This is one of my custom characters, would love some feedback. I've done a full run of Rise of the Runelords. She was pretty good.
Would love some first impression feedback.
Kristian
Human
Female
Cleric
STR: d4 []+1[]+2
DEX: d6 []+1[]+2
CON: d6 []+1[]+2[]+3
INT: d8 []+1[]+2
WIS: d10 []+1[]+2[]+3[]+4
Divine +3
CHA: d8 []+1[]+2
Diplomacy +2
Hand Size 6 []7
Proficiency -
Reveal a card with the divine trait to add 1d8 to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead or Demon trait.
[]You may bury a blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4 [](+1) random cards from their discard pile into their deck.
Add 1 to each characters check until your next turn, for each card with the divine but without the corrupted trait you acquired during your turn.
Favored card type: Blessing
Weapon: - []1
Spell: 4 []5 []6
Armor: -
Item: 3 []4 []5
Ally: 3 []4 []5
Blessing:5 []6 []7 []8
ROLE 1 PRIESTESS Hand Size []8
Reveal a card with the divine trait to add 1d8[](+1) to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead or Demon trait.
[]You may bury[](discard) a blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4 [](+1)[](+2)[](+3) random cards from their discard pile into their deck.
Add 1 to each characters check until your next turn, for each card with the divine but without the corrupted trait you acquired during your turn.
[]If you would play a blessing with the Sarenrae[](or healing) trait for a check, you may play another blessing if it doesn't have the corrupted trait. [](If the second blessing has the Sarenrae trait recharge instead of discarding.)
[]When you play a blessing on another characters check, recharge a random card in your discard pile.
ROLE 2 PROPHET Hand size []8
Reveal a card with the divine trait to add 1d8[](+1)[](+2) to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead [](or outsider) or Demon trait.
[]You may bury a blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4 [](+1) random cards from their discard pile into their deck.
Add 1 to each characters check until your next turn, for each card with the divine but without the corrupted trait you acquired during your turn.
[]When a character plays a weapon at your location, it gains the Divine, and Magic, [](and Fire) traits.
[]Add 1 [](2) to your checks to recharge a spell or acquire a card with the divine trait
[]At the start of your turn, if the top of the blessings discard pile is a Blessing of Sarenrae end your turn. Do not advance the blessing deck until your next turn, unless another power would require it.
Hi there, thank you for sharing your very own Cleric!
Here are my thoughts:
Kristian
Human
Female
ClericSTR: d4 []+1[]+2
DEX: d6 []+1[]+2
CON: d6 []+1[]+2[]+3
INT: d8 []+1[]+2
WIS: d10 []+1[]+2[]+3[]+4
Divine +3
CHA: d8 []+1[]+2
Diplomacy +2
I'd swap the bonuses of the skill around a bit more, every skill right now can get a bonus of +2, which is not needed. If you intend to not give Kristian a Melee bonus, there is no point in that +2 for Str, so perhaps you could give Kristian a +3 on Cha. Furthermore a standard +3 on Divine when there is a d10 present is kind of high. Maybe tune either one of those down.
Hand Size 6 []7
Proficiency -Reveal a card with the divine trait to add 1d8 to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead or Demon trait.
[]You may bury a blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4 [](+1) random cards from their discard pile into their deck.
Add 1 to each characters check until your next turn, for each card with the divine but without the corrupted trait you acquired during your turn.
So, first off al, you're missing a Power Feat Check Box. Every base character should have 4 power check boxes. So I'd add the simple addition:
"Reveal a card with the Divine trait to add 1d8 to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead ([]or Demon) trait."
It's also pretty common for a Cleric to have a 'free' heal, instead of a Power Based one with a Bury effect. I know it's not fun to copy a power, but I'd just stick to:
"For your first exploration on a turn, you may discard ([]or reveal) a Blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4+1 random cards from their discard pile into their deck."
Favored card type: Blessing
Weapon: - []1
Spell: 4 []5 []6
Armor: -
Item: 3 []4 []5
Ally: 3 []4 []5
Blessing:5 []6 []7 []8
Clerics are usually armored. I'd suggest changing some things around here. Perhaps an Item or Ally down and giving her 1 or 2 standard armors. This would also me Kristian should get some proficiencies with these armors.
ROLE 1 PRIESTESS Hand Size []8
Reveal a card with the divine trait to add 1d8[](+1) to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead or Demon trait.
[]You may bury[](discard) a blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4 [](+1)[](+2)[](+3) random cards from their discard pile into their deck.
Add 1 to each characters check until your next turn, for each card with the divine but without the corrupted trait you acquired during your turn.
[]If you would play a blessing with the Sarenrae[](or healing) trait for a check, you may play another blessing if it doesn't have the corrupted trait. [](If the second blessing has the Sarenrae trait recharge instead of discarding.)
[]When you play a blessing on another characters check, recharge a random card in your discard pile.ROLE 2 PROPHET Hand size []8
Reveal a card with the divine trait to add 1d8[](+1)[](+2) to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead [](or outsider) or Demon trait.
[]You may bury a blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4 [](+1) random cards from their discard pile into their deck.
Add 1 to each characters check until your next turn, for each card with the divine but without the corrupted trait you acquired during your turn.
[]When a character plays a weapon at your location, it gains the Divine, and Magic, [](and Fire) traits.
[]Add 1 [](2) to your checks to recharge a spell or acquire a card with the divine trait
[]At the start of your turn, if the top of the blessings discard pile is a Blessing of Sarenrae end your turn. Do not advance the blessing deck until your next turn, unless another power would require it.
There are a couple of major design flaws with your Role Cards.
1) Every role card should have 12 Power Feat Check Boxes. I'm counting 11 and 10. I could be mistaken, maybe it's typo. But there should be 12. Just like there should be 4 on your base cards.2) Both Roles have a Hand Size of "[]8"
This is just not right. Role Cards should include everything from the Base Card. This would mean that both role cards should include this sentence:
"Hand Size: 6 []7 []8".
I don't know if this was your intention. If so, it's matter of wording, since it will also fix your Power Feat Check Boxes.
Now the powers themself:
Just so we're clear. You know there are more Clerics than only those of Sarenrae. So you could decide to use other 'Deities' and blessings instead. The power itself seems fine. I'm unsure why you'd make the second blessing rechargable though.
Shouldn't a Priestess be able to others too? I'd change the healing power to this:
"When you play a blessing on another characters check, recharge a random card from her discard pile ([] and your own discard pile)"
The Prophet looks pretty well-rounded. I'd just think that the last power is too strong. Not Advancing the blessing deck is a very strong (and rare) power to begin with. If you'd play this with more than 3 characters, this would become to broken. There is no penalty. I'd suggest adding a simple penalty, like:
"At the start of your turn, if the top card of the blessing discard pile has the Sarenrae trait, end your turn. Do not advance the blessing deck until your next turn, then bury a card with the Divine trait for every blessing not advanced. If you're unable to bury a card, bury the top card of your deck instead."
Well, I hope I've given you some food for thought. I'd like to see your reply. :D
RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16
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Overall, love the character. I agree with most of Donny's suggestions, but have some tweaks of my own.
I actually like the idea of the bury-to-heal power, but I would suggest you also build some way to get buried blessings back into the character, probably very situationally. I'll highlight my suggested changes with bold text here:
Kristian
Human
Female
ClericSTR: d4 []+1
DEX: d6 []+1[]+2
CON: d6 []+1[]+2[]+3
INT: d8 []+1[]+2
WIS: d10 []+1[]+2[]+3[]+4
Divine +2
CHA: d8 []+1[]+2[]+3
Diplomacy +2Hand Size 6 []7
Proficiency -Reveal a card with the divine trait to add 1d8 to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead or Demon trait; ([] if you exceed the difficulty of the check by at least 10, you may recharge a buried blessing). <- This in my mind represents Sarenrae rewarding you for destroying some monstrous undead or demon.
[]You may bury a blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4 [](+1) random cards from their discard pile into their deck.
When you acquire a card with the Divine trait but not the Corrupted trait, display it. Add 1 to checks at your location until your next turn for each such card displayed. At the start of your turn, recharge these cards. <- The reason I suggest this change is that it gives you a way to keep track of how much to add, as I could imagine people during the game saying "How many blessings did I acquire? Let me count my discard pile..." This also means that you're not getting to use acquired Divine cards the moment you pick them up, which balances with the bonus to all the other characters at your location lasting until the start of your next turn.
Favored card type: Blessing
Weapon: - []1
Spell: 4 []5 []6
Armor: -
Item: 3 []4 []5
Ally: 3 []4 []5
Blessing: 5 []6 []7 []8
More generally, I have no problem with the character having no armor proficiency, because some clerics wouldn't use armor, simple as that.
There are of course some wording changes to be done on your roles, but overall I like the powers. I agree that the "don't advance the blessings deck until your next turn" is very powerful, and I like Donny's suggestion to make it bury cards afterward... this would be a way to temporarily extend the game if you're really close to winning, but could possibly kill you if the group isn't able to finish in the extra turns given, which is a good tradeoff in my mind.
I'll wait until you reply about the suggested changes to the basic character powers before I go into details on wording changes needed in the roles.
Overall, very cool character!
Hi there, thank you for sharing your very own Cleric!
Here are my thoughts:Kristian
Human
Female
ClericSTR: d4 []+1[]+2
DEX: d6 []+1[]+2
CON: d6 []+1[]+2[]+3
INT: d8 []+1[]+2
WIS: d10 []+1[]+2[]+3[]+4
Divine +3
CHA: d8 []+1[]+2
Diplomacy +2I'd swap the bonuses of the skill around a bit more, every skill right now can get a bonus of +2, which is not needed. If you intend to not give Kristian a Melee bonus, there is no point in that +2 for Str, so perhaps you could give Kristian a +3 on Cha. Furthermore a standard +3 on Divine when there is a d10 present is kind of high. Maybe tune either one of those down.
Hand Size 6 []7
Proficiency -Reveal a card with the divine trait to add 1d8 to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead or Demon trait.
[]You may bury a blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4 [](+1) random cards from their discard pile into their deck.
Add 1 to each characters check until your next turn, for each card with the divine but without the corrupted trait you acquired during your turn.
So, first off al, you're missing a Power Feat Check Box. Every base character should have 4 power check boxes. So I'd add the simple addition:
"Reveal a card with the Divine trait to add 1d8 to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead ([]or Demon) trait."
It's also pretty common for a Cleric to have a 'free' heal, instead of a Power Based one with a Bury effect. I know it's not fun to copy a power, but I'd just stick to:
"For your first exploration on a turn, you may discard ([]or reveal) a Blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4+1 random cards from their discard pile into their deck."
Clerics are usually armored. I'd suggest changing some things around here. Perhaps an Item or Ally down and giving her 1 or 2...Favored card type: Blessing
Weapon: - []1
Spell: 4 []5 []6
Armor: -
Item: 3 []4 []5
Ally: 3 []4 []5
Blessing:5 []6 []7 []8
I will for sure change the strength bonus to her charisma. It makes sense.
As for the Check Boxes, I made a mistake here. XD It is supposed to be Starting Hand Size 6 []7 []8
I figured (in at least ROTR) she would have to check to a hand size of 7 before making it to her Role Card, meaning taking damage is more dangerous since she would likely lose her entire hand. Balancing the 'universal acquire bonus' power
As for the healing power, I might redo it, still kinda testing the current one. The current power in PRIESTESS ROLE can heal multiple times in a turn (discarding blessings), hopefully this is ok. If it turns out too broken I'll likely change to the power you suggested.
I personally like the no armor cleric =) The artwork I have for this character is very 'Squishy Mage' sort of look.
Yeah, Iomadae was another one of the deities I thought about, but Sarenrae seemed to be less common for what I was thinking about the Blessing Stalling Power. Also when looking up what Sarenrae was about, I thought it just fit better for what I think this character would be like.
I actually really like this
"When you play a blessing on another characters check, recharge a random card from her discard pile ([] and your own discard pile)"
Thank you for that suggestion for sure! =)
As for the Prophet power to stall. Heheh that's the one I thought would be amazing, but also broken. I think I might implement the burying suggestion into it. I think that should balance it out nicely.
Thank you very very very much for your suggestions!! They are great and will help fix the issues that I've been having. I really appreciate it!!
If you happen to have time and/or interest, I have another character. He is my first and main character.
http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2u3i9?Homebrew-Character-Dragon-Knight-Seeking
Thank you again!!
Overall, love the character. I agree with most of Donny's suggestions, but have some tweaks of my own.
I actually like the idea of the bury-to-heal power, but I would suggest you also build some way to get buried blessings back into the character, probably very situationally. I'll highlight my suggested changes with bold text here:
Kristian
Human
Female
ClericSTR: d4 []+1
DEX: d6 []+1[]+2
CON: d6 []+1[]+2[]+3
INT: d8 []+1[]+2
WIS: d10 []+1[]+2[]+3[]+4
Divine +2
CHA: d8 []+1[]+2[]+3
Diplomacy +2Hand Size 6 []7
Proficiency -Reveal a card with the divine trait to add 1d8 to your check to defeat a bane with the Undead or Demon trait; ([] if you exceed the difficulty of the check by at least 10, you may recharge a buried blessing). <- This in my mind represents Sarenrae rewarding you for destroying some monstrous undead or demon.
[]You may bury a blessing to choose a character at your location. Shuffle 1d4 [](+1) random cards from their discard pile into their deck.
When you acquire a card with the Divine trait but not the Corrupted trait, display it. Add 1 to checks at your location until your next turn for each such card displayed. At the start of your turn, recharge these cards. <- The reason I suggest this change is that it gives you a way to keep track of how much to add, as I could imagine people during the game saying "How many blessings did I acquire? Let me count my discard pile..." This also means that you're not getting to use acquired Divine cards the moment you pick them up, which balances with the bonus to all the other characters at your location lasting until the start of your next turn.
Favored card type: Blessing
Weapon: - []1
Spell: 4 []5 []6
Armor: -
Item: 3 []4 []5
Ally: 3 []4 []5
Blessing: 5 []6 []7 []8
More generally, I have no problem with the character having no armor proficiency, because some clerics wouldn't use armor, simple as that.
There are of course wording changes to be done on your roles, but overall I like the powers. I agree that the "don't advance the blessings deck until your next turn" is very powerful, and I like Donny's suggestion to make it bury cards afterward... this would be a way to temporarily extend the game if you're really close to winning, but could possibly kill you if the group isn't able to finish in the extra turns given, which is a good tradeoff in my mind.
I'll wait until you reply about the suggested changes to the basic character powers before I go into details on wording changes needed in the roles.Overall, very cool character!...
Thank you! Glad you like her! =D
I screwed up in the Staring power boxes,
Its supposed to be HAND SIZE 6 []7 []8
That's were everything is a little off, I love the concept behind the reward from Sarenrae =) I might have to get rid of that hand size []8 at the start for it heheh... ^_^
When me and my brothers play this character I bring a big bright white die, and just move that up everytime I acquire, on average I get 1-2, sometimes per scenario. Highest I've gotten is 6, at the Temple, between 4 Blessings, and 2 spells. Of course I was able to use the Blessings I acquired.
The artwork I have of this Cleric is very 'Sorceress Healer' no real armor to speak of. Have thought of a power, basically the faith in her gods protect her.
The power to stall was something I didn't see any other character do. I knew it was definitely going to need some tweaks and testing. I think if I did what Donny suggested, it would be a good balance change.
If you happen to have time and/or interest, I have another character. He is my first and main character.
http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2u3i9?Homebrew-Character-Dragon-Knight-Seeking
Thank you again for the suggestions and advice! I really do appreciate it!!
I just want to offer a counter-view on a d10/+3 Divine skill -- I don't see why you can't have that, if you want. Zarlova is d10/+3. WotR Kyra is d12/+2, which is similar. It's a very strong caster, but completely within the existing power spectrum.
I'm not understanding this power:
[]If you would play a blessing with the Sarenrae[](or healing) trait for a check, you may play another blessing if it doesn't have the corrupted trait. [](If the second blessing has the Sarenrae trait recharge instead of discarding.)
The "If you would" phrasing means that in fact that doesn't happen.
So this power says -- when I am about to play a Sarenrae/healing blessing, I can play a different blessing instead. Um. I could have done that anyway, without the power.Probably you are intending something like this:
[]When you play a blessing with the Sarenrae[](or healing) trait for a check, you may play an additional blessing if it doesn't have the corrupted trait. [](If the second blessing has the Sarenrae trait, you may recharge instead of discarding it.)
I just want to offer a counter-view on a d10/+3 Divine skill -- I don't see why you can't have that, if you want. Zarlova is d10/+3. WotR Kyra is d12/+2, which is similar. It's a very strong caster, but completely within the existing power spectrum.
I'm not understanding this power:
[]If you would play a blessing with the Sarenrae[](or healing) trait for a check, you may play another blessing if it doesn't have the corrupted trait. [](If the second blessing has the Sarenrae trait recharge instead of discarding.)The "If you would" phrasing means that in fact that doesn't happen.
So this power says -- when I am about to play a Sarenrae/healing blessing, I can play a different blessing instead. Um. I could have done that anyway, without the power.Probably you are intending something like this:
[]When you play a blessing with the Sarenrae[](or healing) trait for a check, you may play an additional blessing if it doesn't have the corrupted trait. [](If the second blessing has the Sarenrae trait, you may recharge instead of discarding it.)
Correct on that.
[]When you play a blessing with the Sarenrae[](or healing) trait for a check, you may play an additional blessing if it doesn't have the corrupted trait. [](If the second blessing has the Sarenrae trait, you may recharge instead of discarding it.)
I meant to reword it a week ago.
Thank you for the comment and advice!