How would you feel about a proposal that started with a descriptive 3-4 sentence paragraph/hook that summed up the tone and feel of the adventure, and then another small paragraph that did a straight 3-4 sentence plot synposis (this is only about 250-300 words, tops)?After that, the rest of the proposal is just a list of the coolest WOW! elements from the adventure. . . they can range from a description of a specific encounter, a cool NPC, a particular trap, an overview of the dungeon's location, a philosophical theme, a 3.5 conversion of an old monster, new monsters, etc. . . Basically whatever else I would consider to be the best parts of the adventure.
Based on this, you would have to trust that the various elements will come together in a cohesive plot. That's a negative. On the other hand, you also get a very good sense of the adventure's selling points without wasting so much time reading through the logical points that don't get anyone excited.
I thought it would be wise to get your opinion before forging ahead with this. Also, it will be much easier for me to write them out this way, and I may be able to increase the number of choices you will have to work with in future writer's meetings (2 new proposals for every rejection. . . and all that).
Thanks for posting this Chris. I only started submitting proposals about 3 months ago, and since the "Critique my proposal" thread hadn't yet started, I didn't know how others were writing their proposals. So I had to find my own way.
What you describe is how I chose to proceed: short paragraph of flavorful, descriptive text followed by the adventure synopsis. I've only submitted 3 so far and only one got as far as "under consideration." So I've been wondering if I needed to change my methods to be more similar to those posted in the other thread. I'm right there with you on this one ready to snatch at any morsels of advice thrown our way.
I dunno, DeClench - a 33% success rate seems pretty good to me. :)
In my previous queries, I usually focus on simply telling the story from the PCs perspective. As I've been looking at my past sucesses vs. my past failures, it's occured to me that much of my word count is being wasted on moving the PCs from place to place. . . very tedious.
How would you feel about a proposal that started with a descriptive 3-4 sentence paragraph/hook that summed up the tone and feel of the adventure, and then another small paragraph that did a straight 3-4 sentence plot synposis (this is only about 250-300 words, tops)?
After that, the rest of the proposal is just a list of the coolest WOW! elements from the adventure. . . they can range from a description of a specific encounter, a cool NPC, a particular trap, an overview of the dungeon's location, a philosophical theme, a 3.5 conversion of an old monster, new monsters, etc. . . Basically whatever else I would consider to be the best parts of the adventure.
Based on this, you would have to trust that the various elements will come together in a cohesive plot. That's a negative. On the other hand, you also get a very good sense of the adventure's selling points without wasting so much time reading through the logical points that don't get anyone excited.
Honestly, though I'm sorry to do this to you, I'm going to have to choose "both". The fact is that we need to see both how the plot comes together AND the adventure's cool bullet points. If you feel like there's an element of the plot that's obvious and bland ("they then take that boat and travel for 30 days, seeing nothing much of note"), you're of course welcome to omit or skim past it, but we still need to see that there aren't any gaping holes. Remember that, of the adventures that get to the meeting, our #1 reason for rejection or rewrite requests is "not enough information on the adventure - show us how everything plays out".
That said, having a bullet point section that calls out specific spicy bits is a fine idea. Of those examples that you've listed, however, there are some that we don't need to see. If you're using an old monster that hasn't been updated to 3.5 yet, definitely drop its name, but there's no need to call it out - one of the editors will catch it immediately. Also, be wary of the 'philosophical theme' element... while I'm not sure what exactly you mean, the few recent examples I can think of didn't score any extra points with their philosophical overtones (primarily because we didn't think the players would notice or care).
So keeping all of that in mind - good luck, and we look forward to seeing what you submit!
-James
So keeping all of that in mind - good luck, and we look forward to seeing what you submit!
Will do.
Thanks for your feedback, man. It was helpful. I'll keep pluggin' away.
- Chris
I dunno, DeClench - a 33% success rate seems pretty good to me. :)
Yeah, but that one was killed in committee.
I should add after *fully* re-reading Chris's post, that I did include a *full* synopsis after the opening bit on each proposal. O well, time to put the screws to the monkeys again.
Quick bump to get this out of the archives, again. :)
Aw, man! I saw Jeremy's name and was hoping to get a new, super-cool tip. ;)
I dunno, DeClench - a 33% success rate seems pretty good to me. :)
Zherog -
Yeah... that seems pretty good to me too! My adventure queries all seem to end up as tattered shreds under the gray render's feet!
- Ashavan
You and me both, Ashavan.
-- John
I dunno, DeClench - a 33% success rate seems pretty good to me. :)Zherog -
Yeah... that seems pretty good to me too! My adventure queries all seem to end up as tattered shreds under the gray render's feet!
- Ashavan
Well thanks. Unfortunately, I'm quite slow and deliberate with my adventure proposals and have not submitted any recently. I won't lie, that last rejection knocked some steam out of me, as it was a beloved child. I've been trying to yank every last bit of "cool" out of it for use elsewhere: it's already supplied several Dragon proposals. There's now other Dungeon proposals in the works though.
It boggles my little brain how some of you are so prolific with your proposals. :)