performed to the strains of Barry Manilow's
snoring. The foreman refused to give in
any of the dread Manilow's recordings of
Copa Cabana, the worst, most annoying song
ever sung. Instead, he forced them to
dance across the great hall while wearing
dresses and skirts, or "togas" and "kilts"
, words beyond werewolf comprehension. Ultimately, this lead
to werewolves whoopin up on wigging wankers
for having the temerity to suggest that
people who talk them four syllable words
are, in any way, deserving of respect.
As this was suddenly way too personal
"Stone Cold" brought a foreign object into
plain view, causing great confusion for many
smurfs, whether they were confused before, or
whether they were so catatonic that confusion
was immaterial, they were nonetheless, shall we
say, in a spirit of gentle enquiry,
and in a well meaning, frivolous, yet
sincere manner, each missing two toes. Who
was the guy who wrote that book
about animated cheese and the effects of
medusa gazes on adolescent abberations? He was
on Oprah, then he got his own
show, "Eat Cheese and Get Stoned", which
was brought to you by Kraft. In
the end, it was finally cancelled because
Oprah found out that cheese was bad
after she ate a wheel of swiss
cheese that a tribe of kobolds lived
in for a few months while they
were fumigating their dungeon for carrion crawlers.
Needless to say, it was too much
for Oprah, when she ate the kobolds
and the cheese in 47 seconds. Her
book club meeting had to be postponed
and all her sheep didn't know what
to read, or how to feed themselves,
and they all died. There was much
soulsearching and introspection on the part of
the guests on the VERY special Maury
with Rosie O'donnell and Donald Trump duking
it out for the grand prize: a
reprieve from eternal damnation, which both of
them would certainly face. They especially dreaded
what Baalzebub had in store for them:
eternally licking envelopes with papercut tongues and
giving backrubs to rabid dire fiendish porcupines
while watching "You're Fired" and "The View"
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