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Should have gotten a warm cardigan.
When I enter, people go "Sissyl fthagn!"
Then they shove you down a hill strapped to a toboggan.
My power's EXPLOSIVE, like Hawaii'an demigod Kapohoikahiola!
Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Society Subscriber
But your melody is ragged, like a toiked viola.
Divinity rolls off my tongue smoothly.
And then it falls out on the floor. Not groovy!
I animate threads with lyrical dread!
A bard necromancer? The thought hurts my head.
I am so rad I live a half life . . . not sure that's a boast but it works
You're so bad you eat a Kraft™ slice...not sure that's a roast but it's for jerks.
I rock the mike and roll your ears.
The only difference between you and me is people listen to you then bleed from the ears and cry hysterical tears.
I can't be stopped no matter what.
Though that's mainly because of your big wide butt!
The rhymes that I spit are harder than steel!
And like rusted mettle your rhymes do squeal.
I can drink a river of blood and not burst.
Yet my rhymes are what you thirst!
I can shut anyone down.
You can't shut the door on a Closet clown!
I Hide In the Closet of the International Space Station!
Yet you have no flow like constipation.
I may not be able to shut the door on a closet clown but I can sure shut his mouth.
So where'd your dentist learn his trade? Looks like the rural South!
I am always with the Force!
But your jokes have run their course!
I am as precise as a laser.
But your cadence and flow are like gummies through a phaser.
When I'm on the mike, people stand up!
They left to see the show with Lili von Shtupp!
I outrhymed the horse-skull of Mari Lwyd!
Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Society Subscriber
But it crapped on your floor and it couldn't be hid (in your closet no less.)
My poetry make the ladies' hearts beat strongly.
Their hearts beat in fear because your lyrics are wrongly.
My rhymin' and rappin' don't care whatcha think.
But your moves are all rigid as a Weeping Angel's - DON'T BLINK!
I taught strategy to the young Napoleon!
That's why he lost the Waterloo Champeon!
I spit rhymes so awful you'll be hatin'!
Your beloved country cries, just like Alan Paton!
To be, or not to be? I answered that question!
Well, haters be hatin' and pests be pestin'!
I'm ice cool, ice cold, ice tea, and, uh, icy hot!
Chilled you may be, but chill you are not.
I can fly with a wingspan to small to logistically support a human's weight!
Most folks care about you about as much as they realistically care about separation of church and state!
I am multiple stages ahead in evolution!
Well, we've certainly outlasted most of the traffic (just like pollution)....
All your base are belong to ME!
Good thing I play the drum, as you can see!
My bark is just as bad as my bite!
Dance break.
:elaborate beatboxing out of first, one, then two, and eventually upward of seven orifices:
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(@Fish)
Your spit reeks more than a tad, teeth so crooked they can't be set right!
Armor your kin, though it'll mean nothin', you can't stop my din, a rager with a MacGuffin!
We all know your "rampage" will stop just as soon as you've had your usual Egg McMuffin!
I'm back from Beyond, all hail to your God-King!
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