I know how to fix that.
Just work around heavy equipment then you don't have to be old at all! Even though I wear noise cancelling earmuffs whenever I'm running anything I still pretend like I can't hear anyone.
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The human psyche is such an interesting and frustrating thing.
Today's example: How quickly kindness turns into obligation.
Cynicism aside, many companies and people do little acts of kindness; for example, a car shop offering fresh coffee and donuts in the waiting room, or a co-worker offering you a ride home every Friday because it's only a little out of their way and it saves you from having to take the bus.
From a strictly functional viewpoint, these acts are losses for the giver: The car shop loses money buying coffee and donuts. The co-worker adds wear and tear to their car.
And yet, if for some reason they are forced to change their behavior (the shop starts losing money, or your co-worker's schedule changes so they have to go straight home on Friday), you have a strong tendency to become resentful of them for "taking something away" from you, even though it wasn't "yours" in the first place.
Today's musings come thanks to one of the kids' friends. He works at the southern end of downtown Berkeley, and even though there's a bus line that's almost a direct line from there to here (the total walking distance is 4 blocks), when he comes over he asks the kids for a ride. This has happened about once a week for a couple of years now. In fact, it was on precisely such a trip that Impus Major got into his collision.
So we told the friend that now that we're down to only one car, we don't want to risk our only remaining car on unnecessary trips through congested, accident-prone areas (an apt description of downtown Berkeley), and we'd prefer he take the bus to get to our place from now on.
He ignored the request, and yesterday asked for a ride from work. Impus Major responded with our new position: Until we have two cars again, we're not giving free rides around town. He response was the classic, "That's not fair! I didn't cause the accident!"
And it's so fundamental to the human psyche for him to feel this way that I found it worth musing about.
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There's an aphorism for that:
"Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments"
When you set the criteria for other people's behavior without their participation, and judge them against those expectations, hard feelings are likely to ensue.
True, but given that the alternative is, "Never be kind to anyone without first setting up an Asmodean contract with them," I'd rather deal with their resentment.
We went to Manchester today, because ALL (DE) wanted to buy some clothes for the kids, and go to an exhibition with Shanna and Sonic (I couldn't get tickets on time). Shanna also wanted to buy some posters and eat ramen; Sonic was mainly enticed out with the promise of going to McDonalds, which didn't actually end up happening. I managed to pass another Middle-Aged Heterosexual Relationship Milestone by waiting outside of Primark for around 45 minutes while my other half finished clothes shopping (to be fair, it's not like she was there for fun, and she thoroughly dislikes going into that particular shop).
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We went to Manchester today, because ALL (DE) wanted to buy some clothes for the kids, and go to an exhibition with Shanna and Sonic (I couldn't get tickets on time). Shanna also wanted to buy some posters and eat ramen; Sonic was mainly enticed out with the promise of going to McDonalds, which didn't actually end up happening. I managed to pass another Middle-Aged Heterosexual Relationship Milestone by waiting outside of Primark for around 45 minutes while my other half finished clothes shopping (to be fair, it's not like she was there for fun, and she thoroughly dislikes going into that particular shop).
Ah. This must be the British equivalent of Target.
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We're camping at a State Park lake just south of Paris (Texas) for the weekend while WW is back in California, and I've been indulging in a rare but favorite leisure activity: floating about on the lake on an inflatable mat with a paperback murder mystery, getting gloriously sunburnt. The mystery in question is one that I found recently at a used bookshop and picked up because I'd read it in college and remembered that I'd liked it back then, the first in the SPQR series.
*googles*
Sounds promising.
*checks* They have the first book in a few of the local city libraries. *adds to basket for later*
So, expectations flow in two directions:
Some people do favors for others with "expectations" attached. Other people can be kind without expecting anything in return.
The 'unspoken expectations' can also flow in the other direction: If you are kind to someone once, some people expect that same kindness each time they have that problem.
Resentment can also come from either direction. I'm not suggesting contracts, just clarity.
Again, I 100% agree.
But this was such a classic, quintessential example that I felt it was worth sharing. The first time the friend asked for a ride, I responded, "Well, we don't want to do it every week, but it'll be good practice for Impus Major to drive in Berkeley, so as long as he doesn't mind doing it I don't mind if he does."
So... the "expectation" was set at the very beginning, but two years of rides later such conversations are lost to memory and as you said, the expectation of a ride resulted in resentment on the friend's part.
But we're friends. He'll get over it. It's a minor event in the scheme of things. I find the psychology interesting, though.
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Any comments would be political, so I'll just share.
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*googles*
Sounds promising.
*checks* They have the first book in a few of the local city libraries. *adds to basket for later*
The tone is a little dry, but it's really well researched. If you enjoy reading about the politics of the Roman republic.
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Hmmm, let's see...
Saylor's Roma Sub Rosa...
Lindsay Davis's Falco series...
Age Of Treason (ok, that one features Falco, though it is rather loosely related to books)...
Also, Falco is really post Julio-Claudian Empire, but close enough.
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Wait a minute...
Are you saying that there are people who don't enjoy reading about Roman republic politics?!
o.O
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We're camping at a State Park lake just south of Paris (Texas) for the weekend while WW is back in California, and I've been indulging in a rare but favorite leisure activity: floating about on the lake on an inflatable mat with a paperback murder mystery, getting gloriously sunburnt. The mystery in question is one that I found recently at a used bookshop and picked up because I'd read it in college and remembered that I'd liked it back then, the first in the SPQR series.
As long as you're visiting Paris, you should do the full European tour.
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We're camping at a State Park lake just south of Paris (Texas) for the weekend while WW is back in California, and I've been indulging in a rare but favorite leisure activity: floating about on the lake on an inflatable mat with a paperback murder mystery, getting gloriously sunburnt. The mystery in question is one that I found recently at a used bookshop and picked up because I'd read it in college and remembered that I'd liked it back then, the first in the SPQR series.As long as you're visiting Paris, you should do the full European tour.
Lol, I've done parts of it on my way to other places. The problem with this tour is that you drive through looooong stretches of rural Texas where... well, it's political, so let's just say I was shocked to see what historical flag was flying in front of many houses. I didn't stop.
I woke the kids up just before two to watch the Perseids, since this SP is a dark park. After an hour, they asked if they could please go back to bed. I am only certain I saw six or seven, but Val swears he saw more. He may have. My eyes aren't good.
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Can they raise lifeguard requirements? Because I'm not sure that I trust 19 year old, 110lb, blonde Mackenzeigh, who clearly has the IQ of a McNugget, to save my life.
That's funny. In California I believe one of the requirements is, "Must be able to crush a human skull between their thighs."
It's probably a coastal requirement...
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Can they raise lifeguard requirements? Because I'm not sure that I trust 19 year old, 110lb, blonde Mackenzeigh, who clearly has the IQ of a McNugget, to save my life.That's funny. In California I believe one of the requirements is, "Must be able to crush a human skull between their thighs."
It's probably a coastal requirement...
Yeah, the only requirement in the Midwest is "applied for the job".
If you're pretty you'll get hired immediately but it's definitely not a requirement!
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I know how to fix that.
I'll call for the stormtroopers.
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Can they raise lifeguard requirements? Because I'm not sure that I trust 19 year old, 110lb, blonde Mackenzeigh, who clearly has the IQ of a McNugget, to save my life.That's funny. In California I believe one of the requirements is, "Must be able to crush a human skull between their thighs."
It's probably a coastal requirement...
....this.
This is how I die.
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We're camping at a State Park lake just south of Paris (Texas) for the weekend while WW is back in California, and I've been indulging in a rare but favorite leisure activity: floating about on the lake on an inflatable mat with a paperback murder mystery, getting gloriously sunburnt. The mystery in question is one that I found recently at a used bookshop and picked up because I'd read it in college and remembered that I'd liked it back then, the first in the SPQR series.
sun...burnt? What? I don't understand.
I'm feeling accidentally racist right now. I was doing a game on Sporcle where it had a large grid of pictures, it would name a famous sixsome, and you had to click their pictures. It asked for the members of NWA. Now, I know what NWA is, but am not really sure who they are, so I was going to skip it and come back, but then I noticed there were only 7 black men in the grid, and one of them was clearly a football player, so I clicked the other 6. I was right, but don't feel good about it.
Its less due to race and more due to age.
Can they raise lifeguard requirements? Because I'm not sure that I trust 19 year old, 110lb, blonde Mackenzeigh, who clearly has the IQ of a McNugget, to save my life.
Its weird.
I've never met a particularly intelligent lifeguard.
They're all brave to the point of recklessness, and hypervigilant. But never particularly bright.
Can they raise lifeguard requirements? Because I'm not sure that I trust 19 year old, 110lb, blonde Mackenzeigh, who clearly has the IQ of a McNugget, to save my life.Its weird.
I've never met a particularly intelligent lifeguard.
They're all brave to the point of recklessness, and hypervigilant. But never particularly bright.
Uneducated guess: High intelligence would make them more vulnerable to boredom, and they would be more prone to their minds wandering off more during their regular boring hours of work, thus hampering their hypervigilance.
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Can they raise lifeguard requirements? Because I'm not sure that I trust 19 year old, 110lb, blonde Mackenzeigh, who clearly has the IQ of a McNugget, to save my life.Its weird.
I've never met a particularly intelligent lifeguard.
They're all brave to the point of recklessness, and hypervigilant. But never particularly bright.
For the record, I was a lifeguard in high school.
Summers in college, I worked as a dive master. I also have SLAM certification (scuba lifesaving and accident management).
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Any comments would be political, so I'll just share.
It's not just there.
It's everywhere.
Yeah, if the house burnt down, we wouldn't be able to afford another one in our neighborhood here in Mesa. We'd have to downgrade to something smaller.
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King of a forest kingdom, truly one with his land.
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Can they raise lifeguard requirements? Because I'm not sure that I trust 19 year old, 110lb, blonde Mackenzeigh, who clearly has the IQ of a McNugget, to save my life.Its weird.
I've never met a particularly intelligent lifeguard.
They're all brave to the point of recklessness, and hypervigilant. But never particularly bright.
For the record, I was a lifeguard in high school.
Summers in college, I worked as a dive master. I also have SLAM certification (scuba lifesaving and accident management).
Well.
It's a good thing I have aquaman's phone number, otherwise I would be left to the mercy of the waves after putting my foot in my mouth.
Can they raise lifeguard requirements? Because I'm not sure that I trust 19 year old, 110lb, blonde Mackenzeigh, who clearly has the IQ of a McNugget, to save my life.Its weird.
I've never met a particularly intelligent lifeguard.
They're all brave to the point of recklessness, and hypervigilant. But never particularly bright.
For the record, I was a lifeguard in high school.
Summers in college, I worked as a dive master. I also have SLAM certification (scuba lifesaving and accident management).
Well.
It's a good thing I have aquaman's phone number, otherwise I would be left to the mercy of the waves after putting my foot in my mouth.
I'd say it's a "California thing" again, except LM didn't grow up here. But becoming a California lifeguard is ultra-competitive because it gets you into schools with nationally-ranked swim teams, so most lifeguards I've met could both bench press me and probably beat me on the S.A.T.
EDIT: For example, when a girl got injured on our choir trip one of the guys was a life guard at the local pool, no nothing special, but he scooped her up (she was a volleyballer/soccer player so around 140 lbs of solid muscle), did emergency triage, then carried her 150 yards to the van without seeming to notice that he was doing anything out of the ordinary.
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I filled out the application for the apartment I want, I think I'll get it but I also don't want to jinx myself so I think I'll just say I'm hopeful. I've looked over that form at least a thousand times today, just to make sure.
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I could swim well enough to not drown but not good enough to not not drown.
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I could swim well enough to not drown but not good enough to not not drown.
One of the few "childhood torments that you now appreciate" that my parents put me through was swimming: Summer after summer, year after year, we had to go to the local pool for lessons every day until we got our "Intermediate" certification. And it was no joke of a certification -- I think it took me from when I was 6 until I finally got the certification at 12 or 13.
To this day I'm an excellent swimmer, so I have to give my parents credit.
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I worked at a pool in a state park as the ranger/bouncer/janitor/filter guy. 20 saves on a slow weekend.
Jumped off diving board. COuldn't swim. Jumped off diving board. Couldn't swim.
Child Jumped off diving board. Couldn't swim. parent jumped into pool to save child. Couldn't swim. grabbed onto lifeguard on bottom of the pool. Grabbed onto the parent and the metal pole sticking out of the deck and hauled the three up. "Is that one save, two saves, three saves...?"
Six food black snake sunning on the deck. People see it and throw water bottles. Pick it up. Put it around my neck. People STILL keep throwing water bottles "Ow ow ow ow ow..." "Snake. Minding ownbusiness. People couldn't think." poor thing got scared and tied himself in a knot in the fence on a cliff when i was moving him away. sat there on my shoulder looking right at me while i untied him. " Well THIS part is YOUR fault...."
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Captain Yesterday's Yearly Obvious Statement Of the Week!
Facebook is pretty f%~%ed up.
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It's also great though, I've reconnected with my ex-wife's roommate from college and she's doing pretty good for herself and a lot of friends from high school I was worried about seem to be doing well so that's been great to see.
Looks like I get a rain day today most likely which is actually pretty handy because I have to do a bit of running around to get rental application turned in today.
I worked at a pool in a state park as the ranger/bouncer/janitor/filter guy. 20 saves on a slow weekend.
Jumped off diving board. COuldn't swim. Jumped off diving board. Couldn't swim.
Child Jumped off diving board. Couldn't swim. parent jumped into pool to save child. Couldn't swim. grabbed onto lifeguard on bottom of the pool. Grabbed onto the parent and the metal pole sticking out of the deck and hauled the three up. "Is that one save, two saves, three saves...?"
Yep. Every summer we read much the same around here. "So-and-so was rafting down the river with no life vest, no experience swimming, and a 6-pack of beer, fell overboard, and drowned. What a tragedy!"
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Yep. Every summer we read much the same around here. "So-and-so was rafting down the river with no life vest, no experience swimming, and a 6-pack of beer, fell overboard, and drowned. What a tragedy!"
If that's the only selective pressure left maybe people will evolve to have built in floaties...
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Yep. Every summer we read much the same around here. "So-and-so was rafting down the river with no life vest, no experience swimming, and a 6-pack of beer, fell overboard, and drowned. What a tragedy!"If that's the only selective pressure left maybe people will evolve to have built in floaties...
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In lighter news, Baldur's Gate 3 is impressively fun -- it's basically Divinity 2 with D&D 5e rules.
So of course Impus Minor created a lingerie-wearing male dwarf barbarian specializing in throwing objects... in particular, his fellow party members.
They've accidentally ended up in quite a few fights because he's gotten bored of the conversations and thrown someone at something. And they're loving it.
Impus Minor: Baldur's Gate is ruining my sleep schedule.
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We're in the middle of the school holidays, and neither the kids, nor those of my friends who work in schools, are quite sure what day it is.
