Pop!
What the hell is this place? I was sure that stupid poodle thing was gonna get us.
poof!
Whar is that damn duck? Ah, thar he is. 'Ey, duck, wait up!
There's the duck. My fork would like to meet you.
There's nothing to stab here!
<Jumps up and down>
I want to go home!
What kinda idiots would have a one-way portal onto the ethereal plane in their doorway?
Oh... wait... they are poodles.
Yay! Something to poke with my fork.
<Chases after Puddle>
Hello, I'm a munchkin! (sings stupid song)
You should go see the wizard!
What kinda idiots would have a one-way portal onto the ethereal plane in their doorway?
Oh... wait... they are poodles.Yay! Something to poke with my fork.
<Chases after Puddle>
Orf! Hime ham rite hear!
Hello, I'm a munchkin! (sings stupid song)
You should go see the wizard!
Then I can get a heart!
Orf! Hime ham rite hear!What kinda idiots would have a one-way portal onto the ethereal plane in their doorway?
Oh... wait... they are poodles.Yay! Something to poke with my fork.
<Chases after Puddle>
Neat! You disappeared and reappeared!
<Pokes at Puddle>
Then I can get a heart!Hello, I'm a munchkin! (sings stupid song)
You should go see the wizard!
Does that mean I kin have a brain? I'm hungery.
Who is this kang yer talkin 'bout?
Orf! Hime ham rite hear!What kinda idiots would have a one-way portal onto the ethereal plane in their doorway?
Oh... wait... they are poodles.Yay! Something to poke with my fork.
<Chases after Puddle>
Neat! You disappeared and reappeared!
<Pokes at Puddle>
Owl! Taht hert! Hime ham gooing too goo hoom new.
Who is this kang yer talkin 'bout?
Is that the sound my fork makes when I hit one of the Jacks?
Owl! Taht hert! Hime ham gooing too goo hoom new.Orf! Hime ham rite hear!What kinda idiots would have a one-way portal onto the ethereal plane in their doorway?
Oh... wait... they are poodles.Yay! Something to poke with my fork.
<Chases after Puddle>
Neat! You disappeared and reappeared!
<Pokes at Puddle>
Can you take us with you?
<Bats eyelashes>
Pwease?
Hay! Hime caint fint teh poortal! Yelp! Hime ham steck inn heir wit uh bunk off stoopid drethes!
|
Owl! Taht hert! Hime ham gooing too goo hoom new.Orf! Hime ham rite hear!What kinda idiots would have a one-way portal onto the ethereal plane in their doorway?
Oh... wait... they are poodles.Yay! Something to poke with my fork.
<Chases after Puddle>
Neat! You disappeared and reappeared!
<Pokes at Puddle>
Can you take us with you?
<Bats eyelashes>
Pwease?
[slaad]
Yes, you can have a brain. I don't have my lobotomy gear with me though, so we'll have to use this canine bane pitchfork. Just lie down here...Does that mean I kin have a brain? I'm hungery.Then I can get a heart!Hello, I'm a munchkin! (sings stupid song)
You should go see the wizard!
*happily lays down while waiting for his treat to be extracted, rotting stump of a tail wagging excitedly*
Um... don't you idiots pay attention to a plot hook when you see one?
Sahrry. Kin yeh take us to this kang?
Um... don't you idiots pay attention to a plot hook when you see one?
<Scratches butt with pitchfork>
I just see a duck and a dog and a dretching and another dretching and you. No hooks...Oh, wait. Can you replace one of my hands with a hook? Yarr!
Umm... you mean the wizard?
......Quack???
Ok, you daft idiots are coming with me straight away. Munchkin laws. And don't try resisting. I can equip 5 chainsaws and cast 10 fireballs in one round.
Ok, you daft idiots are coming with me straight away. Munchkin laws. And don't try resisting. I can equip 5 chainsaws and cast 10 fireballs in one round.
Where are we going?
all follow the munchkin
Ahh, and who would you be?
*recoils in fear....until he remembers he's the only one that stated he has a weapon*
:)
Ok, you daft idiots are coming with me straight away. Munchkin laws. And don't try resisting. I can equip 5 chainsaws and cast 10 fireballs in one round.Where are we going?
To see the wizard. So you can get your heart. Can someone carry that poodlekin? Munches don't like poodles.
all follow the munchkin
Ahh, and who would you be?
I'm Ranch Dretching, and I'd like a live, beating, heart.
<Licks lips>
Y'all see a big, fat ethergaunt who looks really scary, and uses illusions to make special effects.
Who dares enter my domain? boom! flash off to your right like a fireball
all follow the munchkin
Ahh, and who would you be?I'm Ranch Dretching, and I'd like a live, beating, heart.
<Licks lips>
Very well. What will you give me in return?
summons a prime human specimen, shackled, and uses a gigantic meat cleaver to cut open his chest before handing the bloody heart to Ranch
Ah'd lahk a liver. Elven, preferably. And I'll give you the address of a really powerful kobold lich you could kill and use his spellbooks. Or I know where a bunch of slaad are living too, if you'd like that.
all follow the munchkin
Ahh, and who would you be?I'm Ranch Dretching, and I'd like a live, beating, heart.
<Licks lips>
Very well. What will you give me in return?
summons a prime human specimen, shackled, and uses a gigantic meat cleaver to cut open his chest before handing the bloody heart to Ranch
Um...
<Looks around>
Um....
How about this poodle?
Sore. Hime ham uh verry geode lapp dug.
I could kill those people if I wanted to.
I'll take the poodle. I'm very hungry.
And the duck. Duck is good.
Here's your liver
summons an elven woman, naked, and cuts open her stomach; hands the liver to Low-Fat Ranch
How about an arm and a leg? I'm partial to ranch.
Yelp! Yelp! Heme hiss trieing too ete mee!
gets caught by the munchkin
Ressurection mee bites off paw, flings it to the poodlekin
is eaten whole by the ethergaunt
<Paused>
Squack!
seizes cleaver from the ethergaunt, cuts off leg, then drops it in the chest cavity of the man
[slaad]** spoiler omitted **[/slaad]
*Plane shifts in*
THIEF! I'LL GET YOU!!!*Summons arcane energies*
*Does not blast because people are offline*
Oi! I wanted a whole duck...
Oh, fine. rummages around in the man's chest, pulls out a gory, scaly leg, then bites off a toe
What about you? looks at Poppyseed Dretching
Eh, I'm happy, seeing the prices that you're charging. Since when did ethergaunts eat flesh (or anything?)?
Silence, and stop ruining the canon! Gawd... You should be grateful if I even let you go after this.
Now, to get back to the Maelstrom you just have to find some slippers and clack them together, saying "There's no place like the Maelstrom," because there sure as hell isn't.grabs Low-Fat Ranch, bites off an arm and a leg, then lets her go
Mmm. Goodbye.