's for a piece of wood that he can use as a sign to advertise the healing and alchemical services. Leroy ventures just outside the walls and sets up his tent and attaches the sign to it just opposite the guards encampment. Leroy sets any goods that Zavier brings him inside the tent and invites any passerby's into the tent (preferably using diplomacy if possible) to view the wears (when there are some) or offers them healing services.

Leroy will not mark up any prices and attempts to sell all goods and services at fair market value (ie. the costs listed in the books for the associated prices).

Also, for the Giant Centipede I'm looking for enough Int so that it can be trained (essentially acting like a purchased riding dog or guard dog, not an Animal Companion).

MJ, just let me know if you need me to make any rolls.

Sleep deprivation here, I can't remember specifically who had ability point damage. Pretty sure it was Tathar, right? If it wasn't then just insert the proper name below.

Despite having just met the members of the party, as a matter of good faith that they will locate the lost temple to Erastil, Jhod seeks out Tathar to pray over him for the loss of his companion and attempt to heal his injuries.

Jhod kneels down next to you and begins mumbling a prayer to Erastil.

Lesser Restoration - Dexterity > 1d4 ⇒ 2

Seeing you perk up a little the old man smiles. "Kneel with me son. Pray with me to the Hunter." Then he begins his mumbled prayers again.

Lesser Restoration - Strength> 1d4 ⇒ 4

He presses a palm into the ground for balance and slowly stands. "Perhaps we can pray together again tomorrow and walk these lands around this fort."

Through SCIENCE you're able to locate some leafed plants you think will assist you in brewing Alchemist's Kindness. Typically the ingredients of the alchemist's remedy are salt-like but you succeed in creating something that is helpful in alleviating hangovers.

It also however randomly reduces either Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution by 1d2 points for 6 hours and puts the drinker into a euphoric state.

Go ahead and give me a DC roll with the following bonuses - Wisdom, Divine Favor (if you kept it), and Knowledge Religion if you happen to have it. This is your prayer.

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