Time for an Abe Simpson rant! I'll start with the Middle East, then sort of meander off...

[Kelsey MacAilbert]

D. I already know the reasoning behind the rant (It's fairly obvious), but I'm selecting it none the less.

[TOZ]

Tempting, but I'll press B.

[JMD031]

Yay! B.

[Lincoln Hills]

You have selected B: A Brilliant Plan To Improve Televised Golf And Pro Wrestling By 500% Each.

These two sports are terrible viewing in part because of their lame announcer techniques. The professional announcers in televised golf always sound like they just had a nasty breakup and then drank an entire bottle of Nyquil just before showing up to commentate. The commentators for pro wrestling respond to everything - including inanimate objects - as if they're ADHD kindergardeners who just discovered that you can eat sugar straight from the sugar jar. In both cases it's irritating, and does nothing to increase my already tepid interest in what's being shown on the screen.

But what if they switched jobs?

Here's what televised golf would sound like:

Big Dave: OH MY GOD! He's using the three wood in a one-mile-per-hour crosswind, Rob! THIS IS BRUTAL! (wipes drool from his chin)
Disembowelment Robert: I haven't seen anything like this since HOLE FOUR when - WAIT! Unbelievable, he's ADJUSTING HIS PANTS! UNBELIEVABLE!

Here's what televised wrestling would sound like:

Ritalin Francis: and it appears that mr. mangle has put the spandex kneecapper in a hammerlock.
Stamp Collector Duncan: i believe it's a modified hammerlock, yes. it's a modified hammerlock and he's driving his forehead into the exposed rings on the corner post.
Ritalin Francis: so he is, duncan. there's blood everywhere.

Now d'you see how awesome this would make both things? Oh, I still wouldn't bother watching either event, but at least there'd be something amusing to overhear while I was eating lunch in the staff break room.

Your time is up. To continue to hear Rambling Rant, select from the following:
- A: Why WALL-E's Future Frightened Me So
- B: PF Isn't Realistic Because It Doesn't Have Rules For Irritating Armor Rash *DISALLOWED*
- C: 'Oops, My Clothes Fell Off' Doesn't Actually Save A Terrible Movie
- D: Infrastructure And Finances Of US Lurching On The Brink, So Congress... Spends Its Time Policing The Internet?

Thank you for using Rambling Rant: the salmonella in the spinach of complacency!

[TOZ]

D.

[Crimson Jester]

the big C

[lynora]

A

[Caineach]

tough choice. Gotta go with A.

[Treppa]

Can I choose all of them? I choose all of them.

[Smarnil le couard]

A ?

[Freehold DM]

C is heresy. A is awesome.

[Crimson Jester]

Freehold DM wrote:

C is heresy. A is awesome.

However, it is true and you know it. Now on the other hand when the movie is good, and it is an actress that is stunning and is not known for such roles, why it makes the movie oh so much better.

[Freehold DM]

Crimson Jester wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

C is heresy. A is awesome.

However, it is true and you know it. Now on the other hand when the movie is good, and it is an actress that is stunning and is not known for such roles, why it makes the movie oh so much better.

It all depends on why you went to see the movie, friend! Still at today's prices,, if a movie isn't awesome, I'm going to be pissed no matter what.

[Lincoln Hills]

You have selected A: Why WALL-E's Future Frightened Me So.

(Warning: I'm about to spoil this excellent movie for you with what TVTropes calls 'fridge horror.')

The most obvious reason I'd be frightened by WALL-E's future is because it was the most realistic future I've ever seen depicted in movies. All we have to do is nothing, and this is the future of America... a valuable and fairly subtly delivered moral for all the kids who see the movie.

But what really creeped me about WALL-E was the realization of what's missing. True, American culture at present seems to be progressing directly toward an iChair, a machine for every need and an utter indifference to all of Earth's problems - but America isn't the entire world. Look at those human blobs, and think how... tempting a target they'd present once the Third World runs out of clean water and arable land. Hmmm, fight each other like wolves driven to cannibalism, or find a way past the OmniFence at the border to get at the soft, oh-so-vulnerable Ameriblobs? And then, most likely, the conquerors would fall victim to the lotus-eater lure of the iChairs themselves, until a new wave of vicious wasteland predators showed up. Now you know the real reason the AXIOM was launched into a perpetual holding pattern - it wasn't the pollution or litter, bad as they were, but the fact that the Hills (of Trash) Have Eyes...

Yes, I know the human blobs in the movie didn't actually degenerate until after they'd been launched into space, but even a much earlier stage of this sort of robot-nannied, self-indulgent lifestyle would leave them vulnerable. You creeped out yet?

Your time is up. To continue to hear Rambling Rant, select from the following:
- A: The Upside of Bureaucracy
- B: The Fine Line Between High Fashion And 'Enhanced Interrogation Techniques'
- C: Not A Fan Of Asserted Opinion Being Treated As "Proof"
- D: Why Isn't Every Katana A Touch-Attack Death Effect That Ignores Hardness? *DISALLOWED*
Thank you for using Rambling Rant: do not read while operating heavy machinery!

[Crimson Jester]

Freehold DM wrote:

Crimson Jester wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

C is heresy. A is awesome.

However, it is true and you know it. Now on the other hand when the movie is good, and it is an actress that is stunning and is not known for such roles, why it makes the movie oh so much better.

It all depends on why you went to see the movie, friend! Still at today's prices,, if a movie isn't awesome, I'm going to be pissed no matter what.

Fair enough, I just find so few good movies, let alone AWESOME ones that I am a bit jaded. Then we get overpaid and over hyped actors complaining about our ability to understand or enjoy some highbrow boring movie thats not making a buck anywhere, including here.

[Lincoln Hills]

(Unofficial addendum to my last rant: am I the only one who noticed the similarity between the humans of the Axiom and the Spacers faction from Isaac Asimov's Caves of Steel series? Not accusing Pixar of theft, just pointing out that some SF memes are immortal and always worth re-visiting...)