A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Bandit Camp

[T.A.U.]

After the Lonely Barrow the PCs are not sure if they are going to continue the exploring the southern part of the Green Belt in RRR. (they basically haven't done it).
I decided to resume the old but good Random Weather Generator we used in the first AP module, and a lot started going fun:
- Random troll encounter during the night watch of the Summoner (this is becoming a permanent joke in our campaign since almost every random encounter occurs in his turn... dice rulez... and when it's not happening in the summoner's watch the others players think that he simply missed the perception roll to notice something).
Since I didn't want it to be useless and spur the players to the south I have him saw in the southern hills 2 trolls moving south.
The Summoner's player decided to not wake up the rest of the party and wait for the next morning for the report.
- Next day I rolled a Snow Storm and since it was Lamashan the 22nd of 4711, the party stayed safely camped in a cave all day.
- On the 23rd of Lamashan the weather was better and they moved south, but after all that snow are unable to track down the trolls.
They met the Leucrotta, and defeated the magical beast.
One of them asked if they could continue the exploration by night, and how was the moon state.
Checking the calendar, I saw that was a full moon night, the Hunter Moon, ad reported it. Party scared of possible nefarious influence of the "Moon of Lamashtu" decided to camp again, hiding in the leucrotta's den.
- On the night's watch of the Erastilian Ranger, I once again rolled a Random troll encounter (6 this time), and decided to have her saw those trolls hunting down a big stag. Ranger interpreted it as a bad omen, doesn't wake up the rest of the party.
- Next day, I rolled a Crimson Fog weather supernatural condition [All creatures venturing in the fog risks some kind of madness and random erratic behaviors] PCs immediately interpreted it as Lamashtu's answer to the "ritual hunting of the previous night".

[pennywit]

I've incorporated the module Courts of the Shadow Fey into my game. In one encounter, a footman announces all of the PCs, but the module mentions that the footman doesn't announce barbarians. The footman announced each of my players, giving them really elaborate titles based on their exploits. Four players listened to their titles. And then there was a pause at the table. Everybody looked at the barbarian player. I looked at him. They looked at me.

And then the barbarian turned to the footman and demanded that he be announced, too. At which point the footman announced him .... along with a bunch of titles related to his failures and losses over the campaign.

It became a little bit of a running joke at this week's session.

[Fiendish Dire Weasel]

This whole thread is chock full of awesome. I haven't started running this campaign yet, but this thread has lots of great ideas and fun roleplay. It makes me want our current campaign to finish faster, except I'm enjoying it a lot as well (Jade Regent)

Thanks for the laughs and inspiration! :)

[pennywit]

A couple more notes from my group's recent session:

My group really, really hates the fey, who have variously punctured them with invisible arrows, chopped the barbarian in half with a scythe (he got better), invade the kingdom from another world (a drop-in module. You know which one), attempted to (literally) serve some of the kingdom's subjects for dinner, and stolen teeth right out of the barbarian's father's mouth.

I rewrote the journey to the Shadow Court as encounters with shadow versions of some of their former foes. (Some were shadow undead, some were beings with a Shadow Creature template). One of these encounters was with the Shadow Creature version of a fey party my players went to ... complete with a redux of the Redcap gang that once critted the barbarian with a scythe (and that the barbarian has held a grudge about ever since).

They're moving through a chaotic mass of dancing fey; PCs have to complete three skill rolls to get across the mass. Meanwhile, the Redcap gang was doing the same thing, looking to intercept the players. The first couple PCs made it out of the dancing fey at about the same time as the redcap gang ... and the barbarian was itching for a chance at vengeance.

Just for funsies, I rolled my "special" d20 (which one player dubbed "the Murder Die") for the first Redcap's first attack die in full view of the players. I narrated, "He swings his scythe and ... " NATURAL 20!! The barbarian's player just looked and said, "NOT AGAIN!!!" Fortunately, the barbarian was wearing a Buffering Cap this time.

[tonyz]

Baron Drelev has a bunch of hill giants as enforcers.

Sorceror uses his insanely highly Bluff check to convince all the hill giants that there is free beer in town. Hill giants all race down into town, leaving the Baron's castle ill-defended.

Afterwards, sorceror convinces the now-angry-at-lack-of-beer hill giants that the beer is really across the lake in the swamp hex full of annoying monsters. Most giants last seen rowing across the lake. No more annoying monsters seen.

[Vivificient]

I decided it was finally time to unleash Grigori upon my players. Among other (more accurate) criticisms of the kingdom's leaders, I slipped in the accusation that Akiros was secretly a werewolf. This wasn't an unreasonable supposition, since he had been bitten by the last werewolf, although in fact he had made his saving throw.

The players seized onto this accusation as something they could decisively refute. They agreed to tie Akiros to a stake in full view of the public on the night of the full moon, so everyone could see him not turn into a wolf. The players also insisted on tying Grigori to another stake, to make sure that he wasn't a werewolf, either.

The appointed night arrived. Even tied to a stake, Grigori continued egging on the crowd and mocking the leaders. As they waited for the moon to rise, someone in the crowd threw a tomato at Akiros. It looked like a riot might break out.

The party cavalier rode up in front of Grigori, ready to poke him in the face and tell him to be quiet. Then, in front of everyone, right in the saddle, the cavalier turned into a wolf.

(Amazingly, in making their plans, the players had forgotten that the cavalier had also been bitten by a werewolf during the previous session.)

[pennywit]

A faerie opponent hit the party barbarian with a Suggestion spell:

"Go outside and pick flowers for your queen."

Barbarian made his save, attacks: "YOU MADE ME TRY TO PICK FLOWERS FOR HER!!!"

The queen (PC): "You made him try to pick flowers for me!!!"

[Gargs454]

From our first session. Party has camped for the night and the random encounter dice does not go well for them. At all. Cleric hears something and casts light on a stone and tosses it in the direction of the sound, but still can't see anything so he wakes the druid. Druid takes a look and notices a troll looking at the stone, who then points it out to another troll.

Mika (the druid): *Gulp* I wake the party.
Vlad: Put the fire out!
Feldsparr: Why are you putting the fire out, trolls hate fire.
GM: Roll Sense Motive
Feldsparr: *rolls* 17
GM: You're pretty sure the trolls haven't noticed you yet.
Feldsparr: Put the dang fire out!!!!
Vlad (OOC): Holy #@%&!! At first level!

Suffice it to say the party now is starting to believe the rumors that the Stolen Lands are a dangerous place.

[pennywit]

Gargs454 wrote:

Suffice it to say the party now is starting to believe the rumors that the Stolen Lands are a dangerous place.

I regrettably had to discontinue the campaign for a lack of time, but I did something interesting in a new PbP. On their first night in the wilderness, My players got a dose of invisible Pervilash and Tyg playing pranks. My players tried talking to them, but they vanished and warned of "Glimmergaunt."

Second night came Glimmergaunt, a tooth fairy bard with three tooth fairy henchman. My players COMPLETELY freaked out about the little things. Not just the characters, the players, too. Apparently, a goblin poking you with a sword is kind of routine. But apparently, little creatures with pliers are cringe-inducing. OF course, I gave flavorful descriptions of teeth being ripped out w/o anesthesia ...

[Gargs454]

pennywit wrote:

Gargs454 wrote:

Second night came Glimmergaunt, a tooth fairy bard with three tooth fairy henchman. My players COMPLETELY freaked out about the little things. Not just the characters, the players, too. Apparently, a goblin poking you with a sword is kind of routine. But apparently, little creatures with pliers are cringe-inducing. OF course, I gave flavorful descriptions of teeth being ripped out w/o anesthesia ...

Yikes, that is cruel, playing on the fears of both the characters and the players!

I hear ya on having to discontinue though, I'm seriously hoping to be able to run this through completion but that will take a seriously long time for us (#adulting).

[pennywit]

Gargs454 wrote:

pennywit wrote:

Gargs454 wrote:

Second night came Glimmergaunt, a tooth fairy bard with three tooth fairy henchman. My players COMPLETELY freaked out about the little things. Not just the characters, the players, too. Apparently, a goblin poking you with a sword is kind of routine. But apparently, little creatures with pliers are cringe-inducing. OF course, I gave flavorful descriptions of teeth being ripped out w/o anesthesia ...

Yikes, that is cruel, playing on the fears of both the characters and the players!

I hear ya on having to discontinue though, I'm seriously hoping to be able to run this through completion but that will take a seriously long time for us (#adulting).

Cruelty? I view it as effective GMing. My tabletop players really hate tooth fairies for similar reasons. They're 12th level and mythic now, and they fireball the little buggers whenever they see them. Just for the hell of it, I'm thinking of throwing a 20th level tooth fairy swashbuckler (with mythic tiers) at them at some point, just to be mean.

Yeah, work, y'know. I've kept my tabletop group going, though we sometimes go for a month or so w/o meeting. They're about to meet the Moonlit King (in Courts of the Shadow Fey), and I have to juice the encounter into something challenging and memorable.

[Gargs454]

Oh I meant cruel in a good way! :) Seriously, if you can freak the players out too, all the better!

[Aldrius]

Our group had a lot of fun with Garrum and his (former) tribe.

=================================

Garrum, upon having his pet slark threatened by the party in exchange for his cooperation

"NUUUUUU! NO TOUCHE DE FROOOOOG! WHY YOU DO DIS?! HE NO DO NUTIN' TO YOUUUU!"

==================================

CN fey gnome sorceress: "Congratulations, Garrum, you are now chieftain. You get all the frog b***es."
Garrum: "...Nice."

[pennywit]

Thanks to a red jester throwing a card at him, the party barbarian's backup backup weapon, a handaxe, has become intelligent.

It talks.

It has a Brooklyn accent.

And it constantly berates the barbarian for not using it in combat.

[Gargs454]

The party ranger has been talking to Tyg-Titter-Tug because he had given the grig some marbles and cheese. The party of course, can't see Tyg because they have not given her anything, so they keep thinking that the ranger (Feldspar) is talking to himself (keep in mind he was recently reincarnated and they suspect something may be wrong since he went from a dwarf to a human).

Mika: Are you sure you're okay.
Feldspar: I'm fine, I was talking to this beautiful woman.
Vlad: A beautiful invisible woman huh?
Feldspar: Yes! I gave her my marbles!

[Bennyzoid]

Not so much something that, but more a funny quote.

Lord Frederick Abberline: With my brand new headband of intellect I've come to the conclusion we need to raise our taxes.

[pennywit]

My players are currently dealing with shenanigans by the Black Prince, a faerie who's trying to disrupt their kingdom. The queen asked Dovan, the kingdom's spymaster, to find out who in the kingdom might be secretly a faerie or under faerie influence. Dovan then sought the authority to arrest and imprison any person whom he suspected of being a faerie or under fey influence.

Other player (interjecting): "Do we want to go full McCarthy here?"
Queen's player: "No." Then to Dovan: "No, just keep a list of people."
Dovan: "Very well. I will keep your enemies list."

[Gargs454]

So the party had made it back to Oleg's following a very touch and go fight with a werewolf (being level 2 they didn't yet have any silver weapons). The party ranger had also asked previously for some fancy gifts to give to Tyg because he has a crush on her.

Vlad: Oleg, do you perchance have any silver weapons?
Oleg: I have some silver arrows.
Vlad: How many?
Oleg: 15
Vlad: What about crossbow bolts?
O: No, but I can order some.
Micka: How about bullets for my sling.
O: No.
Torm (the PC, not the FR God): What about a spear or staff?
O: No, but I'll see what I can get from Restov. Oh, and Feldspar, your doilies, handkerchiefs, and ribbons came in and I also got a nice bottle of perfume.
Torm: Oh thank god!

[pennywit]

Barbarian: "Do I detect anything with Scent?"
GM: "You can only use that while raging."
Barbarian: "I get really mad and start sniffing!!"

[pennywit]

My players are currently at the Rushlight Tournament. Among my custom additions is a delegation of fey from the "Lady of Dreams." (that is, Nyrissa).

My players are considering this over email after our last session.

The queen: "Oh, by the way, something that struck me later on in the evening... FAY! They are up to something. I wonder if they are keeping an eye on us while they do something bad in our kingdom while we are gone. Maybe it would be a good idea to have Artie pop back to the kingdom one night and let them know to be on alert. Tell Dovan to keep his ear to the ground a bit. With us away, it's a good chance for the Black Prince to strike."

Me: "A major bad guy assaults your kingdom while you are away?? What kind of GM do you think I am??"

Queen: "See what you've turned me into! A paranoid despot in training!"

[Gargs454]

Party is sitting around discussing what they want to order in the way of armor and whether or not the suit of magical scale mail is worth their while.

Vlad: Well my llamelar horn armor is better than this so I don't really need it.
Cice (female wizard): I'm sorry, did you say you're wearing porn armor? I'm picturing arseless chaps and suddenly I'm MUCH more interested in you!

And so shall it be that forever more will Baron Vlad Black be known to have worn Porn Armor.

[pennywit]

My players were negotiating a thorny social situation at the Rushlight tournament:

Druid player: "Guys, watch out! The GM just made a checkmark!!"

GM player: "What? Me? Nothing?"

Druid player: "Pay no attention to the man behind the laptop screen."

[pennywit]

I turned the first bloom into a mini-adventure where my players battled the Wriggling Man (temporarily) and had to fight a jubjub bird.

At one point, the Wriggling Man turned invisible, then plane shifted away. The barbarian and alchemist both thought he might still be there. So ... the barbarian started using his Scent rage power, and the alchemist used Alter Self to become a bugbear and Scent.

So ... the jubjub bird is closing in, two of the party's heavy hitters are over in the corner of the room sniffing.

[Gargs454]

Vlad: I send my eagle out to look at the ruins and watch through its eyes. Can I tell anything about the ruins?
Me: Make a Knowledge (History) or Knowledge (Engineering) check.
Vlad: Ummm, I have Knowledge (Geography)!
Me: Ahhh, well then you can tell that the ruins are to the West of your current location.

[pennywit]

Whitney, Duchess of Inedania, Bearer of the Lonely Blade, styled "the Bandit Queen", married Casper Irovetti, son of King Castruccio Irovetti. A guest showed up at the wedding: The Knurly Witch, accompanied by a couple bruisers.

"What are you doing here?!" the players demanded.

"Does not the Lady of Dreams have the right to send greetings on the marriage of her son?!"

Three players gave a suitably dramatic intake of breath.

[kadance]

Well played.

[T.A.U.]

Resuming mine AP after a long hiatus, the PCs explore and find the Mad Hermit (Bokken's brother), he was hiding from them trying to find a way to ambush the party... But the ranger spotted him, and the Oracle/Ruler mythically befriended him with a Diplomacy check (at least for a few minutes)

So I decided to play him socially, having him with 3 different personalities (one for each language he spoke), asking the same question in those languages should give back different answers.

He also sang a feary song about the "Green Lady who will come"... once they realized he was a dangerous threat to everyone passing in the hex (they found some Humanoid bones in his oak, and the Hermit said "the voices told me to eat them"), they decided to nuke him out of existence.

[Canadian Bakka]

I had combined the Kankerata Run by DM Dudemeister and elements from A Hisorty of Ashes like Orthos did. In the run, one of the centaurs was Krojun-Eats-What-He-Kills. I made Kankerata a gargantuan-sized mythic landshark. During the Run, Krojun failed a skill check in Kankerata's Den and was about to be swallowed. I took a page from the Mad Max remake film and had Krojun spray some face paint on him (no actual game benefits) as he looks into the Baron's eyes and screams "Witness me!"

Kankerata bites Krojun and swallows him in the same breath (I rolled the damage in front of the players so they knew how much damage it was). One round later, Krojun bursts out of Kankerata's stomach, raging as he holds a bloody dagger, covered head to hoofs in blood. He screams out as he bravely gallops away from Kankerata while looking at the Baron who was shocked, "I am Krojun!! Live, khyor khotei,so that you will tell your seeds of the glorious day that you witnessed me ride the belly of the Earth Eater! I am the Fury!!"

Needless to say, my players were awestruck and really glad they did not challenge Krojun to a game of sdrena, lol.

CB

[pennywit]

My players fought the JubJub bird a couple sessions ago (a gift from the Wriggling Man). In an email dialogue, I joked about "Jubjub Bird Sr." paying them a visit. One player said, "I'd rather fight the Frumious Bandersnatch."

Is it safe to say that a good GM gives his players what they ask for?

[pennywit]

My players, marching their armies to Fort Drelev, encountered Armag the Twice Born and his barbarian horde. Battle was joined, and the party barbarian took Ovinnrbaane as his prize. Said barbarian failed his Will save. Two days of game time later, they went into mass battle at Fort Drelev, and the barbarian was using his sword. Midway through combat ... the barbarian attacked the party wizard!!

The wizard found Ovinrbaane blocked his spells ... so he took to the air via fly. For much of the rest of mass combat, the barbarian was chasing the wizard with Ovinrbaane, trying to kill him. (Cue the Yakkety Sax music).

After the mass combat was over, the rest of the party subdued the barbarian and took away Ovinrbaane ... and the duchess promptly got whammied, but she had an ability that let her make a second Will save.

After making the second Will save, she got rid of the sword.

And now Ovinrbaane, the sword of Gorum's champion ... is at the bottom of Lake Hooktongue.

[tonyz]

Quote:

And now Ovinrbaane, the sword of Gorum's champion ... is at the bottom of Lake Hooktongue.

This is just begging for a boggard to pick it up and lead his entire tribe on a war against the surface dwellers...

[kadance]

Or some Naiad to retrieve it and proclaim someone else king. You know, all the best governments are formed on the basis of watery tarts' actions.

[pennywit]

I thought about both these scenarios, but we're building to the end.

[pennywit]

My players are negotiating with a seilenos who currently rules Pitax. He brought with him a retinue that includes a couple maenads. One Maenad immediately attached herself to the barbarian.

GM: "She runs her fingers along your greataxe, scraping up dried blood. She puts her finger in her mouth, tasting the blood, and smiles."

Queen: "Ewww. You need to clean your axe more often!"

==================================================

My players made an alliance with Pitax so that they could oppose Nyrissa. Since Irovetti got turned into a chicken, they've learned a little more about him -- for example, that he sacrificed an entire village of people to get wyverns to help him out. I've watched with great amusement as the chaotic good queen rationalizes the alliance as a necessity, while the chaotic neutral wizard gets bent out of shape about how evil Irovetti is.

Their current plan (after Pitax is free) is to see if they could have him Castruccio Irovetti feebleminded while they appoint somebody to rule from behind the throne.

[pennywit]

My players are in the frost giants bloom, trekking up the top of a mountain. I rolled a random encounter, and it came up ... faerie dragons. I decided to have a little fun.

I called for Perception checks and touch ACs, then rolled, and poitned at one of the players. "You are hit ... with a snowball!!"

So the rulers of a major kingdom paused to have a snowball fight with a group of mischievous fairies. At the end of it, they did get some useful information for their trouble.

[kadance]

Congrats on keeping the campaign going so long!

[Kinth]

Not sure how this managed to work, but it did. So, long and short the group got in an argument with kobolds and presented them with a serious question they had to mull over, and which point one of the kobolds cries out, "KOBOLD KONFRENCE" and they proceed to huddle, 15 feet away from the PCs, and try to talk amongst themselves w/o the PCs overhearing (failing).

About 2 sessions later, dealing with the Sootscales, the tides get turned when the druid, needing a moment, calls out "Kobold Konfrence!" and the group proceeds to huddle... and the kobolds proceed to listen in and make commentary on the group's ideas.

[pennywit]

"We're going to build a cold iron wall around our kingdom. And the fey are going to pay for it!!!"

[Gargs454]

The orc fighter (York) has caught wind that some barbarians to the north and west of the kingdom are searching for an ancient weapon, but its winter and the party is interested in focusing on kingdom building, crafting items, etc. York tries to convince some members of the party to go searching with him.

York: Hey Ronni! We should really go check out the barbarians over there, wanna come?
Ronni (Cohort of Joseph, being played by Joseph's player): Well, I don't go out adventuring, I just oversee things here in the capitol. You'd have to ask Joseph.
York: Ok, I go find Joseph!
Me: No problem, he's still in the city.
York: Joseph, you want to go check out those barbarians???
Joseph: No.