Thank YOU!!! I think I can manage to come up with that much.
YAY holy water on demand. I'd be more than happy to contribute the few silver pieces, 54 to be exact, I have on me to this ordeal. I don't carry a lot of silver with me oh well. I'd be more than happy to get some or file it down for your needs so you can rest and do your magic thing.
An interesting tactic that I have seen employed is to douse yourself with a few vials and then grapple a demon. It works best if you are not heavily armored and are wearing somewhat spongy clothing.
I seem to recall someone getting a bonus to this particular action by my old DM's rendition becuase they persisted in wearing Padded Armor. We started calling Spongeman Holypants.
An interesting tactic that I have seen employed is to douse yourself with a few vials and then grapple a demon. It works best if you are not heavily armored and are wearing somewhat spongy clothing.
I seem to recall someone getting a bonus to this particular action by my old DM's rendition becuase they persisted in wearing Padded Armor. We started calling Spongeman Holypants.
You know, if someone's willing to suck the pain of wearing padded armor, and can produce enough vials of holy water to actually saturate such an outfit, I'd be happy (altough the villain would not) to rule that grappling with such an outfit would be a highly unpleasant experience.
Although mention of such mockeries of existence as the burple dumbosaur and the yellow-colored mop-child should bring great shame on your head Yasha. tsk tsk
Oh yes, I am quite ashamed, but due to my having a small child and being often subjected to such horrible sanity-draining nonsense makes me want to share it with everyone.
I do so try...though I'll admit to having no idea what stroke of genius I have inspired.
Speaking of which...as my other avatar was getting a little old, I decided to go with something that actually looks like me. I'm just not so weathered.
Now if I can just make some armor and find some goblins to kill...I'll be just as cool. Hmm...those neighborhood brats...no, not green or bluish enough.
Thank you, Yasha, you have given me an idea!! You are wonderful!!Oh yes, I am quite ashamed, but due to my having a small child and being often subjected to such horrible sanity-draining nonsense makes me want to share it with everyone.
Hey! Hey! Hey! NO Summonings of Burplesaurus and Vegetative Brain Slurping Diminuitive critters you!
I do so try...though I'll admit to having no idea what stroke of genius I have inspired.
Speaking of which...as my other avatar was getting a little old, I decided to go with something that actually looks like me. I'm just not so weathered.
Now if I can just make some armor and find some goblins to kill...I'll be just as cool. Hmm...those neighborhood brats...no, not green or bluish enough.
I recommend food coloring in water baloons to achieve the necessary, temporary skin pigmentation Yasha. Or imprisonment for a few hours in a meat locker.
Well we have had some interesting times recently Ladies and Gents. After a rather unhappy night in what used to be a demon’s lair we set about demolishing a rash ugly statue. Now seeing as how I’m not an idiot I was pretty sure the statue would try and get up and return the favor.
Sometimes I hate it when I’m right. We started by calling on some of the blessing of the gods represented in this little band, along with a few things added from our finger wigglers. I planned to call down the less lasting spells on my way through the room to the statue. Unfortunately the silly thing got impatient and decided to come out into the room to meet us. It was a short fight, and rather painful for a few, but nothing all that impressive.
The rest of the trip to Farshore was also pretty unimpressive, but not so our arrival there. Apparently some rather pathetic pirates got there first. We split up to waste them as fast as possible. I ran after the leader with Da Fighter fallowing as fast as his stubby little legs could carry him. As it was he was only barely able to get there in time to put the finishing touches on the moron leading this little screw up.
After question the one sorry snot that managed to survive we found out we had about 2 months before this place was due to get wiped off the map. We all set about to making sure that didn’t happen, and on the way we had a few surprises.
The biggest surprise in store for the captain was to find that Amella was rounding out in a family way. Well the truth is that I didn’t even have to think twice after hearing this. I went out and bought the most expensive ring I could find in the town. The I got down on my knees before a wonderful woman and told her that I loved her deeply, both because of and inspite of her foul mouth and attitude. I’m happy to announce that she said yes. So once she gets back from taking trade goods we’ll have a ceremony.
Now some of you may be wondering why I sent my lady love off to captain a ship while she’s swelling? Especially since she will be gone and possibly at sea when a new life joins the world? Well, the truth is that the Captain is worried. There are a lot of ships coming, a whole lot. I know I can look after myself, and we are doing all we can to bump this up, but I’m not sure I could protect myself, Amella and our child. This way all I have to do is stay alive till they return, and I think I can manage that.
We also had a little entertainment when we went to get help from the Olmans. Some pansy little god’s messenger showed up whining about a missing statue. To pacify the big baby we took back the stupid little thing, which we had found on our travels. I will say that despite being a big whiner-baby, he was pretty generous with the rewards when we returned it. I got a shiny new breastplate, which may help some when we go into the deeper parts of the islands.
Oh, and one of the side projects the Captain has started on is the building of a combined bar and Temple of Kord. If you can't figure out why the captain would combine the two, then you haven't been paying attention.
Hurray, they all survived. I worried after that last fight that somebody else might not make it. I would be honored to die in battle against a evil of this nature, knowing that we stopped it and that the other made it out. This one definitely was not the final one; it was a bit of a push over when we actually get some rest before a big fight. We locked ourselves in a small treasure room incase the demon returned to annoy us. Back to the room where we found our wandering journalist; I like that name, wandering journalist, I shall refer to her as that from now on, it fits so much better. Anyways, we headed back to the main chamber where we found our wandering journalist. I had a hunch, the captain blurted out the same hunch that the huge statue of a two headed fiend with tentacles or the last fiend was going to be bad new to us. We wasted no resources for this fight; spending maybe two minutes augmenting ourselves against our next foe. With kord on our side, we barged in; as soon as we opened the door, I knew there was someone; the chains that had held the wandering journalist had been put away. We moved into position and waited for the inedible. The statue came to life and ran right into the middle of all of us and let one of the mightiest roars I have ever heard; not that it could faze a might follow of Kord, can’t say as much for the rest of our group, I saw a couple of them shaking out of the corner of my eye. We surrounded the fiend and commenced mauling it mightily. The journalist remembered some really cool spell thing that would make all of our attacks cut clean though it’s flesh. She must have been rust at it since the fiend got off a hit against her, ruining that beautiful affect. None the less, it died quickly. I hadn’t noticed until this moment but there was a very powerful uplifting of energy that even I felt. A dark feeling lifted off the air, but it quickly set back in, we were still stuck in this place.
We quickly checked the room for anything useful; there was some ring, not much else. We found that the mirror we came over through was now working, finally, a way out of this nightmare. The fog that had troubled our travels had lifted and we made our way to far shore within a couple of days, but not to a nice and peaceful trading town; they were under attack. We split up and quickly overtook them. The wandering journalist dealt with a burning building. Tightbutt and appetizer dealt with several pirates trying to break into the local chapel, Sir Inetpus dealt with an Orc threatening to defile a young woman while the captain and I went after the leader and his squad of walking targets. For the first time, I detest these short dwarf legs. The captain didn’t want to wait for me and got most of the fun. I really only got the killing blow against the leader, he didn’t appreciated being charged and flanked and a full power hit that cleaved him in half. We won the town back quickly. We had several survivors in the mean time. We managed to get out of them that they were a greedy scouting party for a huge fleet of ships that were coming in two months. If it wasn’t for their arrogance, they might have lived; we made them dig graves for the fallen from the town, they were few but one was too many. We ended their lives for their crimes and have them the burial that all, even criminals deserve.
We were left with the task of getting this town and it’s people ready for battle. We have been fortifying the defenses, getting mines up and running efficiently and most importantly, recruiting the local spirit men for there warriors and labor. Before leaving, I we set up a mine, bringing in a might haul in only a week, improved the existing mortar and other building materials, buffed the walls with spears and the like for defenses, I don’t remember what else, I have already put in a 16 hour day of mining, caring for my woman and managing the others in the mining. At least I don’t have to worry about this a$$ running for mayor of this town, we got the right person in office and managed to convert a large portion of the town into Kord followers, or at least acknowledgers.
We left for one of the local tribes to gain their warriors for the fight to come. When we arrived, we saw some ritual of fire and “necromancy?” they called it. Their god was not happy that a statue was stolen and was going to destroy the entire island should he not be appeased. Luckily, we had picked up the statue in the fiend temple, I guess they were trying to have their own god destroy them for not returning this important item. To earn their trust, we went up the twin volcano’s and found the alter where it was taken from. The best part was, a bat figure came out and sort of paid up for our trouble. A vault was exposed with numerous items within. We each got to pick one up. The captain got a power suit of armor, I picked something I had only heard about, it was called a luck stone, very valuable, not what I really wanted, but I should be able to get something nice for it. We are heading back to the tribe tomorrow morning after the night’s rest. We still have a lot of time left; at this rate we should have the entire in ship shape and ready to beat back this fleet.
Also, the captain is going to be a father. I am overjoyed for him, but sad that my new form has made me unable to have a child with a human; I have no son to carry on my name should my final battle before going before Kord should come. I heard something about a way for the gods to grant such a miracle to someone in my predicament; I shall have to research this matter.
Mr. Da Fighter, I understand your pain and despair about not having the ability to pass your name on, especially with doom looming not far away...just two short months.
Perhaps you'll just have to find yourself a nice Dwarf lass!
Or just be satisfied that Dwarves are not cross-fertile and let the good times roll.
After rescuing our wondering journalist I restrained my self from scolding her. Seeing as her mistake has lead us to defeating a foul demons. After thinking about it I thought that this would be a great deed to defeat such a threat. I hope Kord was pleased. We predicted that the statue of this two headed tentacled beast would be a problem. We gained Kords might by a number of spells cast and we quickly stormed the play. My gut failed me as I was shaken by this beasts fiendish magical powers. I was able to get in one good set of blows before thing slapped and grabbed me and then commenced to crush me all in one quick motion. However my fortitude did hold true as it allowed me to resist it's weakening attacks. But with us working as a team we had a win to show for Kord.
....more later...
((And there is some evidence they can be cross-fertile in the right situation. Anyone here ever heard of Muls?))
((And there is some evidence they can be cross-fertile in the right situation. Anyone here ever heard of Muls?))
In spite of the speculation regarding the 'validity' of the BoEF in the campaign, (which it is not) I will use this chance to solve the dilemma.
On Oerth, where the characters are, dwarves are decidedly not cross-fertile with humans (among just about any other critter). Muls (referenced above) are unique to Athas, the Dark Sun setting.
Sorry Da Fighter, but for now take relish in the fact that one will not have to worry about contaminating the gene pool for a time. One could always have the mage types drop a well-worded limited wish later on I suppose... ^_^
Ah, Kord has definitely been on my side in the last couple weeks. We have visited yet another local village of tribals to ask for their warriors. They were agreeable to our request but needed an issue they “were” currently having. There were two very large monsters attacking all that came close to a nearby tar pit. The town could make excellent use of these resources and the warriors to come from it. With some more translation, we I was able to figure out that there was most likely a much more buff than normal t-rex running around somewhere with some weird hyphenated name. We have dealt with this monster before and with all of out training in the mean time, we were not worried about this. Well, we found out that the beguiler needs to learn that language better because it was not one monster but two; stupid language complications. These monsters were quite an annoyance. They were far tougher than the last one, but the rewards were well worth it. The captain and his naturally buffing self took on one by himself while I dealt with keeping the other one off the rest of the party and preparing myself for combat with this beautiful monster. I have been working on my grapple resisting abilities but they were no match for this monster; I asked for some help from the appetizer, something they call freedom of movement, I call it freedom from being lunch, but that’s not important. Sir Inetpus insisted on going to check out its insides immediately. It picked him up and was immediately swallowed again. He learned how to get out quicker this time and managed to give me the much needed flanking on this beast. I immediately put all my power into my next assault, chopping it to pieces within seconds. The captain and his near impossible to hit self dealt with the other one, minus several good hits the rex got off. It didn’t take long to clean up that mess. Now we have three good heads to mount on our fleet of ships to come.
We continued to a nearby temple with a large weapon stash. We immediately noticed a huge sized snake but the beguiler charmed it away. Oh well, I really didn’t need new luggage or shoes anyways. Inside the temple, a quick illusionary trap pit and some stairs later, we found a couatl, still guarding this temple out of honor. We talked with it for some time, learning much about the horrors of the savage tide, the fiendish plots for this island and the fate of his kind. He gave us the weapons to help our cause. There were many masterwork quality weapons of all kinds. The most impressive which I picked up was a greatsword of pure power. I was looking into another magical affect but this is far better and available now. Our last stop was to salvage our old ship and bring it back to fight off the invading fleet. We got there only to find that there was already someone there. He and his two minions quickly died at my sword’s end. He got off one good shot with some lightning before hiding in the ship. I quickly moved into flank with one of the minions; one was named blood tooth and the other red maw. After achieving position, I threw all of my powering into my attacks and destroyed them instantly. Then I forgot what happened however this is what I was told and vaguely remember. After that affect, I charged Sir Ineptus and attempted to slaughter him. Only because of his mass buffing thanks to the fingerwiglers did I miss him, causing mass damage. All I remembered was snapping awake behind Sir Ineptus with my sword at the ready it seemed to hit him. Oh well, nobody was mad at me, and we got the ship back. Back to town for some more preparation’s before the big fight
((Not a chance, I expect to have to work both the 31st and the 1st))
While I find the concept appealing Sir Ineptus and Co., the realistic chances of my being able to successfully remaining conscious all night for a game these days is firmly between slim and none. Many thanks for the offer, however. :) Have fun!
The all night game? Sorry, but the last thing I want to do that night is to spend an entire evening and morning in one of those hard chairs. I think ooc Jimmy and I are going to spend the evening together for once in a many many months. Sorry Keith, but I just want to spend the evening with my love. You should do the same:) Merry Christmas!
I do not thing that that would be a problem for me. I would like to not wait three weeks between the last and next game if possible. Just let me know what people want to do.
As far as I am aware, this coming Sunday is the next scheduled session for Crew 1, as they prepare to embrace the Assault on Farshore sans Appetizer...
This Sunday I hope is a go. I don't want to wait three weeks either.I do not thing that that would be a problem for me. I would like to not wait three weeks between the last and next game if possible. Just let me know what people want to do.As far as I am aware, this coming Sunday is the next scheduled session for Crew 1, as they prepare to embrace the Assault on Farshore sans Appetizer...
Sunday is a go, just not new years day or eve, for I have plans already:)
Sorry to make you wait folks, but the captain is back with another tale. Our little band continued to ty and reinforce the colony so it can survive the coming battle. I may be dangerous and powerful, but I know I can't take on a fleet by myself, at least right now.
First we went to help out a village of weird little buggers, who were having trouble with some beasty at a tarpit. Of course the Blabbermouth screwed up with her translation and didn't let us know it was two rather than one big @ss lizard. As they charged from either side I called to the blessing of Kord to stand toe to toe with the one the left.
I left the one on the right for the others, so they'd have something to do. While the Journalist and lady Tightbutt sent some healing my way, it wasn't actually needed. At least they didn't step in and attack it. I took down that bugger all on my own. We of course collected our next two prows. Someday I'll be Admiral Monkamuck.
The little furballs sent us to some temple in the north, which was home to the biggest snake I'd ever seen. Now seeing as how we didn't need to make luggage for a titan, we let Blabbermouth charm it and send it on it's way. Underneath the temple was a winged snake, and we let Blabbermouth get to work again. As a result we got a few magic goodies and a bunch of quality sharp and pointies for the militia to use.
We also finally retrieved the Sea Wyvern. Some stupid little squid with a pair of swimming lizards went down pretty quickly to our fists and blades. It did manage to over power Da Fighter's weak little mind and turn him against Sir Ineptus. He manage to survive the onslought, not that it would have been a big loss if he hadn't.
Now it's about time for the assault by the cowardly pink fleet. We'll rip them into little bitty pieces in no time.
OOC: Since I am very sick, this journal entry might be just as random as the first few. I am hoping to recap the last few sessions accuratly. DM, please correct me if I go astry...
Journal Entry 5/6/7 and so on...
After the awful experience with the demon, I have been having these side experiences with a very handsome man. For the moment, he will remain nameless, for I never want to see anything to happen to him. Each night, I have fallen into his dream land, which seems more real then possible. We spend the day swimming, eatting the most amazing food, and just lingering in oneanothers arms. I have never felt more safe. One night, I fell asleep in his arms in his hammock and when I awoke, even though I knew it was real, I rise from my sleep back at the camp of my fellow crew members and my captain. Around my neck is a charm, of a silver phoenix, and a comforting phrase uttered by the lips of my dearest lord. Again, for my own safety, I have decided to keep some things secret for the time being. Should the time come for these secrets to be revealed, I promise to share them once again with the world. There is much still to write, and much still to happen to myself and the entire crew. I sense a very large journal entry coming on. For now, I would like to rest...tomorrow is another day.
OOC: Since I am very sick, this journal entry might be just as random as the first few. I am hoping to recap the last few sessions accuratly. DM, please correct me if I go astry...
Journal Entry 5/6/7 and so on...
After the awful experience with the demon, I have been having these side experiences with a very handsome man. For the moment, he will remain nameless, for I never want to see anything to happen to him. Each night, I have fallen into his dream land, which seems more real then possible. We spend the day swimming, eatting the most amazing food, and just lingering in oneanothers arms. I have never felt more safe. One night, I fell asleep in his arms in his hammock and when I awoke, even though I knew it was real, I rise from my sleep back at the camp of my fellow crew members and my captain. Around my neck is a charm, of a silver phoenix, and a comforting phrase uttered by the lips of my dearest lord. Again, for my own safety, I have decided to keep some things secret for the time being. Should the time come for these secrets to be revealed, I promise to share them once again with the world. There is much still to write, and much still to happen to myself and the entire crew. I sense a very large journal entry coming on. For now, I would like to rest...tomorrow is another day.
OH< GREAT!!! She is having an affair with a daemon/incabus just what the
party needs.
Ummmm....Ewww
An affair with an incubus? LoL
Fortunately Torsin, incubi in D&D are emphatically 'male' demons of the lecherous persuasion. In short, seduction is not one of thier strong suites as a general rule of thumb. A succubus that had an ability to appear as male, however, is another possibility.
However, one can take comfort in that Mr Ape Demon has no knowledge of the man of whom The Journalist speaks. Based on certain dialog between said Ape Demon and The Journalist, it is clear that he would not undertake such an elaborate ruse. Rather, he would once more abduct her and do whatever strikes his fancy...
Oh dear lord...........uhhh....ISLAND ISLAND ISLAND!!!!
The plot thickens it would seem.
The plot thickens it would seem.
Hahaha...I'm not really laughing...
She's been shanghaied by Olangru and replaced with a doppleganger (or maybe even killed by one of those brain-eating Greater ones) or a succubus with instructions to infiltrate and destroy the party!
OK, you guys are just weird...:) *shivers* at the mention of his name. Ok, you really want me to fill you in...HAHA! TOO BAD! SUCKERS! LOL. I will tell everyone when the time comes, which might be after Sundays game when "he whom must not be named" shows his ugly monkey demon head again. Turin? Will he 0.0?
She's been shanghaied by Olangru and replaced with a doppleganger (or maybe even killed by one of those brain-eating Greater ones) or a succubus with instructions to infiltrate and destroy the party!OK, you guys are just weird...:) *shivers* at the mention of his name. Ok, you really want me to fill you in...HAHA! TOO BAD! SUCKERS! LOL. I will tell everyone when the time comes, which might be after Sundays game when "he whom must not be named" shows his ugly monkey demon head again. Turin? Will he 0.0?
Asides from the fact that none of the CHARACTERS know his name, why would I even tell you if he is to make another appearance? :-D
Asides from the fact that none of the CHARACTERS know his name, why would I even tell you if he is to make another appearance? :-DShe's been shanghaied by Olangru and replaced with a doppleganger (or maybe even killed by one of those brain-eating Greater ones) or a succubus with instructions to infiltrate and destroy the party!OK, you guys are just weird...:) *shivers* at the mention of his name. Ok, you really want me to fill you in...HAHA! TOO BAD! SUCKERS! LOL. I will tell everyone when the time comes, which might be after Sundays game when "he whom must not be named" shows his ugly monkey demon head again. Turin? Will he 0.0?
Haha, oh right. Ok "Ape Demon" better? I know he will make an appearence, for you have already told me that, but when is the question. Boy she is hugging that charm for LIFE! lol
((Due to what happened at the game yesterday, the group will no longer be posting on this thread. Some important things have been changed by these events. Don't worry, a new thread will be starting up soon to replace this one, and I promise you will recognize it when you see it.))
Keep your eyes pealed for the next journal entry from the new "CAPTAIN" Joselin the Journalist. Yes, I'm now a Captain...don't ask me why...although, our last little adventure definatly entitles each of us to our own darn ship, that's for sure. Just tell me one thing...why did I get "The Hag" again? Why not something nice like...."The Gorathian"...*Slaps hand to mouth* Actually, that has sort of a nice ring to it...