Zellara, your humble narrator's page

I never knew that a miracle could be so disgusting. But first things first.

As we entered the laboratory, there were four large glass cylinders, each containing some sort of winged skull-topped nightmare monsters. Three of them were not moving, but the last one was very much alive, and came at us when the priest smashed the glass with his morningstar.

I regret to tell you this, but our heroes ran away screaming like little girls, after dropping a Grease spell and a smokestick to slow pursuit. Apparently that was enough to send the surly fiend chasing the priest instead.

As we reemerged we found that Majenko had been diligent and fetched the priests. Both Ishani and Yolanda were there, with a number of lesser clerics, tending to the sick. Ishani and Yolanda healed some of our wounds and followed us down to take care of the demon below (daemon actually, according to Ishani, but who cares).

When we caught up with it we found ourselves in some sort of sanctum devoted to Urgathoa. Diverse bodily fluids were seeping from seven basins around the room, and in the middle was a great statue of the Pallid Princess. On the floor were the bodies of the priest and the daemon, and hovering over them was a pale woman dressed like a hussy and wielding an oversized scythe.

There was a fierce battle and the priestess unleashed all kinds of foul magic at us, but we stood up to her. She bragged about the plague and even implicated our beloved queen in its creation. Impudent, lying hussy. I refused to believe it, but now I'm not so sure...

After we destroyed her something really awful - and aweful too, I must admit - happened. Her body remained suspended in mid-air and suddenly all the fluids of the basins started running toward her, forming a new body with an enormous clawed hand that rose and continued the battle. It was the grossest thing I ever saw in my life - and I've seen a lot. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget that sight.

Fortunately, with all those clerics we managed to bring that abomination down eventually and looted the place. Our heroes returned in glory and laden like camels, giggling as they discussed how they were to spend their plunder.

Their discoveries created quite the stir, and with potent clerics of both Abadar and Sarenrae to witness it, it could hardly be hushed up. They were the heroes of the day. Shadow even managed to befriend Zenobia Zenderholm, which I wouldn't have thought possible, and Sharleena got friendly with bishop Keppira of Pharasma. Morik got a shiny new platemail from his church and Balduran got his hideous Hellknight armor.

With the notes taken from the doctor and the vampire's research, the church of Abadar even managed to find a cure for the plague. Kroft was very happy and so was the queen. Both rewarded us amply, but best of all, we were treated to a proper Varisian potluck in Trail's End.

Later Sharleena was trying to track down Kester. Then orphanage seems to be safe, but there are more and more of those Gray Harridans in the streets now, and the Guard is sadly depleted. It turns out that Kester has gone and become an Inquisitor of Abadar. Although I can't say that I approve of his religion, I must admit that the boy shows spirit.

Although the plague seems to be ending, I had a nagging feeling that something was wrong, and the cards confirmed it. The Lost (misaligned) spoke of someone thinking clearly in the midst of confusion. Surely that cannot be any of us. The Beating showed that this person is in trouble and beset from all directions, while the Sky (again misaligned) showed an escape from the frying pan right into the fire. This does not bode well.

Another worrying report comes from Kester, who witnessed a strange scene. Apparently Commander Endring tried to assassinate the queen, who then pulled the bolt out of her own head and stabbed him with it. What in the world is happening to our queen?

It turns out the good doctor is not such a gentleman after all.

After we stabilized the patients Morik sent Majenko to get help for them while we explored the rest of the building. There was a storage area and a flight of stairs upward. Above were more of the Gray Harridans, which attacked us very rudely, but we put them down alright. After fighting some more of those doctors we found that someone was trying to sneak past us invisibly.

It turned out to be Dr Davaulus himself, and after we subdued him he confessed to being responsible for the plague, which he referred to as “a work of art” and “a cleansing” of Korvosa. The poor queen has indeed nourished a viper in her bosom.

The doctor carried some sort of key to the lift which sent us down into the cellar where more doctors and some priests of Urgathoa awaited us. Morik blasted an entire room full of them into oblivion with his holy fire, while Balduran was trying to remember which end of his sword went where and Shadow was sneaking around talking to himself. That boy needs to get a grip, that’s for sure.

As we were battling some clerics our arch-enemy Rolth appeared behind us with reinforcements both living and dead. After a fierce battle, where Rolth came close to liberating the doctor and making off with him, we finally managed to force him to flee (after Morik and Sharleena cleverly shrouded him in magical silence and cut off his magic). We’ll have to find him some other day. Right now we have more pressing concerns, like a plague-bringing daemon that the fleeing clerics unleashed at us.

Betrayal, o black betrayal! I am starting to feel the full brunt of the venom of the Snakebite.

But I digress. Our heroes heard a rumor that Old Korvosa was about to be quarantined, which finally put an end to the shady dealings of Devargo Barvasi, just as the quarantine itself would make him harmless.

Although they had learned a few tricks since their last visit, their tactics haven't improved at all, meaning that their idea of subtlety is to refrain from knocking before you burst down the front door. This time they did it dancing.

I kid you not. Sharleena and Shadow danced a reel in front of the astounded crime lord. Nobody knows what they were thinking. Their dancing wasn't much good, but I must admit that they have a certain flair. Devargo smiled as he opened a trapdoor below them, sending Sharleena plummeting into a cargo hold full of spiders and worse.

Morik's fireworks came in handy indeed as did Baldurans strong arm. Sharleena kept on dancing, avoiding the spiders long enough to stay alive, and Shadow, dismayed as Devargo was canny enough not to leave him an opening, hurled a tanglefoot bag at him, trapping the spider lord in his own webs. Poetic justice if I ever saw it.

Eventually they rescued Sharleena and looted the place, while Morik let out the poor little dragon which had somehow survived. Shadow was furious, but that's how it goes if you care more for glory than friends. Morik now has a little friend that he seems to get0 along a lot better with than he does with most humans.

Then Balduran sold his soul to the devil. I have noticed his unhealthy obsession with the law for a while now, but there seems to have been more going on than I dared suspect. A signifer of the Hellknights approached him and offered him initiation in their accursed ranks.

If I had still had a head it would be reeling. Balduran a Hellknight, a mercenary? I could hardly believe it even as they drew the magic diagram and summoned a devil for him to fight. His companions were allowed to help him, and they cast a few spells, but in the meantime the shaggy fiend summoned another of its kind.

The fight was fierce and brutal, the infernal weapons cutting deeply into Balduran's flesh, but he finally managed to overcome it. In disgust or just nonchalance his so-called friends were sipping coffee and chatting as he fought for his life against a fierce hellion. He prevailed of course, and was duly initiated. I wonder what foul plans they have for him. He wasn't given any particular orders at this moment in time, but I'm sure that they will call on him at the least convenient moment.

Not quite on speaking terms after all this rivalry and discord, our heroes decided to finally explore the sunken wreck, it being the best clue to the mysterious plague. Fortified by Morik's magic, they entered the wreck and fought a hag and her shark friend that had taken up residence there.

After slaying the monsters they made some disturbing finds: a magic coffer designed to spread infection, a drowned man in doctor's garb and a ledger that ascribed ownership of the cargo to an R. Davaulus. It seems our doctor has something to answer for.

We took the evidence to Kroft and left the dead guy with the temple of Sarenrae to try to speak with. Kroft thought that we could do well to pay the doctor a visit to ask for some explanations.

What can I say. The usual tactics: front door penetration, was thwarted by a very rude nurse, and devolved into a brawl. We entered the sick room (full of ailing patients) where the doctors started flinging bombs at us with no regard to the sufferers, and four of those Grey harridans fell upon us with sword and bow. This means war, I tell you, if for no other reason that we just committed a capital felony attacking them. Things just started to turn serious. I hope our heroes do so too. This isn't a game anymore.

I should have known that it would get worse. There is something sick going on here, and I don’t mean the plague. The plague is only a symptom of a greater hidden rot, and I sense that that bastard Rolth is at the bottom of it all. But where was I? Ah, yes, the wererats.

They followed the retreating rodents into another cave. A probing tentacle through a crack in the wall and a deep bellowing announced a hungry otygh, but they ignored it since it couldn’t reach them anyways. Suddenly a burly redfurred wererat emerged. It just had to be Girrigz, and sure enough he was a dangerous foe, enhanced with magic. It took them ages to kill him, and in the end I had to manifest and scream at them to use their bloody tanglefoot bags. Fools, the lot of them. I shudder to think what will happen if they run into something really dangerous.

Anyway, they killed Girrigz and made off with the loot, leaving the otygh to rot. The fisherwoman wasn’t all too happy about the carnage, but she was the one to ask for it, so she shouldn’t be complaining. She told us that she and her kin had been watching the yellow-lighted ship sink and that some strange coffers had been floating ashore. They seemed to be full of dead rats and silver coins, but they didn’t smell right, so they kicked it back into the river. She offered to sell us some potions of Water Breathingof dubious provenance at half-price. Balduran balked at trading in stolen merchandise but Sharleena bought one. Morik just learned the spell, so they figuted they’d be good anyway.

They were loitering as usual when a distraught woman, Deyanira Mirukova, a Varisian lass, sought them out and asked them to find her missing brother. The guards couldn’t be bothered of course, just as when my own boy went missing. Her brother is Ruan Mirukova, the famous ocarina player, and he had got a gig at the Carowyn residence in South Shore. But he never returned and when his sister went looking for him she found the place abandoned, doors locked and curtains drawn.

That’s how our heroes found the place too, and there was a sickly smell of death seeping out. As we picked the lock we entered the scene of a massacre. People in fancy dresses were lying in piles on the floor, and some of them were animated as dancing zombies. Soon enough the sick mind behind this twisted pantomime emerged as a crossbow bolt out of nowhere hit Sharleena in the gut.

A strange elf woman, dressed as a harlequin and capering about, ordering the zombies around as she pestered us with crossbow shots and magic, led us on a merry chase around the manor. Finally we cornered her. After we found the only survivor, Ausio Carowyn in the basement, who could confirm that she had crashed his party and killed all the guests (as well as his poor wife) we executed her on the spot. There was no trace of Ruan, however.

Shadow spent a few days about town to find out more about the murderous clown. It turns out that her name was Jolistina, and she was dating a certain Rolth. I have a really bad feeling about what he might be up to. Certainly it will be even worse than murdering nobles and poisoning children. I fear to discover what’s going on in his demented mind.

A proper Chelish gentleman, that doctor, and a consummate professional to boot. I sincerely hope that he'll be able to stop the plague before it ravages our beautiful city even worse. I don't like those Grey Ladies, but I guess that desperate times call for desperate measures.

We managed to catch hold of Kroft as she and the doctor were heading for a private conference. Fortunately we're still allowed to come and go as we please, and even Morik got some leave. It seems that his superiors trust him to use his magic wisely.

So while the doctors dealt with the outbreak, we continued so work as free agents, solving some other issues. Our first assignment was to check out Racker's Alley in Old Korvosa, which was rumored to be used as a dumping ground for bodies. That turned out to be true, but even worse, we were ambushed by some feral vampires as we checked it out. Not only did their touch drain our life force but they could crush your will just by looking at you. It was a hard fight, but finally we put them to rest. The strange thing is that we found some Ustalavian coins in their coffins. What on earth are Ustalavian vampires doing in Korvosa?

It took some time and a good chunk of our savings to recover from the assault of the vampires, but our city still needs us. Ishani, our Vudran friend asked us to check out a purported cure for the red plague. Of course it was a sham, and we put a stop to it, amazingly enough without killing anyone this time. I guess our heroes have grown up or something.

On our way back we ran into some Grey Ladies again. They were going to enforce a quarantaine on an entire block, and the inhabitants didn't like it one bit. The situation was on the verge of getting out of hand, but we managed to talk them out of it, with no help from those Grey Harridans. They may be necessary, but that doesn't mean that I have to like them. They were entirely ready to massacre an entire block of people. Stone-hearted blockheads, the lot of them.

It was after that we heard the bad news. Kester, from the orphanage came and told us that the plague had hit them badly, especially after a certain Rolth had come around and treated the kids to poisoned candy. All the kids that ate were violently ill with the plague. Fortunately many of them were used to saving their treats and Kester and some of the older knew better than to take candy from strangers. Still, a lot of the children are in a bad way.

It seems that Rolth sent his regards. I fail to fathom what kind of a monster uses children to get back at us for trashing his lab. When we catch him, I swear I'll have them tear him limb from limb. He's worse than Lamb, that's for sure.

But we had more pressing matters to attend to. A little fisherwoman who turned out to be a wererat gave us a warning, that one of her kind, some Girrigz guy, was planning a crusade against the surface world. She implied that she might have some useful information, too. So after getting some silver weaponry (which we sorely lacked in the fight against the vampires) we found ourselves down in the sewers, looking for a rogue wererat.

We found a hole in the sewer wall right where the woman said it would be, and Shadow went in. Unfortunately he must have skipped his dungeoneering classes, for he set off a shrieker and soon we were beset with hordes of rats and ratmen. It took all our courage and skill to fight them off.

She made me laugh. In the middle of all the horror we’ve found ourselves in lately, I must admit that Sharleena astonished me. Just as we had found poor Gaekhen’s head she broke out in a long speech that we should bring the entire body back to that stuck-up shaman, who was ungrateful enough to threaten us with war as we were preparing to find his grandson out of the goodness of our hearts. She tried to explain to the others that they should bring back the rest of the body parts as bonus flesh, since that seemed to be what he was concerned with.

Their expressions were priceless. That girl must have some Varisian blood in her, that’s for sure. I’m starting to understand what the cards have been telling me. It’s fortunate that they couldn’t hear me laughing.

Thus fortified we continued to explore the complex and soon enough found Gaekhen’s torso and arm, twitching with some foul magic. It was guarded by another of those blue-skinned freaks, this one evidently a skilled magician, and it took all our strength to defeat it. Morik was able to put the body to rest, but not before he was bopped on the nose by the flailing arm.

We could have returned but there was still an arm missing. We found it in the boarded-up pantry, in the clutches of yet another of those foul creations, some misfit monster stitched together from diverse body parts. I swear that this Rolth shall pay for his transgressions.

Finally we managed to piece the entire body together and emerged out of that hellhole. I’m glad I don’t have a sense of smell anymore. Kroft was grateful enough for our work and promised to deliver the body to the Shoanti.

We had some time to rest and recuperate after that and to spend some of our hard-earned gold. Also we had an unexpected visitor as a young woman whom we had saved out of the pits appeared to gift us a magic wand that she couldn’t use herself. I was touched by her generosity. When we helped the poor wretches out of the pits they looked barely human, but she cleaned up nicely indeed. I hope we may be able to do the same for this poor city.

Then we heard the news that the trial of the king’s assassin was over. Kroft didn’t seem to be too happy about it. It had all been to fast and behind closed doors, and gave no real closure. That’s why she asked us to attend the execution, I guess. Or perhaps she had a hunch that something was going on. Either way she wasn’t telling.

The execution was a grand affair. Lots of toffs. It seemed like everybody who was somebody had been invited, as well as ourselves. The girl seemed close to tears. I guess she’s not a rakshasa after all, or she would have escaped by now. The queen made a short speech, and although she looked ravishing in her green dress trimmed with gold, she didn’t exactly come off as royal. There was something disappointing in her curtness. I had expected more from her.

Then things happened very fast. The executioner clutched his back, where he had taken a dagger. Then Blackjack came swinging onto the scene and cut the girls bonds. I had never seen him before and had almost stopped believing in him. He hadn’t been around since I was a mere girl. But he looked really dashing in his cloak and mask. You couldn’t see his face of course, but you just knew that he had to be handsome.

There was a great commotion and the queen left the scene in a hurry, leaving that Merrin woman to cover her retreat. People were shouting and tripping over each other as Blackjack addressed the crowd. As the executioner was regaining his bearings Sharleena hit him with a Glitterdust, barely missing Blackjack. “Ooops”, she said with a sly smile. Definitely Varisian, that girl, I tell you.

After a short and tumultuous fight Blackjack tumbled past the guards and escaped with the girl, taking his time to salute us before jumping off the wall to safety. I could have sworn that he was looking straight at us, but unfortunately he couldn’t see me, of course. Had I been alive, I would have blushed. Anyway there wasn’t much more for us to do, and soon enough the crowds dispersed. There is a bounty on the eloped assassin, of course, but nobody seemed to have any leads.

Some time thereafter there was a strange sound in the night, and we heard that a ship of very foolish pirates had tried to plunder the town in the guise of darkness. They were promptly put down, of course, but with all the strange things that happened recently there are lots of rumors going about.

Then Grau came looking for us. There’s another one that cleaned up nice indeed. Apparently his niece had taken ill, and he wanted our assistance. The family had a small house at Trail’s End, and it seems that the girl had found a strange coffer on the beach, full of silver that she was happy to spend. Morik cured her and we went looking for the coffer, but there wasn’t much left. Leaving things in Trail’s End is like dropping a dead snake into an anthill.

I was full of evil forebodings, so I thought it was time to consult the cards again. They were grim this time, the Snakebite speaking volumes of impending murder, poison and betrayal.

Speaking of which, we got a note from Vencarlo, calling us urgently to his Academy. Apparently Blackjack had dumped Trinia, the assassin on him. That was awfully inconsiderate of someone supposed to be a hero. He was clearly at his wit’s end (although as charming as always) and begged us to escort her to his contacts in Harse. I still don’t trust that girl, but I would have a hard time saying no to Vencarlo. So did the others.

We managed to get her out of the way rather easily and left her at Harse with some friends of Vencarlo, but on the way back we noticed a number of beggars with red blotches on their faces and hands. This does not bode well.

True enough the Bank of Abadar was positively beleaguered by supplicants, and it was all we could do to get in. There seems to be an epidemy brewing, and the high priests are reticent about their divinations.

Fortunately the queen had taken action and a fairly distraught Kroft was able to introduce us to a gentleman by name of Dr Davaulus, head of the Queen’s Physicians, a contingent of doctors equipped to handle the most virulent of outbreaks and also the Grey Maidens, an elite company of beautiful but grim women to guard the peace. Times are dire, but I am glad that the queen still has the situation in hand.

And I thought Gaedren Lamm was bad... It seems that there are far worse things going on in our fair city than him, literally right under our noses.

After their audience with Devargo our heroes were torn. Shadow had caught the poor pseudodragon's puppy dog eyes and was bent on rescuing it. Balduran was concerned whether Devargo was breaking the law or not (that boy has a serious stick up himself) and Sharleena just wanted to torch the place for drug dealing and general abasement of human dignity. Or maybe she just wanted to torch something. You never know with that girl. I'm sure she has great potential, the cards don't lie. But she has yet to show it. As for Morik he was looking generally unhappy, paid a visit to the orphanage, trying to make himself useful and failing.

Finally they decided to try to take down Devargo. Unfortunately torching the place (especially with a lot of people in it) would most certainly be against the law, so they were a bit unsure about it. They considered to use their standard method, that is to knock on the door to alert the whole place and then rush in and attack anyone standing. Eventually they found that this wasn't a very good idea and quite possibly against the law too, so they dropped the entire plan.

Fortunately the Kroft woman had more work cut out for them. They found her in an audience with a stiff-looking elderly Shoanti with milky eyes, obviously an Oracle of some sort. The Shoanti, whose name was Thousand Bones (not someone you'd want to meet in a dark alley anywhere), explained that his grandson Gaekhen had been killed in a lynch mob. My heart immediately went out to him, after thinking of what happened to my poor Eran. Losing a child is a horrible thing. But worse, after his death his body was stolen before the Shoanti could collect it.

Now, I don’t like the Shoanti much, but I know that there have been people on both sides trying very hard to work out a peaceful coexistence between the Shoanti and us Korvosans, and I learn that this Thousand Bones had been quite the bigwig in those conversations. But the Shoanti believe that if the body isn’t burned properly the spirit can’t go on to the afterlife. Abject superstition, of course, but I can see why they would be upset. There could even be a war if the body is not recovered.

Kroft had found out that the culprit was one Rolth, a failed necromancer bent on some sort of grisly experiments with dead bodies, suspected of murdering vagrants and stealing body parts to build some kind of monster. Just hearing about him sends shivers down my spine. Killing someone in a fit of rage I can understand, and even murder in cold blood, but murdering someone to harvest their organs for some sick experiment, that’s beyond me. That poor kid deserves a better fate than that. More than so, he deserves vengeance.

Fortunately my friends felt the same way I did, so they set out to the Dead Warrens. Kroft and her men had already caught the man who sold the body to Rolth, and found the place where he delivered it, so we had a good trail to go by. We found a trapdoor in an old derelict mausoleum, and found ourselves in some sort of warren guarded by skeletal servants, where some kind of little blue freaks very busying themselves with some sort of experiments. I’m glad than I have a stomach no more, for the very place sickened me to my soul.

On a pile of body parts guarded by one of those sewer-dwelling monsters we made a horrible discovery: the hips and tattooed legs of a young Shoanti male, in all probability Gaekhen’s. At least we had found half of him, but what they had been doing to the rest did not bear thinking about. We fought our way past acid-spitting skulls and dancing skeletal snakes and found some blubbery half-wit of a man guarding a few prison pits, and liberated some poor dejected people, probably being kept for some horribly purpose, Pharasma knows what. We managed to help the poor starving wretches out of that stinking hellhole, and went on searching for Rolth.

On a table we made our next awful discovery. On a table there lay some sort of monstrous creation, a being stitched together from mismatched parts, probably seven feet tall if it were to stand up, and with a head too small for its huge misshapen body that matched Gaekhen’s description. With a tenderness that touched my heart Morik undid the stitches and wrapped poor Gaekhen’s head in a clean piece of cloth, tears trickling down his cheeks as he under his breath called down the wrath of Sarenrae upon the inhuman Rolth and his abominations.

The strangest thing happened. Remember the dagger I told you about, the one I could not identify? It turns out that it was really not a dagger at all and that we may have made a powerful enemy. But I should start at the beginning.

You know, I can’t help wondering what I was thinking when I picked out my heroes. But the cards don’t lie, and they were clearly speaking of great potential in them. It’s hard to believe that, seeing them bumbling around town. These days they are mighty proud of being deputies of the guard, and are walking around all puffed up – or in the case of Shadow, sneaking around. The poor boy can’t even cross a street without getting a panicky look in his eyes, and he insists on moving from shadow to shadow. I really hope that it will be useful some day instead of just annoying.

Anyway, they were loitering about (patrolling, as they insist on calling it), when they came upon a gang of workers that had had a bit too much to drink, I fear. Just your ordinary working men, you know, but come upon hard times and looking for a vent. Me, I would have sent them home with their ears burning, but the lass, Sharleena, she had to go all high and mighty with them. She’s got some notions, that girl, far too big for her head, so it all turned ugly very fast. The men had gotten hold of a young noble, a boy hardly old enough to grow a proper beard, who looked absolutely terrified. The men accused him of being a lackey of the whore queen (I am sorry to say, and had I been alive, I sure would have taught them some manners, but I figured that I’d only cause more trouble if I manifested). Trouble hit soon enough anyway as the leader of the pack, a fat guy with whiskers, exchanged some harsh words with our crew. The fight was short and brutal, and left one man down and bleeding as the others fled. Morik healed his wounds and they sent him packing, as the young man, who turned out to be an apprentice wizard, tossed them a tip for saving his hide. I guess it could come in handy, since money runs through their hands like water. They also took the opportunity to leave the dagger at the Academae to be identified.

But then they got a mission. As they returned to Cressida Kroft, she asked them to help with a delicate mission. It’s a good thing I’m incorporeal, or my giggling would have given me away. There was another reason to giggle like a schoolgirl, besides. There was this man, a bit advanced in age, but handsome as can be and a consummate gentleman. He turned out to be the famous swordsman Vencarlo Orsini, and was acting as a consultant to Kroft. You know the type. Grey hair in a topknot, a really nice silk shirt, tight knickers, showing off his calves, impeccable shoes, and the most charming manner, especially with the ladies. Not that Sharleena is much of a lady. What a waste! They all thought he was nothing but a fop, I’m afraid. They couldn’t be more wrong.

Anyway, what Kroft wanted them to do was to get into Eel’s End, one of the worst hives of scum and villainy that this city has to offer (and there are some to choose from), run by some disgusting punk named Devargo, who keeps his pet spiders crawling all over him. Eel’s End is like a microcosm of filth, a bunch of barges strung together, with a drug den, a brothel and a gambling hall all in one with a bit of murder on top. The thing is that Vencarlo had a hunch that Devargo had the Chelaxian ambassador by the balls, if you pardon my Varisian. He never liked this city, and has been rooting for an embargo for a long time now, and what with the recent trouble, chances are that he might get his way, which would be devastating for Korvosa. I guess I don’t need to tell you how they went about infiltrating the place. Walking right up to the guard and pestering him seems to be their standard tactics. In the end they had to bribe him with 20 gp out of the bag Kroft gave them to bribe Devargo to even get in.

There he was, spiders crawling over his skinny frame, lounging on a wooden contraption supposed to look like a throne. I doubt that I would have been impressed even had I not known his poor mother. There were a bunch of hopeful hooligans crowding at the tables at the other end of the room. Worst of all, he had a miserable little pseudodragon locked into a cramped, filthy cage hanging from the roof. I could see my friends twitch at the sight, but none dared compromise the mission. For some reason they let Sharleena do the talking, with predictable results. Only Devargo didn’t throw them out immediately, but invited them to a game of Knivesies. Basically you tie the contestant’s left hands together, there is one knife and a handful of coins and the last man standing on the table is the winner.

Sharleena went first. She tried to talk her way through it, hoping to mesmerize her opponent. Let’s just say it wasn’t a hit. After she enspelled the dagger her opponent lost his patience and simply pushed her off the table. It was fun to watch though and Devargo certainly enjoyed it. Balduran was less subtle. He just grabbed the knife and punched several holes in his opponent, who then was taken away to feed the spiders. Tough as nails, that boy, when push comes to shove. Shadow was less successful, but impressed Devargo enough for him to try to recruit him, and with a hefty bribe they managed to get their hands on a couple of rather racy incriminating letters that they promptly delivered to Kroft.

As they were making their way back to the Academae a stench of waste hit them as the ground erupted into a mass of tentacles and bad breath. I was impressed at how fast they dispatched the monster, although Shadow spent the better part of the next week coughing and shivering from the monster’s miasma. But the really interesting thing happened at the Academae, as they were greeted by a very embarrassed Amin Jalento (the apprentice). Apparently the dagger was missing. They made quite the scene, until they got the headmaster himself to explain that the dagger was probably some sort of monster, a shapechanging snake used by rakshasas as spies.

I never saw a rakshasa outside of my cards, but I’m given to understand that they are real nasty business. They can change their shape, and they have a lot of patience and all the time in the world. They could be anyone. Kroft maybe, or even the queen. Or the seneschal, who is supposed to be missing. It’s a scary thought. Fortunately it became obvious who the rakshasa was soon enough, as Kroft called for us urgently. The queen had finally found out who murdered the king. Some cheap blonde bimbo by name of Trinia Sabor who had the king wrapped around her little finger. As he was sitting for his portrait, the foul creature was slowly poisoning him. A guard that was in on it admitted as much before he killed himself by jumping off the castle wall.

Kroft had her address and wanted us to go there and bring her in before all hell broke loose. She (and the queen) wanted to be absolutely certain, so that the horrible affair could finally be put to rest. Getting there was no big deal, but the stairs were positively swarming with curious neighbours and when we got to the apartment the door was blocked. Balduran gave it a good kick and we discerned a shape huddled on the bed. It looked suspicious that she would still be asleep after the racket we made, and sure enough, she was already fleeing across the Shingles. The chase was wild and had us climbing towers, jumping between roofs, ducking beneath clotheslines and generally screaming at people to get out of the way. But she had too much of a head start and was obviously skilled at this so she eluded us, and we had to report a dismal failure to Kroft. Worst of all, a rakshasa may still be at large in the city.

I got to see the queen! She was beautiful… like a heavenly vision, even dressed all in black and wearing a heavy veil. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Our heroes insisted of carrying Lamm to justice instead of being practical and feeding him to his own crocodile. The children had to do most of the carrying, and being great kids at heart they took the opportunity of dropping him several times.

As they exited the fishery they immediately noticed that something was wrong. Of course I knew that, but I couldn’t have imagined that the whole city would go crazy so fast. We so seldom want to believe what is written before our very eyes. A griffon rider crashed into a building above, spraying our little party with blood, and shouts were echoing about the queen, on whom opinions were diverse. The kind had finally succumbed to his illness, and some suspected – or pretended to suspect – foul play. Rioting and plundering were going on everywhere and the guard could barely hold things together.

It was decided that the first priority was to get the children to safety, so they left them at the nearest orphanage, with a promise to visit, at which the world-weary children sneered. Then they went to bring Lamm to justice.

On their way they were beset by imps, and Shadow took a few stings, sending him limping the rest of the way. They had a hard time both hitting and hurting these otherworldly pests, but fortunately a small squad of pseudodragons appeared to save their hides.

They passed my house and noticed its condition so I had to manifest and apologize, explaining the situation to them. Fortunately they weren’t mad at me at all. And in truth, what is a girl to do in this world? It’s rough, especially when you’re already dead. I think I did OK, given the circumstances, and so did they, I suppose.

They arrived at the guard station and tried to get them to accept Lamm, but the soldiers had their hands full with more important stuff. So finally they had to feed Lamm to the fishes after all. Oh joy!

After that they were a bit bewildered about what to do, but as they tried to sell their loot they realized that the brooch they found belonged to the queen and went to give it back. An escort took them to the queen who found time even in her grief, to reward them handsomely. Her bodyguard was eyeing us suspiciously all the time. I don’t like that woman.

A spending spree later they reported to Field Marshal Cressida Croft and were accepted as members of the Korvosan Guard, which made Balduran a very happy man, as he felt reinstated. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the watch was stretched impossibly thin and would have accepted any old rabble.

Their first assignment was to catch a deserter by the name of Verik Vancaskerkin, and they of course had to revert to their old tactics and make sure they alerted the whole place before they barged in. This could have ended badly, as Verik turned out to be pretty accurate with his bow, but in the end they managed to catch both him and his men alive.

Verik owned a strange silver dagger and I tried to reckon its powers but I drew a blank. There is something mysterious about that dagger. It could be really, really valuable. Maybe I’ll have to ask the cards about it.

For a while I was unsure that I had picked the right crew for the job as they tried to talk their way into the abandoned fishery, alerting the whole place before Yargin kicked them out.

But things took a turn for the better as they snuck around and picked the lock to Yargin’s office. He managed to summon that mangy cur they keep around and toss a bomb at them, but neither he or the dog was a match for the determined avengers.

Things got more complicated as the urchins got involved, driven by fear of their tormentors to attack their very saviors. Sharleena showed some really impressive moves with the butt of her spear, knocking out several children cold as they tried to approach.

Then Giggles came up from the lower floor and the entire fishery erupted into mayhem as Hookshanks shivved Shadow as the latter was fighting Giggles. But after a short and very dirty fight they managed to bring down the thugs.

With a shudder Shadow recognized Giggles as his mother’s killer. “You should have killed me too”, he hissed as he hacked off the half-orc’s scalp when the latter was bleeding out among the fish-guts on the floor.

They rounded up the orphans and an older lad named Kester agreed to stick around to collect the kids still out on errands. Morik was promising them all a better life at the temple of Sarenrae and after some prodding they reluctantly agreed to give it a try.

More shenanigans ensued as they tried to find their way around to Lamm’s hideout. The kids told them that there was a boat but forgot to take into account that the boards weren’t in any shape to support armoured men. Morik took a quick dip and was accosted by a shark. Fortunately they got him up before it could do any real damage. Again I felt doubtful about my choice of champions, but hopefully they’ll learn. They are all so very young.

Finally they were able to approach Lamm himself. The old bastard put up quite the fight, hitting them in all kinds of sensitive spots before they finally brought him down. After a brief debate they decided to bring him to justice, mainly because Balduran was determined to have his name cleared. I fail to see what’s wrong with feeding Lamm piecemeal to his alligator, but I guess that’s just me.

They found my head and my precious cards, and were making their way to the temple with their prisoners and retinue of orphans when they realized that something was very wrong with the city.

Gaedren Lamm killed my baby. That’s what all this used to be about. Not any more though. Being dead kind of gives you a larger perspective. The city is speaking to me now. It’s always been speaking to me, but since I was relieved of my body, I have become part of it in a way I scarcely thought possible.

There is a great evil brewing in my beloved Korvosa. I do not know what it is, but I’ve seen it in the cards. There is a wrongness in the air. I always felt it, but now I am part of it. Gaedrem Lamm is just a small boil on the body of the city, a sign of the festering corruption inside. Fortunately the cards led me to my champions. They are not aware of it yet, but they will be my saviors.

There is Sharleena, the Unicorn, a young girl full of swagger and fighting spirit. Gaedren Lamm got her hooked on drugs in her teens, but she recovered and now she seeks redemption through justice.

Then there is Morik, the Midwife, a priest who dreams of a fiery rebirth. Orphaned early he managed to escape from Lamm’s clutches to the temple of Sarenrae. Now he seeks to save others as he himself was saved.

And then Balduran, the Paladin, a young warrior with a pure heart. He was kicked out of the Korvosan Guard on a false accusation when he crossed Lamm’s machinations and burns with ardor to clear his name and regain his honor.

Finally there is Shadow, the Desert, a haunted hero, a half-orc who speaks to his shadow. After both his parents were murdered he withdrew from human contact. Now he seeks his father’s killer, a half-orc with a distinctive scar.

It took time to find them all but eventually I did. Now I will plunge them as knives deep into the hunched back of that hateful scum that is Gaedren Lamm. I shall have my vengeance, in this world or the next.