What did that one annoying player do?

[Brigadoon]

Let’s be clear, this isn’t a worst player ever thread. It’s meant to be a bit lighter than that, but I was thinking on my own past experiences and was wondering if you all had any you’d want to share.

I’ll start with a few:

-The “take everything test isn’t bolted down” character. A barbarian that literally just picked up everything and was always the first to yell “I loot the body!” To try and train him out of this habit, the gm just started all the bodies having ridiculously mundane, useless gear. Didn’t work in that game, but he did get better eventually.

-Player gets an enchanted weapon through a deal with a street vendor (put something valuable in the pot, get something valuable out). Realized the only way they could have received this weapon is if it had been stolen from the local museum or something like that (well known weapon, like historically famous). Player spent 15 minutes patiently and earnestly explaining to the gm how he could sell the bow back to the city for a massive profit with the gm patiently explaining that no, this is a well known artifact, they would just take it back and imprison you for having it. Discussion ended when gm said player could either keep the bow or not.

Any stories you want to share?

[Tim Emrick]

Back during the last couple years before COVID disrupted in-person play at our FLGS, we had a PFS 1E player who was fairly new to the game, and struggled to keep straight all the rules that impacted how his characters worked, particularly those involving action economy. It got fairly annoying to have to remind him of the same rules, session after session, but he did slowly get better.

Then one night, he asked, in his usual slightly confused way, "Can I charge and Vital Strike at the same time?" When one or two of the other regulars started to bristle, clearly about to go off on him about trying to combining standard actions again, he stopped and cackled. He had learned enough about the rules, and had enough self-awareness about how irritating his struggling along had been, that he had deliberately baited them!

[Mightypion]

But, Gorrums swordsmanship?

Dumb stuff I have done recently as a player:

--Try to court Nocticula and one of her Champions at the same time

--In an evil campaign: Steal the Antipaladins Emo Poetry, copy it, put it back, steal a printing press, make a lot of copies using the printing press, sell the emo-poetry, find out it sells well in the Abyss, setup a triangular trade involving Emo Poetry and Demon Drugs, derail the perfectly normal way of the wicked campaign with a multiplanar drug war.

--Use a Geyser for locomotion

--Get shot out of a cannon (surviving with relative ease)

--Convince an Infernal-Mimic that being a Cultist Bed is funnier, sign a contract to solve its mobility issues.

[keftiu]

I had a player drop a whole new culture on me in session 0 of a campaign… after we had already made seven nations in a worldbuilding game, agreed to focus on three of them, and had me spend a month making a bespoke setting within that world.