Phlebotomist’s Gloves
Aura faint necromancy; CL 3rd
Slot hands; Price 7000 gp; Weight - lbs.
Description
These red-coloured gloves only reveal their true nature when brought close to recently spilt blood. The gloves gently tug the wearer’s hands towards the fresh blood. This tugging does not impede the wearer and she can wield weapons, carry items and cast spells as normal. The wearer can concentrate on the tugging as a move action to determine the location of recently spilled blood. This grants the wearer limited blindsense for one round that allows her to detect creatures that are currently suffering from bleed damage or are dying within 30 ft. of her. Three times per day, by clenching one of her gloved hands into a fist, as a swift action, the wearer can accelerate the blood loss of those around her. Any creature within 30 ft. currently suffering from bleed damage takes its bleed damage immediately, in addition to the bleed damage it would normally take at the beginning of its turn. Any dying creature within 30 ft., not suffering from bleed damage, takes 1 hit point of damage.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bleed, deathwatch; Cost 3500 gp
I kind of like this one. Essentially, they're gloves of bloodletting (which might be a better name). They help you find creatures (via blindsense) that are injured and trying to hide. They let you magnify bleed damage in creatures who are suffering from it. And they let you accelerate the deaths of all dying creatures within 30 feet by destabilizing them again or pushing them further towards -CON. It's also somewhat low-priced and low-powered, which I like. Unlike the regular bleed spell, it lets you affect multiple individuals with no save. So I think the price is rather appropriate. Thematically, it hangs together. And, the designer did a really good job of paying attention to detail and using the provided template. Good idea, good execution.
Vote to Keep.
Concur with Neil
I wish the author had focused on the cool aspect of the item (making other creatures bleed) first, rather than spending 5 sentences talking about how the item tugs you toward bleeding creatures.
That said, not a bad item.
Keep.
Director of Brand Strategy
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Yeah, lots of focus on the "tugging", which is neat flavor, but should have some type of rule associated with it for the amount of space it takes up in the entry. I like the blindsense effect it provides, just wish the "tugging" itself were either de-emphasized or codified in some way.
I'm also not a fan of the free 1 hp damage to every enemy in range with no save. Seems extraneous and doesn't fit with the bleeding theme.
Despite these two issues, I think we have a really strong, flavorful wondrous item here. I want to give this to a rogue with bleeding attack, as the visual of someone clenching his fist and an enemy's wound suddenly gushing blood is awesome!
Keep!
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16, 2010 Top 4
aka Alexander MacLeod
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Valeros: "Hey, Merisiel, cool new gloves! What are they?"
Merisiel: "Fleh... Pleh... Flee... They're my new bloody gloves, dammit!"
Other than the name, I think it would be fine to just change the last power to the effects of the bleed spell without too much worry about SIAC accusations. Definitely would see use at my table.
These I like. However, I think the name is bad, and I am very forgiving on bad names. Mark is really right, the clenching fist is the defining visual on these gloves. There’s a few formatting issues here, thousand commas, it’s colored not coloured (remember ‘American English’), and it’s ‘feet’ in descriptive text. These gloves appear a tiny bit expensive, but that price is necessary, especially in the hands of a dedicated bleed character. I initially thought that the ‘find a hiding bleeder’ ability should be a swift action, but that means you can’t use both abilities in one round. I agree with everything the other judges have suggested. A nice stylish item that uses the bleed mechanic in a useful way.
Welcome to the ranks of RPG Superstar! Watch the details (and the names :-) and keep bringing the great ideas. Best of luck!
I actually had to read the other judge's remarks before I found an issue with it. Except for the name; that does have to go, but no more need be said however.
Yes, the first few sentences could get to the point quicker, but that is an easy fix.
I have no problems with any of the powers or the cost. It's not a free point of damage to everyone; it's a free point to everyone suffering from bleeding damage or who is already dying. In practical terms I don't see this as unbalancing.
This is clever item that doesn't seem inspired from anything but its creators own originality. It is macabre without being too gross.
Congratulations on making the Top 32! Let's hope you draw our imagination as well as these gloves draw blood!
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
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"Me too" on the name needing some help. But the image of squeezing the blood from your foe with a fist puts this pretty high for me :) I'd suggest making this one glove, changing the name, and redoing the tugging mechanic so the flavor fits the mechanics better. Also, I'd like to see more of a description than red gloves...perhaps stirgeskin?
Edit: and when you squeeze that hand, blood should drip from it :)
Jerall is a friend of mine - so I'm well stoked he made it! :D
I like!
You had me here:
Three times per day, by clenching one of her gloved hands into a fist, as a swift action, the wearer can accelerate the blood loss of those around her.
Though I´m not crazy about the name, either.
Aren’t any wounded critters technically bleeding?
I don't mean to be snarky, but.....no.
(edit)
I guess it depends on the definition of bleeding;
a blunt trauma that caused a contusion is bleeding under the skin a bit, so....I guess, in all probabilities, yes, they probably are bleeding.
If "bleeding" is supposed to be "undergoing bleed damage," then, no, not necessarily; somebody with a flesh wound could do a heal check and stop the bleeding damage, but they'd still be considered wounded.
But a guy who got hit by a mace isn't "undergoing bleed damage."
But yeah, 9 times outta 10 or more you're prolly right.
(edit 2)
I just want to point out that the entry said "bleed damage" in all the right places, and it looks like it makes perfect sense to me.
Cool Item. I think the tugging effect is cool fluffwise.
You're stabbed, trying to hide, and some freak has gloves twitching in your direction....that's creepy, man. That oughtta be in a creepy horror flick; like maybe they have little sniffing noses to smell with, and tongues to lap up the blood.....
I like it, want it to be called gloves of bloodletting, and strongly disagree with the "oh the tugging needs rules." It's OK to have cool effects that don't have legalese wrapped around them. I'd rather have cool items and God forbid the DM has to make a call.
Yeah; the tugging adds to the creepiness factor.
In previous years, the criticism of using modern day concepts in item names didn't strike me as being important or annoying, but... well, working in health care, I guess this one just brings work home a little too much for me.
With a name change, though, like the Shadow Falconer's Glove, I can see my inquisitor - a "flair for the dramatic" guy if ever there was one - standing in the middle of a bloody battlefield, fist clenched to the sky, eyes glazed over as his (friends and) enemies all around him just wilt.
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In previous years, the criticism of using modern day concepts in item names didn't strike me as being important or annoying, but... well, working in health care, I guess this one just brings work home a little too much for me.
With a name change, though, like the Shadow Falconer's Glove, I can see my inquisitor - a "flair for the dramatic" guy if ever there was one - standing in the middle of a bloody battlefield, fist clenched to the sky, eyes glazed over as his (friends and) enemies all around him just wilt.
He was gonna call them "vampire gloves," but all the phlebot's he knew were sick of being called vampires.
haw haw
My brother was phlebotomist (now a nurse) so I relate to this item. As we say in New England, "wicked" cool.
My first reaction was to ask why these gloves don't weigh anything? Then I looked and discovered that the gloves in the core book don't have any weight either. Silly me.
I don't like the name. It feels like it should have the word blood, hunter, leech, or just about anything but phlebotomist.
How many times per day can you use the blindsense effect? Does it just keep activating round after round if you are near a bleeding creature? I can't tell if it's a continuous effect when in the presence of a bleeding creature or if it just happens once and that's it.
I do like the item and its effects, but some of it needs to be cleaned up.
The name thing has been said before, but I wanted to add my voice to the chorus. The first thing a person sees of your item is the name. You don't want to set people off right there.
But aside from that ( easily fixed) issue this is really a great item. I like the limited blindsense8 even if it becomes hard to justify to pinpoint all creatures if several of them are within range by a light tugging alone). The second, bloodletting effect is just plain evil, but in the good sense of the word. This is really the perfect addition to an item that would otherwise only be nice.
Your writing is top notch and you know your rules terminology, this should really help you creating an archetype and I look forward to reading it. I'm expecting something great, flavorful and perfectly balanced from you now! :)
Phlebotomist’s Gloves
The name could be better, but this item is pretty neat regardless. A perfect companion piece for a wounding weapon.
Thanks, everybody, for your comments.
I went through several names before submitting and then, after submitting, I came up with several far better names. The name thing has been worrying me since submission, but I'm glad that the concept was strong enough to pull me through.
Now, I just need to impress with my archetype.
RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
aka Bats Kabber
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I agree with most of what was said above, but I did have one idea I didn't see mentioned. Wouldn't these gloves be useful to a cleric suffering temporary blindness or otherwise unable to locate party members in need?
"This grants the wearer limited blindsense for one round that allows her to detect creatures that are currently suffering from bleed damage or are dying within 30 ft. of her."
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4
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Star Voter Season 6
aka raidou
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Jerall, nice work and welcome to the competition! As has been said already, it's the bloodletting aspect of these gloves that make them stylish and remarkable. That's something you'll want to take note of going forward... the first thing your readers see needs to be the hook. This is a great item that drips with flavor and I look forward to seeing what you come up with next!
This strikes me as a very cool but fairly minor effect. I almost wish the 'standard action' effect was something more dramatic, so PCs would be more likely to wear them. A standard action for 1 point of damage in an area would be very weak even if it affected everybody. But the first affect is a lot of fun; it's not the kind of thing most PCs would choose, but it's the kind of thing that leads to some really great moments if they happen to have it around.
Congratulations Jerall!
Strength (Overall): 16
Dexterity (see time in my campaign): 14
Constitution (long-time keeper): 14
Intelligence (mechanics): 16
Wisdom (writing craft): 12
Charisma (flavor/visuals): 14
I love the idea of a clenched fist spurting blood from all those wounds nearby! Even the party will be wounded in many cases as it does not (as written) discriminate. I found 'the blood' ending all the sentences a little repetitive or even clumsy, but as mentioned you might have had too many sentences. I also love that this is an item for lower levels. Nice job.
Congratulations! :)
Thanks, everybody, for your comments.
I went through several names before submitting and then, after submitting, I came up with several far better names. The name thing has been worrying me since submission, but I'm glad that the concept was strong enough to pull me through.
Now, I just need to impress with my archetype.
I like the name; I don't know why.
I do PET scans.....inject people with radioactive tracers; take pictures;....
Congratulations on making the Top 32!
Names don't bug me much. I had no idea what a Phlebotomist was... and now I know it has something to do with blood.
This item is pretty cool. It's got some neat flavour and abilities to match. My only real concern is that not every creature that is dying got there by bleeding. Technically, your gloves could work on a drowning or suffocating victim as well. I will admit it is a bit of a nitpick but there you go.
Great Item!
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I want to like this item, but as far as my table is concerned, it's incredibly niche. I can count the number of times someone has been suffering bleed damage in the past six months on one hand... and maybe on one hand with two fingers attached to it (which, ironically, would probably be bleeding were that the case).
Now, I get that this is a great item for a character built around bleed as a mechanic...I've just never, ever seen one of those personally. They might be very common in some circles, just not mine.
My evaluation of this is roughly the same as the Candle of Viscous Ephemera, in that it messes with a somewhat obscure mechanic - but, obscure mechanics are obscure for a reason. They rarely see use, and sadly, this item would rarely if ever see use at my table.
It's very well written, though, and not unclear as to it's functionality. It's a superstar item, for sure, just not one that I can really get fired up about. Which seems like a contradiction, but oddly, in this case...it's not.
Congratulations on making the top 32!
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RPG Superstar 2010 Top 8
aka AWizardInDallas
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These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
Here is another item with a unique core concept--make your enemies bleeding worse than it already is. Wow, that's just mean, man. :) This would be a great way to add some distinction to a villain.
The title is too modern/scientific though. Referencing the ancient and medieval practice of bloodletting would make for a far better title--bloodletter's gloves. Barbers (like Sweeney Todd... oooh gloves of the demon barber) and surgeons performed this function in the Middle Ages too and were sometimes called "leeches," so any of those might be good in the title as well. I like the CSI quality of the gloves. That means good adventurers can still use them for investigation without taking advantage of its less savory function. I'd like to see the gloves impart some kind of bonus to tracking a bleeding creature beyond its 30 ft. range. I can also see a player trying to split the gloves up so it probably ought to be mentioned that they have to be used together or not at all.
Overall, this is clever, well-executed magic item. Well done. :)
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
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This is a cool item. But it feels more like something a GM might give a bad guy in a lower level encounter.
Player 1: Hey, my bard is unconsious and at -3 and will be dead if I can't stabilize soon!
GM: The dastardly Phlegm McGee clenches his fist, and your bard is now at -4.
Player 1: Wah!
Hehe...
Can't see it as being much use to a player character though.
If a bloat mage wears this item, what happens? 'Cause that's the PC that I thought of first who would want this item. Does this boost their magic?
I like the name. The term "phlebotomist" came into common use in Italy as a medical practitioner (distinct from a doctor) in the 12th century.
The term has mutated in modern use, but it is evocative and interesting in its original context and appropriate.
Now that I've submitted my archetype, I've got a bit of time to respond to a few specific comments.
I like the limited blindsense (even if it becomes hard to justify to pinpoint all creatures if several of them are within range by a light tugging alone).
You've got me there. :) My proofreader asked why I didn't use a mask or goggles, since the blindsense aspect would be more easily explained. I answered that I wanted to stick with the clenched fist idea. I think, if I had the chance to rewrite the item, I would rather have the gloves allow the wearer to 'taste' the smell of blood in the air, maybe granting limited scent.
Wouldn't these gloves be useful to a cleric suffering temporary blindness or otherwise unable to locate party members in need?
I like that you've thought of a new way, which I didn't even consider, of using my item. Blood subdomain, anybody?
My only real concern is that not every creature that is dying got there by bleeding. Technically, your gloves could work on a drowning or suffocating victim as well.
You've got me there too. I based the ability on the bleed spell and I think I focused more on the name 'bleed' rather than the actual destabilise effect.
Thanks to everybody for their comments. I'll post a bit more later.
Phlebotomist’s Gloves
Aura faint necromancy; CL 3rd
Slot hands; Price 7000 gp; Weight - lbs.
Description
These red-coloured gloves only reveal their true nature when brought close to recently spilt blood. The gloves gently tug the wearer’s hands towards the fresh blood. This tugging does not impede the wearer and she can wield weapons, carry items and cast spells as normal. The wearer can concentrate on the tugging as a move action to determine the location of recently spilled blood. This grants the wearer limited blindsense for one round that allows her to detect creatures that are currently suffering from bleed damage or are dying within 30 ft. of her. Three times per day, by clenching one of her gloved hands into a fist, as a swift action, the wearer can accelerate the blood loss of those around her. Any creature within 30 ft. currently suffering from bleed damage takes its bleed damage immediately, in addition to the bleed damage it would normally take at the beginning of its turn. Any dying creature within 30 ft., not suffering from bleed damage, takes 1 hit point of damage.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bleed, deathwatch; Cost 3500 gp
Ask A RPGSuperstar Succubus is posting from the point of view of a CE aligned succubus – fairness is an adjective applicable to hair coloration, balance is what a couple of mortals on opposite ends of a plank pivoted on a rocky spire above a drop of several hundred feet into a pool of molten basalt frantically try to do, and logic is something which proves anything a demon of adequate status and charm requires it to demonstrate.
Is the item Pretty?
Red gloves - sounds good so far - but short on the fine detail of what they look like.
Does the item help a demonic seductress to keep a paladin house pet?
Not really, no.
Is the item otherwise useful?
Depends on the finer workings of the item.
Other Comments? (including World Domination potential on the evil laughter scale, where appropriate)
Succubi do not (generally) like to put themselves in the front line of a fight or close to serious brawling - we prefer to leave that to allies or servants - but this item appears to be reliant upon proximity to serious brawls for its main effect to be applicable. Maybe from the point of view of someone like one of those deranged berserker dervishes of Sarenrae or crazy battle-priests of Gorum this might be a fantastic item, but it doesn't initially seem to have much use for a succubus. Now I say 'initially', since I am a little unclear as to whether it is possible to employ the item from an adjacent plane? Could an ethereal succubus, for example, use this item to influence what is going on nearby on the prime-material plane? It's known that the attacks of some naturally ethereal creatures - such as spirits - can cross over into and affect the prime material plane, and this item becomes slightly more useful to a succubus if it is possible to use it from an adjacent plane to assist allies/servants fighting on the prime material.
I feel the need to add a note here on the topic of the item name. I've never heard of a 'phleboto mist', but I assume it's some sort of fog elemental native to your world? If so, why does it have/need gloves? Or is it that the item is named for some sort of blood sucking mist whose powers the gloves match? Anyway, silly name.
Gollum Rating:
Fisssh?
This is a sweet, mean little item. :D I, personally, would use this baby in a heartbeat (pun intended). Send in the combat powerhouses; take all enemies down to -1 or less hit points; spend a round stabilizing your allies; pull out the gloves. :D Definitely like.
Very spiffy cool item. :)
Three times per day, by clenching one of her gloved hands into a fist, as a swift action, the wearer can accelerate the blood loss of those around her. Any creature within 30 ft. currently suffering from bleed damage takes its bleed damage immediately, in addition to the bleed damage it would normally take at the beginning of its turn. Any dying creature within 30 ft., not suffering from bleed damage, takes 1 hit point of damage.
Yikes! (I like it.)
The evil GM in me can see me using this on my PCs. Picture it: Four of the PCs are in negative HPs, including the party cleric. The only one left is the party fighter and he's currently taking 2d6 bleed from the "Long Gash" card from the Critical Hit Deck. Mr. Fighter steps up to take out the last kobold and BAM! the little bugger clenches the fist of his funny red gloves. Everything goes black.
TPK potential aside, I like these gloves. Your item was very well executed and is full of great imagery. There's mojo here for sure.
Good job!
Edit: Fixed a typo.
Love it, especially the bindsense ability. This makes my top five.
Also, if you don't mind me asking? what were the other names you thought of for this one?
Also, if you don't mind me asking? what were the other names you thought of for this one?
Pre-submission samples:
Slaughterman's Gloves
Bloodletter's Gloves
Gloves of the Abbatoir
A post-submission sample:
Bloodseeker Gauntlets
This is great. Like others, I'm not sure the tugging need to be so lengthily described, but the item is so cool. I love the imagery of squeezing the blood out of your foes with your fist. The only thing that could make this better is if it were only a single glove. That way I could have a rusting glove too, and destroy your stuff with one hand and destroy your life with the other. It might also have been a good idea to mention dying victims become unstable and must re-stabilize, some people need it spelled out for them.
I will use this... against my PCs... all the time... until they are dead...twice.