Elegy |
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For determining in-character what is evil, the official rules of alignment are here on the PRD - just in case you are not familiar with the by-the-book rules. That said, what matters for you is how your group and your GM interprets those rules (both from what your current alignment is and how quickly alignment changes), and if there is a serious dispute between your PC and the paladin.
I hope that the current discussion in this thread convinces you that alignment sees a great deal of variance from table to table and group to group. It sounds like you are in a group where area of effect damage spells will be a liability at times, while in other groups you would fit in with no issues (as long as you didn't accidentally include the other PCs in the area of your fireballs).
I second ub3r n3rd's suggestion of talking with your group to see if you are overdoing the chaotic moments - they might also have ideas on how your PC might be better able to respond to these events. If everyone in your group is having fun with your PC, then everything is fine and you only have to change if you want to. If your PC is making the game less fun for the others, you might need to tone it down. Either way, you could also ask them for ideas on how your PC could deal with these situations in the future to be less disruptive.
Humbly yours,
Elegy