Grrrrr! I be Bane! Oldest brother left at home I am about to turn 20, I have one older sister who still lives with us and an older brother who has already left to fight in the war. That lilly livered coward left, shirking his responsibilities to the family. We also have two younger brothers and a younger sister. After Unc died a few years back, I've been watching out for this family, and I'll be d*#ned if I'm gonna let anyone hurt em. Growing up I was always the wild one (Barbarian), running around getting into trouble with my crew of street toughs. But, all that changed when Unc died. Now I've joined the militia so that I can put food on our table while protecting the city. We only meet to train once a month, so I still have plenty of time with me boyo's. One good thing has come of it though, I met a sweet little honey pot that's an animal trainer for the militia. She's been takin real good care of me, though my older sister doesn't like her so much, and has takin to affectionately *cough* *cough* calling her our little whore. She's a good girl though, and really older sis is just jealous cuz her job as a cleric of Pelor and grave tender at the temple means she doesn't see a lot of action. I swear if she would just get laid my life would be a whole lot easier. On the other end of the spectrum, my youngest brother has hit 'that age' of 17 when he wants to dry hump every girls leg that he sees. Recently there was quite a commotion at a temple of Weejas, well I suppose I was the commotion, since I apparently am not as reverent as those uptight goth chicks would like. But, the little bro has apparently taken a liking to them. Though I think its mainly just cuz they are a bit of T&A. Ah well. Life has been pretty crazy recently. Late one night a couple weeks ago we heard a commotion outside of our place, a house in the slums our uncle had owned before he passed away. Well, I poked my head outside to see what the racket was, figuring it just to be a few bums being drunk. Well, I'll tell you, I was more than a bit surprised to see the most beautiful young boy I've ever seen, now I'm not gay by any means, but this boy's prettier than most girls in the slums, being chased by some street thugs. WEll, I knew someone as weak looking as this child didn't stand a chance, so I ..... intervened..... the bodies won't be minded down here in the slums, though it was a tough fight, with my older sis gettin knocked out, and I just about went down as well. If it hadn't been for my younger sis gettin back from her job serving at a nearby inn, we coulda been in real trouble. Luckily, she knows her way around a pair of swords real nice. Anyways, turns out these guys were tryin to start up a new theives guild and we had to bust their heads cuz they had been hired to kidnap the pretty boy, I think he might be eunich. Well, after we tracked down their leader we found that he had also stolen a key from a famous lockpick. After agreeing to hunt down the precious family heirloom we also learned of a theft from the city library. Apparently some book of major power, though I really don't care much for books, some scrawny guy with pointy fingernails was attributed with the crime. He was also deemed to be the one who had hired the previously mentioned gang. Well, with this in mind we learned he had been hiding in temple of Weejas to the north of Greyhawk. Now, I don't much like magic, think its too powerful for mortals to be runnin around shootin off like there ain't no tomorrow. Probably won't be if the keep throwin their spells about all nimbly wimbly either! So I was none to excited about goin into this barrow. On the way there we were ambushed by a couple o ogres, one of which was throwin some crazy lightin javelins about. I of course had to save everybody once again by wrestlin one of the ogres to the ground while the other 4 people fought the remaining ogre. Course, older sis bein the kind hearted wench she is had to take in the kid so he's been taggin along. He does have some crazy strong powers, but he needs to be learnin a little responsibility with them if you ask me, pretty sure he's a eunich too, no man can ever be that pretty. Ah well, I'm gettin a bit parched, I need a brew before I continue tellin this tale.....
Ahhhh, that dwarven stout really hits the spot, them shorties sure do know how to make a good lager! Now, where was I, ah yes the Barrow Temple of Weejas. Now, when we were takin care o that street gang, we had taken a likin to their hideout in the River Quarter bein as it was a much nicer place than our Uncles house, plus I wasn't too sure about who might be watchin that place lookin for the kid, so we moved in. Settin it up as our new place we left our younger brother there to clean and cook, while my lady stayed behind as well to train a couple of hyenas that the thugs had been keepin there. So we set out and met them dirty ogres. Havin thoroughly stomped their ugly faces in we finally reached the barrow. Now, let me tell you, the first thing that shoulda indicated we needn't be in that foul place was the stream o blood leadin past the door in a cut channel from a well. That just don't be havin a good feelin to it ya know. Well, course, my older sis bein the kind hearted lass she is, wanted to find more about who's been huntin the kid, and said we had a duty to fulfil to the lockpick as he had paid us a bit o gold up front. Well, I said we shoulda just left, still say we shoulda just left the tomb and the kid, but when sis 'as got an idea in her mind ain't no stoppin her, and seein as how the families safety is in my hands I didn't have much say in the matter. So in we went, the tomb itself had been looted, but the librarian had given us some rune or key thingy that opened a hidden door. Course, the door was in a pool of blood which emptied down the passageway that was revealed when we used the key, again, shoulda turned around right then and there. But, down into the cave we went. Soon as we got down the first set o blood soaked stairs things started goin bad. Round the corner stumbled up a couple o the livin dead, creapy bastards with rotting flesh. Well, sis was able to scare them off with her little symbol o Pelor, but it didn't help the fact that we were still standing in a blood drenched cave. To make things worse we saw that we weere standing on a rock shelf that overlooked a giant shaft goin down the center of the cave. This shaft was lined with an enormous number of skulls with a giant pool of blood at the bottom. Course, there was a steady flow of blood dripping down the opening in the wall that was lookin into the pit. In fact, there was blood running down all the walls and drippin from the ceilin too. Again, not leavin right then may be one o the top 5 mistakes in my life due to the next happenings. Well, course we started followin them zombies down the only passage way that went round the giant shaft o doom. Now, the stairs in the passage were leadin down, and they along with the rough rocky walls were slick with blood so it took us some time makin our way. Course, within another few minutes we had run into more zombies. Disgusting things these too. Well, since we didn't know how many there were, we decided to fight this time. Bad move, a grabbed the nearest one to me since I be a strong man, I don't be needin no wussie weapons. Well, this turns out to be not so fun when what you be wrestlin with is filled with maggots. I promptly tossed it through an opening in the wall to my right so that it fell down into the pit below. One would think that I woulda learned my lesson from that, but bein as I didn't have any weapons I didna have much choice in the matter so I grabbed another and wrestled it to the ground as it spewed vomit and rotten organs all over me. Most disgusting thing I ever felt, sorta like rubbery goo that smelled worse than a trolls offal. Well, I pounded its face in once it was on the ground, its rotten bones easily becoming mush under my massive fists. My family was able to take care o a couple the others just as the little f*#k's that sis had scared off the first time came back and ended up pinning us inbetween the two groups. Luckily I was able to get into the hallway to make sure that only one o them could get at me at a time. So as I grabbed one after another, my sis would cut em to ribbons while I held em down. Though another one would get shots at me as well, it was alright cuz I'm a tough bastard, an' its gonna take a lot more than a couple o zombies to take me down. Well, we finally destroyed all the zombo's and started movin on, but not before I bathed in the blood dripping past. Anything was better than zombie puke and maggots crawlin on me, disgusting business zombies. Not that the blood was much better, but at least it was a more familiar feeling. I'm pretty used ta the blood o my enemies sprayin on me, so it was tollerable at least. Anyways, we continued on, and found an empty crypt, sis said it had been defiled an' that we should set it right if we could, but that we'd have ta find the guy who'd been buried there, great idea when there's the livin dead wanderin around, but I'm just the meat. I don't do the thinkin. So we finally made our way to the bottom level that opened into the giant pool of blood. Though, we might not have made it that far if it hadn't been for older sis usin the power o the gods ta destroy about a million zombie rats. Who the f*#k makes undead rats, tha's just sick! Anyways, bein the meat I crossed the pool o blood first and found the zombie I had tossed down earlier, apparently the fall hadn't completely destroyed him. Now as I've said before I ain't one fer magic, and just about the same time I grabbed this zombo to finish it off I saw the scariest piece o sh*te I ever seen in my life. Some creepy dude castin a spell, well I ain't to proud to say I turned an made a hasty retreat back through the pool I had just come through. Though, as I was runnin I saw that a bunch o skellies had been hidin in the pool an ambushed my family. Well, I still was want'n real bad to get away from that scary f*&k, so I slammed my fist into one o the skellies as I ran past, explodin its skull into a million bits. Luckily, just as I rounded the corner into the passageway I ran into a couple more skellies that were apparently runnin from my sis an Pelor's holy symbol again. Well, a little pissed that I was runnin away, I got my courage back as I pounded the crap outta these two. Just as I was comin back into the bottom o the shaft I saw my younger sis slidin under the surface o the blood unconscious. As I started makin my way back through the pool I saw the kid firin off his magic at the dude that I had ran from, though he didn't seem nearly as scary in the new light of the shaft so I let 'im be. Well, my little bro was pullin on my little sis to keep her from drownin as he fed her a potion. Well, just as she was gettin up he took a nasty blow from one of the skeletons and had his throat slit pretty badly and he fell under the blood just as he was draggin sis ta safety. Well, big sis healed him with her magic and then she went down too. So I finished off the last two skellies and the zombo myself, cuz big sis is a bit too much o a pacifist ta do any fightin, so she ain't so good with the mace she carries. Anyways, the kid finally kilt tha bastard cleric, and little bro gave sis a potion. Sis said that the skellie that had taken a mighty chop outa my bro was the one that belonged in the tomb, so we decided ta take care o that later. Whew, I'm gettin parched again, bartender another round! Ya don't mind payin do ya friend?
Ah, thanks much! That's good stuff! So, we had just beaten the crap outta this cleric an his undead minions. Luckily, we found a couple o potions on the guy and were able to heal up a bit cuz the dude wasn't the fingernail a** we were lookin for. So we knew there was still more to go through. On the far side of the pool there was a hallway with some creepy columns leadin to a single door. Finally, we had found actual worked stone again, but it was still soaked with blood, and slippery as hell. Well, as soon as we stepped through the doors we saw the guy we was lookin for, Veltargo, I think was his name, don't matter much now I suppose. But, anyways, there was a giant statue of a half man half monster thing in the middle of trough along one wall. Well, Veltargo, cast a spell as soon as we entered summoning some large skeleton. Scary bastard that, about 9 feet tall with a huge axe, not fun at all. So, I rushed it grabbing it by a couple of its ribs, I picked it up and suplexed it onto its stupid head, then proceeded to holding it down. Though, it was tough bastard, so I couldn't hold onto it real well cuz it was so much bigger than me, which is sayin somethin cuz I'm not small. But, I was able to stick with it enough to at least keep it from hittin the others. Unfortunately, Veltargo got in some good blows on my little sis, and she fell unconcious again. Luckily, my little bro was able to get her another potion, and together with the kid they were able to bring 'im down, while big sis and me focused on the big skellie. After whooping the crap outta them we found the book, though it was missing some pages, and the key nearby. Sis says the book had one of the most powerful magical locks on it ever, that not even the librarians had been able to find a wizard who could unlock it. Well, that didn't set to well with me, but after sis had returned the skelly to its tomb we set out for home, takin the key an the book with us. Now, when we got back, we found out that the key was magic, some artifact that allowed it ta open any lock in Greyhawk, but it had lost its power when it opened the book, cuz the magic on the book was so powerful. The librarians said that the book could possibly contain a way to bring back some big bad deity or somethin, not good at all. An in a letter to Veltargo that we found, we learned that the kid was needed as an ingredient for it. So we started lookin for clues into the guy who had written the letter. My little bro started tryin to get in good with the chicks at the Temple of Wee Jas, sayin that we had cleared out another temple, and that we had done them a big favor. Sis went back to work at the temple, an I just tried to enjoy bein at home with my girl, happy to be alive I started fixin up our new house. If only my life could be normal. Well, after a couple of weeks we still hadn't found any more info about the guy hunting the little kid who was now living with us, kinda an adopted pet, I dunno what else ta call a eunich other than a pet. But, anyways, one day I got home from runnin some errands, gettin some buildin tools, what not, an I couldn't find the kid anywhere. Did find a note though, sayin somethin about a keystone in the fireplace. Luckily, my little bro is pretty good with traps an figurin out how things work. So he gives the keystone a good twist an lo an behold the floor in the greatroom starts lowerin into a staircase below us. Talk about a surprise! A hidden basement below our house! Makin our way down into the basement we found a carving of some benevolent old man and the kid passed out in front of it. But, as we approached it, it spewed acid all over us, my flesh burnt off and I fell unconcious. As my younger sis and I lay there dyin the others woke us up, an explained it had just been an illusion! F*(kin magic!!!! I hate that stuff. Well, my older sis an younger brother seemed to walk straight through the wall! Well, I didn wanna follow, but as soon as I heard my sis scream, I charged through! As soon as I got through I saw her passed out from fear of a giant purple...... well worm thing towering over her. But, as soon as I got close to it I saw that it had dust collecting on it and was obviously just stuffed, thank the gods! Apparently, some alchemist had lived here before us and the bandits cuz there were alchemical supplies and potions everywhere in this room. My little bro wandered over to a covered painting and started giggling, then told us not to look at the painting cuz it was a trap of some kind. He gets excited over the weirdest things! At the other end of the room was a huge armoire covered in silver coin like talismans each with a different picture on it. At the top was a riddle, now I'm not the brightest in the world so I can't remember the riddle real well, but maybe one o my siblings can recite it for you so you can try an figure it out too. It only took about ten minutes before we had the answer and had found a giant stock of magic items!!!! Past the painting was a switch on the wall that revealed a secret door into a well. At the bottom of the well was the corpse of some dead thief. On him was the shield of the legendary Loris Roknian!! I mean what luck! The shield of my greatest childhood hero! It had been stolen a few years ago but had never been found. When I was a little boy Unc had taken me to the arena to see Loris fight, he had beaten four men in one fight!!! It is because of him that I have always dreamed of being the strongest, of standing triumphant in the arena! I can only hope that returning the shield will allow me to meet my hero! He now runs the arena, and maybe he can get me into the fights.... what a dream come true that would be, maybe I could finally get my family out of the filth they've been living in. Anyways, back to the story, the well opened into a giant cave that appeared to be a trash depository, just filled with junk and slop. At the far side was an iron gate. But, as we were walking towards it out of one of the giant piles of trash a huge Otyugh suddenly attacked us. Filthy thing, eats trash an sh*te, blech. Well, it grabbed my older sis in one of its tentacles, an then began squeezin her to death. Reacting as quickly as I could I grabbed it at the base of its tentacle an its leg and then flipped it onto the ground while my little sibs cut it to ribbons. It was a tough bastard but nothin compared to what we were about to run into. Inside of the iron gate we found a small thieves hideout that was filled with corpses, killed by who knows what. As we inspected the corpses six blade spiders popped out of them! This buggers were tough! The succeeded in taking down both of my sis's an almost got me too, but I was able to whoop em somethin fierce. Unfortunately we didn have the kid with us for his firepower cuz we still hadn been able to wake him up back in the house. So it was a bugger of a fight. I definitely wouldna made it through if my little bro hadn snuck me a potion in the middle o the fight. When we finished em off an healed up a bit we found that the back of the thieves hideout let out into the sewers, but was very well concealed, probably why noone had ever found the shield. Even with the blade spiders, the worst was yet to come. As we were making our way through the sewers to get back home, cuz the secret door was a one way switch, I noticed some weird tentacles in a hole in the wall. As I neared I grabbed the rubbery things and yanked it from the hole. It was some weird snake like thing that with four tentacles around beak. Revolting to say the least. The worst part was that its skin was so thick that I couldn't hurt it. I tried punching it, and stabbing it with spikes on my armor, nothing. My sis tried cutting it too. But still nothing. Then to make things worse another one came out of the wall further up the sewer, looked like they were waiting to ambush us. Now I was really worried cuz the ledge we were on was barely wide enough for one person so we could only fit on in a single file line. An that thing was gonna be able to attack me at will while I was hangin onto this one without us bein able to fight back. SO, though I hated ta hafta do it, I rolled off the ledge an into the much to my right. Suddenly I was standing in piss an sh*t up to chest, filth so disgusting I nearly fainted from the stench. But I knew if I went down my family was done for. Since I couldn hurt the d*mn thing I completely held it under the filth till it drowned! During this time, my younger sis figured out that she could hurt the other one with a magic sword we had found in the Barrow. Well, she was able to finish it off, but my older sis had decided that she wanted to try an be useful in combat. Why I dunno, but she suddenly jumped into the stream of crap with me. Unfortunately, i'm a big boy at 6'5 while she's not so big at 5'4. An' with her heavy armor she sunk like a rock. When she came up to the surface tryin to swim upstream she was pukin an sputterin at the same time. Havin kilt the other thing my sis an brother were able to manage to haul her outta the muck. When I had gotten the other one drowned we finally made our way outta the sewers, emerging in the pub underneath this very inn! After several weeks of recovery, here we are! Drinkin to our health, hopefully, we will soon find some info on the bastard searching for the kid, cuz I won't feel safe with that kid stayin with us until the people huntin him are dead. The kid is just too pretty, its unnatural I tell ya, eunichs are just creepy. So friend, how 'bout another round, this time I'll buy an you tell the tale?
Thought I would put up the riddle that was in the basement because I really like it. It took me a few minutes to figure it out, but for story purposes it was my younger brother that actually solved it in game. Feel free to post your guesses.
My house be not quiet, yet I am not loud
The gods hath fashioned our fates together
I am the swifter, oft times the stronger
My house more enduring, longer to last
At times I shall rest as my dwelling yet runs
Within it I lodge as long as I live
For if we be parted, my life shall soon end
hint: we had to hit two different coins, we were not given a list of pictures on the coins either.
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now explain to me why a barbarian would want to sit in a tavern and write in his journal, and furthemore, why is a barbarian writing?
you should have been a bard.
I happen to be this "kid" that the oaf talks about. he thinks i'm not responsible enough to use magic but i'm not out to impress this guy. if he were a bit more intelligent he would understand the usefulness of magic then he would understand, but it is even beyond my abilities to make a barbarian understand something. oh well. this is by far the strangest group of people that i have ever met, but they did rescue me from the men that were chasing me. Me and this bane person arent on the friendliest of terms either. the religous chick she a little to "hail peelor" for me. the sneaky man who cant seem to figure himself out is a little strange. but the older lady is definetly the most normal. strangly enough these people are being really nice to me.
and if the barbarian oaf say's anything about me being immature just remember, he's a barbarian even he doesnt know what he's talking about.
Shut up kid! You should just be happy that I even brought you to a tavern, and I have no idea what you're talking about with writing in a journal. I'm sure you have your diary that you write in every night "Oh, I'm so sad that I'm a eunich, maybe tomorrow I will destroy the world with my magic!" but real men like me don't need no stinkin writing. A beer, a strong arm, and a good woman is all any man needs.
Forgive the interuption my friends, but it's rough havin someone taggin along all the time. Anyways, where were we, about to get another drink? Barmaid! Another round, oh and a milk for the kid!
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... Oh, could I get a twistey straw with that...
I, mean uh... MILK!! What do you think I am, a child! I'm a halfling you dim witted barmaid! and dont give me the ol' "the barbarian told me you were a kid" speel. I swear, you couldn't tell a gold peice from a copper one. And YOU know nothing of magic you oaf, I'm surprised that the word is even in your vocabulary. and dont even start to talk about how YOU got me in here, i could fool these people even if i were asleep.
anyway... where are the others? have they left already? they were probably run off by your stench, thats what you deserve for rolling around in the sewer water.
speaking of sewer water... "Where's my MIL, er uh... ALE winch!"
Hahahahaha, that speech would have been a lot more convincing if your voice didn't keep cracking squirt. Why don't you try singing for us a bit pretty boy, then maybe at least you can provide some entertainment..... I might even give you something shiny for your trouble.....
much thanks to my big bro for eliminating my glory from the story. this is Sasha, the younger redheaded sister, and I am here to state that I was the one who took the life from Valtargo and the giant skeleton dude. Plus I saved Bane's ass from being humiliated by walking through the streets smelling worse than a loo, and got him (and my also just as stinking older sister, Daria) baths and the quality beer from my boss at the inn/pub. Not that I am ever much appreciated.
no matter that there is no drinking age limit, Van. I am going to tell Daria on you and Bane if I catch swimmin' in your cups.
Unappreciated! Hardly! You were the one who saved my a#$ on many occasions, none of us would be standing if it wasn't for you, and as for smellin like a loo, I recall bein forced to bathe, it was not by choice, or by request. Would you like me ta list the times you saved my butt. First, there was the time when the kid first showed up, an we was gettin beat to a pulp by the street thugs before ya got home from work an whooped em somethin fierce. Then, when we was raidin their hideout I got stabbed in the back, had a chandelier dropped on my head, an' fell through the floor while two little halflin b*%tches ran around stabbin us through the hangin cloths, at which point again you took at least one, if not both of them down. Then, there was all the skellies an zombo's you killed before we even made it to Embargo... I mean Veltargo... I didn't remember you finishin off the big skellie, but that don't surprise me at all. I tell ya what, I was just tryin to hold on for dear life to keep it from gettin to the rest of ya an didn't really see who killt it. Then, don't forget about the stupid Grick's in the sewers, you were the only person that could even hurt the stupid things, so I don't really think that your unappreciated, heck, I'd rather have you by my side than anybody else in the family, at least you can USE a weapon unlike big sis who flails around wildly with her mace, that is when she even graces us with fightin at all rather than runnin around gettin knocked out cuz she forgets to cast defensively..... Though, our little bro is pretty good at keepin us goin, an he's pretty good at throwin his daggers. Plus, findin all them traps has been really nice! I don't even know how I woulda survived some of them.... Heck, we'd be in really bad shape if without all of us workin together. I don't think there's a single person from our family that we couldn't have done without through this whole mess. Missin just one of any of us would have meant death for us all..... ugghhhh, I need another beer jus thinkin about all this, I may be swimmin after all, hope ya won't hold it against me though! Oh yeah, I eleminated everyones glory from the story cept for mine cuz we were all supposed to post what had happened to our characters.
Oh.... I sorta envisioned this as all of us sitting around a bar telling tales of our exploits, rather than doing just the normal journal thing, I thought that would be a fun variation, so chirp in with your favorite parts! And other people are welcome to come in and have a drink with us too!
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sing? I dont sing thank you very much.
why, you should feel honored to sit here in this establishment with me... but you wouldnt understand. and furthermore, you should cut down on your drinking, your starting to act all crazy like... any way what were we talking about?
uh...
well anyway, one more milk-ale for me...
a milk-ale? What's that? Like fermented milk? or more like a white russian? Hmmmm.... fermented milk probably wouldn't work out so well, might get a bit sour, but if you've found a way to do it..... we could make a fortune! an' why should I feel honored to be sittin with you? You're jus' another kid from the streets like us, or have ya done somethin special recently? I ain't heard any tales of your exploits yet!
Oh, yeah. and don't forget I was the one who made our big sis realize that killing things isn't entirely bad! I can't belive that she was so afraid to get smited or some such for taken down a zombie... if they aren't intelligent, or were resurrected or abominations they should be fair game! we'd be overrun if everything runnin' around was allowed to...
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tell you what i've done fine. i think i'll be keeping it down qutie a bit. I'm acually supposed to be keeping watch for some kind of monster while the others are sleeping.
I've done a great many things, however i dont remember much of my past. i do know that i've been living on the streets of greyhawk for some time now and these people however strange they may be, have aking me in. but i dont know what i've gotten myself into this time. this town is a little spooky to say the least and i cant wait until i can leave this place. any way... one night several weeks ago, i was beginning to go to sleep in the ally way in the slums, out of nowhere these men begin chasing me through the streets and trying to kidnap me or something. as I run by a house a group of people come out and confront these me and kill a few. I was shocked by the generosity of these strangers, and they seem a bit shocked with me. they ask me about my magic, saying that they've never seen a boy my age perform any sort of magic, but magic is the only thing that i've ever known, it just kinda comes naturall to me. this family takes me in for the night and begin to interigate one of the men that they captured. we found that the men were looking to kidnap me and to deliver a key to this guy named iron-tusk, well to make a long story short we found iron-tusk, he put up a fight, we killed him and he didnt have this key. we found the owner of the key and he agreed to payus handsomly if we were to bring it back. we did find a note on iron-tusk about delivering me and the key to a man named veltargo or embargo or something like that at an old house right here in the river quarter. we found this guy in said house but he had protection in the form of two halflings and a woman fighter. the was a lot of fighting and a lot of spi... spide... spiders... ungh.. i hate spiders... any way the man himself was no pushover. he weilded magic better than i have ever seen. but we killed him finnaly. he left a wand that i was in love with, and a ledger explaining that the key had already traded hands to veltargo himself. we sort of set up camp, well we took the house for our own and pretty much had a bit of a celebration from all the money ad possesions we had gained. this whole time I'm feeling a bit more attached to this family, but i should get my hopes up, i dont want to be dissapointed.
a few days later and we learn of an attack on the temple of Baccob, they made me stay home but when they got back they told me that we were heading off. out of the city. we were going to this wierd place in the cairn hills. we eventually found this temple or shrine or whatever it was, something that has to do with wee jas... i never want to go back to that place ever again. there was blood everywhere and zombies and skeletens there too. at the end of this freaky temple we finnaly found veltargo but we had to go through an evil cleric, a horde of zombies and undead, and veltargo's giant bone minator thing, that was not fun. veltargo knocked me unconsious part way through the fight but i guess the rest of the people got him good. we found this key we had been looking for but it seemed to had lost any of its previous power. we also found a wierd book and another note to and even higher up man on the bad guy food chain i guess. his name was adimarchus and he wanted me for some reason. i wonder what this is all about. i'm not imortant. i dont think... any way they made me stay home again when they went to settle all of the deals and quests that they took on. but i got a little bored so i went snooping around the house. i fund some wierd door that went to a really scary thing that is justa big blurr to me, but i do remember getting sprayed with acid and dieing. they told me it was all just some trick but it seemd so real. i dint get to go down in the hole but apparently there was a lot of valuable items in the secret hole. i did get a brand new pair of boots though, they let me float, it's really cool.
any way after bane left the hole, i think he found some kind of sheild or something that belongs to one of his idols or something. well any way, he got to go to a party with this guy and he met an information guy there wo wanted to meet us later. the next night we all went to some warehouse and me this guy. instantly recognized him as the man who always gave me some copper or candy sometimes, he was a really nice man. any way... he wanted us to go and get some cloak for him so that Iuz wouldnt get a hold of it, he agreed to pay us with information... whatever kind we wanted in return. so we supplied up and set off for blackwall the next day. after severall days of travel we finnally arrived at this black wall town and here i am. keepng watch for a monster. the mayor of the town agreed to pay us very well if we could dispose of the beast for him so we are taking a bit of a break from traveling to cold-stone keep for now, so we can make a bit of cash on the way.
oh well... my shift's almost done so i'm ready to sleep some more.
but you know, whatever...
i want to go on the next BIG adventure.... this kitchen is hot we need A/C
-steve
Just you wait.. ill get in the action weather you want me to or not. (crosses his arms and stops off... to the kitchen)
I am still shaking. I had a sense of impending doom when we came to that town and heard about the beast... but, hey, Sasha Daern is not a thinker, she's a fighter! So I troop along and help deliver the body to the grove to complete the druidic rite/ sacrifice thing. All is well in eden... until a stupid monster pops out of this window in the sky.
All I remember is this slimy thing with tentacles on it's back and a worm-like mouth with teeth jumping into the grove. Bane was the only one standing in the sacrificial circle and so he immeadiately grappled it. We all rushed in to attack it, but nothing seemed to be doing much damage... my scimitars, the magic missiles, fire balls... it seemed like we tried everything and finally we realized once Karn pulled out a cold iron dagger that cold iron was about the only thing it was not immune to. By that time Bane had been hit pretty badly and the creature bit him in the chest and you could see most of his insides.
I kept on attacking, not wanting to acknowledge that Bane might be dead. Van used his Mage Hand to get the dagger from Karn to me. As tired as I was I only got in a few stabs. I just felt desperate. Frantic. I was trying hard not to think. If Bane was dead, how no one else could defend themselves, how those villagers wouldn't lift a finger for us even though we were trying to help...
He bit me good a few times, and got a few good swipes in too. The last thing I remember was the slow throb in my chest, and blood gushing. It was like I could feel the life leaving me while everything faded.
Then I woke up. Things got louder as if there was no one there and more and more noise started up. I felt like you do when you take a nap and wake up not knowing what day or time it is. My mind was kind of blank. I tried to sit up and Karn was leaning over me, looking very worried. I think that Van was there too, but he was next to a dwarf that looked very familiar. I didn't know why though.
Now I do. Bane and Daria and I all died at the hand of that creature. Van says that Karn took some pretty bad blows, but he got a potion in him before he died too. Van is pretty quick to brag that he was the one that did the creature in, but I can tell that he's pretty shaken after having seen the rest of us die.
That druid that we stayed with reincarnated us all. I guess he kinda felt a bond with us all and thought that we deserved a second chance. I should be mighty grateful, as Daria keeps reminding me- and I am!- but I am really tired and sad, too. Daria happened to be that dwarf I said seemed familiar. I would never tell her, cuz she is trying to be brave and mature, but I am sad that she isn't pretty and elegant like she used to be.
I feel kinda guilty because I came back as an elf. I'm shorter and prettier than I was before, which makes me kinda happy, but still a little guilty feeling. I had gotten used to being the tough one.
And Bane. He is a trogolyte. I never saw one before and when I got a look at him the first time I grabbed for the hilt of my scimitar! He's scaly and got claws, but still has that attitude he always did. I think right now he is really worried about how his girlfriend is gonna take it, but I think Sophie is tough enough to handle it. Or at least not run away screamin the first time she sees him! But when it comes to sleepin I am not so sure she'll want him in her bed. hehe. I can't help laughin a little at that. He has always thought he's quite the stud.
Anyway, this is all gonna take some getting used to. Daria is sure that we can get some wishes or miracles to be changed back, but that might take awhile. Daria was always the optimistic one. I have a feelin that things can never be changed back to how they were though. Even if we get our old bodies back.
D#$N IT!!! F*&king piece of m$%$#r f$%&*#g s#$t, stupid a#$ h#$e Spirit of the Wild an' his m#$%#r f$&#(%g d#$n s#$tty a#$ piece of f#$*%#g wh*$e a$% ba#$@rd f*$%&*g F*#K!!!!! F#$*#&g fa#$%t f&*#er f$%&ed us in the f$%&ing a#@!!!! What the f#$k!!!!? AWWWW!!! What the F#$K is that smell!!!! F$%K, it's me!!! F$%&ING F$%K F%$&ITY F#$K F#$K F%&*ERIN F#$K F#$K F#$K!!! Great, now any time I get angry I smell like a kobolds a#$!!! F#$K ME RUNNING!!!! What's that you said?! Watch my language! F#$k You TOO!!! You're not a F#$*ing troglodyte!! F#$*ING MAGIC!!! THIS IS WHY I'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT MAGIC IS TOO POWERFUL FOR ANY MORTAL TO WEILD YOU F#$&ERS!! F#$K F%&*ERIN F#$K F#$K F#$K F$%&ING F$%K F%$&ITY F#$K F#$K!!!
Ughhhh, deep breath's Bane, calm down! F#$K! Whew! Alright, well I guess I should start at the f#$%ing beginning. Like I had been sayin' before, I had found a shield that had been belongin ta Loris Rocknian in our basement, well when we made it out of the sewers I had sent a letter to him to let him know that I had found it. He quickly invited me to a party that he was throwing at his estate so that I could return it to him then, which was AWESOME!!! I was going to get to meet my childhood hero! So on the night of the party my older sis Daria gave me some nice clothes that she bought and insisted that I not wear my armor. I didn like that idea much 'tall since I had been instructed ta come alone, but she know more about these kinda things so I went all dressed, though ah felt a bit nekked without me protection an all. Well, Rocknian's estate's by tha arena, an a persons gotta pass through tha arena ta get into his party. The guards at the arena weren't trutstin me much, can't say I blame 'em though, I mean if someone just showed up outta nowhere sayin' they had found a shield that had been stolen 4 years ago, I wouldna trusted 'em much mahself. Anyways, since I had the invitation from Rocknian I was allowed in. Now, let me tell ya, at night the arena is nothin like it is durin the day. All empty an' creepy, still, it's one helluva impressive place, an since I hadn been there since I was a boy it seemed even bigger than I remembered.
As I was passin through the arena, I saw a light off to one side an heard the sound of voices. Curious I headed in that direction. It ended up bein the party an' I was admitted though not without a few scornful looks. Even with the fine clothes my sis had given me I was still outta place here. Well, I tried listenin into a few conversations, but they were all about politics or the war, an' were just stuck up a#$ h#$es talkin about a buncha stuff they didn' know a thing about. I did notice a halflin' in the crowd who obviously could take care o' himself real well, an' that's sayin somethin when there were a few o' the gladiators amongst tha crowd, but he didn' seem to fear any of 'em, or me for tha' matter. He seemed very familiar too, like I had seen 'em before. After a bit the mos' beautiful woman I ever saw walked into tha room, an' took her place right beside me, I was placed at the second chair on the right closest to tha head o' tha table an' she was at the first, so I knew she must be someone important. Later, I would find out she was Rocknian's woman.... It's d#$n good to be the best apparently. Before we sat though, a big blonde man entered, huge guy, even bigger than me! Well, he turned out to be the current arena champ, an had a pretty blonde girl with him, as well as some other little shifty guy... a Seeker or somethin like that, a lot o people call them graverobbers... but I dunno whether that's true, he did seem a little off to me though. The champ sat directly across from me, an I found out he's won two years in a row. So he's gotten pretty full of himself... I'd love to knock him down a couple pegs, but since I was at Rocknians I decided it would be best if I minded me p's an' q's so I tried to be as respectful as I could, even though I know I could turn him into a pretzel faster than 'e could blink.
After about a half hour I was sorely wishin I was drinkin' with the personal guards tha' I had seen in a side room I had passed on my way in. Guess, a few of the people at tha party were important enough ta have their own guards, or didn trust Rocknians... Anyways, about tha time I was dreamin of gettin away from tha stuffed shirts, the man himself entered. Though he was a shorter an' a bit smaller than me, he was still a mountain of a man, an' bore a presence ten times his size. He's about tha last person in tha world I would ever want angry at me. Whew, the weight of his presence was such tha it was terribly hard even ta stand, let alone speak. An aura of blood surrounded him, though it wasn malicious, it was simply overwhelming from all tha fights he had been in. He beckoned us to sit an' dine, an' I for one was glad to get off my feet before my legs gave out. A little way into tha dinner he introduced me, an asked for tha shield, which I happily returned. Then he did somethin I had never expected, an asked what reward I wanted in return. It was all I could do just to get my mouth to move to form a reply. My reply felt like a whisper under his stare, even though I knew my voice was clear an' loud as ever. So all I could do was say tha I didn want anythin, I mean I got ta meet my hero, a man I had looked up ta my whole life. Tha was all I wanted, an that was enough, an tha's what I had told him. Then he gave a bark of a laugh, somethin I hadn expected, a strange kindness in it an' his eyes, he seemed more like a man then, than he ever had before, an suddenly I felt much weaker than I had before as he waved to a servant who brought out a tray with a belt an' a pair of bracers on 'em, an he said they were mine! An, though I insisted I didn' need anythin, he was so intent on me takin' 'em tha I couldn say no. They were well used, but they are somethin tha will be invaluable, an' I will treasure them always! I wasn' sure how he knew so much about, me, even down ta how I fight with no weapons, but tha' would change later.
After I let me heart slow its pitter patter a bit, an we had all resumed our meal, after a round of applause from everyone at tha table in mah honor I had a brief conversation with tha man to my right. Turned out tha halfling tha' I had noticed earlier was 'im. He was obviously where Rocknian had been gettin his info 'bout me, an mah family. Knew just 'bout everythin' this haflin, well he said he had a job for me an' me family. Would tell us anythin' we wanted ta know if we did it for 'im. Well, I wasn' 'bout ta get my family in trouble without talkin to them first, so we set up a meetin in a old warehouse near our new home ta meet the followin night an discuss everythin. After, tha the party's kinda a blur, I said my farewells an went home ta me girl an mah family. Content, an' happier than I been in a long time.
Unfortunatley, tha happiness wasn' ta last long....
So my family an' I decided tha it would be best ta take this job, cuz the guy could give us more info on tha people chasin' tha kid we had taken in. He told us we could ask 'im any three questions we'd like if we did tha job, an we could keep any treasure we found other than tha item 'e was wantin us ta retrieve. He was worried 'bout a cloak tha' some demon or devil prince or king or somethin' had given ta his lover. Apparently she had given it away after their fallin out, an' now it's sittin in a ruined keep at cold-stone keep near blackwall or somethin like tha, I'm no good at names o' people or places, so ma family can correct me ifn I'm wrong. Well, we was a bit wary o' tha thought of havin ta face tha demon or devil or whatever, but after bein assured tha he wouldn be a threat on this journey, we decided ta accept 'is proposal. Thus, we gathered our things an' made ready to leave Greyhawk.
Tha first couple days o' travel were pretty quiet, we got to stay at inns both o' tha first nights which was fun. Though, tha first inn was way expensive, an' tha room wasn' tha great, but a bed was nice after such a long days travel. Tha second inn was much better. We could smell tha food from a mile away as we crested a big hill. It was a homely lil cottage tha' was owned by an elderly couple. They was really nice, too nice it seemed at first, but after a bit I decided I could trust 'em. Tha price ta stay was so much less than tha last place it almost seemed like we was stealin from 'em, so we decided on our way back we would stop an' help 'em fix up tha place a bit. Anyways, they had a huge banquet ready, jus' incase any travelers should happen ta stop by, food like ya couldn' imagine, an tha old mans wife had tha voice of an' angel. If I had a choice, I would live their for tha resta mah days, heavenly place tha inn. Maybe, tha mos' peaceful place a person could find! Well, our younger sis was havin a bit o' trouble keepin up with us on tha first two day on foot cuz of her armor, so we decided it would be best ta rent a horse, which tha old man had. He gave us a great price too, as long as we bring it back.
So we set out tha next mornin rested, an in high spirits. 'Bout mid-afternoon we came across a tower ta tha side o' tha road. Mah, little bro an' tha kid wanted ta check it out since they saw somethin' shiny, but then we wouldna been able ta make it ta the next town by night an' we decided ta keep goin. Further, I remember well tha las' time I checked out somethin shiny, all I found was a knife in tha back, so I think it was best tha we let it be. When we got ta tha town it was gettin dark an' all tha winda's were boarded up, with not a single person in sight. As we made it ta tha inn we were ushered inside real quick like, but not wantin ta leave tha horse outside me an tha kid decided ta take a bit ta stable it an get it some hay. We was told ta be quick about it, but I didn' really see why everyone was so afraid so I didn' pick up tha pace a whole lot, wantin ta make sure tha old man's horse was well takin care of. As we got back ta tha inn tha sheriff an' his deputy was walkin' up an ushered us inside quickly.
Once inside, we found a man cryin' inta 'is beer an between 'im, the sherrif, an the innkeeper we was able ta find out tha towns story. Apparently, a few days before we 'ad arrived tha man cryin in 'is drink had decided ta go adventurin with 'is best friend, tha mayors son. Well, they hadn' gotten very far before they had come upon some strange grove in tha forest with an altar in a ring a stones where they had been attacked by some foul beastie. Tha mayors son had been killed, an tha man before us had dragged 'is body back inta town, barely escapin death 'imself. Well, a couple days later, a married couple 'ad been attacked an kilt by tha same beastie, cuz it had apparently followed tha lad back ta town. An' now, everyone 'ad ta stay inside at night when it would come inta town. Well, tha mayor, bein in the inn also, offered us a reward ta rid tha town o' tha menace. Bein a bit strapped for cash after stayin at tha inns the other nights we agreed. So, we set out ta investigate tha town a bit.
Its a small village with only two streets, so there wasn' much to look through. We found a bunch o' tracks around where the married couple had been attacked, an we followed 'em for a bit. They lead straight inta town an then circled tha temple round an round without ever enterin. Well, this seemed a bit strange so we decided ta talk ta tha cleric, who lived in a small shack ta tha side o' tha temple. Tsk, what a b@#$#rd, tha temple followed St. Cuthbert, an' he was all on about how tha village was bein taught a lesson, tha' they didn' believe in their strength or Cuthberts enough. F$%#$r was more concerned about them bein punished for their lack of faith than for 'is own congregations well being. What an a$#h$#e, well, I told 'em I would show 'im what strength really meant, an stalked off while me family kept talkin to 'im a bit. They said 'e was bein 'onest, an all, but I still didn trust 'im. Well, we decided it would be best ta get a good nights sleep before goin' inta tha woods tha next day ta look for tha creature with a map tha tha drunk at tha bar had drawn us.
We decided it would be best ta set up a watch an then confront tha monster. My older sis went first cuz she needed a full night's rest for her spells. The second watch was given ta my lil' sis, an tha's where the troubles began. She suddenly ran up tha stairs ta where I was sleepin, an woke me up sayin somethin 'bout some weird dog runnin around tha temple which was visible from tha inn. Said it didn have no hair an was covered in tattoos, but tha' its neck came out o' tha middle o' it's body an tha' it didn have any eyes. This had ta be what was attackin' tha people so we geared up an headed out ta face it. Creepy thing, spit some gooey stuff at me as we approached it, piece of s*$t as if I haven't been covered in enough stuff in my life. Well, tha stuff made it a bit hard ta move, so I got real angry an' ripped it off while I activated tha belt I had been given. Great thing tha' belt, as I suddenly doubled in size. I charged tha d#$n thing an got a good grab of it from behind so tha' it couldn' spit tha crap at me again. 'Course tha did no good as it's head turned 180 degrees an' spit some acid at me, burned like h#$l too. Well, after tha' I had it on tha ground an pinned so tha' it couldn' open it's mouth ta spit anythin else at me. After a few good shots from mah family, it suddenly turned ta jelly an then mist an flew away inta tha woods. D@#$dest thing I ever saw, an a bunch o' bull s#$t if ya ask me. We looked around town for a bit but couldn' find tha beastie for anythin. However, we did decide it would be best ta look at tha dead bodies, an I forced our way inta tha crypt next ta tha temple. A heavy stone door was closing it off, but after a bit o' tryin we was able ta open it. My lil' bro had found some strange runes on tha outside tha 'e was lookin at. Found 'em inside too. We also saw lotsa bones inside, some so old they turned ta dust at our touch. Others were charred an burnt. Big sis said that tha this meant tha this place hadn' always been a temple ta Cuthbert. Tha the burnt ones were tha ones tha Cuthbert's followers had cremated, an tha others were from before. The three bodies were there on pedastals too. Apparently it was the custom ta wait 7 days before cremation. My lil bro's real good at findin stuff I'd never see, an he saw tha underneath all o' tha dust were some paintin's on tha walls. After we cleaned them all off, we found tha they were murals showin some old druidic ritual. Tha first showed tha druids with a sacrifice on an altar, but tha sacrifice looked happy an willin', tha second showed a big portal openin above tha altar, an tha third showed tha druids happy with a big harvest. In all o' tha paintin's tha dog we had fought was lookin on content, an happy. Well, we closed tha crypt back up an got back inside tha inn, an figurin tha it wouldn be back we went ta bed, though we kept our watch schedule jus' incase. Tha innkeeper had said tha we were welcome ta have a few drinks on tha house durin our watches. Well, I ain't one ta turn down free liquor, an since noone else wanted ta drink, I drank theirs too.
A bit under the weather, I woke up about noon tha next day ta find tha the idjits my lil bro an tha kid had gone around town tellin everyone tha tha beastie had been kilt. Well, Daria was tryin ta minimize tha damage, but wasn bein too succesful an all tha villagers jus ended up confused. We decided tha best thing ta do was ta go an' check out tha circle so we headed out with tha map from tha drunk. We found it without any trouble, an were a bit surprised when we did. There was blood all around tha grove, but not inside tha circle of stones, as if tha creature had been protecting it's home. There was more o' tha same writin tha my lil bro had found at tha crypt all over tha altar an' stones. But, none of us could read it. Big sis, said tha she thought tha the creature had tried ta defend tha circle when tha two fledglin adventurers had stumbled into it. Then after it had kilt one it was tryin ta recover tha body to complete tha ceremony tha had been started, jus' like tha druids used ta do a long time ago. We thought it would be best ta head back ta town an talk ta everyone again, let 'em know what had 'appened an see if we could take tha body ta finish tha ritual.
Things didn go so well once we got back inta town. Tha drunk confirmed tha they had been attacked by tha creature by enterin tha grove, but tha only place we could find tha mayor was at tha temples daily mass. Well, we waited for tha service ta end an then big sis addressed tha crowd. She told them all we had found out, but somehow this made tha cleric angry, tha d#$n fool. He thought it would be better if his people just kept on dyin rather than finishin a druidic ritual. Well, this pissed me off ta no end, an I couldn just let it slide this time. A big argument between me an 'im erupted, an ta make things worse tha mayor who 'ad lost is son was ready ta lose tha rest o' 'is village to, rather than finishin a druidic ceremony. Well, eventually, I jus' gave up, an stormed out again. I walked ta tha crypt an' yanked open tha stone door, even though it probably woulda takin three or four o' tha villagers ta do tha same. I'll be d&*ned if I'm gonna let tha rest o' tha village die jus' because a one fool cleric an' mayor! As I was about ta grab tha body my sis stopped me an said tha' we shouldn' do it at tha' time cuz we might end up hurtin' an even killin' some o' tha villagers if they tried ta stop us from takin' it. Well, I didn' want ta hurt tha people I was tryin ta save, so she finally calmed me down a bit, an since tha sheriff had shown up ta try an calm down tha crowd my sis went an talked ta him. Well, she worked out a deal with 'im tha we could come back an' get tha body later tha' night an' sneak it outta town. Smart man tha' sheriff, tha kinda man I can respect, more worried about tha people o' his town than how they are protected. Seein this as our best option ta save tha people we figured tha we wouldn' get tha reward, but tha at least they would be safe.
So, we snuck back in once we saw it was clear an grabbed tha body, then proceeded ta tha stone circle again. Well, I had mah family wait outside tha circle jus' ta be safe, I still didn' trust this ritual, 'specially with tha' portal in tha paintin. Well, as soon as I put tha body on tha altar, a bright purple light glowed outta tha body arcing between tha stones an a point directly above mah head, where a glowing purple sphere started ta open showin a lush tropical world. As it did a huge shockwave was released outta it an knocked me ta tha ground. I felt healthier from it, an all the plants around started growin real fast. But then, as soon as tha' happened another beastie started ta crawl outta tha portal. This one was even creepier than tha tattooed dog tha had been layin beside tha altar while the ceremony was finished. It had a big round mouth with several rows of jagged teeth, an weird quill like hair. Ta make things look worse, it looked real REAl f$%$ng hungry. Well, as soon as I tried ta stand up, it tried ta take a bite outta me. So I hit tha belt real fast ta get big, an then I got real angry too. I hit tha bracers which made it a lot easier ta hold onta him, an grabbed it real quick, jumpin on its back. It was the weirdest feelin ever as it seemed ta morph an flow in my hands an it was real hard ta hold onto. Then, it got real bad real fast as tentacles erupted from 'is back, makin holdin 'im even worse. Luckily my big sis cast a spell an ah got a bit stronger. Hittin' tha bracers a couple more times I was able ta pin tha f#$%er for a bit while my family whacked away at it. Ah even got in a shot or two myself. Tha problem was tha even with all tha equipment an my sis' spell it was still a little better at wrestlin' than me, plus it was quicker two, gettin' ta act twice fer everytime I was goin. Eventually, it shook me off of it, an I could only use mah bracers three times. Well, once it got me off, its claws an' its bite were real nasty. I tried ta get it outsida tha ring a stones in case tha hope tha' it would be weaker there. But, I was gettin tired as I put everythin ah had inta keepin it away from mah family. Tha worst part was tha they were havin a real hard time hurtin it. Then, tha worst thing tha' could happen did. I was inbetween my two younger siblings an couldn' dodge real well, plus havin takin a few good shots already I was feelin real sluggish. It took a big bite outta my chest an all I remember seein was its claws tearin through mah stomach as it tore out all mah innards.... an then everythin went black...
When I woke up everythin was as mah sister described an now I'm an f#$#ing troglodyte. F#$K F%&*ERIN F#$K F#$K F#$K F$%&ING F$%K F%$&ITY F#$K F#$K!!! No way mah girlfriend sticks around now, not tha I can blame her, I wouldn' want ta be with some stank a#* lizard. F*&king piece of m$%$#r f$%&*#g s#$t, stupid a#$ h#$e Spirit of the Wild an' his m#$%#r f$&#(%g d#$n s#$tty a#$ piece of f#$*%#g wh*$e a$% ba#$@rd f*$%&*g F*#K!!!!! I swear I might get it resurrected some day just ta kill tha F#$*ING B@#$%D again! F$%&ING F$%K F%$&ITY F#$K F#$K F%&*ERIN F#$K F#$K F#$K!!! I F#$%ING HATE MAGIC!!!!!!!!
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Will you keep it down over there!? oh well. i think that bane is still adjusting to life as a lizard.
it all started when we came across this town that was being terrorized by some kind of monster. Us being adventurers decided to slay this beast and collect our due reward. all we knew about it was that it had killed a couple and another man who saw the beast first hand with his friend who survived but was in such mental shock, he couldnt even tell us anything about it... all he did was cry and get drunk. we were allowed to camp out in the inn so we could catch this monster. it hadent started attacking until the two adventurers came back one dragging the body of the other, the first who was killed. I thought the beast was some sort of wolfman and the man who had supposedly died was the werewolf. the story seemed to hold water because the body of the "dead" man was in the church mosoleum, where the tracks of the beast were focused around. the church officials thought that this was some kind of punnishment for taking St. Cuthbert's powers for granted, but i think that they are all just ignorent commoners.
we went into the mosoleum to see this "dead" guy for ourselves and the next thing you know, a big snake headed dog thing comes from out of no where and attacks us. well, we found the beast. we engage the monster and during the fight bane gives it a mighty blow and the beast explodes into a cloud of vapor. i thought we had killed it, or scared it away enough to collect our reward and leave, but daria had to solve this "mysery" for her self so we all just kind of followed allong.
we acually get into the mosoleum and only to fine the body of the dead adventurer, and he's really dead, no iff's and's or but's about it. but more importantly we found out that this place wasnt always a church to St. Cuthbert. it was a druidic shrine. none of us could read the markings on the wall, not even with the help of magic, but we did find a mural depicting an ancient druidic sacrificial rite/cerimony. the mural shows the rite taking place in some sort of grove/altar place, coincidentally the same place the first person died and was attacked by the beast. speaking of which was in the picture but it seemed more docile and calm. the murals showed a person being sacrificed on the altar and a portal to an eden type place opening up, also the vegitation in the area was springing to life everyewhere. we had figured that the beast had killed it's first victim on this altar and by doing that, had inadvertantly started the ancient cerimony. we decided... or Daria decided to tell the towns people about this whole druidic thing, but i thought it was a bad idea from the start, we should of just stole the body and completed the ritual and got our reward. well that didn't happen. as soon as the towns folk knew about our trying to complete an ancient pagan ritual with the mayor's son's dead body... we were shot down to say the least andwe had to sneak back into town to steal the body that night after we had been kicked out of town.
we took the body to the shrine. all the while the beast was following us but not attacking, like it knew what we were doing. we had bane take the body up onto the altar alone, not knoeing what would happen, i wanted us all to go, i mean... why did the druids in the picture look so happy in the circle, i wanted to be happy too. anyway, bane places the body on the alter and some wierd light begins to glow and then explode! knocking a couple off us down. before i could get back up to see what had happend another huge monster jumps out of a portal that had just appeared. it must have been hungry because as soon as bane started to get up, it attacked him. band reaponded with his usual tactic of just grabbing it and hoping for the best. after i sttod up myself, the battle had already started, so i got my self a safe distance away... straight up into the air, thanks to these levitating boots that we got. everyone was fighting and i was shooting line of lightning abd doing some considerable damage myself. when i turned to my magic missile, I noticed what everybody else was noticing... we werent hurting it very much, or at all. the fighting was getting intense when the beast takes a swipe at Daria and she falls lifeless to the ground. next to go was bane after his vallient struggle with the beast. his entrails all over the place. I was just about to give up hope after taking a claw myself, when we all noticed that Karn's cold iron dagger seemed to give the beast considerably pain. Karn however lacking the strength to hurt the beast much let me mage hand the dagger into Sasha's capable hands, but not before Karn himself takes a blow to the torso and falls to the ground. i float into the air after that to stay away from that horrid beast, only to look down and see Sasha fight the monster and fall after only a few swings of the dagger that seemed to be our only hope. the beast positioned itself underneath me waiting for me to fall down into it's toothy maw. i mage hand the dagger into my hands knowing it's our only hope, and throw it... only to miss. i mage hand the the dagger once more into my hand and thow it again. only to miss again. I then use my last bit of magical strength to bring the dagger into my hands and knowing that i cant bring the dagger to my hands again if i miss... and throw it. it was all like slow motion as the dagger spun towards the beast. the blade hits the beast, cutting deep into its hide and the monster slumps over. however i didnt feel good about this fight. everyone i knew as my friends, even the oaf... was dead.
to my surprise i see karn's lifless body twitched and his chest rose a small amount. i immediatly took the potion out of his hand and poured it down his throat. I repeated until he was awake and then explained everything. after a few minutes... a man steps out of a tree, and he's the nice tavern owner man from before this whole mess. he explains to Karn and me about how we have completed this terrific druidic rite and wishes to repay us. Karn askes about bringing his family back but the best the druid could do is to reincarnate them, and there's no telling what thier new bodies will be like... and it will also take nearly THREE HOURS!! but its done now i think... theres Sasha. Wow she doesnt look much different, exept for the ears, and she does look a bit more frail. oh well... it's not as bad a bane or Daria. bane is some sort of troglodyte and Daria's a dwarf, we had better take away her mirror before she finds out what happened. But I'm still me and thats all thats important. right bane, you cute little stinky lizard you...
Cute eh?! Come here ya lil' brat!
*grabs Van and puts him in a headlock smothering the young boys face in his stinky lizard pits*
How does that smell huh? How 'bout when I get angry, then its really bad isn't it!!!! CUTE MY F*$%ING A#%!!!!!
sounds like you kids need a taest of good luck -says a soft voice from the marsh-
"Dowhb?" says the good looking bard as he adjusts the clothes peg he has pinned over his nose.
"Hob ad do all gonna get back to da way tings web before?"
Clearly he`s doing his best to ununciate, but the clthtes peg over his nose is really making communication awkward. He smiles gratefully as a young lass runsback the taproom frm the rooms upstairs, carrying a bag full or writing implements, ink and a big leather-bound notebook. He lifts a small vial from the bag, unplugs his nose, and inhales deeply.
"Ah" he says with a deep sense of satisfaction, "can't smell a damned thing! Sorry Bane and company, what I was trying to ask is: "What are you plans with regards to resuming your normal forms."
As a whispered aside: "that means getting back to normal Bane old boy." he says this with a friendly nudge of the elbow.
He dips his pen in soe ink and settles down before a thick piece of parchment. "Right, what did you guys say your group called itself again? And please, speak more slowly. I`m gonna have a hard time getting all this down!"
<Well you did say other folks could join in the talk at the inn :D>
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Justin is hanDofthEwrAiTH.
He's been on me to write up his character's death on the killer DM board since it happened two weeks ago. He has since been reincarnated as a troglodyte.
I have been trying to set aside a good block of time in order to write it up the way a valliant warrior such as Bane deserves. Unfortunately, if I take the time to do it today, I won't be ready to run the game tonight.
Back to normal?! Pipe dreams an' lolipops! As if we could ever afford such a thing, my sis' is a bit too optimistic, an as far as plannin, ain't nobody in mah family who seems to give a rats a#@ 'bout that! I figure the best way to go about it is that I heard o' a spell called alter self, if I could jus' get me hands on a ring o' that then I could at least be normal most o' the time! Wishes an' miracles sound all nice an neat for the rest o' me family, but they be so rare tha' I know better, might as well be wishin' for mah sis to be Queen o Greyhawk an me lil bro to suddenly be crowned Arena Champion. Nah, I know better, an them types a magic be way too powerful anyway. I'd rather make sure this kinda thing don't happen ta anyone else by gettin rid o' magic from tha world all together, course tha's even less likely than tha miracle mah sis keeps prayin for, so fer now I think I'm jus' stuck. Luckily, I got a little more used ta this body over tha last day or two, not sayin I like it in anyway, but at least I can have some fun with tha kid by lettin loose some stink every once in awhile!! So funny ta watch him suddenly retch up 'is breakfast!
<sorry been real busy with 4th stuff, I'll put up what we did last week and this weeks tomorrow>
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magic is a good thing and it will bring you back to the way you were before, wether you like it or not, because I haven't completely eaten and digested my breakfast in days now. we are going to change you back for my stomach's sake. also, one more thing, i think... the other night when we were at diamond lake. i think I went to a freak show/ whore house, i feel so dirty... any way thats behind me now.
And did you say, a name for our group... I didnt know we were a group now. but i wouldn't go asing Bane about a name for our group... he's not really the brightest paint on the wall if you know what i mean. I don't know, I'll ponder on it for a while.
sometimes I hate this site, type for two hours, post.... and nothing.... I may post later.... but it will be awhile after this latest loss.....
Sitting alone in the dark Lucian looks out to the mistymarsh then back at the odd group of family and friends gathered in deep sleep that so willing put faith into Lucians abuility to guid and protect them. He sighs for a moment as the ugly lizard named Bane rolls over on the little one... What was his name? he grins. whatever his name was he is lucky he didnt get swallowed by quick sand! AND WHATS THIS! THAT KARN KID IS PEEING ON A STATUE OF PELOR IN HIS SLEEP! Another odd thing is the Elf girl. most Elfs ive seen meditate have there head up... hers is bent backwords and shes drewling... Lucian laughed to hims self quietly. Karn finaly laid down and closed his eyes Lucian walked over and pulled the blanket up to his chest. as he did Karn swung a fist out to him.
"Push off Van... im not letting sleep in my bed roll." Van! that was the other ones name.he laid smuthered under the lizard. looking at them slumber reminded Lucian of his family. another deep sigh arrose from him and again Lucian to his post by the window of the watch tower like he had time and time again looking out to the marsh. as if he was looking for someone...
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Of course we rolled randomly to determine what they came back as!! And yes, as of the current session, Bane is still a stinky troglodyte. Truth be told, however, it has actually helped him more than hindered him.
I still laugh maniacally from time to time about the animated crossbow / bag of holding thing. However, as you might remember, I had no idea it was gonna go down like that.
You should just move up here. That would simplify stuff so much.
And you need to create a profile.
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Never in my life have I felt such an urge to laugh and check vital signs as I have just now. man... i love this keep. You'll know what i mean when you see a large lizard man fall through the floor into the floor below... then fall trough that floor into the floor below that... and then watch a very heavy looking brass bathtub fall on him after that. i think that just made my day. ::van yells:: "how are ya feeling down there stinky!". whew, i don't think my day could get any better, it certanly couldn't get any worse. after we left the keep at black wall, we entered the mistmarsh, which by the way is one of the most horrible places i've ever been to (though lucien doesn't seem to mind it that bad) after we entered the marsh we we almost attacked by some kinda ten headed something in the middle of the night... it might have been attracted to our fire or something. next we're on our way to some temple of pelor tower or something and before we can get to the door we're attacked by all these lizard men who look just like bane. i had a hard time telling them apart... in fact i think i might have shot him once. the temple/tower was a good kind of break. oh yeah and lets not forget me getting almost drowned in quick sand, that wasnt fun at all... i have sand in places you cant immagine. another day of travel and we're at this keep we've been looking for, for so long. oh yeah and did i neglect to mention that this keep has almost sunk into the marsh.
but you know... whatever.
OK, well before I put in my next post, which will be insanely long since it covers three sessions (sorry for the delay) I'd just like to say that although being a troglodyte has helped me in combat a bit, it has killed the RP, since I spent half a session sitting in a stone room doing nothing in a keep full of soldiers that hunt lizardmen, it has completely changed my character, and I will most likely lose my girlfriend in game, who was intended to be my cohort for leadership. All in all, I would much rather be a little less combat effective than to be a lizard who may not even be able to get back into greyhawk. I will gladly take story over combat any day! Alright... now I will be writing for the next several hours, so check back later for the actual game journal, it has thrills, and chills, and .... spills? :)
Grrrrrr! I do be thinkin' tha' tha last time ah was tellin mah story ah had left off right after ah had been reincarnated by tha innkeeper we had met earlier in our travels. Well, as soon as we 'ad been brought back, then we thought we should hurry up an' get tha boys body back inta tha tomb, so as no one would be blamin' us fer takin it. As we was gettin back ta tha town it was just before sunup, an' we was startin ta get worried about bein seen by tha peoples that was wakin up early. Luckily, tha tomb was on tha edge o' tha town so after we opened tha heavy stone door, which wasn't to easy let me tell yah bein as we was all real tired from dyin an all, then we got 'im back in ta tha mausoleum or whatever it was an on 'is stone slab, an then closed tha door again. Well, we was all 'urtin pretty bad without 'avin much 'ealin so we made our way back ta tha stone circle used for tha druid ritual, an figured it would be a pretty safe place ta rest. Well, I fell asleep real quick like an then slept for what felt like an eternity, though mah family said it was more like 14 hours. Once we was all 'ealed up we set out ta tha south since we expected tha we would hit tha road we was lookin for without 'avin ta head back through town. Tha' first night travelin' away from Blackstone we stayed at a longhouse o' Farhlanghanagahanhanghnor whatever 'is name is. It was a real good restin' place, full o' provisions. Big sis' said we should leave a donation so as not ta be cursed. An' as was bein real cautious 'bout magics an curses an s@#t, ah thought it would be best not ta mess around. So, ah took a little time an' chopped a bunch a wood out back with an axe tha' seemed ta be set there jus' for tha' reason. Then, when we left in tha mornin' we made sure it was real clean, an' ready for tha next travellers ta come through. Tha beds there were real comfy, so much better than sleepin' under a bush on tha side a the road.
Once we was on tha road, we made slow time cuz I 'ad given tha druid 'is horse back without thinkin' about 'ow slow Daria would move as a dwarf. Well, we still made it ta Diamond Lake by evenin an were lookin forward ta a good inn an' a hot meal. Unfortunately, this was gonna be a bit 'ard ta find. Tha first place we checked was full a Greyhawk soldiers an' they didn' take to kindly ta me bein a lizard. WELL, I tried ta tell them tha' ah was in tha Greyhawk militia too, but they jus' wouldn' believe me since an entirely new body 'ad been made for me from tha reincarnation spell ah didn' have mah militia tattoo anymore F#$ING MAGIC!!!! Anyways, mah family kinda pushed me away before ah started a fight an' we started lookin for a different place ta stay. As we got ta tha main square we 'eard tha prayers an preachin' o' what appeared ta be another temple o' Cuthbert. Again, ah was dragged off by mah family before I could get inside ta tell tha priest 'ow wrong 'e was, ah well, another day. Though, it turned out ta be real good in tha end cuz jus' a couple a buildin's down ah found a much much better place ta spend a bit o time. It was called tha Feral Dog, an' it was mah kinda place, they was chargin a copper piece ta get in, but it was worth it. It was loud an' rowdy an' ta one side a tha bar there was a pit with people standin around it placin bets. When I looked in ah saw a couple o' dogs fightin, real bloody an all. Ah grabbed a pint from tha bar an placed a couple a bets, though I didn win ah had a great time. Tha kid 'ad wandered in wit' me, but he didn stay long. Ah think 'is delicate sensibilities were a bit offended when one o' tha other patrons stumbled past us fallin' inta tha pit. He tried ta 'old his own, but was quickly torn ta shreds by tha dogs. Tha kid left reak quick like, ah think it was jus' a bit too much for tha lil tike since he's a eunich an all. As 'e was figthin though, ah saw the other patrons placin bets on 'im. As ah was waitin fer tha next fight ta begin an idea popped inta mah head. I hadn' 'ad a real good chance ta break mah new body in, an I felt ah needed a lil exercise ta see what I could do before gettin' inta a real fight. So when they let tha dogs loose ah jumped tha rail an readied mahself. As soon as ah had jumped, ALL of tha patrons o' tha bar had gathered around tha pit, but it looked like they made room for one large half -orc right at tha front o' tha pit. He was enormous, an looked like he could handle himself real well. Tha dogs leapt at me but tha sharp claws an fangs tha' had ripped tha other man ta shreds couldn' even scratch mah scales, so ah punched one an 'e started ta cower a bit an a couple more blows ta tha head an they was both down an out. Ah was feelin' pretty good about mah light workout an really wanted ta see how strong tha' half-orc really was, but I thought tha' it might be best ta stay at full capacity fer anythin' tha might threatin mah family. Though we did give each other a quick nod of recognition before ah left tha pit. As ah made mah way back upstairs through a passage ta one side ah was givin a free pint by tha barkeep, nice lil bonus if I do say so. I figured ah had spent enough time in tha bar an should be gettin back ta mah family. On mah way out ah was congratulated by some, but got dark looks from a few others, ah think that it may have been dependent on whether they won money bettin on me or not, but ah didn really care. Anyways, mah big sis Daria found me an said she had gotten us rooms which was real good cuz there were so many people livin on tha street ah wasn' sure we would find a room. Seemed like tha town 'ad fell on 'ard times when its main industry collapsed. Tha next day we headed outta town ta make our way ta Blackwall keep where we was supposed ta meet Turin's contact Garm.
About halfway through tha day we saw a burnt out farm a bit off 'o tha road. Mah lil bro an tha kid wanted ta check it out, but ah thought takin a bunch a time away from tha journey might not be such a good idea. Ah felt a lil bad about not lettin them explore tha tower earlier though an said we could explore it now rather than lookin at it on tha way back, but would rather wait till we had accomplished our task. In tha end we kept movin, but we have another place ta stop at on tha way back. Tha' night we camped a bit off tha path, an ah took mah lil bro huntin for a bit. Ah was able ta make a great throw with a javelin ah had been carryin around an killed me a beautiful doe. Venison is good eatin an Daria is a great cook. We didn' have any salt ta dry tha meat, so we cooked it all so as ta take it with us, got about ten days o' food for tha trip tha' would taste SO much better than trail rations or those gross bars tha kid carries around. Tha next day we were able ta make decent time an' found a old stable ta stay in for tha night. Ah had just laid down for a good nights sleep in some soft hay when mah lil bro woke me up sayin there was somethin flyin off in tha distance. Ah was real groggy an all, an' couldn' see anythin so ah went back ta bed. Mah shift at watch was next, so when he woke me up ah made sure ta wake up properly. About an hour inta mah watch ah saw somethin flyin low circles in tha distance, so ah got mah bro up, an though ah couldn see it anymore, he was able to cuz it had changed its flight a lil. He said it was tha same thing he had seen so we thought we would check it out a bit. He hid an started creepin towards it, an I decided ta light a torch ta see a bit better, though I didn need it too much now tha' I was a trog. Well, ah think tha fire wasn' such a good idea cuz it saw it an immediately started flyin towards us. Ah ran out a bit away from tha stable an planted tha torch in tha ground hopin it would fly at tha fire rather than me, then sprinted back ta tha stable. But, it was too late, an it kept flyin straight towards me. As it was comin towards me ah hit tha belt ta get bigger, when it hit tha torch light ah saw tha' it was some big flyin lizard an started yellin ta wake up tha others. Mah family said it was called a Wivren or Whivron or Wyvern or somethin, ah didn care much 'bout tha' at tha time though. It obviously thought it was tha top o' tha food chain, but it hadn' ever met me before either. As it swooped down on me it hit me with its clawed feet an' grabbed real deep into mah shoulders. I think it wanted ta try an pick me up ta fly off with me, but ah way a whole lot more when I use tha belt so it whipped its tail around towards me, poison drippin of tha end. Luckily, it couldn' quite get through mah scales. Then I decided ta teach tha big beastie a lesson an grabbed both its ankles flippin it onta its back an pinnin it ontop o' its wings. As mah family woke up they ran outside but hadn' quite had a chance ta get next to it yet, think I heard mah lil bro smack into tha side o' tha stable as he sprinted back, maybe he was tryin ta break inta tha inside ta get away from tha beastie, or tryin ta get tha family, but either way there was a pretty loud thump! Ah had tha beastie under control an' started rippin 'im ta shreds with tha spikes on mah armor, tha beastie was lookin real bad at this point, an ah new ah wasn' really in danger anymore so ah thought it might be good ta let mah bro in on it, he's been a bit bored on tha trip bein away from tha excitement o' tha city for so long. So, I held tha half dead beastie up, exposin it's fleshy underbelly ta mah bro. He ran up an cut real deep inta its guts, spillin its innards everywhere. For once someone else got covered in goo, FINALLY! Well, sis remembered seein somethin in our basement sell real well tha' was related ta tha beastie, so we cut its tail off, an I would carry it till we found a buyer. We went ta bed an slept fitfully for tha rest a tha night.
Tha next day we was finally nearin Blackwall keep when mah family remembered tha' tha garrison was placed there as a defense against lizardmen. Well, tha meant ah would prolly be attacked on sight, so ah borrowed mah lil bro's hat o' disguises an tried ta make mahself look as human as possible. Luckily, it was enough ta get me past tha guards an' to our meetin with Garm. As soon as we mentioned tha we was sent by Turin Deathstalker he was beyond helpful, an I told him about mah...... condition.... Well, he asked me ta stay in tha room tha he had prepared for us until we left, ah figured it was prolly a good idea since ah didn' want ta make trouble for tha greyhawk military, bein a part o' it mahself. He also said tha' we should wait a couple a days for one o' his scouts, fella named Lucian, ta return ta guide us through tha swamp ta Cold Stones Keep. This worked out real nice for sis cuz it was tha beginnin o' Richfest, well ah was stuck in tha room an' couldn do proper service ta Llerg, but at least Daria brought me some good food from tha festival. As soon as Lucian returned he told us o' tha dangers o' tha swamp, an suggested tha' we get some bug repellant potions. Mah family had found a wizard ta sell tha tail too an traded for some o' tha repellant, though I didn' need any on account o' mah scales. Well, we let Lucian rest another day after makin' it back, then headed out. We had ta tie everyone tagether with rope so as not ta wander off tha path, an Daria had ta wear some floatin boots so we could pull her along rather than movin at a snails pace since she had also traded for some new armor at tha keep. We made it through tha first day on account o' our guide who had us stop a couple a times cuz there were nasty beasties nearby tha woulda had us as a mid day snack. But, we did make it ta a good camping site by night fall at a place called Dead Orc Hill. Tha day was very informative as Lucian pointed out all kinda lil tidbits about tha local creatures an plants an places. There was a nice dry cave ta camp in, an ah started a bit o' a fire. About halfway through tha night mah lil sis woke us all up sayin somethin big with like ten heads was comin towards tha cave, so we crept towards tha back a tha cave an waited for it ta pass. After a few very tense minutes it finally left, an' we were able ta sleep through tha resta tha night uneventfully. Tha next day we headed on towards Cold Stone Keep, an Lucian had said tha there was a nearby watch tower o' Pelor tha' we could shelter in for tha night. But as we was approachin tha tower a javelin whipped past mah nose. Mah head jerked up from carefully watchin mah steps through tha swamp ta see a Blackscale in front of us an two ta either side. I cut tha rope around mah waist since ah was at tha back cuz tha wussy elf Lucian was tryin ta get us ta jus' walk through while they took their shots at us. Tha's not tha way Bane Daern thinks, ah ain' one ta shy away from a fight, an ah definitely ain' gonna let some stupid lizards sit back an attack mah family without consequences. So ah hit mah belt ta get bigger, then ah charged tha one tha' had thrown a javelin at me an tacled him ta tha groun' rippin inta him with mah spikes. As I finished him off ta grab at tha next closest. As he was goin down ah saw tha elf an mah family were finally startin ta redeem themselves by fightin tha other three, but tha' more o' tha buggers were showin up. As the other three fell mah family started makin a dash for tha keep, but they couldn' run through tha swamp, an at tha speed tha Daria was goin in her new armor, I knew she was gonna take awhile, so I grabbed for one a tha new ba#$%ds an wrestled him down. Now, ta his credit Lucian started gainin some respect in mah eyes cuz he started shootin at tha others tha were arrivin, ta cover mah back while tha rest o' mah family tried ta get ta safety. As ah finished off two more ah saw tha' there were more comin than we could handle. Plus, even with as angry as ah had been, ah started ta get real tired an fatigued from such a hard exertion, so after ah had finished off two more ah tried ta grab mah fifth ta give Daria tha time she needed, but ah was just too tuckered out ta put up much o' a fight. So ah hoped tha' ah had bought enough time for mah family an turned ta make mah way towards tha tower. While ah had been fightin tha f#$%ers some really thick fog had appeared behind me, so ah tried ta skirt mah way around it, but slipped inta some quicksand. Luckily, mah tail helped me balance mahself in tha gunk, an ah grabbed a nearby bank ta pull mahself out an inta tha fog. Unfortunately, as ah was tryin ta get away tha Blackscales had gotten a couple more good hits in an ah was hurtin pretty bad. Then, as ah was about ta step outta tha fog an towards tha tower ah saw tha Daria had been knocked unconscious an two more lizardfolk were standin next ta her. Ah silently cursed ta mahself, tha she hadn' had time ta make it cuz o' her new armor tha ah had encouraged her ta get. Then, ah made a quick plan in mah head, an stepped back inta tha fog. Ta one side o' tha fog a couple o' tha Blackscale folk were nearby an' I grabbed one o' their enormous clubs, then ah gave tha hat a twist ta look like them. Ah stepped outta tha fog sayin "Don't worry, i'll grab her, at least we got one right?" an grabbed Daria's body off tha ground from between what was now three lizardmen since tha ones tha' ah had been fightin had made their way up their two, though ah think Lucian had killed tha other one tha ah had hit. Unfortunately, tha only person I fooled was tha stupid kid! Who promptly turned an blasted me with some of his stupid F#%*ING MAGIC!!! Well, tha two nearest lizardmen immediately turned an' smashed there clubs inta me, an as mah jaw was unhinged by one o' them ah went unconciuos droppin' ta tha ground. When I woke up, ah was in tha tower, it was tha next day, an Daria seemed ta be healin me. What a rough night, but somehow we made it through, not in small part ta tha great Bane Daern!!!!
After resting a second day after such a rough battle, Lucian an mah sis figured out tha' tha lizardmen were tha least active midmorning an tha' would be a good time for us ta start makin tha last leg o' tha journey ta Cold Stones Keep. As we approached tha Keep we saw tha' it was surrounded by water, an half of it had even sunk inta tha swamp! Ta make things worse it was freezin cold, even though tha swamp around it was hot an humid! Well, we thought it would be best not ta try an swim through tha frigid water tha' nearly completely covered tha front gate. So we walked around ta tha side an' used tha magic floatin boots ta ascend ta tha top o' tha walls one at a time. Course as soon as Daria an' mahself step onta tha nearby balcony tha dilapadated wood gave way beneath me an I fell inta tha room below. Ta make things worse ah hit mah head on a big porcelain bathtub, then fell through tha floor again. Ugh, tha' hurt more than a bit, but tha magic boots were dropped down ta me an I floated back up so tha' Daria could heal me up. Daria said tha' we shouldn' stand next ta each other cuz it couldn' hold tha weight o' two peopl, but as usual mah younger brother wasn' listenin' an he stepped right next ta her, droppin her ta tha floor below as well. Ah took tha boots off, an dropped 'em down to her so she could get back up with us. Luckily, she only fell through tha one floor an didn' hit any tubs, so she didn' get hurt as bad as ah did. After tha' we made our way over ta a nearby doorway, an opened it up. Inside big Sis saw a lil girl runnin around with what looked like tha cape we was lookin fer, "The Fiends Embrace" or some such thing tha' Iuz had givin his lover. Anyways, tha kid ran down a stairwell, an out ta tha courtyard below stoppin at tha waters edge. Well, I didn' want ta hurt a lil girl, but we needed tha cloak, so I rushed her an grabbed her taclin' her ta tha ground. Then ah ripped tha cloak off an stuffed it inta mah backpack. As ah was doin this ah heard a loud clang as someone attacked Daria but, 'is blade only found her new armor, finally it saved her an' ah felt a lil' better 'bout gettin her ta take it. Ta make things worse, more people was comin outta tha woodworks! Even worse was some big water drenched troll tha' came out from behind me ta attack me while I tried ta protect tha girl. Then ............ F#$&ING F#$K F#$KITY F#$K F#$K F#$KIN F#$KERIN F#$K F#$KIN MAGIC!!!!! Tha d#$n girl dissappeared from underneath me! A stupid F#$KIN illusion, an two more A#$%OLES started shootin at me. WELL!!! I was PISSED OFF ta say tha least, then got big with tha belt, an suddenly since ah was so angry ah let off tha stinkiest cloud a s#$t I ever have since becomin a stupid trog! A nearby big orc started retchin his guts all over tha place, sick from tha stench, an I turned an knocked tha stupid troll unconcious with a quick claw an' bite. Then starte movin towards mah family who seemed ta be 'avin a bit a trouble. Ta make things even worse tha stupid wizard started usin' some d#$n wand tha' kept makin me weaker! Well, by tha time he 'ad hit me with it three times ah didn' have much strength left ta do much fightin. So ah walked over ta where one a tha bastards was shootin me from tha balcony an' threw mah 1600 pounds ah weight as a big a#$ lizard against tha rotten wall an' balcony, makin' it crash ta tha ground an him fallin with it as he was retchin all over himself from mah stench! This finally got me outta sight o' tha stupid wizard too. Tha bugger dropped 'is crossbow when he fell an drew a greatsword ta try an hit me with, but big Sis had made it to me ta heal me of mah weakness, good lass tha' one, so ah was back strong again, an grabbed tha f#$ker in front of me. As soon as ah did tha lil wussy cried like a lil b#$%h an surrendered. Ah went ahead an pinned him quick an tied his hands behind his back, then dragged him outside only ta see tha' tha kid was unconscious as well as two o' tha other f#$kers tha had attacked us, but the other three had disappeared! We tied them all up, an ah shouted ta tha others ta come out an drop their weapons an equipment an we would let them an' their friends go, but tha coward tha' had surrendered said they wouldn' show. While we was disarmin tha prisoners Lucian was sayin somethin about tha troll not dyin till it was drug outta tha water so, I did it real quick since ah was tha only one big enough ta get 'im out. Then Lucian an' ah started guardin' tha prisoners, while tha resta mah family went inta tha keep ta search for tha cloak an tha ones who escaped. Well, Lucian an ah was tha ones who found 'em when they attacked us. Ah rushed tha wizard as he hit me with tha stupid f#$%ing wand again, how he surpised us while ah was watchin for him ah will never know, but ah was pretty weak again. Still he was just a stpid lil f#$%ing b#%@h who didn' stand a chance against tha great BANE!!! Ah pinned tha f#$%ker ta tha ground an pounded his ugly f$#%king face till he was unconcsious then ah ripped a hand off as a trophy, stripped him naked, an threw him inta tha freezin cold water ta drown. When ah turned around tha other prisoners had been set free then filled with arrows along with tha b#$%h tha had popped out with tha wizard. Lucian said some invisible f#$k had let the others go, an tha' he had gotten away with one o' tha prisoners. So in tha end ah stripped tha other three naked since they were all unconcious or dead an threw them in tha water ta drown as well. F#$k em, ah have had enough with this stupid f#$king magic cloak. Lucian tracked tha last two ta where it looked like a boat had been moored at tha back o' tha keep, an where tha last two had made it away. Tha others say tha' they think tha it was an adventurin' group sent by Iuz ta recover tha cloak, but tha' they didn' have it yet. Mah family had searched all over tha keep, an found nothin, so tha last place we have ta look is down a well, an tha' is tha next part o' tha story. But, before then, I am parched! Waitress, four pints please! Wait!..... tha's four pints plus whatever anyone else needs a drink... an' put mine on their tab...