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One of my oldest friends is getting married today to her girlfriend and my wife is doing the ceremony.
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Woot!
Yep. Of course both my wife and I are glad for her. It is going to be strange for my wife to be doing the ceremony. She is still a little weirded out about being able to do marriages now.
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Oh, almost forgot, woke up, so here's some more happy music, and hugs.
*hugs anyone and everyone that wants one*
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Good morning Rysky. I hope that you are doing well and have a great day.
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I also hope that everyone else has a great day too.
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Good morning Rysky. I hope that you are doing well and have a great day.I'm here, and we're just one day away from Friday, which is one day away from Saturday.
~laughter~ That is one way of looking at it. Well, I for one am glad you are still with us. You make the world a better place by being here.
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~laughter~ That is one way of looking at it. Well, I for one am glad you are still with us. You make the world a better place by being here.Good morning Rysky. I hope that you are doing well and have a great day.I'm here, and we're just one day away from Friday, which is one day away from Saturday.
Thankies.
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Woke up extra early today :/ But pathfinder tonight, which means more queer characters :)
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Woke up extra early today :/ But pathfinder tonight, which means more queer characters :)
I misread this as "woke up extra queer today, which means pathfinder tonight"!
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Woke up extra early today :/ But pathfinder tonight, which means more queer characters :)I misread this as "woke up extra queer today, which means pathfinder tonight"!
That too!
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Speaking of love prevailing, oh my gosh, we just saw an early showing of Loving last night, and it was so good! We were very teary and enjoyed it very much. Lots of actors who were new to us, moments of humor, good chemistry between the main couple. If you have the chance, see it this weekend when it opens (which is apparently the only weekend that matters for judging whether movies are successes).
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I was invited to game as Cindy with some friends this weekend. There will be 5 of us. 3 know about me and one has never met me before. I was told that he would be fine with it (I don't think that they've talked to him though). I am really thinking about doing it. I would normally avoid meeting a new person as Cindy, but I'm starting to think that this may be the best thing I can do. I will be among friends, doing something I enjoy and the one person who doesn't know me yet hasn't had a chance to form any opinions. This means that he will start off knowing right away. I will have nothing to hide. I can always just leave if it's not comfortable. Since he will be on a date with one of the ladies there, she will learn how he treats people who are different.
I'm still scared, but I think this may be a good idea.
I was invited to game as Cindy with some friends this weekend. There will be 5 of us. 3 know about me and one has never met me before. I was told that he would be fine with it (I don't think that they've talked to him though). I am really thinking about doing it. I would normally avoid meeting a new person as Cindy, but I'm starting to think that this may be the best thing I can do. I will be among friends, doing something I enjoy and the one person who doesn't know me yet hasn't had a chance to form any opinions. This means that he will start off knowing right away. I will have nothing to hide. I can always just leave if it's not comfortable. Since he will be on a date with one of the ladies there, she will learn how he treats people who are different.
I'm still scared, but I think this may be a good idea.
Go for it and good luck! Just remember that you have friends in RL and here.
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Hey, there's a Frog God Games Humble Bundle right now, and, while not the default charity, you can choose the ACLU. Something tells me the LGBT community can use the help, and there's games in it for us.
I was invited to game as Cindy with some friends this weekend. There will be 5 of us. 3 know about me and one has never met me before. I was told that he would be fine with it (I don't think that they've talked to him though). I am really thinking about doing it. I would normally avoid meeting a new person as Cindy, but I'm starting to think that this may be the best thing I can do. I will be among friends, doing something I enjoy and the one person who doesn't know me yet hasn't had a chance to form any opinions. This means that he will start off knowing right away. I will have nothing to hide. I can always just leave if it's not comfortable. Since he will be on a date with one of the ladies there, she will learn how he treats people who are different.
I'm still scared, but I think this may be a good idea.
Good Luck and I hope you have fun.
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I had a disturbing thing occur. Many things happen it seems when you take on responsibility for a child. One thing is dealing with things that occur at their schools.
They are sending our children to see something called "Fight the new Drug". Supposedly it is about fighting pornography and stating pornography is the new drug. My child is a little young for this. They had a parents forum tonight to see what this program was presenting.
IN MY OPINION, they mixed truths and falsehoods. That wasn't the most disturbing about the presentation to me.
I don't know if any of you who are LGBT ever heard of something called Gay Conversion therapy. I think there are those who claim it has worked for them (I don't have any evidence for or against their claims, I just know there are those who claim it). If someone chooses to participate, I feel that they should be allowed to do so (just like people do with various herbal supplements).
In my personal experience from what I've seen, it is a horrible and horrendous thing which has been proven to be ineffective. One of my cousins went even a step further than that and had electroshock treatment and the whole nine yards. Guess what, he never changed, he was always homosexual. I think many like me would be outraged at such a program and the false pretenses it acts under when forced on others.
This program (FighttheNewDrug) seems to push that not only is pornography a drug, but it can be cured by very similar methods as Gay conversion therapy.
This BOTHERS ME A LOT. Now, if someone wants to choose of their own choice to enter this program or one like it because it mirrors their opinions, and IT IS OF THEIR OWN FREE CHOICE, I'm fine with that. I'm actually very pro free speech and action.
HOWEVER...
1. My child is pretty young...though they may have opinions, they are still VERY influenced by what they see and hear.
2. They ARE YOUNG...they don't need exposure to this type of junk science yet.
3. That the school district not only is...
@GWL
Trust your gut feeling.
It seems to me that you are rightly protective of your child (ie, not overprotective). And when that is so, your BS-radar is spot-on.
What you describe actually sounds strongly like an attack against sexuality (as in sexual activity) rather than just pornography. Which is usually a trademark of conservative religious groups. No wonder there might be some anti-LGBT undertones there too.
Yes, people can be addicted to porn, and others have far more deleterious addictions (say heroine or cocaine). Yet they do not attempt to correct the latter addictions. Why is that so ?
Addiction to porn, like so many other psychological addictions, is rooted in inner feelings of shame and inadequacy. It is a form of escapism, as well as a vicious circle, since it strengthens those dark feelings.
Psychological help is what gets people out of that addiction. Not aversion therapy, which will just make the people bury it further and feel even more shameful. And that actually strengthens the downward spiral.
To inflict this on young kids is absurd and counterproductive, since the kids will want to know what all this fuss is about. And I think it could be harmful to the kids
Likely there are other parents around (even part of the white heterosexual norm) who share your feelings on this. Maybe casually asking around other parents can help you get support in saying "No thanks. Not for my kid."
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Heck, it might even be an interesting 'common ground' to map out with folks.
Hey, there's a Frog God Games Humble Bundle right now, and, while not the default charity, you can choose the ACLU. Something tells me the LGBT community can use the help, and there's games in it for us.
I'm British, so I use Amnesty International (UK), but that's definitely a good idea.
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I was invited to game as Cindy with some friends this weekend. There will be 5 of us. 3 know about me and one has never met me before. I was told that he would be fine with it (I don't think that they've talked to him though). I am really thinking about doing it. I would normally avoid meeting a new person as Cindy, but I'm starting to think that this may be the best thing I can do. I will be among friends, doing something I enjoy and the one person who doesn't know me yet hasn't had a chance to form any opinions. This means that he will start off knowing right away. I will have nothing to hide. I can always just leave if it's not comfortable. Since he will be on a date with one of the ladies there, she will learn how he treats people who are different.
I'm still scared, but I think this may be a good idea.
Your example of courage is inspiring. Good luck, and have fun!
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Not exactly an LGBT thing, but I have something that's kind of scary. I'll try to keep it short. This is the closest thread I have to anything that might offer support in regards to this though, which is why I am posting it here.
This is a REAL thing happening in our time, and it is actually relevant.
George Takei, who is normally known in regards to his LGBT activism, has spoken in regards to this.
Georg Takei - Have we learned nothing?
Now, right now they are talking registry, though they had an open reference to a precedence being set by the Japanese internment camps of WWII.
There are those of you who may know why this might send a cold chill stabbing through my heart.
Some may not realize how close to your home this can hit. I don't want to think overly about it, but when I do, it scares the wits out of me.
I hope the internment does NOT happen. I don't know if the US would be any different with people now than in the past. When it happened before, very few were willing to stand up for the Japanese-Americans and offer them shelter...I don't know if there is anyone that someone could turn to today, if it were to happen under Trump.
I know we offer support for those in these forums, but how prepared would those in this thread be to actually helping someone in what could be life/death and property if internment becomes a reality in the US in the near future. Be aware, helping someone could result in prison time, a felony conviction, loss of property and health, and perhaps also being interred. It's bad ramifications for those who help.
However, if it happens, this is perhaps one of the worst forms of discrimination that could occur against another group that we've seen, with the exception of attempted genocide. I'm very worried that when that time comes (if it does) no one who is not affected will stand up against it. These people will need a LOT of support though, I just hope there are more like Takei who will take a stand and say this cannot happen again, especially in the US.
There is no way I would want this to occur, and if I knew a way to fight it, I'm going to fight it, and probably go down fighting it if I have to. It is unjust and unfair, and I feel in no way is something that should happen in the US. This is one thing I'd have to make a stand.
A better article about it with George Takei's statements
Muslim registry and internment camps
I support Takei and his statements in this fully, I would hope others do as well.
I'm done, sorry to take you away from the normal thread, but just expressing my serious concerns when I heard about it.
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I would too.
This is completely unfair and wrong. Did noone pay attention during 6th grade history?
How about this one?
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Yes they did. They see the results of the WWII internment as a net positive not a net negative. Breaks my heart.I would too.
This is completely unfair and wrong. Did noone pay attention during 6th grade history?
I have to disagree. While I understand that two people can read the same passage and get two different results, what happened during that dark time in history is something more than just what is written in books. As a child I met holocaust survivors, although their significance was lost on me due to my age. It would not have been impossible for me to have met a survivor(or more likely a relative) of these internment camps when I lived in California. This is living history- survivors will tell you what they went through. I find it incredibly hard to believe that someone could see this as positive in any way without being indoctrinated to do so.
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Sorry everyone, slept in till it started to get uncomfortable, then went to the gym.
Found some more happy music though
Also,
*offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants one*
I find it incredibly hard to believe that someone could see this as positive in any way without being indoctrinated to do so.
Check out this Washington Post article
During an appearance on Megyn Kelly’s Fox News show, Carl Higbie said a registry proposal being discussed by Trump’s immigration advisers would be legal and would “hold constitutional muster.”
“We’ve done it with Iran back awhile ago. We did it during World War II with the Japanese,” said Higbie, a former Navy SEAL and until Nov. 9, the spokesman for the pro-Trump Great America PAC.
Trump Team Has Plan to Build Wall, Maybe Reinstate Muslim Registry
"Under the 2002 National Security Entry-Exit Registration System, which Kobach helped design, people from “higher risk” countries were interrogated and fingerprinted upon entering the country. The “special registration” program required some noncitizen males over the age of 16 to register in person and occasionally notify the government of their whereabouts.
Following complaints that the program violated civil liberties and was discriminatory toward Muslims, the special registration program ended in 2003.
“It was clearly discriminatory because the nations listed were only Arab and Muslim nations,” Abed Ayoub, the national legal and policy director of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee, told The Wall Street Journal. “They just put in North Korea for good measure.”
The Obama administration ended the rest of the NSEER requirements in 2011, but it accomplished that by removing all the countries from the list. Technically, the regulation is still on the books.
The big difference I see today is that at least half the country (hopefully even more) finds racist, sexist, and other types of bigoted policies abhorrent, and as demographics change, this is more true everyday. I can't say more without this becoming too political, but there are people in every town and city who won't tolerate fascist garbage, and will fight against it.
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I hope that everyone has a good weekend.
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So far I have had a good weekend. I was able to game as Cindy with my friends. We didn't do as much gaming as I would have liked because we spent most of the night just getting to know each other better. I've only known this group of friends for a couple of months. They are some of the most accepting people I've ever been around.
There was a 6-year-old who saw me show up as Bob and a few hours later I changed into Cindy. She was wrapped up in her show and she didn't even know that I was going to do it. She walks by, looks at me, and says, "you're dressed like a pretty lady" then she runs off and grabs her tablet so she can watch her show. She never said another word about it. No questions. No comments. Just a smile and off she went.
I really wish adults would be more like that.
If anyone is wondering, we played Dead Panic. We kicked zombie-ass!
It is 4 am and I admit I have not read all two-hundred pages of this thread. I am cross-posting from another thread. I seek suggestions on how to tastefully and respectfully roleplay an effeminate male homosexual character without being offensive or overly flamboyant.
Edit: Apologies if this is the wrong place to post this. I saw it in the hot topics. I am neither close-minded nor bigotted. A little uncomfortable, maybe, asking about sexuality. I am a straight man. I dated a bi-sexual for years who usually kept a gf on the side. We used to go out drinking and watch the drag show. That is the sum-total of my experience with the gay/lesbian community. I am certain that is in no way an accurate cross-section on how to roleplay such a character. I'm not sure at what point I began sounding like an idiot. Shutting up now. Sorry. Thanks for your consideration.
Edit 2: Jeezus, no matter how many times I edit this, I still sound ignorant. I give up. Please help.
So far I have had a good weekend. I was able to game as Cindy with my friends. We didn't do as much gaming as I would have liked because we spent most of the night just getting to know each other better. I've only known this group of friends for a couple of months. They are some of the most accepting people I've ever been around.
There was a 6-year-old who saw me show up as Bob and a few hours later I changed into Cindy. She was wrapped up in her show and she didn't even know that I was going to do it. She walks by, looks at me, and says, "you're dressed like a pretty lady" then she runs off and grabs her tablet so she can watch her show. She never said another word about it. No questions. No comments. Just a smile and off she went.
I really wish adults would be more like that.
If anyone is wondering, we played Dead Panic. We kicked zombie-ass!
Sounds like you had fun. Good to hear.
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And one more day.
Wouldn't quite call this happy music, serene more like.
*offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants one*
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It is 4 am and I admit I have not read all two-hundred pages of this thread. I am cross-posting from another thread. I seek suggestions on how to tastefully and respectfully roleplay an effeminate male homosexual character without being offensive or overly flamboyant.
Edit: Apologies if this is the wrong place to post this. I saw it in the hot topics. I am neither close-minded nor bigotted. A little uncomfortable, maybe, asking about sexuality. I am a straight man. I dated a bi-sexual for years who usually kept a gf on the side. We used to go out drinking and watch the drag show. That is the sum-total of my experience with the gay/lesbian community. I am certain that is in no way an accurate cross-section on how to roleplay such a character. I'm not sure at what point I began sounding like an idiot. Shutting up now. Sorry. Thanks for your consideration.
Edit 2: Jeezus, no matter how many times I edit this, I still sound ignorant. I give up. Please help.
Ignorance isn't bad. It means that you don't know something. You are working on fixing that. Don't worry about it.
I would suggest that you don't play him as a caricature. He doesn't have to hit on every dude he sees. He doesn't have to act all prissy all the time. You can have him just wear things traditionally meant for women or he can use more stereotypical manners or phrases. Think about the different ways men and women typically view things and they way that they approach similar situations.
You could also find a character that is looked upon favorably by the LGBT community who fits the mold and use that as inspiration. Glee has some good characters so look at. Will and Grace had some good examples. Modern Family is a good show to get inspiration from.
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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32
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It is 4 am and I admit I have not read all two-hundred pages of this thread. I am cross-posting from another thread. I seek suggestions on how to tastefully and respectfully roleplay an effeminate male homosexual character without being offensive or overly flamboyant.
Edit: Apologies if this is the wrong place to post this. I saw it in the hot topics. I am neither close-minded nor bigotted. A little uncomfortable, maybe, asking about sexuality. I am a straight man. I dated a bi-sexual for years who usually kept a gf on the side. We used to go out drinking and watch the drag show. That is the sum-total of my experience with the gay/lesbian community. I am certain that is in no way an accurate cross-section on how to roleplay such a character. I'm not sure at what point I began sounding like an idiot. Shutting up now. Sorry. Thanks for your consideration.
Edit 2: Jeezus, no matter how many times I edit this, I still sound ignorant. I give up. Please help.
Hey there. Here are some off-the-cuff recommendations:
Step 1: First, it's great that you want to be respectful in your portrayal; that's a good start. But I would recommend trying to get away from the idea of "I'm not close-minded or bigoted." Don't think of those things as part of who you are but rather what you strive for. The benefits of this way of thinking are that you're less scared that saying or doing something insensitive or offending will make you "a bad person," and that if you end up offending you can hear the criticism, apologize, and move on trying to do better instead of thinking of yourself as "not a bigot" and doubling down on thinking you're a good person with nothing to apologize for.
Step 2: As Bob said, I think finding some good examples in other media is a good place to start. I think my favorite example (although it does take some fair time investment) is Taako the elf wizard from the podcast The Adventure Zone. But I would also say that you don't necessarily need to do a whole bunch of research just to play a gay fantasy character. So far you have a couple traits for them: gay, male, effeminate. That's honestly a fine place to start, as long as it's only the start. After all, when making other characters you wouldn't just define them like "male, straight, masculine" right? What are his goals? How do his race and class inform his desires and outlook? Does he have any hobbies? Why is he an adventurer? Is he flirty or reserved? Etc.
For anyone interested, here is a link to the Adventure Zone podcast.
The Adventure Zone
Justin, Travis and Griffin McElroy from My Brother, My Brother and Me have recruited their dad Clint for a campaign of high adventure. Join the McElroys as they find their fortune and slay an unconscionable number of ... you know, kobolds or whatever in ... The Adventure Zone.
:Deep breath. Plunge:
First of all, I only included those RW perceptions(?) about myself to establish some type of baseline from which I had hoped to expand my roleplaying capabilities. I do not need anybody to tell me that I am a "good person." I KNOW it. I live it. Offensive is subjective. What may or may not upset you may not bother me, although I am sensitive enough to be able to empathize. I am just having a hard time adjusting my perspective. As for example characters, I'm thinking Yurimaru from Ninja Scroll. I think that modern, RW actors and actresses are already skewed. I don't know, that's why I'm asking. Thanks.
At the risk of reinforcing stereotypes, the character in question is not a PC. He is a dark-elven assassin (ninja) who also happens to be a feybat (fey lycanthrope werebat). I know, I know. It's cliche' for a reason. I play in the Forgotten Realms where a certain ammount of misogyny is acceptable, if not expected from the males of that race. I hope to make this character a recurring friend/enemy (that will be up to the players) and hope to do him justice as a memorable character.
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It is 4 am and I admit I have not read all two-hundred pages of this thread. I am cross-posting from another thread. I seek suggestions on how to tastefully and respectfully roleplay an effeminate male homosexual character without being offensive or overly flamboyant.
Edit: Apologies if this is the wrong place to post this. I saw it in the hot topics. I am neither close-minded nor bigotted. A little uncomfortable, maybe, asking about sexuality. I am a straight man. I dated a bi-sexual for years who usually kept a gf on the side. We used to go out drinking and watch the drag show. That is the sum-total of my experience with the gay/lesbian community. I am certain that is in no way an accurate cross-section on how to roleplay such a character. I'm not sure at what point I began sounding like an idiot. Shutting up now. Sorry. Thanks for your consideration.
Edit 2: Jeezus, no matter how many times I edit this, I still sound ignorant. I give up. Please help.
First, stop trying so hard. That's a big help.
Second, stop thinking of your character as effeminate. Just try to think, what does my character like and what doesn't he like. How does he act toward others and how does he react to other people's actions. Gay men that are considered effeminate are not trying to be effeminate. They are just being themselves.
Third, don't make sex a major part of your character's life. Don't avoid it unless it will be a serious problem in your group. Some groups just don't deal with sexuality or sex at all in their games. Make sure you aren't stepping on toes in your group before you play this character. But don't back down if the reason is bigotry. Instead take the time to discuss it with the group. Its pretty amazing how open conversation helps open people's eyes.
Fourth, have fun. Be respectful, but have fun.
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Disclaimer: I’m not a guy, so everything I write here should be taken with a huge grain of salt. (Or, in proper Discordian style, five tons of flax.)
First, I would second the suggestions people have already made, especially The Usual Suspect’s advice not to think of the character as “effeminate,” which word was really the one thing that bothered me in your original post. After all, the word is pejorative: flipping through a couple of dictionaries shows connotations of excess, “overrefinement,” and “unbecoming delicacy,” [sic] with usage notes indicating, euphemistically, that it is “rarely used without reproach.” Heck, even my antiquated version of Word notes that it’s offensive.
Maybe guys in your part of the world are trying to reclaim the word, but I would tread very carefully, especially if I’m not part of that group, and depending on how well you know your gaming group. I mean, the word would definitely annoy me in any case (isn’t it funny that “emasculate” doesn’t describe something like a woman “unbecomingly” indulging in the fripperies of intrinsically trivial masculinity?*), and even more so if I wasn’t sure that applied to a gay character it wasn’t implicitly reproducing gender norms that condemn femininity in men.
* Not what I believe about masculinity, but forming a hopefully illustrative analogy to the implications of “effeminate.”
I’ve met a bunch of guys who identify as feminine or femme, so that might be a better label if you’re looking for one.
That said, one thing to think about to keep it from going over the top is to think about the ways in which your character is feminine, especially in the wider context of your campaign world. Is he trying to do absolutely everything that his culture perceives as such? How many people of any orientation try only to present the “manliest manliness,” “womanliest womanliness,” or generally “genderliest genderness” in every respect all the time?
With Forgotten Realms drow in particular, you might be able to explore fantasy gender roles in interesting ways with this character. If your character identifies as femme, what does that mean in a matriarchal society that's run by evil demon-worshippers, as opposed to what it might to your players out-of-character? Do other male drow think of him as a sell-out, buying into the system of values that sees them as second-class at best?
Just some thoughts off-hand.