the Best Man- Groom-bot's page

"As if the merfolk did not have enough trouble," the Groom gives a gargling laugh. "I would not be too hasty to get rid of the book; we still don't know much about it other than that the cult wants it back. Being mostly a collection of ancient Desnan rituals, I don't see it as being innately evil, just a tool that we might be able to wield against the cult."

"Dingus and Jim have shown that they are well equipped to defend themselves in the dreamlands so let's just get it away from our mates and head to the Grunt. I have a feeling that if we sleep there and are transported to the Dreamland again, at least we are close enough to make a move against the cult"

"I doubt you'll get a 'good night's sleep' with this book around." the Groom lift the Book of Dreams up and points it at Corliss accusingly. "Well, get this Moses up here, Jim. Trying to make sense of this garbled yarn is like sailing into a headwind."

Moses is retrieved and proves a valuable witness under the Goom's inquisition. "So this spider cult occupies an old manor on the outskirts of Scurvytown and there's a hidden passage there from the Grunt. From what Moses says, the old man that runs the place, Asnaan, might know more than he let on."

"I'd not recommend keeping this book on the ship, I don't know that we have any advantage against attacks from the Dreamlands and we might lose crew next time. Doesn't seem like we have any leads at the moment so might be worth circling back to the Grunt. That or never sleep peacefully again."

the Groom listens closely, still except for an occasional bead of condensation dripping from his stringy hair. "This spider cult you're mentioning now. Tell me more about that. The other book, Book of Secrets, mentioned the dead necromancer had been in conversations with a figure called the Spider. Could be the cultists were trying to recruit him. Maybe the author of this Book of Dreams was trying to learn lost dream lore from the dead? Still more questions than answers."

"A web more tangled than Corliss' knotwork I'd reckon." the Groom sniffs though it's unclear if it humor or derision.

"This book is dangerous enough. I'd not leave it aboard lest one of the crew sail into treacherous shoals of sleep and never wake again. Where is this cult now?"

"And I would have thought there would be plenty of gold and bloodshed in your dreams, Kaul. Just can't bring the gold back. Though..." the Groom pauses eyeballing Jim's torn clothes. "Could be that there's something about the Book that's thinning the veil between the Dreamlands and here."

1d20 ⇒ 11

the Groom points to the words carved in the darkwood cover of the compendium. "That might be your answer right there, Jim. May I look more closely?" the Groom says, though it he doesn't wait for a response. He brushes a damp hand against his jacket, though that does little to dry his perpetually clammy grasp, before picking the book up and idly paging through.

"Book of Dreams. Looks to have some Desnan rituals in the back here. She being concerned with dreams and travel, I wouldn't be surprised if this book itself may have somehow drawn your dreaming selves into the Dimension of Dreams, which overlays the Ethereal Plane unseen and unfelt all around us. Lucid dreamers however, and sometimes those in an altered state say, may find themselves adrift far from the shores of the wakening world."

Corliss acts swiftly and shuts the suspicious tome. the Groom nods with approval and peers more closely at it. "This isn't the same book, Kaul. That was the Book of Secrets; this says, Book of Dreams. Now where did this come from?"

He picks up the book and looks at Jim "You OK, Mate?" he asks.

"Anything more about that Spider you were asking about?"

Elsewhere, the Groom eyeballs Kaul and Corliss. Not getting any response, the Groom shrugs, "Then it sounds like you haven't learned much more than myself. Where's Jim and Dingus?"

s'alright at least we've managed to stay afloat through the ongoing craziness. And we're closing on a decade of gaming :)

Kaul calls out a greeting to the Groom as the inquisitor comes into view and walks to the side of the ship. The tall, black-clad figure doffs his widebrimmed hat to snap off some of the moisture that constantly drips from it. "Ahoy, Kaul," he replies in a sepulchral tone and heads up the gangway. "Anything more about that Spider you were asking about?"

the Groom shakes his head. "No, Jim. Though that could be a code name. Might be another Norgorberite cultist. They collaborated on some of the experimentation and the Spider seems to have been very interested in the secrets pried from the jaws of the dead."

He hands the book back to Dingus. "I'll ask around tomorrow. See if I can find out anything more, but that's all I know for now. I imagine you'll be wanting to try your new quarters. There are two berths in each of the officers quarters beneath the Captain's Cabin. Dingus has a cot in the Storeroom. I'll sleep with the crew."

the Groom nods. "the Book mentions the box and the Man in Yellow's corpse, but doesn't say what became of them. I don't see any evidence that the necromancer and your patron were in contact. I expect that the secrets contained within would make the rich and powerful nervous though. Will you return the book to Millant?"

"I think that you have the right of it, Dibbets. I wonder if he could have led us to this Spider." the Groom leafs through the back of the Book. "Do you know who Millant Lefevre was looking for?"

"Nothing on any of that though I wouldn't recommend taking dating advice from a crazy cultist anyway. But there are definitely secrets. The book descends to another level of strangeness here. Pleas to Norgorber and conversations with someone called the Spider. And interrogations of the corpses delivered to the Depot. Some delivered by his zombie assassins."

the Groom gives Jim a wry look. "I don't really know Tarmon's views on necromancy, but I think the less who know about some of this stuff, the better." He flips through the book a moment. "Seems the Norgorberite's crew weren't fans of his dark practices. They mutinied and left him adrift near Widowmaker Island on the return trip to Magnimar. He made it to Arena and did well enough to buy a boat and hapless ogrekin pit fighter. Seems he wanted to voidstick the ogrekin, but it was loyal enough that he put that off. Ended up in Freeport and took over the Crematorium Depot. Here's where it gets interesting though, seems our friend 'Stumpy' shows up at the Depot one night with a badly rotted corpse and a JADE BOX."

"The tuyewera, after acquiring a tongue from a corpse at the Depot, told the priest that the box once held the key to an ancient serpentfolk city beneath A'Val, but its master had been murdered and the key stolen by local pirates. If I recall correctly there was only the jade dagger in the box, no key?" the soggy sailor inquires of Dingus and notices the viper familiar has stopped his exploration of the pink handbag to stare unblinking at the Groom.

the Groom takes the Book and begins flipping through, quickly reading the scribbled entries. The others are left to wait expectantly. Estabo finishes his stew and pours out bowls for those that missed chow adding some toasted bread and beer. Belinna launches into a report on the repairs and additions to the ship while Rafe sits close to Dibbets glancing at his returned mentor fondly while the halfling eats.

the Groom pauses to think and then flips back to reread a section before continuing on. Finally, after Estabo has washed the bowls and the crew have finished a couple bottles of rum, the Groom looks up from the book. "A fair bit of this should be left in murky depths and never hauled to the surface. Seems the author was a wealthy merchant in Magnimar before he came to the Shackles in search of information on the profane voidsticks sometimes found among the kuru savages on the Cannibal Archipelago. He was able to recover one and discover the secret of making them. The instruction are in here along with a couple other items."He looks up at Dingus. "There's something in here called an ectoplasm bottle that sounds a bit like the soul bottles you recovered from the Man in Yellow, Dingus." He returns to paging through the front of the book. "This section ought to be ripped out and burned if we keep the book."

To be continued.

"I'm not licking it," the Groom asserts.

the Groom shrugs and nicks his thumb drawing a bead of blood and touches the spiral on the amulet with it. Nothing happens. "Worth a try. What next?"

"I'd rather not wait. There might be something important in the book. Do you have any idea how to open it other than risk destroying it?" He frowns at Kaul and then looks at the amulet again. "That spiral over the mouth is unusual," he agrees with Corliss and Jim.

"The amulet and the book are of the most interest, I'm thinking. Who's carrying them?"

I think Dingus ended up with the book and Corliss with the rest of the loot.

"Aye, Ella said that they had dropped Drake there to be cremated. Unfortunately, sounds like that priest may have put his body to other uses. I'll need to speak to the Captain's Council about new management at the Crematorium." He reflects some more on what Jim has said. "Juju zombies are quite powerful. I wonder how the Norgorberite managed that. What's in the book?"

Thanks for the recap!

the Groom listens intently, rum forgotten at his elbow. "Nice work," he nods thinking. "Norgober is a foul fish. Four foul fish, you might say: toxic as a scorpion fish, murderous as a frenzied shark, slippery as an eel, and deceptive as a cuttlefish. Still, I'd be surprised to hear the priest was allied with 'Stumpy'. Secrets lie within Norgorber's portfolio, but not the undead. Let's see what you found. "

"Ah, the amputated abomination. I thought you might be referring to Dibbets' new condition for a moment," he nods to Dibbets' pegleg.

"And what business is that? C'mon now, tell the tale." the Groom gurgles.

"Aye. Welcome aboard then. Get to the galley. There'll be grub and grog for you as well." The eerie inquisitor releases Corliss' hand and moves to the quarter deck to be relieved.

Last up the ramp, Corliss is nearly as tall as the tall, pale sailor, who squints at the newcomer with suspicion. "Are they trying to replace me already? I see you claim to serve the Pirate Queen, but I'll be the judge of that. I'm the Groom." He grabs Corliss' hand in his own cool, clammy hand.

the Groom gives a nod shedding some brine off his ever sopping wide-brimmed hat. "Aye, Ella has filled me in somewhat on your recent journey. Sounds like you've got a bit more to add to the tale though." Eight bells ring from the helm. "Good timing. That's the end of my watch. I'll hand over to Middle Watch and meet you in the Galley."

"Ahem," the Groom coughs conspicuously and then takes the eyepatch to stuff in Kaul's good hand as the thick thug seems to be daydreaming about lopping lycanthropes or perhaps gang fights in some fantastic distant space station...

"Seems we're saying good-bye again," the tall man in black says. "We can stay in touch with Tarmon's scrolls this time. I'll keep an eye on the Bloody Fortune and see her ready for when you return. Good luck and make sure that the Sea Devils and Aspis worms pay dearly."

the Groom squints at Dibbets. "How else would you be getting out to Shark Island and back? I don't think Tarmon is familiar enough with the place to risk a teleport from what Roberts told me about the magic. If you get over your head so to speak, at least a well armed ship will be waiting close by for a fortified retreat. Whether you want to take our own crew along is up to you."

also Dibbs, what do you mean by wetwork? bloody or aquatic? 'cause it is likely to be both.

"What you propose is that while Fortune's at the yards, we and her crew (or such of her crew as is needed) take another ship to Shark Island for a reconnoiter. Does that sum it up?"

the Groom slouches into a chair pulling off his boots and socks and then wringing out his socks. "That's right, Jim," he sighs. "I'll be babysitting the Bloody Fortune while you all take on whatever awaits at Moak Harbor. I imagine Tarmon will provide what crew is needed for the ship he finds, but take what crew you want. I'd suggest perhaps Esteban and Rafe stay behind and Belinna being captain ought to stay with the Fortune as well. I'll be sleeping aboard, but may be working in town."

"It seems that I'm to remain as shorebound as Peg-Leg for a while, " the Groom says ruefully. "As Jim has noted though, the Bloody Fortune is still waiting repairs and it'll be a couple weeks at least. "

Tarmon tugs on his beard. "Given recent events and the near riot at the Seaside Market, it might be best that we get you all out to sea sooner rather than later. I think that I can arrange a loaner ship until your vessel is repaired."

the Groom removes his hat to wring salt water from it. "We intercepted the bomb heading for the Temple along with one of Finn's gang. Come to think of it, the halfling still has the bomb and Finn now probably has that one and the one meant for the HBA. That's four bombs destroyed and two in Finn's hands which leaves two unaccounted for based on the records that we found. Whitecoat fled, but we're not sure where to unless the books Jim recovered hold a clue."

The shouts of Watch reinforcements are heard down the block. the Groom gives Kaul a dark look jerking his head toward the angry faces surrounding them. "Big picture, Mates. We may not get a better offer. It's time to go."

the Groom was the lead on that roll so Kaul assisted and it's a 19 which is good enough to influence the Watch, but that properly takes a minute. They've backed off from full arrest to turning you over to the Guard, but further capitulation would require more dialog. Unfortunately, the formerly intimidated crowd is getting really ugly and reinforcements are on the way. It's best to intimidate and move on quickly before things turn. Further delay may lead to mob violence and civilian injury.

The muttering of the growing crowd that has gathered around the stand-off takes a nasty mob-like tone. Whispered rumors hiss around dangerously. "What's going on?" "They killed Pious Pete." "I think they were trying to bomb the Market" "What's the Watch doing?"

the Groom can see where this is headed and hears more Watch whistles approaching. He turns to his obstinate mates to quietly confer, "Take it easy, Mates. Reef your sails, there's a gathering storm here. The sooner we're out of here and back to the Council, the better."

To the Watch he says, "We're coming along peacefully. The Guard will vouch for us." He hands over his big crossbow and club.

the Groom takes Jim cue and steps forward presenting Tarmon's heavy ring on his mutilated hand. "I bear Tarmon's own ring to back our command. We'll take over know, they've got an appointment with the Council." He glares the Watch down.

Intimidate: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (1) + 14 = 15

oh, dicebot.

The Watch leader looks a little uncertain at Kaul's ranting and peers about before noticing the Groom's lack of concern. He pats a heavy cudgel against the palm of his other hand. "Curfew's up," the Watchman grunts. "If you're out, you're going down."

the Groom just fixes him in a steely gaze beneath the broad black brim of his hat. "Blood cursed these two are. Seeing only dark portents and death ahead. Can't wash that off either." He glances at Jim who fidgets in his small clothes. "I'd be happy to let you bust open their drunken skulls, but their fate belongs to Besmara now. Lubbers laws are second to the Pirate Queen's will. These two are bound to kneel on Her Quarterdeck."

Intimidate: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (12) + 14 = 26

The Watchman seems uncertain under the inquisitor's gaze. Finally, he grimaces. "You're in the wrong district. You've got count of 20 to get out of the Eastern District or Queen's Will will be done by out cudgels!"

The commotion on the street finally attracts the Watch. A patrol appears down the street from the group just as Dibbets offers to take his brain-fevered mates to the Temple District. the Groom scowls at the newcomers before answering Dibbets. "No, I believe I can handle this better. You and Dingus get on to Rentak's. We will join you as soon as we can."

Sizing up the pair Dibbs shrugs "Iffin ye cannae do aught... I ain't got feck all chance eh?... jus leaves Pegger as yer only option eh?"

the Groom takes note of Kaul's behavior and just shakes his head shedding a few drops of brine off his stringy hair onto his much shorter companion. "I've got no healing for that. Besmara might not see blood madness as a bad thing anyway. If Peg-Leg has nothing, we might need to go see that gilded gnome again. We'll pair dearly I'm sure."

the Groom pauses to wring out his hat which is mysteriously saturated though he only waded through the tide. He nods along. "Not a bad idea, mate. Finn may have the numbers, information, and contacts to help us catch this rat."

the Groom considers. "There's no way the Guard will open the gates in the middle of the night for our lot. If we push it, we'll likely end up in the Tombs. If we try after the start of Morning Watch though, maybe just before sun up. They might be more willing to listen. Maybe Tarmon will contact us by then. Hopefully, the white gnome prefers a good breakfast before bombing."

Having rifled through the desk, the Groom smiles wickedly as he gathers a couple leatherbound books filled with notes. "The lab rat may have given us the slip again, but I think these may be even more useful than that last pile of papers."

the Groom sidles away, giving Kaul plenty of room to work.

Only Dibbets and the Groom appear to have avoided whatever pestilent malady Whitecoat has cooked up. the tall, naturally pallid sailor heeds Jim's warning and transfers the guiding light from Jim's blade to his own sword as he leads the way to the rear of the warehouse where the Aspis Agent disappeared. There are a couple heavy doors on the far wall where the vaults are located. the Groom douses his light a moment and once the crew's eyes have adapted, they note a faint light marking the doorjamb of the door in the far right corner.

the Groom grabs Jim's arm and casts light on his rapier's guard. "Hold fast, Jim. We're not letting this lab rat scurry away again."

Dingus is perhaps to relieved to find out that it isn't him, it's the big construct. Siren sings as the Groom moves with alacrity to rapidly squeeze off two more bolts from the heavy repeating crossbow.

bane bolt: 1d20 + 7 + 2 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (9) + 7 + 2 + 1 + 1 = 20
damage: 1d10 + 2d6 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (3) + (1, 4) + 2 + 1 = 11

bane bolt: 1d20 + 7 + 2 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 7 + 2 + 1 + 1 = 14
damage: 1d10 + 2d6 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (2) + (5, 2) + 2 + 1 = 12

This time one bolt hits hard enough to barely leave a scratch. the Groom gives a grunt of disgust wondering what he's done to offend his mercurial patron goddess.

that is a string of crap rolls.

Know Arcana: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (3) + 10 = 13

the Groom is befuddled by the ungainly construct. "Not sure what it is, but just keep hitting it hard, Kaul." the Groom offers as he lifts Siren and blesses it with the Queen's own spite.

bane bolt: 1d20 + 7 + 2 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 7 + 2 + 1 + 1 = 14
damage: 1d10 + 2d6 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (2) + (4, 2) + 2 + 1 = 11

Unfortunately, the long unused repeater fires the bolt end-over-end.

the Groom holds the skull over the corpse and whispers to it, "Who cut your line and sent you into the deep now, Parnass?" A faint gleam of red passes through the skull's sockets and the mandible creaks faintly as the hollow rasping voice replies: "Zelkema"

Groom local know DC 20: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24

the Groom smiles coldly. "Now that's a name I happen to recognize. Zelkema is a smuggler who runs a business called Ztorage in the Warehouse District. Capt. Roberts suspected it might be a front with ties to the Aspis Consortium."

The man's throat is wide open. Cut more than once. In fact, three times: two parallel slashes and a diagonal line between them.

the Groom steps forward with skull still in hand. "This dead man might have something to say yet. Maybe he can tell us a thing or two of his death."

the Groom pulls out a bundle from under his jacket and unwraps the skull. The half-drowned sailor holds it up to stare into its sockets. It sheds no warning light at the moment. "Looks like any dead things around here aren't walking. Lead on Kaul."

the Groom gives a gargling laugh at Kaul's jest as the half-orc thug moves to the door. Not a soul is seen out in the street.

"I don't know that we'll get much response knocking on doors with recent events and the town under curfew," the Groom opines. "Why don't we see if the white dust leads us anywhere and if not hail this orc gang."

the Groom nods at Kaul's recollection and then his grim smile fades and he fixes a steely eye on his companions. "Remember the curfew," he croaks. "The east side will be less patrolled than the west, but I'd rather not have to deal with the Watch. He glances down at the heavy ring on the middle finger of his left hand next to the stump of his ring finger. "Tarmon's ring may give us a pass, but I don't trust the Watch well enough to know what it is."

the Groom shrugs. "I don't know much about worshiping animals. I do know belladonna will cure lycanthropy if it doesn't kill you. Either way, problem solved." He gives a gargling chuckle.

Nervous laughter follows Kaul's jest and the crew aboard, which includes everyone after the day's events except Jenkie and the Groom, settle down for chow. Dibbets is hardly an encyclopedia of the supernatural or even natural really and doesn't have much to say on lycanthropy other than, Gozreh don't care. the Groom is likely a better source of information should he show up.

the Groom does return during First Watch, climbing aboard to be greeted by expectant looks from his mates. "Couldn't get a nibble on my hooks," he laments. "All gone deep and the main concern was putting out the fires first. It's been a long day."

"The Old City is locked up tight and the rest of Freeport is under curfew. Sadly, I've got little to report. I don't know if even Tarmon could get a messenger out to us tonight."