Ah. I don't really watch the news. Not since the time they seriously spent time speculating that the missing plane might have been sucked up into a black hole.
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Brollerth took one look at the body and cocked his head. “Is that, like, the captain? He’s still smoking. Uhh, did I do that?”
Jazier shook his head. “No. This tragedy wasn’t of your making.”
Gwen just sat by her uncle’s side, numbly staring at his lifeless face, barely recognizable from the fire damage. She was so out of it, she didn’t notice the strange stick Douglas had pulled out to pick his teeth with. Nor did she notice as Halgra began barking orders.
“I need a report,” she said. “And we need to get someone over to light the Inner Gate Beacon.”
“We already handled it,” Omast reported.
“Good. What of the Hopespring Beacon?”
“I don’t know,” Omast admitted.
“We need someone to…” She trailed off as her eyes fixated on the girl sitting there, lost to the world. “Gwen!” she said, her voice booming as she demanded attention. Gwen turned to look at her, but otherwise barely acknowledged the older woman’s presence. “I know it’s hard, right now, but I need you to focus. I need someone I can count on to go light the Hopespring Beacon.”
“Why me?” the girl complained.
“Because I will not have you sitting here, waiting to die. You are stronger than that, even if you don’t know it. You will either live, or die fighting. I need someone with that spirit. Someone who can save this town, and keep it from being taken by these a*#&+*@s.”
Unbidden, the words of the woman from the dream came to Gwen’s mind. “Your kids will likely be among the last generation of true half orcs, so there’s that.”
“No,” Gwen said so softly that no one could hear her as white-hot rage filling the emptiness in her heart. That was NOT going to happen. She stood up, her knuckles white from how tight her grip on her gun was. “Tell me what I need to do.”
“I need volunteers to go with her,” Halgra said to the others.
“You can count on me, Chief Chief,” Lucky Days said, reaching high into the air to make sure she was seen.
“I am ever at the service of those who would stand against evil,” Qumeel said.
Kermit hopped to his feet. “Tough times never last, but tough people do.”
Valbrand clapped Jazier on the shoulder. “If Kermit’s going, we’re going too.” Jazier, for his part looked resigned to the fate of being dragged along. He was probably going to die, but that was likely his fate here too. What difference did it make where he fell?
Douglas set down the stick he was picking his teeth with and retrieved a bag. “Uhh, uhh, hey guys! You maybe want a toothpick before you go?”
Valbrand looked into the bag. “These are wands!” the big man exclaimed. Douglas had so many of them. He knew he had little chance at guessing the value of the contents of the bag, but it was a veritable king’s ransom. He reached in and grabbed one. It was already chewed, but that wouldn’t affect the effectiveness of the wand, so he tucked it in his belt.
Lucky Days went ahead and grabbed one, carefully picking up one that hadn’t been chewed. As she carefully wiped it, she wasn’t watching where she was going, and bumped into Jazier, who stumbled back and slipped on the wand Douglas had set down, falling flat on his backside. “I think that one’s choosing you! You should take it!” Douglas exclaimed picking it up and holding it out to the wizard.
Jazier got to his feet and rubbed his sore back. “Thanks,” he said as he took the offered wand, carefully avoiding the parts covered in spit.
“Gwen, take one too,” the strange man insisted. “Never know when you’ll need one.”
The girl grabbed a wand as well, luckily getting one that was devoid of chew marks. If nothing else, she could use it to power her rifle, so she stowed it in her belt pouch. As she did so, Kermit began walking over, but was stopped by Brollerth, who held out a skull bomb. “This is much better than a toothpick. Make the bodies rain, frog man.”
Kermit nodded and took the offered bomb, inspecting it carefully. “Alas, poor orc, I did not know you,” he said before putting it away.
“Douglas,” Halgra said.
“Yes, boss?” he asked.
“Take Brollerth and go deal with the catapults.”
Douglas sighed. “A professional’s job is never done. Good thing I’m perfect. Let’s go, Brollerth.”
Gwen looked to her own rag-tag band as the pair left. “I guess we should get going too.”
Halgra stopped her. “Gwen, remember, the beacon is priority, but try to save anyone you can.”
The girl nodded. “Right.”
The group moved somberly through town. The stench of death assaulted their nostrils the entire time. Gwen felt physically ill. She had dealt with smaller orc raids, and the threat was a constant of her life, but this was on a scale she had never expected.
The others were similarly affected, all for their own reasons. It was easily visible on their faces, from the hard set of Qumeel’s jaw to the way Lucky Days’ eyes darted around, alert for the slightest motion – the first sign of arriving enemies. Only Kermit – face hidden behind the glowing mask of the Guyver – was unreadable. And only Valbrand seemed to be taking an academic interest in the affair. It wasn’t his first raid, though it was the first time he was on this end of one and was thus a new experience all its own.
The deafening amidst the din of battle was broken by the sound of a scream. “Agrit?!” Gwen gasped in recognition. But she had barely said it when Lucky Days bolted in the direction of the sound, quickly arriving at a burning home. She looked inside and spotted the dwarf woman doing her best to hold back a massive lizard that was trying to get at her and the lifeless form of another person trapped under a burning beam that had collapsed.
“Get away from her!” the girl shouted, charging forward and slashing at the lizard with Sakura-chan.
Outside, the others finally caught up. Valbrand hurried inside to help, but before the others could follow, Gwen and Kermit spotted several orc ambushers leaping up and preparing to charge. Gwen took aim and fired, but her gun jammed. It was a rare occurrence, and likely caused by her failing to take care of the weapon in the chaos of battle, and it terrified her.
But Qumeel stood between her and the charging orc while Kermit charged the chain-wielding orc coming from the other side. In a panic, Jazier used the wand he was given to coat the weapon of the orc facing Qumeel with magical grease. Gwen considered his action and drew her own wand, boosting the power of Qumeel and Lucky Days’ attacks by enhancing the sharpness of their weapons, using her position in the doorway to reach both targets.
The orc facing Qumeel swung, but changed the arc of his blow at the last minute, his axe biting deep into the cleric’s side. Qumeel crumpled from the blow, lying lifeless on the ground.
“Gods! He’s dead!” Jazier wailed, doing the only thing he could think to do and covering the ground underneath the orc’s feet with more grease. Gwen fumbled with her gun, trying to clear the jam and bring down the orc, but her hands were shaking from a combination of adrenaline and fear.
Inside the building, Valbrand leapt onto the lizard and swung with all of his might, his axe biting deep into the back of the creature’s skull. It twitched for several moments, but then stopped moving. “Please!” Agrit begged. “Help Sarah!”
Lucky Days nodded and cast Sakura-chan aside, lifting the beam with the entirety of her anger. Valbrand hopped off of the lizard and helped the dwarf pull the half-orc woman clear as the small but powerful girl dropped the burning beam.
Outside, Kermit bit into the shoulder of his foe as his claws slipped into the orc’s gut. The jagged talons pierced into intestines and he yanked them out. He then took the slick, rope-like organs and wrapped them around the orc’s neck, pulling tight until he heard the sound of his foe’s neck snapping.
“Kermit!” Jazier shrieked. “Qumeel’s in trouble!”
“I, Thundoor, dedicate this sacrifice to the chieftess!” the orc shouted as he raised his axe.
Time seemed to slow as Kermit charged the orc, and inside, Valbrand heard the sound of the wizard’s shout. He scooped up Agrit, who had collapsed from her injuries, and carried her with him as he ran outside, dropping her just outside the door.
Kermit slammed into the orc just in time to prevent the blow as Gwen’s bullet merely glanced the orc’s shoulder. The orc swung again, but the grease finally caused his axe to slip from his grasp. Desperate to take someone with him, he bit Qumeel, who winced in pain in his unconscious state.
“He’s alive!” Jazier said, noticing the expression. “We can still save him!” he launched a small bolt of electricity at the orc as he shouted.
Lucky Days finally got Sarah the rest of the way outside and noticed the sight. “Oh no! Qumeel is down!” she screamed. She dashed forward, trying to pull Qumeel’s unconscious body away from the orc, but the foe’s hold was too strong.
The orc reached his hands out, grasping the cleric’s neck. One quick wrench and it would be over. His brutal gods would count his death as a good one, having fought to the last to take one more enemy with him. His satisfaction shone in his eyes.
All Gwen could hear was her own heartbeat as she finished reloading and took aim. This was her last chance. Kermit was fighting with the grease Jazier had put upon the ground and couldn’t get a good blow in to stop the orc. Jazier was useless, Valbrand wasn’t close enough to get there in time and Lucky Days’ efforts to pull the cleric away might actually help the orc finish the deed. It was up to her.
She swallowed, blackness surrounding the edges of her vision as she focused on one thing, and one thing alone. She exhaled and pulled the trigger…
…and the orc’s skull exploded in a spray of blood, the shards of the back of his skull splattering all over Kermit.
Gwen collapsed to her knees as the adrenaline wore off. Jazier rushed to Qumeel’s side and began pouring a potion down the cleric’s throat, causing Qumeel to cough.
Lucky Days pulled out the “toothpick” she had been given and handed it to Valbrand. “Will this help?” she asked.
The warrior inspected the wand. “This will help a lot, actually,” he said, using it first on Qumeel’s wounds, then heading back to heal first Sarah, then Agrit. Unfortunately, it didn’t have many charges left. But it helped.
From where she sat, trembling, Gwen spotted the form of a goblin in the shadows down the street. But she was too worn out to do anything other than let the others know.
Jazier surveyed the battlefield as Qumeel started to get up. He pointed to the first orc Kermit had killed. “Why his intestines? Why not strangle him with his chain?” he asked.
The grippli shrugged. “His intestines were already in my hands.” Jazier could not argue against that.
Back on his feet, Qumeel used his power to heal everyone a bit. As he did so, Agrit took Gwen’s hand. “Thank you!” she said, blinking back tears. “You saved her. You saved us!”
Kermit came over, holding the axes he’d taken from the fallen orcs. “I hope you do not need these. But having and not needing is better than needing and not having.”
Sarah nodded. “We can make it to the nearest shelter. Any advice on where to go?” she asked Gwen.
“Halgra and Tyari have the survivors holding position at the barricade over that direction,” the girl answered.
“So Halgra made it?” Sarah asked. “What of Katrezra?”
Gwen shook her head. “Someone stabbed him to death in his cell.”
Sara’s jaw clenched. “I see. I’m sorry Gwen, but I blame your uncle for this. He hates our kind and lost his head.”
“But his head is still attached,” Kermit chimed in. “Technically, he burned to death.”
Sarah’s smile came unbidden at that, but she saw Gwen’s crestfallen face and felt bad. “Come on, Agrit. Let’s get to the barricade.”
Qumeel approached Gwen, the only one he hadn’t spoken to yet. “You have my sincerest thanks for saving me.”
“You’re welcome,” Gwen said weakly. “Come on. We have to get to the beacon.”
They continued onward, but it wasn’t long before they found more signs of malfeasance. People – humans! – were looting The Killing Grounds. From outside, the group could see multiple bodies, including that of Rabus Clarenston, the proprietor.
Only, Rabus wasn’t dead. Movement from his eyes made it clear that he was only playing dead.
Kermit drew out one of the potions he’d taken from the orcs and drank it. “I’m going inside to help him,” he whispered as he disappeared from sight.
Gwen nodded. “We’ll go in as soon as we see him moving Rabus,” she told the others.
Inside, the looters were laughing. “Look what I found!” one proclaimed, holding up the squirming form of a female goblin by the neck. They quickly set to work making a bit of sport, preparing to hang Tipi as she squirmed, unsuccessfully trying to free herself as they wrapped the rope around her neck.
Kermit reached Rabus and whispered. “We’re going to save you.” Rabus nodded slightly in answer.
Rabus rose into the air as Kermit lifted him, and Lucky Days charged in, Sakura-chan crackling with electricity as she struck one of the looters. As she did so, he let go of the rope holding Tipi. Lucky Days then swung instinctively at the falling goblin, cleaving through her neck in a single blow and sending blood wafting through the air in a spray like falling cherry blossoms.
As she hit the ground, Tipi finally released her hold on the doll she’d so desperately clung to.
“Ghosts!” one of the thugs shouted, not even noticing Lucky Days as he stared at the seemingly floating corpse before him. Kermit was making croaking sounds and filling the air with steam as he did so.
The others fell in short order, no match for the band of angry warriors they’d encountered, though one of the thugs died with a smile after getting a look up Lucky Days’ skirt as he fell. The girl stabbed him in the eyes with Sakura-chan. “It’s rude to look up there!” she shouted.
“Gwen, what’s going on?” Rabus asked the half-elf.
“You don’t want to know,” she said, ducking to the side as Qumeel flung his sword into another thug. The final thug tried to flee, but Lucky Days was in no mood to let him escape. He didn’t make it more than five feet out of the door.
“Well, thank you for saving me,” the proprietor said to the group.
“Can you make it to the barricade?” Gwen asked, giving quick directions.
“Yeah, I think I can make it. Please, take anything you want from the shop. And if we make it through this, all of you drink free here for life.”
Valbrand smiled at that. Free drinks sounded good to him. He then spotted something and knelt down, scooping up the doll. “Huh. I bet Rodd would like this,” he said as he tucked it into his belt pouch. He couldn’t help but laugh as he turned and noticed that Jazier had taken to cleaning up the mess.
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Barroom Blitz:{. . .} “Alas, poor orc, I did not know you,” {. . .}
Win.
** spoiler omitted **Win.
Kermit's just a nice dichotomy. Silly or deep some times, but a vicious machine of gory murder others.
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Valbrand listened. “That’s the signal to regroup. Our side has done some damage, at least.”
“If they’re regrouping, they’ll all be in one place,” Kermit noted.
“Good,” Gwen said. “Then Rabus will probably be able to make it to the barricade safely.”
“I hope so,” Valbrand said, surprising the girl. “I intend to take him up on his offer of free drinks after this is over.” And just like that, she wasn’t surprised anymore. “Come on, he said to take what we wanted. Let’s see if there’s anything we can use.”
To Gwen’s consternation, Valbrand, Kermit and Lucky Days immediately began searching the shop for things to loot. She was about to chide Jazier for joining them, but when she went inside, she found him cleaning, rather than looting. In truth, she realized he was doing both, looting the bodies of the dead as he moved them to the side of the room near the door for Qumeel. She almost said something, but decided against it, instead helping Qumeel tend to the piling and burning of the bodies of the thugs they’d killed.
Inside, Valbrand kicked open the door to Rabus’ private quarters, and the trio began searching. They found a few useful objects in the pile of things Rabus had confiscated from rowdy drunks – Valbrand grabbed several well-made throwing axes – but the real treasure was found by Lucky Days. Under the floorboards, the girl found a hidden cache containing a fair amount of gold and silver coins, as well as other valuables.
Then she put the loot back and replaced the floorboards. They were there to take things that they could use to fight the orcs, not steal the man’s life savings. Valbrand might have tried to convince her that it was better they take it than leave it for the orcs to find, but he hadn’t noticed her find while he looked over the weapons.
Their looting was interrupted when Gwen came inside. “The drums are getting louder. I think they’re coming closer. We need to get moving.”
Valbrand tucked one of the axes into his belt. “Alright, let’s go.”
As they moved through the town, doing their best to avoid drawing attention as they did so, they began noticing several peculiar things about the bodies. The first was that many of the wounds were made by thrusting weapons and the tissues showed signs of frostbite, but other wounds appeared to be caused by the claws and teeth of some kind of animal.
“Dogs?” Lucky Days asked, remembering her earlier encounter.
“Those would be some really big dogs,” Jazier answered.
Valbrand shook his head. “I have seen wounds like this before. The orcs have tamed a bear, I would wager.”
The other peculiar thing they noticed was that, while there were quite a few bodies of men and even children, there were almost no women or girls among the dead. Gwen really didn’t want to consider the implications of that.
“Wait!” Jazier gasped. He rushed over to a body. “It’s Silvermane! I think he’s still breathing!” Qumeel came over and healed the man, whose ragged breathing became calmer, though he didn’t awake. “I’m sorry. I guess the assassins came for you too, huh?”
Silvermane didn’t answer, naturally.
“Should we take him back to the barricade?” Lucky Days asked.
“I do not believe we have time to tarry,” Kermit said. “But perhaps we can hide a tree in the forest?”
“What do you mean?”
The grippli pointed to a pile of corpses. “If we lay him among the dead, no one will be able to tell the difference.”
Gwen considered it. “It’s as good a plan as any, and we are short on time to act.”
“We should have someone scout ahead,” Valbrand said as he carefully moved the old elf. “Kermit, do you have any more of those invisibility potions?”
“I believe I do,” the grippli answered, fishing through his pouch. “There’s one.”
“Give it to Lucky Days,” the warrior said. “She should be able to scout quickly, see what the situation looks like at the drums, then return safely so we can decide whether to ambush them or sneak around.”
“I can do that!” the girl agreed. “But I have a potion already that I can use.” So Kermit instead gave her the skull bomb he’d taken from Brollerth. “What’s that for?”
“You’ll know the reason when you see it,” the grippli answered sagely. In truth, he had no idea whether she would need it or not, but he figured it was better to have and not need it rather than need and not have it. He just wasn’t keen on wasting the time explaining that.
“Coach was right,” the girl said, beaming. “You are really smart!” She tied the bomb to her belt and drank the potion, then bounded off towards the sound of the drums.
Lucky Days bolted through town, as swift and as invisible as the wind, making her way towards the sound of the drum. It was only by luck that she spotted a hidden figure in the shadows within a building she passed as she approached the tower that seemed to be the source of the sound. And it was only because of her invisibility and the booming of the drum masking her sounds that he missed seeing her.
She then spotted another figure watching from a hole in the wall of the tower. She made her way around the building to the other side and carefully opened the door, making her way inside. The room was dimly lit by the light coming from the stairs above, but she was able to make out the form of the woman – at least, she had a feeling it was a woman – by the small window as well as a number of bound and terrified women and young girls.
She wasn’t sure if she could get the women out safely, so she decided to make the most of her time remaining invisible and hurried up the spiraling stairway. Up top, she found six figures. In the center of the open area was hunchbacked orc, who was busy beating the drum. Watching him was a bear woman of some kind. The other four were humans dressed like the woman downstairs and appeared to be watching in all directions.
To her surprise, she recognized two of the black-clad figures. One was the man from the jail, but the other immediately drew her ire. Anger boiled right behind her eyes as she saw the face of the woman who had pulled down her skirt the other day. Didn’t the woman know how dangerous that was? What if one of the men had seen her underpants? Then she’d never be able to get married and her mother would disown her.
Deep down, she knew she should leave the five and return to her companions to tell them what was going on, but she had to do something before leaving. But what? The apparent leader of the group, the bear woman, was arguing with the hunchback. But even distracted, the bear woman looked far too dangerous to take on alone, even if it weren’t for the other four assassins.
Then it dawned on her. She carefully untied the skull bomb and slid it under the drum and lit the fuse. She would have maybe twenty or thirty seconds to escape. So she then dashed and leapt from the tower.
Magic is a funny thing. You see, if she had thrown the bomb at someone or something, her invisibility would have faded immediately. But she had simply set it down and lit it. So the cosmic powers adjudicating such an event decided that it simply did not count as an invisibility-shattering attack until it exploded and hit something, much to Lucky Days’ benefit.
She landed still running, continuing her sprint until the explosion happened and the drum stopped. Luckily for her, the others were just coming into sight at that time. “What was that?” Gwen asked.
“Women! Kids! Drum! Grenade! Bear!” Lucky Days panted as she struggled to catch her breath.
Back at the tower, the hunchback had been thrown back by the explosion. Of course, since there was no one else there to blame, he immediately began calling the assassins all sorts of unkind things as he got to his feet. Of these, “traitor” was perhaps the mildest.
But the bear woman – a skinwalker – wasn’t having it. She drew her axe across her claw menacingly, daring the hunchback to keep talking. Tensions were high, and it was a powder keg waiting for one more spark. A very distracting powder keg.
Lucky Days explained to the others everything she had seen as they made their way to the tower. It was Valbrand who came up with a plan. Once agreed, they all began to play their parts.
First, Kermit took his remaining invisibility potion and made his way across the clearing. Once he reached the door, Lucky Days and Qumeel bolted after him while Valbrand charged into the shop on the side of the road and began facing off with the lookout.
As Jazier and Gwen followed after them, one of the men in the tower – the very same man they had put in jail earlier – spotted them. “The target is here!” he said, drawing his shortbow and firing an arrow into Jazier’s shoulder.
Jazier panicked and looked for a solution. Immediately, his mind struck upon something. He faked a cough. “I’m sorry, Gwen, but I do not think I can go on. This arrow has struck a vital artery! I fear I am not long for this world. Avenge me!” he shouted as he stumbled forward and collapsed, conveniently falling behind the cover of the building’s walls.
“What is he on about?” Gwen asked, returning fire and injuring the archer. His return volley caught her in the arm. It wasn’t a deep wound, but it hurt and would make it difficult to shoot for a bit. So she dove behind the building with Jazier.
“Too obvious,” the wizard pretending to be a corpse whispered. “They’re certain to know you’re alive.”
Gwen ignored him as she bandaged her wound and reloaded her weapon with the wand Jazier was holding out to her.
The commotion proved to be the spark that ignited the powder keg, and the hunchback struck out at his “allies”, planning to make them pay for looking down on him. Unfortunately for him, he was outmatched and fell quickly, succumbing just as Lucky Days reached the top of the stairs. She dodged past the others and made her way straight to Asha, the woman who had wronged her, and slashed her in half with Sakura-chan. From the ground, all anyone could see was a spurt of blood that wafted to the ground like glistening cherry blossoms.
In the base of the tower, the assassin on lookout had noticed as Lucky Days ran past, and moved to the stairs to see what had run by. She didn’t even notice the arrival of Kermit before she felt sharp pain as the grippli tore her spine out and hit her aside the head with it.
“Sound the alarm!” the skinwalker roared. But before she could move on Lucky Days, Qumeel reached the top of the stairs and took down the archer that had been firing at Gwen and Jazier. In a moment of hesitation, she realized that her two remaining allies had both fled, leaping off the top of the tower. Qumeel slashed at the man near him in vain, and the assassin, whose name was Lupin, though none of his “allies” had bothered asking, made a clean getaway, though not before firing off a flare to alert his allies throughout the city.
This was not as true for the archer closest to Lucky Days. While she did manage to evade Lucky Days’ strike, it caused her to fall incorrectly, and she twisted her ankle. And more than that, she landed no more than a few feet from Valbrand, who was covered with the blood of her comrade from the storefront. She tried to attack him with her alchemical ice blade, but he simply encased his hand with frost from his enchanted armband and caught the blade. It shattered with a twist of his wrist and he struck her with his shield.
“You are bested!” he said. “I do not have to kill you. Stay down!”
She saw no other way out. If she tried to flee, he would kill her. So the woman, Varela, held up her hands. “I surrender!” she said, fighting back a tear of frustration that was hidden from the warrior’s view by her ebon locks as she dropped to her knees in submission.
The bear charged Lucky Days and tried to push her off the tower, but the horse girl used Sakura-chan to brace against the tower’s edge, avoiding being knocked off. She then dodged away and slashed, but missed. The movement also caused Qumeel’s thrown sword to miss the skinwalker, though it did manage to strike into the floor, skewering the still spurting torso of Asha as it did so.
“What do you see?” Jazier asked Gwen.
“Lucky Days is fighting some kind of were-bear or something,” the girl answered, taking a shot and scoring a glancing hit against the skinwalker’s tough hide. “Wait, something else is happening.” The door to the tower opened and terrified women and children made their way out, having been freed from their bonds by Kermit. Gwen stepped out of cover and sweeped the area with her gun, looking for dangers before motioning the women and children over.
They recognized her, of course and immediately began making their way to her.
As she watched, Gwen noticed something strange. Bright red hair. She had only seen hair like that once before. Had the woman her uncle wanted arrested as an accomplice been one of the prisoners? Then she looked closer. No, it wasn’t her. It was an elven boy, barely an adult. Either the idiots had mistaken him for a female, or… well, Gwen didn’t want to think about what other reasons they had for taking him if they knew he was male. Orcs were not known to be kind to elves.
But she didn’t recognize him, and she made a point of learning about all elves who came through Trunau. That meant he couldn’t have been there long. To arrive and get caught up in all of this suddenly had to be terrifying for him.
Up on top of the tower, Gwen saw Lucky Days take a glancing blow from the she-bear’s axe before dodging back swiftly. She could also hear Qumeel chanting a prayer, asking his god to bless someone. By the sound of the roar that followed, that someone was likely Kermit.
“Is it safe to come out now?” Jazier whispered.
“Oh for the love of – Help the kids!” Gwen said to the wizard.
The fleeing children, curious as to who she was talking to, went around the side of the building. “It’s Ruby’s magician!” one of them said.
“Not so loud!” the wizard chided. “I’m pretending to be dead.”
One child tilted her head quizzically. “You’re not very good at pretending, are you?”
Jazier quickly chanted a cantrip, giving himself discolorations like bruises and covering himself in dirt. “There, is that better?” he asked.
“A little,” the girl admitted as several of the other children began to mimic him in playing dead.
Up top, the she-bear’s eyes glowed – as did her bracer – as she swung at the charging Kermit, missing narrowly. Lucky Days saw her opportunity and dashed in, scoring a blow that missed anything vital, but still drew a lot of blood. The bear roared angrily.
Downstairs, a couple of the women were helping Valbrand tie up his captive. “A real warrior would be up there dealing with the monster, not dealing with a captured, defenseless woman,” the assassin said with a grunt as she was pushed to the floor and her hands bound.
Valbrand smirked. “My presence is unnecessary. You made a miscalculation. Our monster is much scarier than yours. Still, I guess I should head up to help with looting the corpses.” He looked to one of the other women. “I promised I would spare her life if she surrendered,” he said. What he did not say was that he had made no such promises for anyone else. What they would do was none of his concern.
Only the bound assassin caught his meaning. “My name is Varela. You would make a good Wolf,” she called after him, impressed in spite of the danger to herself.
Gwen noticed multiple flares throughout the city, answers to the one the fleeing assassin had fired. “This place won’t be safe for long. Lucky Days!” she called out. “I need you as soon as you get a second!”
“I’ll be down in a sec!” the other girl called back.
Gwen nodded, even though the girl couldn’t see her. “Round up the children,” she told one of the rescued women. “We’ll escort you to safety momentarily. We’re going to have to move quickly.”
“Is there a safe place?”
“A relatively safe one,” Jazier answered, his eyes still closed in feigned death, causing one of the children to laugh.
Up top, the she-bear had abandoned her weapon, going fully feral and attacking Kermit wither her claws and teeth. But his thick skin easily deflected one of the claws and teeth. Only a single claw struck true, and only did enough damage to catch on his hide.
Kermit answered by biting into the arm that grabbed him, tearing a massive chunk from the bear’s flesh. She let go and stumbled back. Surrounded by enemies, she made the only choice available and tried to flee, jumping towards the edge.
“Oh no you don’t!” Lucky Days shouted, dashing forward and slashing the woman midair. The blow pierced the bear’s back and went in through her heart, but did not stop her forward momentum. As she sailed through the air, her body reverted to that of a woman with pale hair, dark skin and glowing tattoos that were fading as she fell.
The body landed with a wet sound a few feet from the assassin, who was now on her feet and being led away. She noted the bite wound, how the entire bicep had been torn out. “I guess their monster really was scarier,” she whispered in amazement.
Lucky Days wiped her blade and hurried down to Gwen as Qumeel healed Kermit’s wounds and retrieved his sword. “What do you need?” she asked.
“Can you carry me and still run fast?” the half-elf asked.
“Um, not as fast as normal, probably.”
“Faster than I can run?”
“Oh! Yes, probably much faster than that.”
“Okay, you’re coming with me, then,” Gwen said. She turned to Jazier. “Lucky Days and I are taking the women and kids to safety. Have Qumeel show you to the Hopespring. We’ll catch up.”
“I know the way,” the wizard answered, though Gwen did not acknowledge it, already moving to lead the others to safety. She motioned for the women to follow her.
As they passed the alley where Jazier lay, still pretending to be dead, Varela smirked. “Well, at least we got the target,” she said to herself. “So it wasn’t all wasted.”
Once the others made their way down from the tower, the four men began moving forward. As they traveled, something became evident, though it was Qumeel who finally said it. “The stream that runs through town appears to be drying up,” the cleric noted.
“Do you think they dammed it up?” Jazier asked.
“If so, we will need to attend to that. The defenders will need water to continue on. We should hurry to the Hopespring.” As they traveled, they spotted a number of tracks, including those of a creature much larger than an orc. Perhaps an ogre, or some kind of giant. Just the kind of muscle one would need to quickly construct a dam.
But it was worse than they feared. The stream wasn’t dammed. No, someone had broken open the wall of the Hopespring, revealing a cave and causing the water to flow downward, rather than into the town.
Jazier looked around at the stone debris lying everywhere. “I hope no one expects me to clean that up,” he said, sighing. “Who am I kidding? Of course they do. Alright, I guess I’ll get started while we wait for the girls to catch up.”
Also, my GF(Steve's sister) will be moving in with us sometime in the next couple months. Which we'll probably be celebrating by starting a new campaign, because we're idiots. On a hilarious note, my character is a paladin who has some kobold slaves(it makes sense in context, it's just a legal thing, he sees them as a group of children too stupid to care for themselves but the only way the law would let him take care of them was to officially make them slaves). And my GF? She was talking about wanting to play a kobold, not knowing any of this. :P
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Oh well. What's done is done and now I have time to put my wall scrolls up and open up/shelve all my boxes of DVDs and books. :P
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Finally, another session! The winter drought is over. Of course, I still have to write it up. But...soon(tm). :P
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“Should we go in and investigate?” Jazier asked as he cleaned.
“No,” Valbrand said. “We should wait.” He was motivated by caution, and not at all by the desire to pull out one of the bottles he’d taken from Rabus’ shop and have a drink.
“At least we can light the final beacon,” Qumeel said as he approached the pile of wood. “Wait. What’s this green stuff?” He smelled some of the residue on the wood. “It smells like it might be combustible. I don’t like it. This could be a trap.”
“You said green?” Valbrand asked, approaching. He gave the substance a whiff. “Smells of turpentine, only sweeter. Let me think…yes, there’s a story of such a substance. A clever gnome used something like this to make his goblin captors blow themselves up. It was described as green, and made of the resin of a fir tree they had tied him to.”
Qumeel carefully scraped some of the substance off and onto a rock. “Jazier, is there anything you can tell us about this?”
“Let me see,” the wizard said, approaching. He tripped as he walked, and in his start, he spoke the words of a cantrip, causing the resin in the priest’s hand to explode. Had his hand not been covered by a leather gauntlet, the priest’s hand would have been seriously burned. And had his hand been closed around the rock, they would have had to search clear across town for the bits of his hand that survived the explosion. “Sorry,” the wizard apologized. “My control is a bit off. I should probably lie down for a few minutes.”
“It’s fine,” Qumeel said. “Just be more careful.” He turned to Valbrand. “Do your stories tell of how to clean this substance off of the wood? There’s no way we can light the beacon like this.”
Valbrand thought for a moment, then his shoulders drooped. “There is one,” he said with a sigh. “The substance is made from the same source as turpentine, but the process to create it is different. So it is not a cleaner like the other. But there is something that will dissolve it.” He produced first one, then several bottles of the alcohol he had taken from Rabus. He handed them out and then took a swig of the remaining bottle. “Let’s get to work, I guess.”
Meanwhile, Gwen was keeping an eye on the captive assassin as she and Lucky Days escorted the rescued women back to the relative safety of the barricade. She knew that until they reached the others, they were incredibly vulnerable. And if they were attacked by the orcs, the assassin would become a liability. She wasn’t sure whether she should shoot her now or not, but had ultimately decided against it due to the noise it would make.
And thankfully, it was a moot point, as they reached the barricade without further incident. Omast was the first to spot them. She could see relief wash over the older guard’s face as he spotted more survivors arriving. “Thank the gods you’re okay,” he said. “Where are the others?”
“They’re moving towards the final beacon,” Gwen said. “We’re supposed to catch up to them once we’ve gotten these people safely here.”
“Just the two of you? Isn’t that dangerous?”
“I’m fast enough to get us there safely,” Lucky Days said cheerfully.
Omast laughed, surprising himself. “I can’t argue with that,” he said. “It’s good to see that even a few more made it.”
“Any word from Kurst?” Gwen asked.
Omast shook his head. “Nothing yet. But don’t you worry. Kurst can handle himself. Your uncle did a good job of teaching him that much.”
Gwen nodded, still feeling uneasy. “You’re probably right. He’s got to be okay.”
“You should tell Halgra about what you found before you head out.”
The girl considered it. “You’re probably right. We can spare the few minutes it’ll take to report in.”
The two young women bid Omast farewell and made their way through the camp, passing Tyari – who was treating Sarah’s burns – along the way. As they approached Halgra, the saw she was talking with the former captive, who was gesturing wildly. From what she could make out, he was describing what he’d done to the various orc siege engines outside of town.
“…and thanks for sending Douglas and Brollerth,” Rodd Rigez added. “It’s been a while since I’ve worked with true professionals of their caliber.”
“I’ve long ago learned that if I want to keep my town safe, I need to point those two at orcs and not attempt to restrain them,” Halgra replied. “Oh, Gwen, I heard you were back with more survivors. Rodd, will you give us a moment?”
“Of course,” he said with a slight bow. “My condolences for the loss of your uncle,” he said to Gwen as he passed. “Come, Lucky Days. Let’s give them a moment. It looks like you’ve been through a lot. Good for the legs. Let’s see a lap.” He slapped the girl’s backside, and she kicked behind her instinctively, sending him sailing twenty feet through the air. He landed with a roll, coming to his feet and bowing for the laughing children.
“Sorry, Coach!” Lucky Days said, running off to do her lap.
“That is a strange man,” Gwen said.
“He is,” Halgra agreed. “But he’s also quite possibly responsible for giving us a shot at surviving this attack. Tell me, what do you have to report?” Gwen filled her in on the events since they’d last spoken. “Wow. I’m thankful that you found them. I shudder to think of what fate was in store for them had you not done so.”
“Right. Well, we should get to the beacon,” Gwen said. “Qumeel should keep those others in line, but they might need help anyway.”
“Wait. I was thinking you should take Rodd Rigez with you. He’s a bit odd, but we can’t argue with his effectiveness.”
The girl sighed. “I guess we could use the help. Though adding another person will slow us down a little.”
There was a sudden commotion at the entrance to the barricade. “What’s going on now?” Halgra asked. “Will you check it out?”
“I’m on it,” Gwen said, readying her gun. But, to her relief, it wasn’t danger that had caused the commotion. “Kurst!” she exclaimed in relief upon seeing her cousin entering the encampment. He was carrying the limp body of the old elf, Silvermane.
“Gwen, thank the gods you’ve made it through so far. Give me some help here?”
“I’ve got him,” Omast said, interjecting himself into the reunion and carefully taking the old elf from Kurst. “What happened to him?”
“I don’t know,” Kurst answered. “But someone threw him on a pile of corpses.”
“That sounds like something Valbrand would do,” Rodd Rigez said.
Lucky Days seemed to appear at that moment out of nowhere, out of breath. “Why do you say that?” she wheezed.
“Kermit always says that the closer you are to danger, the further you are from harm. So rather than carry him back, you hide him where none of the attackers would think to look. Classic Valbrand.” He pulled out a potion and carefully poured it into the mouth of the unconscious elf, who began to cough and sputter a bit. “I know, it’s bitter stuff. Here, let’s put this under your tongue.” He put a leaf in the elf’s mouth.
“So, cousin, what have you been up to?” Kurst asked.
“We just returned with some captives we rescued. We’re about to head out to rejoin the others.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“If Halgra says it’s okay, I won’t turn down the help.”
“Let’s ask, then, and get on our way.”
As they walked away, Lucky Days turned to Rodd Rigez. “What’s the leaf do?”
“Good question. It’ll be interesting to find out. Now go ahead and head to the Hopespring ahead of us. We’ll catch up, but they may need your help now.”
“Okay, Coach!” she said, already dashing along.
Lucky Days reached the group at the Hopespring in a few moments. When she arrived, Kermit was waving his hands over Jazier’s hair. Apparently all the lightning he threw around had given the sleeping wizard an ongoing static charge, causing his hair to stick up towards the passing hand.
“Ooh, neat!” Lucky Days said, heading over to join the grippli.
Valbrand, noticing the arrival of the girl, stopped what he was doing and went over. “Wizard!” he bellowed. “Wake up! There’s cleaning to be done.”
Jazier sat up, and looked at the warrior. He sighed. “I’m cursed.”
“You’re not Kurst,” Lucky Days responded. “I just saw him at the barricade. He’ll be coming here soon, with Gwen and Coach.”
The others, not nearly as fast as Lucky Days, took a fair amount of time to make it safely through the town to the party waiting at the Hopespring. When she arrived, the first thing Gwen noticed was that the Hopespring Beacon had been disassembled, with all of the logs lying in neat rows, stacked from largest to smallest. “What are you doing?!” she asked. “We need to light it.”
“Calm yourself,” Qumeel said. “We discovered a trap, and are cleaning the logs for reassembly. Though I must admit that I had not considered pulling the beacon apart to thoroughly clean it. That was Jazier’s idea.”
“Why do you smell of alcohol?” the half-elf asked suspiciously.
“It is the only thing that will clean the substance. We got as much as we could, but now are having to resort to Jazier’s magic. Which is why we had to pull apart the beacon.”
“Alcohol, you say?” Rodd Rigez asked, eyebrow raised. He turned to Valbrand. “Goblin Sap?”
“Yes,” the warrior said. “We scraped off what we could into an empty bottle for you.”
“Good man.”
“I think I’m done,” the wizard said, finally.
“Let’s hurry and get the beacon back together then,” Kurst said. “Then let’s see what lies down that tunnel that draws the orcs’ interest.”
With that many hands, the work went quickly and they were soon within the tunnel. From somewhere ahead, they could hear a rumbling growl and the sound of flesh being struck by something hard. The impact was enough that dust and pebbles fell from the ceiling even where they were. “We’re close,” Rodd Rigez said. “Shall I do talking torch again?”
Valbrand grinned. “That sounds like just the thing. Go for it.”
Rodd Rigez nodded, and lit a fresh torch as the others snuffed their own. He then quaffed an invisibility potion and headed down the tunnel, the others following just outside of the torch’s light.
To the orcs waiting down the tunnel, it was quite the sight. A torch simply floated towards them in the darkness. They stared in confusion as the torch approached. Those closest to the giant watched it, looking for signs that the creature would be spooked by the event, which could spell danger for all of them, as the corpse of the orc lying smeared upon the floor of the cave attested.
“Allies!” Rodd Rigez said in a monotone voice. “This torch has been enchanted to warn you of approaching enemies. This torch advises that two warriors will be enough to handle the threat.”
The orcs huddled, and Rodd Rigez listened carefully. “Skreed didn’t say anything about this,” one was saying.
“But it is the kind of thing he would do. Skreed always thinks three steps ahead. He’d definitely set a warning.”
Rodd had what he needed. “Skreed has ordered all warriors to heed the torch’s warning. Again, this torch must advise that enemies approach. Two warriors will be sufficient to halt this threat.”
From their position, Valbrand could see them coming easily. He suddenly got an idea. He motioned to Kermit, who powered down and hopped on his shoulder. Then he cast a magical light on his shield. The bright light between them would help hide the rest of the party from the approaching orc, even as they took cover, and the shield would block the light from washing over the others.
“Careful, brother!” Valbrand called out in orcish. “Enemies are coming. We fended off the first wave, but more will arrive soon.”
“Too bright!” the orc complained. “Stop waving that light. Did Skreed send you? Or are you reinforcements from Grenseldek?”
“Sorry about the shield,” Valbrand said. “Stupid enemy mage who followed me into the cave put in on there to hurt my eyes, so it’s only fitting I share that pain with my brothers. It’s only fair, since you got first chance at the spoils and the women.”
Kermit laughed. “That’s a good one.”
The orc squinted. “Is…that a frog?”
Valbrand smirked. “I trained him to slay my enemies.”
“Shame. I was hoping you’d let me eat it.”
“Worry about your hunger later. You know Grenseldek won’t want you wasting time while there’s work to do.”
“Like that lovesick b&~+# cares. She only cares that we work, not if we eat.”
Valbrand shrugged. “Yeah, that’s how it is.” He trudged forward, just far enough to see around the bend. The orc was wary, but not enough to stop him. From his new vantage point, he could see the torch and the giant. “Ooh, do you think the big guy will eat my frog? Should I keep my distance?”
“Crusher?” the orc asked. “He’s docile now, since he has friends he hasn’t broken yet.” At this, Valbrand noticed that a number of orcs were chained to the giant. He also noticed that one of the orcs was carefully waving his axe around the torch, trying to see what was holding it up. It was clear that Rodd Rigez was dodging the motion silently and easily.
“Continue to guard Crusher,” Rodd Rigez said. “This torch’s enchantment is almost over. This is Skreed’s order.” He began slowly lowering the torch towards the ground.
“Told you it was Skreed,” one of the giant’s handlers said in satisfaction.
As the orc began moving past Valbrand, the warrior gasped. “Do you hear that? They’re coming!” He spun, flashing the light in the orc’s eyes as he did so. “There they are! Quick! Go get Crusher! I’ll hold them here!”
Gwen aimed and fired, grazing the orc’s cheek, and he ran. But dazzled and spooked, he missed Kermit’s action. The grippli had tied a skull bomb – now with added Goblin Sap – to the orc’s belt, and had lit it. The panicked orc ran straight towards his fellows.
“Enemies are coming!” the panicked orc shouted. “And it’s more than two!”
“This torch has been enchanted to warn you of approaching enemies,” Rodd Rigez repeated. “This torch advises that two warriors will be enough to handle the threat.”
The orc that had been investigating the torch found an arrow in his gut as Kurst loosed his bow. The giant’s handlers retaliated by throwing javelins mostly ineffectually into the dark, though Gwen was grazed by one. “We fight together!” the investigative orc said, snapping the shaft of the arrow. “Protect the torch!” As he shouted, a flaming sword flew through the darkness, missing any foes and landing in the mud.
“This torch’s enchantment has ended,” Rodd Rigez said. “Skreed has a blessing for you.” He uncorked a vial of the powdered Goblin Sap, tossing it into the air. It wafted all about.”
Jazier, finally putting everything together, gasped in amazement. “I see what you’re doing! It’s a bomb!” He snapped, accidentally casting a spell and igniting the base of the skull’s fuse, setting it off immediately and igniting the cloud of Goblin Sap, which exploded with a green fire. Rodd Rigez was narrowly able to escape injury, but the investigative orc wasn’t so lucky.
He died trying to shield the “magic” torch with his body.
Lucky Days charged through the dying conflagration and slashed an orc. Its blood spattered all over her. “EWW!” she shouted.
“That’s why I keep telling you to work on your arms!” Rodd Rigez chided.
Valbrand launched Kermit off of his shield. The grippli flew through the air, shouting, “GUYVER!” as he did so. He landed on the torch, smashing it into the mud as he roared.
Kermit’s roar spooked the giant and one of his handlers swung desperately at the transformed Grippli with his axe, sending blue-green blood flying from a new wound on the suit’s shoulder. Rodd used the confusion to knife one of the orcs in the kidney, while Jazier tried to zap Kermit’s foe with lighting, but missed.
Lucky Days dashed over and slashed Kermit’s attacker, but Crusher picked the orc up and swung it at her. He hit her with a dull, wet thud, his eye popping from his skull and hitting the girl square in the nose. “ICKY!” she complained.
Qumeel charged through the cave and grabbed his sword, and Valbrand followed after. The warrior stopped when he noticed that the orc he’d been talking to was miraculously still alive. “Sorry friend. I’m sure that hurts a lot. Let me help.” He brought his axe down, ending the orc’s suffering.
One of the handlers fed the giant a healing potion. “DRINK! If you die, we all die.”
“You don’t have to die,” Valbrand said. “You could just surrender.” Then Rodd Rigez chucked an alchemist’s fire in the giant’s face. “No. I guess you’re not going to after that, are you?”
Jazier, Gwen and Kurst continued peppering the giant with lightning, bullets and arrows respectively. The giant swung the rock in its hand, braining Lucky Days. She collapsed, but was caught by Qumeel. His body shone as though he had become pure light. “Not today, young one,” he said gently, lowering her to the ground.
Valbrand rushed in and held his shield between Lucky Days’ unconscious body and the attackers. “I’ll heal her,” he said to the cleric. “You help the others.”
Kermit leapt up, clawing off the giant’s shoulder, leaving its arm a hanging pile of meat. Then he flipped over the giant’s head, biting into the tendon between the giant’s neck and other shoulder.
Crusher collapsed onto the remaining living handler, life fading from the giant’s eyes. As Valbrand helped the now awake Lucky Days to her feet, he noticed that someone had written “Murder with love, -Ma” on the rock in the language of giants.
“Sorry about the chaos there,” Rodd Rigez said. “To be honest, it went better than I thought. I didn’t think it would work.”
“What?!” Kurst exclaimed.
Valbrand and Kermit exchanged a glance and the grippli shrugged. “It didn’t work last time,” Kermit admitted.
“I told you that next time Kermit had to be on my left shoulder next time,” Valbrand said. “That’s all that was wrong with it.”
“Right,” Rodd Rigez said with a nod. “Next time, we should do ‘throbbing minstrel’.”
Both Kermit and Valbrand recoiled in horror. “NO!” the two protested as one.
“Is it always like this?” Kurst asked his cousin.
“More or less, yes,” Gwen answered.
“Halgra does not give you enough credit.” He shuddered. “And I thought Douglas and Brollerth were bad.”
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Just wanted to give an update. We've been a lot more consistent playing, but unfortunately, with this whole lockdown thing...well, my work has been deemed essential, but not essential enough to keep on an entire crew. We're down to a handful of people, so, basically, what I'm saying is that time I normally have to write has been mostly devoted to doing two other people's jobs. So, that's been fun.
The good news is that I have many weeks of material to type up, just... no time to do it. I mean, I could spend more time on it at home. And I probably should...but that brutosaur isn't gonna farm itself.
Barnaby, on the other hand, has had some free time, so he's been doing some drawing and working on other things. And he just finished something I thought I'd share, as it's relevant to this story.
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I feel your pain. I have been redeployed from my normal Modern Necromancy Life Sciences research job to working >48 to >52 hour weeks in the coronavirus testing lab, on the graveyard shift. This is the first thing I have had that is not a family medical emergency or death that might have caused me to have to bow out of a campaign, assuming that I could have ever gotten into one in the first place . . . .
I feel your pain. I have been redeployed from my normalModern NecromancyLife Sciences research job to working >48 to >52 hour weeks in the coronavirus testing lab, on the graveyard shift. This is the first thing I have had that is not a family medical emergency or death that might have caused me to have to bow out of a campaign, assuming that I could have ever gotten into one in the first place . . . .
I'm not one to condone cheating, but if you could fudge a few of your research rolls to nat 20s, we'd appreciate it. :P
^The problem with that idea is that if you fudge your rolls (even assuming you don't get caught), it only benefits you.
^The problem with that idea is that if you fudge your rolls (even assuming you don't get caught), it only benefits you.
No, you're thinking of rolling bluff and fudging your results to SAY you crit successed. I'm saying you fudge your rolls so the GM gives you the correct answers.
"Nat 20 with 5 skill ranks, a +4 Int Modifier and, oh, it's a class skill, what do I learn?"
GM: "Damn, that's enough to synthesize a cure that's quick, cheap and effective. Welp, I guess we're done with this campaign. Start rolling up your characters for Hurricane Season." :P
^The problem with that idea is that if you fudge your rolls (even assuming you don't get caught), it only benefits you.No, you're thinking of rolling bluff and fudging your results to SAY you crit successed. I'm saying you fudge your rolls so the GM gives you the correct answers.
{. . .}
But that's the thing: Despite having numerous bugs, our world has some very sophisticated anti-fudging mechanisms. In another world simulator, the results of doing the above and thereby running afoul of these would be known as Paradox.
But that's the thing: Despite having numerous bugs, our world has some very sophisticated anti-fudging mechanisms. In another world simulator, the results of doing the above and thereby running afoul of these would be known as Paradox.
Kyle would do it.
Or solve the problem with Nanites. :P
So, Barnaby pointed out to me that I never posted the last Giantslayer journal I'd written(back during my last attempt to start catching up). Posting in a few minutes.
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The grippli was correct, and soon they spotted the troll torturing a familiar looking orc within an underground pool. “Please! It’s not my fault your sister died! There were too many of them!” the orc pleaded between sessions of having his head held under the water by the irate flood troll. “Skreed! Help!”
The party watched the scene, they noticed tracks leading to the south that appeared to belong to some kind of animal. The path to the north contained boot prints. Jazier sighed quietly. “Let’s not go north,” he said. “I bet there has to be some kind of mess I’ll be told to clean up.”
“Interesting,” Rodd Rigez whispered. “I’m going to go check it out. Wait here.”
Sneaking through the darkness, he soon came to an area where the natural stone and dirt floor smoothed out, giving way to worked stone. The walls did the same. It was clear that someone had put time into this. And where people put time into working stone in places like this, that usually meant treasure, in the man’s experience.
But it also meant traps. And no sooner had he approached a large statue when it began to move, and even in the darkness, Rodd Rigez could see that it was an animated skeleton. And if that hadn’t been bad enough, a pair of shadowy rats fell out of its ribcage. “Well, s~*%,” he breathed, dodging as the skeleton swung the two halves of a massive broken spear at him.
Back at the edge of the water, the others had decided to intervene. Gwen opened the attack with a shot, getting the troll’s attention. The orc took the opportunity to get a breath. “Please! Help me!”
Kurst loosed an arrow and Lucky Days charged, causing the troll to drop the orc and react. Meanwhile, Rodd Rigez was fleeing for his life, dropping caltrops as he ran.
Kermit charged forward, grabbing the troll with both claws. The jaw of his suit unhinged and he tore off the troll’s face with a massive bite before dropping the limp corpse in the water.
The orc struggled towards the shore of the pool and lie there for a moment. Qumeel approached. “You were the one who set up that bear trap, weren’t you?” He stabbed his blade into the ground next to the orc’s head. “I was NOT fond of that trap.”
The orc was so out of it from lack of oxygen that he didn’t even realize what was said. “Thanks for saving me.”
Valbrand reached into the shallow water and yanked the orc out. “Let’s get you on the shore,” he said with a good natured laugh.
From the north, they heard a cry. “GOBLIN TEA PARTY!”
“What’s a goblin tea party?” Gwen asked.
“Rodd’s in trouble,” Kermit said, rushing off in that direction.
“It means there’s a large monster and a number of smaller monsters,” Valbrand explained, casually tossing the orc on the ground. The injured orc grunted in pain as he landed. “Like a teapot and a bunch of accompanying teacups flying at your head.”
“So it’s big? Then I’ll aim high.” Gwen shot into the darkness in the direction of the sounds.
As she shot, Lucky Days ran into the darkness to help her Coach. Kurst was startled by the speed of the girl as she blasted past him, seemingly unslowed by the muddy ground. She reached the injured man, the ghostly rats hissing at her in the darkness. “Eww!” the girl shrieked.
“What’s going on?” Jazier asked, absentmindedly imbuing Gwen’s gun with the power of lightning.
Lucky Days grabbed the injured man and rushed away, receiving a slash across her arm for her trouble. “Ghost rats and a big skelly man!” she huffed.
Gwen attempted another shot, but her gun jammed. “Fall back!” she said. Valbrand stepped up and raised his shield to cover the retreat, just beyond the edge of the tiled floor, nodding at Kermit as the grippli bounded past.
Then something strange happened. The rats continued past the edge of the tiles to engage the waiting warrior, but the giant skeleton stopped in the torchlight, not stepping beyond the worked floor. “It’s not following,” Gwen noted as Jazier zapped a rat with a jolt of electricity.
They made quick work of the rats, who turned to goop as they fell. They then took time recovering from their wounds and formulated a plan. “It’s workable,” Rodd Rigez commented. “But are you sure you wouldn’t rather we do Throbbing Minstrel?”
“I would like to do something that doesn’t involve having to shave off all of my shorthairs,” Valbrand answered.
“I’m just saying it would work.”
“So will this,” Kermit said, donning his suit and grabbing the rock marked with the language of giants, which had been coated in the remaining Goblin Sap and a sticky substance. Valbrand then hurled a lasso into the corridor and the grippli shot off into the darkness.
The giant skeleton reanimated and struck the grippli, but he managed to stuff the rock into its ribcage, getting it stuck where the giant’s heart would have been. He then took a second blow, but let the momentum of this one send him flying backwards, towards the waiting lasso.
“Now!” the grippli shouted as he de-powered and landed in the circle. Valbrand, Lucky Days and Kurst yanked with all their might and pulled him quickly to safety. Then, as soon as the skeleton followed into the torch’s light, Jazier sparked the Goblin Sap, setting off a powerful explosion.
The skeleton reeled, but was still moving. “Ragathiel, grant me your blessing,” Qumeel prayed, brandishing his blade and pointing it at the ceiling above the skeleton. At first, nothing happened, but then the cracks caused by the explosion spidered outward, and a large stone fell on the undead foe.
It seemed to be downed, but Gwen wasn’t taking any chances. She fired several rounds into the fallen enemy, making sure its skull was thoroughly destroyed before she was satisfied.
“Okay,” Rodd Rigez said. “I’ll admit that worked pretty well. Anyway, I think I saw some valuables in there, and a trail of blood leading to a door. Shall we?”
After a quick bit of graverobbing, they followed the trail of blood through a door and down another corridor. As they moved, the sounds of shrieking echoed ahead. They crept quietly until they reached another door. This one was open, and inside, they spotted a group of five red-painted goblins who seemed to be arguing with a pair of orcs who seemed to have two powerful dire wolves on their side. Beyond them was what appeared to be a giant statue on the wall. One of the orcs was studying it.
Jazier quietly chanted to detect magic and his head swam with the power emanating from within the room. “Whoa. This room is most heinous, bro.”
“What?” Rodd Rigez whispered.
“What?” Jazier answered, too confused to remember what he’d said.
“This is da kween’s treasure!” one of the goblins shrieked.
“No, this is my queen’s treasure,” the larger orc argued.
“Get them!” the goblin yelled. Two of his companions leapt onto the back of one of the wolves, but one was immediately thrown.
The group of adventurers nodded to each other, then Lucky Days led the charge as Gwen fired. The orc who had been studying the statue turned. “Gorn! I told you to watch the door!” He whistled and the trained wolves turned their focus on the new arrivals.
Lucky Days crossed the distance, slashing Gorn in the stomach. He put one hand on his belly to hold in his slippery organs and swung with his blade. From behind the goblins, Qumeel charged, swinging at the nearest foe. But he missed as he slipped on a rock while he ran.
Jazier continued chanting, and he saw a vision of a giant, shadowy creature, reeking of necromantic magic, where the others saw the statue. “That’s…whoa.”
Valbrand watched the opening of the fight, and as he did, a terrible yet glorious idea formed in his mind. He grinned as he clapped a hand on Rodd Rigez’s shoulder. “Stay hidden, old friend.” He then strode into the chamber and bellowed out a song.
“Goblin smash and goblin fight
Goblins beat them with their might
Wolves are dogs beneath the furs
Stab them, stab them, stab those curs!”
As he sang, he infused his song with power. The goblins, hearing his words, were moved to a frenzy and began to roar as they attacked the wolves. The wolves continued their attack on the party, and Kermit was pulled from his feet, but the wolf was unable to go in for the kill with the goblins attacking it.
The other wolf spun and bit at Lucky Days, who was also dodging the accidentally thrown kidney that Gorn had hurled at her when he tried to swing his blade. The great beast got a flank full of small arrows for its inattention and howled in rage.
Jazier continued probing the magic in the room, and he realized that the eye of the statue was projecting something, but the shadows were blocking it. “There’s something in the eye!” he said as he turned to Valbrand and Rodd Rigez, neither of whom were there anymore. “Hey, where’d you go?!”
The orc in charge – Valbrand assumed he had to be Skreed – hurled a bomb at Lucky Days. She managed to turn her head and avoid the full on blow, but was quite singed by the flames. And that was all Valbrand needed to continue his song. So he did, eying the gold clad hammer in the hand of the statue, which would make a fine trophy of this fight.
“Goblins win and take the perks!
Take the boomies from the orcs!”
The wolf spun at the goblin archers, only to find Qumeel waiting for him. The cleric swung with all his might, and the wolf’s head went flying through the air. “Magic man! Fire sword!” the goblin archers cheered in triumph. Or at least, two of them did. They didn’t notice that their companion had been stabbed in the back by the hidden Rodd Rigez, who was now holding the goblin up like a puppet.
On the other side of the room, Kermit flailed against his attacker, managing to tear open the beast’s belly, its organs pouring out with a wet sound. The two goblins cheered and began helping pull him out from under the fallen foe.
Kurst made his way past the falling wolves and Lucky Days’ foe to reach Skreed, who greeted him with a smirk. “I’d hoped to run into you. It’s possible you’ll win here. And you may kill me, but I doubt you’ll have as much fun as I did killing your brother. It was easy. Like killing a baby.”
Gorn spun and slashed Kurst in the back. His armor took most of the blow, but it still hurt, and blood still flowed. Jazier walked into the room. “What happened here?” he asked, surveying the carnage for a second before deciding it didn’t matter and hurling a bolt of lightning at the darkness enshrouding the statue. The lightning hit the hammer, and some of the gold flaked off, revealing the sigil of Minderhall, a god of the giants.
Valbrand continued to sing as he marched forward.
“Swarm them, swarm them,
Take their stuff
Show them that
Goblins are tough!”
One of the goblin archers turned to his friend, and noticed the man holding the goblin up, but before he could react, a bullet struck the flaming sword swinging at him, and exploded into buckshot.
Kermit caught the signal and grabbed the goblins helping him to his feet. He hurled one into the wall. The impact burst its head open, sending brains splattering everywhere. He then took the other to the fallen wolf and stuffed it in the dead beast’s mouth. The last thing it saw was a giant canine tooth ripping through its eye and into its brain.
The final goblin turned in time for Rodd to grab him and kiss him on the forehead as his knife pierced his heart. It didn’t know what was happening as it died. Only that it was cold.
Jazier blasted again, his lighting bolt flying over Lucky Days, who had downed Gorn, and the fight between Kurst and Skreed. It struck the hand of the statue, which he could now tell was the armor clad skeleton of a giant, and caused it to crumble. The hammer fell from its hand, striking Skreed in the back of the head.
The orc collapsed, dazed, his weapon tumbling to the floor. Kurst closed the distance and drove his blade through the orc’s neck with both hands. “I think you were wrong,” he told his fallen foe. “That was pretty satisfying.”
His song and the battle done, Valbrand walked over and inspected the hammer. As he picked it up, it shrunk fitting his hand perfectly.
“This is a fine thing,” he said. It wasn’t fancy now that the gold plating was gone. Indeed, it was very simple, but he could tell that there might be no better made hammer in existence. It was magical, that was for certain, and as he studied it with his own magic, it was clear it was beyond any normal magic weapon.
“This was held by a god,” he said, giving it a couple test swings.
“It will serve me well.” He turned to the others. “Unless one of you wishes to challenge my claim to it?”
“Hammers aren’t my style,” Rodd Rigez answered.
“I have my claws,” Kermit agreed.
“Sakura-chan would get jealous if I used another weapon,” Lucky Days added.
“All you,” Kurst said. He looked at the corpse of Skreed. “I got what I came here for, though I didn’t know I would find it.”
“We should get that gem up there,” Jazier said, oblivious to the conversation.
Kermit climbed up and pried the gem from the skull of the giant. He then tossed it to Jazier, who inspected the gem, which was milky white and appeared to be merely half of a larger stone. “So, what does it do?”
The wizard shrugged. “I have no idea,” he said, tucking it into his bag. “So, can we go, or do I have to clean up this mess first?”
Kermit, back to being small, hopped up on Valbrand’s shoulder. “No, I think we should head back. I left Glenn up on the surface.”
Good to see you back here too! Feels weird trying to catch up on this, since it's been well over a year (long enough for me to have been un-redeployed back out of the coronavirus testing lab into my normal lab, although I still managed a 50.5 hour work week not all that long ago).