Lines you will never, never, EVER read on the regular boards

[Vod Canockers]

Hi, I'm loveking, lets talk some Pathfinder.

[Orthos]

Sissyl wrote:

s it wrong that I read one thread title as "get your love back by mantis"?I

Given the lore of mantises in Pathfinder... *abandon thread*

[Wolfie, KC's #2 Buddy]

Orthos wrote:

Sissyl wrote:

s it wrong that I read one thread title as "get your love back by mantis"?I

Given the lore of mantises in Pathfinder... *abandon thread*

Could be worse... could be "get your love back by bedbug."

[Mad Hermit Runecaster]

GOAT ENTRAILS/CHINESE HOROSCOPE/FIND YOU LOVE FORTUNE PARTNER/WEIGT LOSS

[John Kretzer]

"Hey did you guys hear? James Jacobs is playing a paladin of Asmodeus that fight while duel wielding shields."

[John Kretzer]

"Hey that Cosmo is a great guy....he really helped me out."

[NobodysHome]

I am so glad that Paizo finally eased up the thread restrictions so I can finally read all those posts on improving my love life...

(EDIT: I totally understand that it's not Paizo's fault. I'm trying to be funny, not snarky. I like Paizo's moderators and feel they do a bang-up, very underappreciated job).

[Sindalla]

"Pathfinder is the worst game system ever! We should all play 4th Edition D&D!"

[Eric the Kitten-Bee]

John Kretzer wrote:

"Hey did you guys hear? James Jacobs is playing a paladin of Asmodeus that fight while duel wielding shields."

And Jason's PC is wearing so many armor spikes, he gets a +10 bonus on Disguise checks to appear as a Numerian robo-porcupine.

[Kobold Catgirl]

"Man, we haven't had a pointless argument about something like editions in forever. Let's start one now!"

"Can we argue about paladins?"

"Wow, talk about nostalgia. It's been years, man..."

[meatrace]

"I see now that it is possible to both role-play your character with panache and optimize his statistical properties."

[Squeakmaan]

"I disagree with this interpretation of the rules, but I understand that some people prefer it and that is an equally valid position."

[Tirq]

Top 10 reasons why I think the base Monk is the best class in the game and that it doesn't need any archetypes...

[thenovalord]

Yes, grapple is now much simpler

[meatrace]

"I understand that you don't have to be the Rogue class to play a rogueish character."

[Kobold Catgirl]

"You're playing a fighter/rogue/monk? Well, I don't much care for the class, but you aren't asking for people to advise you on classes, so I won't criticize you about it."

"Guys, let's stay on topi—actually, you already are. Guess you don't need my intervention after all."

[Lincoln Hills]

"That reminds me of something amazing that one of my characters did once. But frankly, the details would bore you and wouldn't really be relevant to your question anyway. Sorry I brought it up!"

[Sissyl]

"The player and I had a talk and we solved the issues I discussed with you earlier. And now, we're having the best time playing."

...for some reason, this never gets written, even though it's probably what happens from time to time.

[Drejk]

John Kretzer wrote:

"Hey that Cosmo is a great guy....he really helped me out."

Actually someone might have hailed Cosmo's help in the past during his customer service or something like that... It might have been a dream or misunderstanding, though.

[Drejk]

meatrace wrote:

"I see now that it is possible to both role-play your character with panache and optimize his statistical properties."

Do you know that in the Seventh Sea Panache is one of primary characteristics?

[Lincoln Hills]

"Whenever one of my bleeding-heart companions lets an enemy live, even if it's just Hobgoblin Guard #34, the survivor breaks out of prison, finds a bunch of powerful magic items and allies, dedicates his life to destroying our party, unerringly finds us and attacks us! Just like I always said would happen if we ever spared anybody. It has happened over 30 times now, including a shambling mound that somehow became the Archbishop of Evilania just to get its revenge on us. My question is: Considering that it resulted in a bunch more XP, gold, and fun than pragmatically killing everybody would have, should I be complaining about the fact that my GM obviously agrees with me that Mercy is Dumb?"

[Randarak]

"Yours is a well-reasoned, valid argument, and I was a complete fool to ever question the thought process by which you arrived at your conclusion."

Also

"Pathfinder is absolutely PERFECT. Not a single aspect of the game ever needs to change one bit.."

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

"You know what we need? A vashikiran specialist with expertise in both love and black magic."

Seriously thinking about making a Baba Ji prestige class.

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

"I think, in light of our drastically different opinions and the near zero chance that one of us is going to change the other's mind, we should probably just agree to disagree and not make asses of ourselves for the next few hours/days/weeks this thread will go on."

[Charlie Bell]

"You're right, you actually never said that, I was totally putting words in your mouth. Sorry bro."

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Charlie Bell wrote:

"You're right, you actually never said that, I was totally putting words in your mouth. Sorry bro."

Funny how that all reminds me of something Hillary said Gandhi said.

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

"I seem to have inadvertently monopolized the moral high ground, in my mind anyway. To admit to my own lack of omniscience, let me step down from my soapbox for a second, clean out the metaphoric earwax from my ears, and at least try to hear what you're saying, if for no other reason than to possibly learn something."

[Kirth Gersen]

Threeshades wrote:

"I don't like playing with all sorts of weird player races, but I understand if other groups prefer this."

I've actually said and repeated this any number of times. Interestingly, people then respond, "Your lame kitchen-sink game might be fine for you, but my highly-restrictive campaign is teh roxxor!"

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Kirth Gersen wrote:

Threeshades wrote:

"I don't like playing with all sorts of weird player races, but I understand if other groups prefer this."

I've actually said and repeated this any number of times. Interestingly, people then respond, "Your lame kitchen-sink game might be fine for you, but my highly-restrive campaign is teh roxxor!"

That'll teach you.

[KahnyaGnorc]

"My Fighter has so many skill points. Any advice on how to spend them all?"

"I fear my rogue is outshining the rest of the party. Any advice on how to tone him down?"

"Every Edition has its good points and bad points, and I like all of them for different reasons."

"BAB is a decent mechanic and all, but I really wish Paizo brought back THAC0."

"Our GMs birthday is coming up, and the other palyers and I have agreed to a TPK as his brithday present. Now, how do we best go about that?"

[Hudak]

"I feel like a minmaxer with my cleave/great cleave/improved crit range.
The wizard laments he is starting to feel like a spellbot. Is there any way for me to make my fighter quit being such a spotlight hog?"

[Lincoln Hills]

"I notice that you posted on a thread that has been inactive for a long time. Rather than point out the plainly visible time-stamps and act like you did something impolite, I will examine the new post to see if it contains new insights on the topic that justify further discussion."

[Pillbug Toenibbler]

I feel like I should confess... most of the time, I'd rather just curl up with a good book, a hot cocoa, and the dog curled up at the foot of the bed. It's not like I have a headache or anything...it's just, as a goblin, I never really liked doing it in the streets.

[Lincoln Hills]

"I took a point of damage last night. The GM is totally interfering with my vision of what my character is like! The character I envisioned is unwounded."

"The commoners killed us before we even had a chance to roll initiative..."

[John Kretzer]

John Kretzer wrote:

"Hey that Cosmo is a great guy....he really helped me out."

Okay I can't believe not even Cosmo favored this one.

["Other Darrin" Kobold Cleaver]

You know, those rocks that fell unexpectantly from nowhere and killed our entire party were entirely justified in doing so.

[Lincoln Hills]

"You know, the arbitrary house rules that my GM imposed on our group have really made us better role-players... heck, they've made us better people!"

[Babe: Pig on the Internet]

Wow, it turns out out we were having fun wrong! Thanks anonymous messageboard poster for setting us straight.

[Kirth Gersen]

"I used to like kitsune, but then someone repeated 'catgirl space marine' for the 1500th time, and I suddenly realized how wrong and stupid I really am for not playing a sterotypical Scottish dwarf instead."

[meatrace]

I thought all dwarves talked like the Swedish chef.

[Sissyl]

Börk börk börk.

[Lincoln Hills]

"One of my players insisted on rolling up a paladin, and for eight months now he's played Lawful Good perfectly, adhered to the paladin code in every way, and found ingenious solutions to every morally ambiguous situation that comes up. I know this is how it's supposed to work, but I don't know how to cope with this weird situation!"

[Sissyl]

"I really think you need to cut the paladin player some slack. After all, it IS a complicated class to play, and moral dilemmas are difficult to make properly in the game."

[Lincoln Hills]

"It's not like the numbers in this game are important."

"Although I enjoy my GM's style, and deeply appreciate his hard work, and find his campaign setting compelling, it is my sworn duty as a PC to grind the jewelled thrones of his world beneath my sandalled tread and listen to the lamentations of his NPCs."

"You know what I love most about alignment? The long, pointless, accusatory debates. Not just here on the boards: in-game, too! Mmm, relaxing!"

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Oh. It seems I am mistaken. Thank you for enlightening me.

[Haladir]

Sissyl wrote:

Börk börk börk.

Björk Björk Björk

[Haladir]

"I do have a long and uninteresting story of something my character did 25 years ago that is somewhat tangentially related to the topic at hand, but I don't want to bore you, so I'll refrain from sharing."

[Haladir]

Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Oh. It seems I am mistaken. Thank you for enlightening me.

Um, I've actually said that a couple of times...

[Lincoln Hills]

"My GM broke the rules! But it would be presumptuous and immature of me to assume that it's all part of a plot against me."

"Here are ten reasons why I'm glad that monks only have 3/4 BAB..."

[NobodysHome]

GM: "I appreciate it when my players track Wealth-by-Level (WBL) and correct me when I haven't provided them with enough treasure."

Player: "I understand that WBL is a general guideline, so I don't complain when my 10th-level fighter is only at 50% WBL."