apply some more pancake make-up to
his withered skull. Vecna, on the other
had recent attended a swingers party at
the new re-constructed Castle Greyhawk. It was
a blast! Iggwilv was there with her
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
new slave boy, a Genie named Oscar
the Not so Grouchy. Much later, at
a run-down nightclub, the two slow-danced to
Iggwilv's favorites: Pantera, Slayer, Evil Clown Posse,
Napalm Death and, the evilest of all,
Blind Willie Hades. Smoke filled the arena
as Rob Halford rode his motorcycle out
on a ramp of decaying bodies. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
"In the beginning, back in 1955. Man
sought the true powers of evil through
meditation and overconsumption of Twinkies - however, I
have discovered a new path, the way
of the Sevenfold Tiger! It is simplicity
and conformity of thought to the ways
of the elevendy-seven tiger are really
all the rage in Paris and London.
The zombie army invaded. Chainsaws were issued
to the most biggest dudes gathered at
the rally point, in Raleigh, North Carolina
. These specimens were grown at dude ranches
in Borneo, from whence they were smuggled
to the Windy city in Uhauls. Once
in Chicago, they are deloused, defleaed, shaved,
by a team of zombie groomers. Once
they are cleansed of internal parasites and
dressed in standard issued uniforms. They are
given English lessons, and commanded to attack
all whom oppose Orcus lord of Undead
with their Ronco Turnip Twaddlers. These zombies
feature several enhancements, including the following; Teflon
footwear, asbestos gloves, and fancy kevlar helmets.
They lurch smartly in formation, these zombie
crusaders, ready to do battle for truth
of matters not yet revealed to them.
Their gruesome medals jangle in the wind,
and a crow cawed in the distance
and they chewed their standard issue yellow
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
string bikinis. This however offended the order
of zombie slayers; they did not like
yellow stringed bikinis!. The captain instructed all
of his fighters to attack en masse
with their +1 polechainsaws of zombie mutilation
and to show no mercy to the
cross-dressing horde as they stumbled provacatively towards
the Church of United Brethren of the
|