Kittens, poodles, and kobolds. Oh my...
Just like any other day in paradise. Strange, but not unusual.
For my part I have plugged all the privies. Now let's see how those uptight knights handle that.
*Puts the King's Throne that he took from the knights in the center of the clubhouse.* This throne is for the only true king, Callous Jack!
As a relatively new convert, I must know: What do Jacks do? What do they stand for? And what can/should I do as a Jack?
As a relatively new convert, I must know: What do Jacks do? What do they stand for? And what can/should I do as a Jack?
1. Honor the One True Jack.
2. Party like Rock Stars.3. Maintain order in the Universe though force of arms or alcohol, as appropriate. (see item 1)
4. If force of arms or alcohol fails to resolve disputes, release the Hounds of Hell, aka poodles.
5. Taunt lesser cults.
6. Be ever vigilant against the intrusions of imposters and impostors.
As a relatively new convert, I must know: What do Jacks do? What do they stand for? And what can/should I do as a Jack?
What do we do? We drink beer and party. We raid other cults for what we need. We're not nice and we're not politically correct.
What do we stand for? Our goal is world conquest and to convert all others into a Jack. Callous Jack is our lord and master. Obey him at all times.
What should you do as a Jack? Drink beer and have fun. However, there are times when you will to have to get serious and bash heads, especially when other cults try to raid us. Also, try to convert infidels into a Jack as well.
So true.
6. Be ever vigilant against the intrusions of imposter's and impostors.
*Throws the thief in Jack's clothing out the door*
Groans from the floor
Man did all those kittens and weirdos leave? Oh my aching processor. No more of that Sasserini purple worm tequila for me! That stoopid Sonny Godhead cult should be ashamed for even stocking that stuff and making it easy for us to steal.
*Throws the thief in Jack's clothing out the door*So true.
6. Be ever vigilant against the intrusions of imposters and impostors.
2 minutes and 13 seconds. Not bad.
2 minutes and 13 seconds. Not bad.*Throws the thief in Jack's clothing out the door*So true.
6. Be ever vigilant against the intrusions of imposters and impostors.
Thank you. However I only threw him 40 feet, a little below my normal mark.
Thank you. However I only threw him 40 feet, a little below my normal mark.2 minutes and 13 seconds. Not bad.*Throws the thief in Jack's clothing out the door*So true.
6. Be ever vigilant against the intrusions of imposters and impostors.
As long as he landed in a pile of poodle-doo-doo...
Groans from the floor
Man did all those kittens and weirdos leave? Oh my aching processor. No more of that Sasserini purple worm tequila for me! That stoopid Sonny Godhead cult should be ashamed for even stocking that stuff and making it easy for us to steal.
I know what you mean. We should sue them.
Groans from the floor
Man did all those kittens and weirdos leave? Oh my aching processor. No more of that Sasserini purple worm tequila for me! That stoopid Sonny Godhead cult should be ashamed for even stocking that stuff and making it easy for us to steal.
I prefer the term Asset Relocation...
As long as he landed in a pile of poodle-doo-doo...Thank you. However I only threw him 40 feet, a little below my normal mark.2 minutes and 13 seconds. Not bad.*Throws the thief in Jack's clothing out the door*So true.
6. Be ever vigilant against the intrusions of imposters and impostors.
Well, it's not hard to do that. The yard is full of landmines. How those little ankle-biters do so much I'll never know.
looks innocent
I keep telling you to use Plastic baggies but you never listen. Of course all the beer might have something to do with it.
We've been trying to get the poodles to use plastic baggies for years, but they're kinda slow on the uptake.
I keep telling you to use Plastic baggies but you never listen. Of course all the beer might have something to do with it.
*Throws the thief lord 50 feet into a pile of poodle landmines* Wow! That was my best throw yet!
-all the way back in the locker room-
I'm.... I think I'll try this "red wine" stuff that I "found" on Panama Jack's locker...
*bits off the cork and gulps it down straight from the bottle*
-all the way back in the locker room-
I'm.... I think I'll try this "red wine" stuff that I "found" on Panama Jack's locker...
*bits off the cork and gulps it down straight from the bottle*
Uh, FJ. Are you sure that's a good idea to drink that? That might be a magical lotion and not alcohol.
I keep telling you to use Plastic baggies but you never listen. Of course all the beer might have something to do with it.*Throws the thief lord 50 feet into a pile of poodle landmines* Wow! That was my best throw yet!
I guess there are some advantages to not using plastic baggies. ;-)
Of course if you can throw the stinky thief another 25 feet he'll clear the fence and land in the Frog Pond. That's where I've been tossing the landmines that show up on the sidewalk.
I keep telling you to use Plastic baggies but you never listen. Of course all the beer might have something to do with it.
Alright, it is Plantjack vs. CJ, Round 2.
*Decapitates CJ*That was tasty. When it Round 3?
This ring of feather fall was a great "loan", twice today it has kept me outta the "presents" on the lawn.
It's like a ride at Disney except no lines.
Except when you're floating slowly down into the landmines you are susceptible to 'other' forms of attack. *readies the poodle launcher*
Let alone that it gives the ground poodles time to encircle you.
Yes, we like rings of feather fall.
I keep telling you to use Plastic baggies but you never listen. Of course all the beer might have something to do with it.Alright, it is Plantjack vs. CJ, Round 2.
*Decapitates CJ*
That was tasty. When it Round 3?
He'll just resurrect again. He must have some sort of magical device.
I keep telling you to use Plastic baggies but you never listen. Of course all the beer might have something to do with it.Alright, it is Plantjack vs. CJ, Round 2.
*Decapitates CJ*
That was tasty. When it Round 3?
Darn it VTPJ we were gonna play pinata with CJ. Now we will only have the trunk to smack. Hey, no problem. That's where the most goodies are anyways.
Fred...Where is your head Fred? I told you to stay at least 20 feet from the Plant at all times while wearing my clothing. Sheeze its so hard to keep the Jacks occupied without good help.
Fred's skull is being repurposed as an ashtray for our cuban cigars.
It looks like the Jacks need a mission statement.
It looks like the Jacks need a mission statement.
We want to conquer the world and assimilate everyone. That's pretty much it.
Oh, so you are just a clone of the Paizomatrix cult?
Oh, so you are just a clone of the Paizomatrix cult?
No. When you are assimilated into a Jack you get to keep your personality. The Paizomatix system creates an emotionless drone.
Throw some balls of string around, that usually works with keeping kittens busy...
AND GET OFF MY LEG!
After yesterday's incident I believe that we should destroy the Viking Kittens for what they have done. What do you think Lord Callous?
Oh, so you are just a clone of the Paizomatrix cult?
Nah! its just that when the thieves get too noisy, we loose our temper and go all pinky and brain on the boards. But it goes away quickly
Now if you excuse me, that "red wine" got me a but tipsy...urgh...
Nah! its just that when the thieves get too noisy, we loose our temper and go all pinky and brain on the boards. But it goes away quickly
Wait, so if we get too annoying, Callous Jack begins making hare-brained schemes to take over the world with his dim-witted assistant? Cool! I should annoy you all more often.
Nah! its just that when the thieves get too noisy, we loose our temper and go all pinky and brain on the boards. But it goes away quicklyWait, so if we get too annoying, Callous Jack begins making hare-brained schemes to take over the world with his dim-witted assistant? Cool! I should annoy you all more often.
Watch your words thief before you become plant food.
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Maple Glazed Pork Tenderloin
Ingredients:
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves, crushed
• 1 teaspoon dried marjoram leaves, crushed
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 pound pork tenderloin, cut into 1/2-inch slices
• 1 tablespoon butter or margarine
• 2 tablespoons Hungry Jack® Microwave Ready Regular Syrup
Preparation Directions:
1. COMBINE thyme, marjoram, salt, onion powder and garlic powder in large resealable food storage bag. Seal bag and shake well. Add pork slices. Seal bag. Shake to coat.
2. MELT butter in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork mixture. Cook and stir 8 to 10 minutes or until pork is browned and no longer pink in center. Add syrup. Cook and stir until pork is glazed.
Yield: 4 servings
Prep Time: 7 min
Cook Time: 12 min
Maple Glazed Pork Tenderloin
Ingredients:
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves, crushed
• 1 teaspoon dried marjoram leaves, crushed
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 pound pork tenderloin, cut into 1/2-inch slices
• 1 tablespoon butter or margarine
• 2 tablespoons Hungry Jack® Microwave Ready Regular SyrupPreparation Directions:
1. COMBINE thyme, marjoram, salt, onion powder and garlic powder in large resealable food storage bag. Seal bag and shake well. Add pork slices. Seal bag. Shake to coat.
2. MELT butter in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork mixture. Cook and stir 8 to 10 minutes or until pork is browned and no longer pink in center. Add syrup. Cook and stir until pork is glazed.Yield: 4 servings
Prep Time: 7 min
Cook Time: 12 min
Can we substitute the random thief or viking kitten in lieu of the pork tenderloin? It might be a bit more gamey but it will cut down on the interruptions of our beer time.
Nah! its just that when the thieves get too noisy, we loose our temper and go all pinky and brain on the boards. But it goes away quicklyWait, so if we get too annoying, Callous Jack begins making hare-brained schemes to take over the world with his dim-witted assistant? Cool! I should annoy you all more often.
Yum. Masked Rogue.
*Decapitates*
Can we substitute the random thief or viking kitten in lieu of the pork tenderloin? It might be a bit more gamey but it will cut down on the interruptions of our beer time.
I wouldn't reccomend substituting thieves into this. We're too gameeaaaAAhhhglarblewarble
Can we substitute the random thief or viking kitten in lieu of the pork tenderloin? It might be a bit more gamey but it will cut down on the interruptions of our beer time.I wouldn't reccomend substituting thieves into this. We're too gameeaaaAAhhhglarblewarble
*Kicks headless body* That's for insulting Callous Jack and me.
Can we substitute the random thief or viking kitten in lieu of the pork tenderloin? It might be a bit more gamey but it will cut down on the interruptions of our beer time.I wouldn't reccomend substituting thieves into this. We're too gameeaaaAAhhhglarblewarble
*Wipes mouth with thief's napkin*
He was right. They are rather gamy. They are still pretty good, though.
Drunk Drone…Emotionless Drone…hmmmm.
Drunk Drone…Emotionless Drone…hmmmm.
You're welcome to try assimilation yourself. We don't normally assimilate poodles because...poodles usually aren't worth assimilating. You may like it, however.
*Leans in through window, holding loudspeaker*
*Leans in through window, holding loudspeaker*
I'm the one that has your mask. It's gonna cost ya.
I'm the one that has your mask. It's gonna cost ya.