The title pretty much says it all but the background is thus.
Buddy got married and had a kid.
fast forward a year and a half to they now have a new home to raise shiney new daughter and life is grand.
heres the problem.
they moved 30 minutes away from the group to a small house that could not comfortably seat all of us.
We have been gameing at my place where 5 out of the 6 players live in the same town heck some of them are literally less than a half mile.
I have tried to child proof my home as best as possible and the place is always clean but the mother wants us to game at their house where child care stuff is readily available. We have as a group said no.
Then when they do come over even if were in the middle of combat or whatever they leave right at 6pm because of the childs sleep schedule! seriously? like WTF! put her on a blanet and let her nap on the floor.
or bring a play pen if you don't want her roaming.
When the parents do "play" they are too busy watching the child to be very active in the game so mostly their EXP sinks.
it has gotten to the point where I have been asked to tell them if they can't play longer at least until the agreed upon 9pm shut down to no longer show up. I really don't want to do that and lose a friend but we are all very frustrated by haveing to bend over backwards for a out of control grabby 1 and somethings months child.
Any constructive advice would be appreciated.
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Stick to your guns.
We game every other Tuesday at 1900hrs until 2300hrs and I can arrange for my wife to stay at home with the kids. It's not a problem. Once they had to drive 30 minutes to my house for one occasion and I told the kids to either be quiet or go to their rooms.
All it takes is a bit of scheduling.
If your friend is insisting on taking their child, take a playpen and give the kid a "Gravol sandwich" to help it sleep. Ground up 50mg Gravol in applesauce is my favorite.
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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As a parent of a now-4-year-old who has gamed since time immemorial, I can tell you the secret:
One parent needs to not play.
Seriously. One of them either needs to stay home with the kid or dedicate themselves to babysitting in another room or something while the other parent plays with the group. The playpen option is probably your second-best bet, but depending on the parents, they may be getting up to "check on the kid" every 2 minutes or something and that will be just as obnoxious.
As for the 6pm sleep schedule thing? That's crap. Kids nap all the time at that age. I strongly doubt that the kid goes to sleep at 6 and sleeps through the whole night. He'll be up and down throughout the day and evening just like other children at that age. Also, like other children at that age, he should be capable of falling asleep pretty much anywhere. Hell, if the parents invest in one of those waterproof blankets (or have a lot of faith in whatever diapers they use) they can put the kid to sleep on your bed at your house!
Ya gotta get this handled post-haste, or the resentment will build up and you *will* lose a friend (or more) in the inevitable explosion.
Here's what my wife, also a gamer and mother of 4, suggests:
"You may want to gently suggest to your friends that gaming may not be right for them at this stage of their life and maybe they should consider taking a break from it until their child is older."
We've been there, done that. All four of our kids are gamers, now, too.
Tell them this. Everything in your OP, they have a right to know how they are being perceived. Be polite, but tell them.
I hate to say this, but at best you're going to lose one of them as a player - perhaps both. And you don't need to work at NASA to see what the worst case scenario is, so handling this with a delicate touch is key.
We have a similar problem in our group. One of the guys is a more recent dad than the others who have kids, so he's at the stage where he feels if he leaves his house before his kids fall asleep, then they'll be up all night and he'll catch bloody hell from his wife. And our response has been a collective shrug of empathy, but we're still starting our game at the same time.
In the end, while slight accomodations for real life are necessary, the groups needs should be the priority.
Thanks to every response so far.
Joela, I would hope not but this guy is a very emotinal type and while no one is expecting him to chose gameing or family,were not that cold hearted people it is after all just a F'n game, HE could take it that way. When we asked him to please stop running because we didn't like his game he got really hurt about it. We were as nice as we could be but he invests very heavily in everything he does.
Plinke, great idea about the playpen. not so sure about the drugs. They refuse to bring her play pen because she likes to run around and be free, but then the mom has to watch her to keep her from swallowing dice and getting under my kitchen cabinets.
Fatespinner, Thanks thats just the kind of backup I needed to hear.
No one else in my group is a parent so we have no experiance at what the norm is.
Doc Outlands, please pass along to your wife that she is a very wise woman. That was going to be our solution as well but I just have to phrase it in such a way as to not hurt feelings or destroy a friendship that means alot. The fact that a lady also suggested it helps asuage my fears of being labeled a sexist pig not valueing womanhood and the beauty of children.
Evil Lincon will do. I will try to be as polite as possible, probably order some take-out on me and be as friendly as possible but it's still gonna be bad. Thanks for the advice though.
Again thanks to everyone that helped. Anymore suggestion keep posting.
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As the resident "Dad" gamer in our group, there are a couple of options you can present. What about a joint character? Let's say you meet once a week. Every week one parent shows up to game and the other stays home with kid to give kid attention and keep schedule where they want it. Next week the parents switch. Your group gets consistancy with one character at the table and Mom and Dad get to game, talk about the game and compare notes on how to best work with "shared" character.
The advice here is good, personally as the parent in your scenario, I would like to be told before it gets worse. And just tell them that the child is not safe in your home and you are not comfortable being responsible for that.
Remember they are new and first time parents so caring for that baby is almost an addiction to them, If your house if full of 25mm minis and D4's ...they know there are choke hazards everywhere. No one wants something bad to happen to the kid, but the parents need to respect the fact that other adults put their live's on hold for game night.
It is in everyone's best interest to have baby stay home.
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As the father of a 20 month old son, I can relate, and I agree with the other comments that kids that age and gaming don't mix. At all!
I GM a campaign in my home, and we start in the evening, when my son is getting ready to go to bed. He usually comes in and says hello to the guys before my girlfriend tucks him in, and we have to keep a close eye on dice and minis. I can only imagine if my girlfriend and I were both playing, and he was awake and running around the room. Not a good situation for anyone, adults or child.
One option no-one has mentioned: Baby-sitter. A child that age can easily handle being taken care of by someone else for a day or two, so a few hours should be no problem, provided that the parents can find a trustworthy and responsible babysitter they are comfortable leaving their child with. If the parents are like most parents, they should be eager for a little adult-only time. If they are the kind of parents who can't imagine letting their little bundle of joy out of their sight for even a few minutes, someone needs to shake them long and hard (just them, mind - don't shake the baby). That cr@p is not healthy for anyone.
If a baby-sitter is not an option for some reason, then one of them needs to bite the bullet and stay at home.
I'm going to chime in with the others as a parent gamer.
This is a touchy situation, but one that can easily be handled with a minimum of tact. They are new parents, their child comes first. That's the way it should be. The real "WTF" would have been if they had neglected to care about their kids because they're in a middle of a combat or something...
But speaking from experience, loosing a gaming buddy doesn't mean loosing a friend, and there are plenty of gaming-related or para-gaming activities in which the new parents can participate.
good luck
'findel
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As a father I stopped gaming for first two years of my girl's life. It's just the way it is. The child comes first, gaming is second.
Having to leave the game at 6pm to put the kid down is perfectly reasonable. It's a 30 minute drive and then you have to get the kid ready for bed (could take another 30 minutes) that's 7pm. A normal time to go to sleep. You don't make the child sleep when you want them to, that just messes them up. A child needs a schedule and when things get off schedule the child starts having issues.
Anyways, the advice here is spot on. They'll still be your friends when the kid gets older. If they have to game that badly a baby sitter is a fine solution.
I'll second the 'one parent stays home' option...that's how our group has handled it when children came into the mix. If you have more than one campaign going, then each parent participates in one campaign, and trades off.
If you've got just the one campaign going, then either you could try the 'shared character' idea, or one parent is going to have to bite the bullet. If you do go for the shared character, I'd suggest an in-game reason that their personality and memories could vary wildly (cursed? Alchemist moving towards Master Chemyst? something...)
Depending on finances and availability, perhaps babysitting is an option, though some parents simply aren't comfortable with babysitting at a young age.
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Dammit, the boards went wonky and ate my post. So I'll sum up my 600-word diatribe in a nutshell:
Your players are right to request that you rescind the invitation for this couple. It's rude for people to allow their children to interrupt other's leisure activities when a stable adult environment is expected - indeed, required - in order for everyone to enjoy themselves.
This would be considered rude if it were a group who regularly gets together to play bridge, watch a ball game, have dinner, or see a movie or play. Game time is no different - for some of us, it's the one leisure activity we look forward to on a regular basis. If this is taking away from the fun for the other players, then it needs to stop.
One option no-one has mentioned: Baby-sitter...
I can't agree more. I am a father of a 5 year old and a 2 year old, and I can't stress enough how important it is to have your own time. My wife and I are both avid gamers (and our kids are catching on, too!), but (for the parent) a child's needs always trump anything else. I would try and talk to them in a non-confrontational way about considering a babysitter. Also let them know that -they- could probably also use a little time when they're not running around and taking care of the child. Also, here is a blog post that I wrote about considerations of gaming while a parent. I'm not an expert, but I did stress that a babysitter is a good idea. Maybe even pointing them to that might be a non-confrontational way of
But I do recommend going easy on them. They probably already feel left out of things from having a young child, and they're still adjusting to having a kid. Honestly, -I'm- still adjusting to having kids. Every day. 5+ years. On the bright side, I play games with my kids and expect to have life-ling gaming buddies. :)
Randy
Growing Up Gamers
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I understand the house they live in is small. But really the best compromise might be to just play at there place. They have all the stuff for the kid and can put the kid down at the right time so the game can going on the whole night. Until the kid goes to bed the parents can switch off watching the kid. Letting the other one use the character as a NPC.
I just know with one of my early gaming groups. After HS everyone moved a bit. One guy with a very small place lived about in the middle. Some of us lived a hour away from him and more from the rest. So we all meet at his place and made due.
Keep in mind if you go this route, it will be something temporary. Yes it will be a couple of years but eventually things will change. If you want the group to stay together then everyone will need to give a little ground and meet in the middle.
One option no-one has mentioned: Baby-sitter...I can't agree more. I am a father of a 5 year old and a 2 year old, and I can't stress enough how important it is to have your own time. My wife and I are both avid gamers (and our kids are catching on, too!), but (for the parent) a child's needs always trump anything else. I would try and talk to them in a non-confrontational way about considering a babysitter. Also let them know that -they- could probably also use a little time when they're not running around and taking care of the child. Also, here is a blog post that I wrote about considerations of gaming while a parent. I'm not an expert, but I did stress that a babysitter is a good idea. Maybe even pointing them to that might be a non-confrontational way of
But I do recommend going easy on them. They probably already feel left out of things from having a young child, and they're still adjusting to having a kid. Honestly, -I'm- still adjusting to having kids. Every day. 5+ years. On the bright side, I play games with my kids and expect to have life-ling gaming buddies. :)
Randy
Growing Up Gamers
This. Every parent, even a devoted and doting one, needs some adult time. If they want to enjoy their hobby together, they'll need to find someone to watch their kid while they do it, so that they and the rest of the gaming group can get the most out of their time.
I understand the house they live in is small. But really the best compromise might be to just play at there place. They have all the stuff for the kid and can put the kid down at the right time so the game can going on the whole night. Until the kid goes to bed the parents can switch off watching the kid. Letting the other one use the character as a NPC.
This works so long as the home is clean and conducive to gaming - and it can fall apart as children get older. I was once part of a group that included a married couple who had four children, ages 1 to 10, and we frequently met at their home for the same reasons you suggested. The two older children constantly interrupted the adults during the game, and it was a miserable experience for all involved. (Of course, I also attribute that to poor discipline on the part of the parents.)
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I understand the house they live in is small. But really the best compromise might be to just play at there place. They have all the stuff for the kid and can put the kid down at the right time so the game can going on the whole night. Until the kid goes to bed the parents can switch off watching the kid. Letting the other one use the character as a NPC.This works so long as the home is clean and conducive to gaming - and it can fall apart as children get older. I was once part of a group that included a married couple who had four children, ages 1 to 10, and we frequently met at their home for the same reasons you suggested. The two older children constantly interrupted the adults during the game, and it was a miserable experience for all involved. (Of course, I also attribute that to poor discipline on the part of the parents.)
Oh I agree older children are more of a problem to game around. But since from my understanding is this is their first baby. It shouldn't be a issue and as the kid gets bigger the parents would likely be more cool with getting a baby sitter.
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The title pretty much says it all but the background is thus.
So you and your gaming group are put off by the fact that the new parents are more attentive to their child/baby than they are to your game? This is a surprise to you? Honestly, I'd be more concerned if they were more attentive to you game than to their kid.
My group has been playing together (with some additions and subtractions) since college. Almost all of us are married and have kids. I think there are 7 kids in our group now (and more on the way). We've changed our gaming over the years to accommodate they fact that we've grown up, become professionals, gotten married, and had kids. The best advice I can give is that life is going to change and, if you enjoy gaming with your friends, you should roll with the changes and keep playing. If you find yourself unable to bend with the changes, you'll eventually find yourself with no one to game with.
The worst thing you can do is make your friends feel like they have to choose between you and their child. That's just a great way to lose your friends (and you'll lose both of them too ... do you think she's going to let him game with you when you made her feel like she had to choose between hobby and baby?).
-Skeld
haveing to bend over backwards for a out of control grabby 1 and somethings months child.
Speaking as a mom and a gamer, STOP RIGHT THERE. When you were between 1 and 2, you were just as "out of control" and "grabby" as you feel their child is now. That's what toddlers do: explore, grab things that aren't theirs, make a mess. Kind of like adventurers.
They have provided you with a compromise that was the same one I made when my kids were small: If we play, we play at my house. I am not going to take a toddler to an unchildproofed house where I have to watch it every minute, where it has no toys, and where it is guaranteed to act "out of control and grabby" due to being overexcited by being in an unfamiliar environment. You guys aren't willing to make the drive (understandable) but expect them to. I think the least you could do would be to meet at their house sometimes and give them a break from driving and paying for gas.
A babysitter is a nice thought but generally runs over $20 an hour for a child that age. You're starting early enough that they have to quit in the middle of a combat and leave at 6 PM, with an agreed-upon shut-down time of 9 PM. (Agreed upon by the non-parents, obviously.) That means you're running at least 4 to 5 hours, plus the hour-long round trip for your friends. One night of gaming is going to cost them over $100. If you want them to leave the baby at home, then the group ought to chip in just like they would for pizza, drinks, etc.
This is most likely not the last member of your gaming group who will be having a child and experiencing the total upheaval of their normal schedule that represents. You need to get prepared for the fact that "gaming night" is not going to be the same, now and forever, world without end, amen.
Sorry for posting with my blood boiling. Sheesh.
P.S. When you talk to your friends, don't mention that you think their child is "out of control and grabby." The mom will probably react the same way I am right now and will not only not want to play with you again but can make it uncomfortable enough for the dad that he'll likely drop out as well. Remember what they say about mother bears and cubs. Try to frame it as the problem is with you and the rest of the group not being comfortable around young children, not that their particular kid is a monster or that they don't know how to raise it.
EDIT: Calmed down a bit and came back to be a little less agressive. :) Also to point out that if you accepted their offer to game at their house, the kid could be put in its childproofed room full of toys and then put to bed at the proper hour, after which your group would enjoy uninterrupted gaming time until 9. How small could the house be, if they live in it with their baby? Buy a card table and folding chairs. They're cheaper than a babysitter + gas money.
I agree! As someone who looks after other peoples grabby and out of control 5 to 10 year olds I'd say have a little respect. At least it's only for a few hours a week instead of 24/7. Or in my case 7/5. Better yet arm yourself and borrow a book on child psychology at that age. You'll be better able to interact with such critters in public. :P
If the space is really an issue perhaps it's time to think digital solution? It is quite conceivable that eventually more of your players will move for one or more reasons. Getting used to hybrid system of remote and live participants may be a good option.
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As a father of a 15 month and the husband of a gamer I can say it just takes practice. We deal with our son 3 different ways.
1) He gets babysat. Sometimes they are not available and that leads us to
2) We game here. He sits in the room with us, he plays we play with him and we game, doesn't bother anyone in the least. At 8:30 he goes down to bed and we continue.
3) We game at our normal place and he comes with us. He plays in the game room, we all play our game and play with him every now and then. No one has a problem, at 8:30 he goes down in a pack and play and sleeps until we leave.
If there is ever a problem, we leave, and the group understands it. I'd rather quit gaming with a group that couldn't handle it than game with one that whines about it (in fact, my wife and I did just that last summer).
As a father of a 15 month and the husband of a gamer I can say it just takes practice. We deal with our son 3 different ways.
1) He gets babysat. Sometimes they are not available and that leads us to
2) We game here. He sits in the room with us, he plays we play with him and we game, doesn't bother anyone in the least. At 8:30 he goes down to bed and we continue.
3) We game at our normal place and he comes with us. He plays in the game room, we all play our game and play with him every now and then. No one has a problem, at 8:30 he goes down in a pack and play and sleeps until we leave.If there is ever a problem, we leave, and the group understands it. I'd rather quit gaming with a group that couldn't handle it than game with one that whines about it (in fact, my wife and I did just that last summer).
I have two players with an 18 month old child, and two other players with a 12yo child. Both children usually show up for game night.
Fortunately, my place is large enough, and we have 3 cats, so our house is mostly baby proof already (thanks to being cat proof). :) The cats help the 18month old have something to do, as does my wife's M&M's phone (which has 3 animated M&Ms that talk when you take the phone off the hook and push a button). The 12yo watches TV and surfs the internet, or plays WOW. Or she draws. The 18month old putters back forth from the gaming table to the cats to the phone to the 12yo to my wife and back again.
It's doable, but it's not a picnic for sure, and the parents will need to pay attention from time to time. I'm going to agree with Dark Mistress and say it might be better if you want them to continue playing to ask them to set up some cleared out space at their house for the game. Even if it's just cleared out for the day of the game (push the coffee table against the wall, move the folding table from the garage to the living room, set up the couch on one side and chairs on the other, that sort of thing).
I have one player with a daughter who sometimes comes with him to games, but she's old enough to go into the other room and watch movies. She's even brought a friend with her a couple times when he had parent duties for the night. It's not been a problem.
OTOH, a very young child like that? I think the sensible thing to do would be for mom and dad to arrange for one of them to go to game and the other to stay home watching the child and switch off every week so both of them could have a social outlet while still giving their daughter the attention she needs--unless they can arrange with grandparents to babysit for one evening so they can have a gaming night.
I have tried to child proof my home as best as possible and the place is always clean but the mother wants us to game at their house where child care stuff is readily available. We have as a group said no.
It may be either change your mind on that or lose the players... and quite possibly not get them back. At least with the other players being so close to one site, it's easy to meet there to carpool.
Then when they do come over even if were in the middle of combat or whatever they leave right at 6pm because of the childs sleep schedule! seriously? like WTF! put her on a blanet and let her nap on the floor.
or bring a play pen if you don't want her roaming.
It's really not that easy once they're no longer small infants. Small infants sleep any and everywhere. Toddlers can be a little harder. In fact, this may not be a problem completely solvable by playing at their house earlier. If it's small, the noise of the game may keep the girl up anyway. But it's a more workable solution than just having her fall asleep on a blanket in a different house.
When the parents do "play" they are too busy watching the child to be very active in the game so mostly their EXP sinks.
That will be a challenge for a while yet. It's one of the reasons having only one of them come until the girl's older may be the most workable solution. If you can find a way for them to alternate, it might be best if they both want to play. It can be hard though. My wife stopped playing on one of our game nights 12 years ago because of our daughter and it took some pressing on my part to get her back into a game years later.
it has gotten to the point where I have been asked to tell them if they can't play longer at least until the agreed upon 9pm shut down to no longer show up. I really don't want to do that and lose a friend but we are all very frustrated by haveing to bend over backwards for a out of control grabby 1 and somethings months child.
I agree, you definitely don't want to lose your friends. So I hope that your other fellow players will grow a little more flexibility and be more willing to meet the parents closer to a middle solution. I haven't seen how their attitude actually looks, but so far they don't seem to have budged. As someone who has kids, I feel very grateful that my friends have been willing to move the game about to accommodate the newest parents by playing in their homes. Granted, none of us are going more than about 10 miles to do so, but had that been an issue, relationships probably would have needed repair. Plus, eventually your other players will start to have issues that need accommodation as well - maybe kids, maybe moving to a different home, maybe a new job with different hours. If they have more empathy now, maybe they'll receive more of it later when the shoes on the other foot.
As the resident "Dad" gamer in our group, there are a couple of options you can present. What about a joint character? Let's say you meet once a week. Every week one parent shows up to game and the other stays home with kid to give kid attention and keep schedule where they want it. Next week the parents switch. Your group gets consistancy with one character at the table and Mom and Dad get to game, talk about the game and compare notes on how to best work with "shared" character.
This would be really cool if the character had some cursed item that caused them to polymorph between two forms; and neither form was directly aware of the other.
The role-playing opportunities here are boundless. The players don't need to communicate about the character, because half the fun is showing up and finding out (second-hand from the other party members) what your alternate form did.
Thanks for all the great advice guys.
I really appreciate all the perspectives especilly from you parent/gamer type folks.
Joana-This is most likely not the last member of your gaming group who will be having a child and experiencing the total upheaval of their normal schedule that represents. You need to get prepared for the fact that "gaming night" is not going to be the same, now and forever, world without end, amen
I didn't mean to come across like that and believe me with all of the military guys in our gameing group we understand about crazy schedules.
On a quirckey little side note, yes These are the only breeding couple in our group. The other guys in our group are either gay, married into a ready made family, or both spouses agreed never to have kids,their careers come first.
We have tried to game over at their house once or twice and while their home is very nice it really is too small to accomodate all 7 adults plus materials.
Dorje Sylas- Better yet arm yourself and borrow a book on child psychology at that age. You'll be better able to interact with such critters in public. :P
as hard hearted as this may come across, thats not gonna happen. I am too busy reading my school work for my bachelors to worry about how kids think or don't think. I interact with them by yelling to the parent/guardians "I think this one has slipped it's leash!" <--tounge very firmly planted in cheek folks, for those that didn't get it it's a JOKE.
Bill Dunn- Thanks for your great advice. You broke down all my points and offered real solutions.
I think it's going to come down to loseing the two players. It's kindda sad but she refuses to allow him to come game by himself because she thinks it should be "family time"
The option of them switching charecters is out because she refuses to learn to drive so he is the only one with any mobilty.
again thanks for all the advice.
This is most likely not the last member of your gaming group who will be having a child and experiencing the total upheaval of their normal schedule that represents. You need to get prepared for the fact that "gaming night" is not going to be the same, now and forever, world without end, amen.
While it probably won't be the last child anyone in any given group has I don't think its entirely reasonable to frame it so that children are just something that adults must put up with in all their activities. Presumably these new parents are not attending Opera's with their children nor movies (except maybe to the special 'everyone bring your baby' viewings).
I'm certianly not saying that no group can or should accommodate children but, on the other hand, its not as simple as all groups must accommodate them. I've been in both circumstances in terms of being in attendance with a group with children around where such minor problems that no one really cared and I've been in circumstances where its either impossible to game or so distracting that it really impacts the experience.
I think it's going to come down to loseing the two players. It's kindda sad but she refuses to allow him to come game by himself because she thinks it should be "family time"
The option of them switching charecters is out because she refuses to learn to drive so he is the only one with any mobilty.
Uh oh. I sense trouble ahead.
Uh oh. I sense trouble ahead.
I think it's going to come down to loseing the two players. It's kindda sad but she refuses to allow him to come game by himself because she thinks it should be "family time"
The option of them switching charecters is out because she refuses to learn to drive so he is the only one with any mobilty.
Roger that. Game time is not family time. It can be something you do together as a couple or a family - but the game is the primary activity, not the extraneous stuff surrounding it.
Also, I have known two people in the course of my life who refused to learn to drive a car and neither had a really compelling reason why. I find that patently strange.
Sorry if I sound like I'm completely down on mixing kids and gaming in my posts, btw - I'm actually not. It's heartening to see parents try to involve their children in gaming (when it's done in a healthy, positive way).
I've had reasonable and rational friends come over for games and bring their toddlers with them, and we had no problems at all - even with a little time spent playing with the baby during the session or on map-drawing breaks and the like.
I've also played with people who couldn't find the appropriate amount of balance between the game and the kids and ruined the experience for everyone.
In my experience, however, the latter occurrence was far more common than the former.
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Thanks for all the great advice guys.
I really appreciate all the perspectives especilly from you parent/gamer type folks.
Joana-This is most likely not the last member of your gaming group who will be having a child and experiencing the total upheaval of their normal schedule that represents. You need to get prepared for the fact that "gaming night" is not going to be the same, now and forever, world without end, amen
I didn't mean to come across like that and believe me with all of the military guys in our gameing group we understand about crazy schedules.
On a quirckey little side note, yes These are the only breeding couple in our group. The other guys in our group are either gay, married into a ready made family, or both spouses agreed never to have kids,their careers come first.
We have tried to game over at their house once or twice and while their home is very nice it really is too small to accomodate all 7 adults plus materials.
Dorje Sylas- Better yet arm yourself and borrow a book on child psychology at that age. You'll be better able to interact with such critters in public. :P
as hard hearted as this may come across, thats not gonna happen. I am too busy reading my school work for my bachelors to worry about how kids think or don't think. I interact with them by yelling to the parent/guardians "I think this one has slipped it's leash!" <--tounge very firmly planted in cheek folks, for those that didn't get it it's a JOKE.
Bill Dunn- Thanks for your great advice. You broke down all my points and offered real solutions.
I think it's going to come down to loseing the two players. It's kindda sad but she refuses to allow him to come game by himself because she thinks it should be "family time"
The option of them switching charecters is out because she refuses to learn to drive so he is the only one with any mobilty.again thanks for all the advice.
Well with what new you have said. i think it comes down to 2 choices.
1) Try playing at their place. Have them make room for the night by moving things as others suggested. Then the kid can be put down when needed and allowed to do what ever in their child proofed home.
2) Cut the players out and risk it becoming a issue in your friendship. Since they might resent you guys not willing to even try gaming at their place. Just saying.
Do you know of anyone other gamers in the area that have small children?
Do you know of anyone other gamers in the area that have small children?
thats a very good idea CF. I hadn't considered going and trying to find them another game but now I will.
I don't know about how this is going to hurt their feelings but if I can provide them with an alternative to our group that can either accomodate their request to game in their home or has a child safer home then it should be a win/win situation.
I imagine there will be some amount of hurt feelings, but in the long run, I think it will be a win/win situation. Your parent friends and your non-parent friends are just in different stages of life with different priorities. Maybe if you can present it that way, they will see the long term benefits.
I have a baby, 18 months, daughter. I'd knock you out if you called her "grabby." Seriously, don't badmouth a baby, makes you look really dumb.
Someone said that one of the parents needs to stay home with the little one, and I agree with that completely. This is what needs to be stated to the parents. You simply can't engage in a session while properly looking after a child.
As much as my own wife would like to play, she knows that it's not possible while we have a baby. Once the kids are older, I look forward to inviting her to play. But not now.
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Well with what new you have said. i think it comes down to 2 choices.
1) Try playing at their place. Have them make room for the night by moving things as others suggested. Then the kid can be put down when needed and allowed to do what ever in their child proofed home.
2) Cut the players out and risk it becoming a issue in your friendship. Since they might resent you guys not willing to even try gaming at their place. Just saying.
I think he mentioned upthread that they did try playing at the couple's house a few times and found it unworkable due to the size of the group.
Based on everything the OP has said, it looks like the only options are a babysitter or a new group for the couple.
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You say they want to game in their house because it has all the baby stuff there... Is it possible to keep some of the baby stuff in your house?
My sister visits me all the time, so I have a few things for her kids (a 8 years old boy and 1 yo girl) lying around... She brought some of those, while I bought others.
It doesn't require a lot of space because it only has to be enough stuff to entertain the kids for a few hours.
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That sounds like a super young baby, I'm surprised they're playing at all. I'm sorry buddy, but your game will always come second to their baby. If you want to game with these friends, you're going to have to compromise. You can play at their house, or let them leave at 6.
Another option is if you start a new game with fewer players that you play once a month, until the child is a bit older?
I agree with others that say, don't badmouth the baby. It's a BABY.
I agree with others that say, don't badmouth the baby. It's a BABY.
Uh, Lemmy? Dudemeister? The child is probably 4 or 5 years old, now.
THREAD RESURRECTION.
Thread resurrections are fun.
I want to know how it went, all those years ago...
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If I play with a parent gamer, they either hire a sitter or don't play. No budging on that. If they can't afford one, other players chip in. It's not that expensive. And if they hire a sitter they don't have to pay for food.
I do not suffer children in my place, nor do I want to baby proof my furniture.
And I honestly say it every time. Nobody complained since then.
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Aaaaand... I just realized I necro'ed a thread from 2011... -.-'
I bet I'll do ir again when the kid is in college...
Tsc... Gotta remember to check post dates. :P
Frankly I'm concerned with the "gravol sandwich" comment above. Drugging kids like that is all kinds of effed up.