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I am hoping to get one of my CO players to join me in a running gag of Roleplaying for our upcoming campaign.
I and another player are both going to play Lizardfolk. I thought it would be fun if one of us played the standard swimmer type, while the other played the variant climber. Then we could bicker back and forth about how life is harder in the swamp or in the desert.
Even if the other Lizardfolk does not want to play along, maybe I can get the Hydro Kinetisist to play along with the swamp role. Or the other player, I know nothing about his character yet.
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Desert: The sand constantly gets lodged in your scales. You have to walk ten miles to get to the nearest source of water. If the hunting is bad, there's nothing to eat but cacti. Sandstorms bury you alive. Purple Worms burst out the ground and swallow your friends and family...
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Swamp: Everything stinks and lizardfolk scent with their tongues. Everything is constantly wet so using rope and leather never lasts long, not to mention wooden or metal items. Quicksand. Everything worth eating can eat you. Black dragons constantly try to take over your home if you're lucky, Aboleths try instead if you aren't.
Desert: Sand is so dry you have scale itch all the time. On top of that you get pestilent bugs constantly.
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Swamp: water water everywhere and newts have taken a dump in it.
Desert: glare off the sand or rocks, sandstorms, you might arrive at an oasis to find a herd of goats has just been through and eaten everything, idiots passing through who need to be rescued, flash floods when it does rain, plus, y'know, the whole dying of thirst thing.
Swamp: mud everywhere, not infrequent floods, if you drop something it can sink into seemingly bottomless mud, storms which don't cause flooding can still topple trees and change watercourses, limitless supplies of bugs, tangling vegetation to trip you up and face-plant you into the mud, idiots passing through who need to be rescued, fungi waiting to grow anywhere they get an excuse.
I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
Desert: it gets insanely hot during the day and bitterly cold at night. There are no good landmarks, those that do exist are confused by mirages and change every time the wind blows. The wind sandblasts your face off, the sun is blinding, everything is venomous and there's nothing to eat. There's no shelter and nothing except sandstone to build it with, nothing to burn as fuel and nowhere to hide. Nothing to make tools, weapons or clothing. Seriously, did I mishear the question?
Oh, and the flies. Open your mouth and it gets full of flies. The flies that crawl around your eyes and any other orifices.
Swamp: It takes an hour to go 500 yards because everything is clogged up with rotting trees, each step you take has a 50% chance of plunging you neck-deep in black sulphurous slime and you have trench foot. Diseases and parasites run rampant everywhere, nothing will burn because it's soaking wet and there are snakes, crocodiles and vermin EVERYWHERE. In the wet season it gets even worse. All your tools, weapons, clothing and shelter rots or gets eaten by beetles.
Oh, and the leeches. Step in the water and you get covered in leeches. The same leeches that crawl around your camp at night whenever it rains.
How is this even an argument?
Swamp- you can at least walk in the desert. In the swamp, you have to make your way through every vine, bush, and reed just to move 5' feet.
Swamp- you can at least walk in the desert. In the swamp, you have to make your way through every vine, bush, and reed just to move 5' feet.Maybe not as much sand specifically, but I know from experience that walking through deep granular solids is a lot of work.
Oh, I never said it wasn't. This is an exercise of 'the grass is always greener on the other side', isn't it? Where each side blows up their personal inconveniences, and discounts the problems of the other side.
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As the original poster, I want to say THANK YOU!
I was a bit sad that I got out of work so late tonight, I wouldn't be able to visit the friends I had looked forward to seeing. Some of these entries were so good that I got A laughed out loud and really appreciate the act of cracking up from them.I
My favorite lines were the dual entry about how the worst part is when fools show up and need to be recued!
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If you haven't seen them, the TV Tropes entries may give a few more ideas:
and: