Zanzibari's page

Does the grave look dug? Does it seem to be just a matter of lob in the stiff and cover it up by pushing in the heap of dirt? How long would it take to bury this dude if Puku(and maybe Der Shrecken) hekped Mel? Maybe while the others gathered suppplies for an immediate evac?

Or follow the dang noise to see where the bast@rd goes...

To be specific, Puku wants to try and shoot the fly harbinger, (if its not just a noise) if he can pinpoint/anticipate its whereabouts...

V's alias was "Marmaduke Monoclops", of the Absolom Monoclopses and son of Mannfred Monoclops, a rube what done fell fool to the wiles of E.V himself...

Whatever became of our herd of cattle?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah tu meke!

Totally couldnt contain my urge to type some trash...just disregard it if its conflicting with yer sh!t...

Woah! 11 13 12 18 17 13

asmodeus guide my hand!
4d6 ⇒ (1, 2, 4, 5) = 12 4d6 ⇒ (5, 2, 6, 1) = 14 4d6 ⇒ (3, 1, 5, 4) = 13 4d6 ⇒ (6, 6, 6, 4) = 22 4d6 ⇒ (5, 6, 6, 2) = 19 4d6 ⇒ (6, 2, 1, 5) = 14

I shall roll soon!

The pool of magic grease appeared to have soiled the finerys of the Rouge Ladies' parlour, but the green ooze shimmered and smoked, and left no trace as it soon dissapated.

Coco then wasted no time bounding in to the room and adressing the cowering wretch within. "Get out from behind the desk you little creep!" There was a small struggle then out she marched with a short gnome with greasy black hair and dark sunglasses, who whimpered piteously as Coco bent his right arm around his back and pulled hard his left ear.

She threw him to the floor in the main lounge and he slipped and fell into the gore and wreckage of his late comrades' corpses.
"What the fuk do you think you're doing coming here with those thugs eh? You fuk king look at me boy or I'll tear out your fuk ken heart!" Growled the wild, bloodsoaked Hobbit.
Clambering about to get to his feet amongst the blood, the gnome looked to Coco with a panicked countenance.

Coco rolls for Intimidate! 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (17) + 6 = 23

"Hey are we gonna get a feed?" Puku asks of Paladin-Sergeant Uplifting-the-masses Frewen.

"Keen bro, magic ring!" Puku takes the ring of protection and clambers up out of the hole, prefering the moonlit countryside to the stuffy claustrophobia of Nana's cellar.
"Reckon we should pobly split eh, theres naught but evil here and while the sun is down we all susceptible as to its vile mischief."

Ko scrutinizes the mysterious mountebank...
E.V rolls for Dip 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (8) + 10 = 18

Surreptitiously Eustace produced his fine ivory smoking pipe from within the folds of his sleeve. He put the pipe to his lips and with a click of his fingers he had a flame with which to smoke. He held Ko's gaze for a few moments then exhaled a collosol blue cloud.

The dandy Manorc then prestidigitated the rolling cloud into the shape of a Moa and jockey, and with a profane utterance cast ghostsound .

"...and its Ko on his golden Moa, racing through the checkered flag to become Woodenheads choicest dude ever! Hip hoorah!" Echoed an official voice over the distant sound of a small crowd cheering.

"Im looking to start up a Moa racing club, Im going need some help to get some birds into shape. Shall probably have to start by getting some eggs." Vizigog stated to the boy, " If you're interested, you can show what makes a bird into a good racer."

Puku lay still in the back of the wagon, the blood from his grevious wounds covered him like a black mourning shroud. As the healing energy flowed from Orna, she saw the gush of ichor from Pukus brutal neck wound subside. The meat within the wound seemed to stitch itself together like grasping fingers and the big Orc stirred. He gurgled defiantly from the bloody ruin of his mouth but soon lapsed back into unconciousness.

-10+5=-5 -5 HP for the one tusker

Puku has a pot CLW on his person, would Orna use it on him? Possibly? What would be the thing to do?

Puku would still have his bow coz he put it away when he climbed the cliff, then he got out his axe. So he woulda only lost that right?

I imagine Orna will zap Puku with heals? Which ones and how much HP back?

"Ah the females, yes, very fine beasts to be sure." Vizigog mused "My compatriots and I have just been up to Opukokino and back with the good ranger Idris. We showed those blackgaurds a thing or two i tell you!"

"But, good Hoiho, I digress, while adventuring about in this magnificent forest, I have seen some amazing feats of dexterity and grace done with ease by the riders of these Moa. Which is breathtaking I assure you, but Hoiho, I wonder, how well can these Birds perform on the flat, on a plain for example?"

"Can they manage speed for lengths of time I wonder?"

"Hey need a helps fulla?" Puku enquires of the old pillick.

Though Puku may have never seen an actual sheep before he's only too eager to try and handle these animals. More to favor this Elder chap than to speed the wagon along.
He's gonna ascertain wether the old man would welcome help before he just jumps in. A big fat Orc could just scatter all the idiotic sheeps to all points...

"Ho ho! There's nothing wrong with her at all, she says your mate here was playing a trick on you! Ho ho!" He chuckles.

"Many thanks, noble young warriors!" Vizigog hands them another copper each. " Now run along, Im sure there is much adventure awaiting young bloods such as yourselves."

Vizigog turns now to address the beastmaster Hoiho.

"Noble Mr Hoiho I presume, master of these fine Moa, I am Vizigog, humble adventurer and entrepeneur. It is a fine honour indeed to make your aquaintance."

Roll for diplomacy 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (19) + 10 = 29

"Im extremely interested in these Birds of yours..."

1d20 - 1 ⇒ (8) - 1 = 7
Puku's jaw drops as he struggles to comprehend the sheer power of Orna's words.
"Aue! We ARE all energy eh! It flows through us bro..."
Sharply the Pounamu hued brute elbows Kat in the ribs to emphasize his profound realisation
"...Binds us eh! Cant you feel it around us? Between you, me, the rock, the tree! Yes, even the horse and the cart!"
He reclines back againts a sack of Kumaras and stares into the cloudy grey sky...
"Luminous beings are we...."

Eustace Vizigog casts Ghost Sound on the Moas
1d20 + 8 ⇒ (17) + 8 = 25 Spellcraft check
For the remaining decades of his life, Junior Tamete swore that his Moa turned to him and said in fluent Korero,
"C'mon Cuz, lets go back to Hoiho! Gonna have a mean as feed eh!Seeds and sshit"

Puku wrinkles his wrinkled nose at the pungent bar of oatmeal soap.
"Thanks Leyslands, what a kind gesture bro." after a moment of confused blinking, Puku placed the soap in his rucksack and gathered his kit.
He took a moment to admire the beautifully carved wooden wolf that he'd scored at Maleks place. The artifact was so precise in detail, so lifelike that Puku imagined that at any moment it would leap from his hands to freedom.
Puku considers CRAFT: Woodcarving
After a minute the ManOrc stood up and with a cheerful grimace he he bellowed out excitedly.
"Hey Leyslands, where's we gonna do some Mangeres Bro!?"

While Im intrigued as to the nature of the grand theft poultry, RPGwise, Vizigog wouldnt care a fig. No offense.
"Yes, yes, the day to day skullduggery that happens amongst you natives is none of my business thank you very much!" Dismissed Vizigog with a wave of his hand, "Where my business does lie, methinks, is with this Hoiho character. Pray lead me too him, oh swift and brave young warriors!"

"Well Prof, it seems like a good slice of justice pie has been served hot this day!"
Vizigog flipped the PP into the air where it vanished with a pink flash.
"Reckon you should have a good pow-wow with this miserable bint that we kidnapped, maybe old Idris the Eagle too. As for me, well Ive the sorry task of offloading all this junk, so pray sir point me to the local gem dealer and I shall waste no more of your precious pondering minutes. Promise I'll be back in a bit! Tirrah!"
Vizigog stalks off with the sack of swag, "C'mon Benzo perhaps they've in stock some of them fancy nunchuckers that you love so much!"
What the fudge is that slack Sherrif up to? Does that layabout ever get back to Woodenhead?

Funnily enough, this week I mysteriously hurt my teste! Aw dats Matrix!
Puku's eyes bulge out of his head with glee at the magic arrows. To the Wetawhakawi, the gift of a weapon suggests the forging of a noble kinship,
"WOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRHHHHH! CHOOOOOoooooOOOOICE BRO!"
From his jacket he pulls his hunting blade and slashes a small cut in his off hand, proffering it to Owlsbane to seal the bond in blood, such is the way of his Iwi .
Smiling from ear to ear, crooked tusks that seem to be trying to escape his craw, Puku bulges bodily towards Haplo, bloodied hand like a hamhock extended towards the Hobbits face
Puku would also like to talk to the Chef and the Lady what smashed his nuts. Make peace with them and waggle eyebrows etc. Also hes gonna look around for the kid that cut the rope etc and have a word perhaps.

Puku feels the warmth of glory fill his heart for the first time in what seems like an age. By helping these smallfolk he has indeed gained much personal mana. Though none of his kin are here to recognise his spiritual acheivement, he feels the same swell of pride nonetheless.
PUKU takes a level of BRABARIAN!
Gain 13hp like the farken boss! total of 28 now boi!
Gains Uncanny dodge
Gains Rage Power: Superstition
Take the 1 skill point for favored class...
+1 to Climb
Puku helps Strongbottom to wrangle some of the fat pigs for the splendid feast. One huge fat Sow, obviously tipsy on windfall apples, charges at Puku. With graceful aplomb the ManOrc slides on the mud and grabs the ears of the large animal, effortlessly pinning the great beast in the mud
+1 to Handle Animal
+1 to Know Nature
+1 to Perception
+1 to Survival
Puku also gets 2 additional rounds of Rage

"So, does Grandad have any more sagacity to imbue or can we spend some cash?" Queried Vizigog, whilst shining a PP on the sleeve of his fine new blue silk blouse.

"Also Proffesser, what the deuce is up with them legs? One has the distinct recollection that you were once indeed, with all due respect of course, a raspberry ripple! This appears to be quite the recovery sirrah! Pray, tell us of your remarkable rejuvenation." Spouted Vizigog incessantly.

If the river was handy, why dig a well at all?

As i had thought, in that case...

With a sceptical wrinkle of his pug nose, Puku places the bucket on the lip of the well.

"I smell no taint in this water cuz, why dont you have a Magic at it, if you reckon its patu."

Puku is keeping the Hobbits away from the bucket while he gathers up the well rope (Still attached at either end.)

Oh I mean the local Cooper! HA oh what you must think of me!

How far is the River from Oldtree? Surely Puku would have some idea of in which direction it ran in comparison to the village...
"Dont worry little Fullas, but Somebody might have chucked somethink stink in your well eh!"

Puku draws his skinning dagger from his jacket and with a slash severs the rope. He then proceeds to wind up the rope around the bucket.

"Yous arent gonna go thirsty though, I'll go get a few barrels of water from the river eh!"

I assume theres some old barrels in the inn or do i need to go look for the local chandler?

"The Water's poisened? Ho! Outofit!" Puku ambles through the small throng of Hobbit Housemarms and over to the Well. He deftly reaches over and grabs the Wells rope.

Orna continues to prattle florid words of warning to the little women and as she does so Puku pulls the bucket up from the Well.

Can Puku inspect the bucket with a sniff and try Knowledge: Nature(3), Survival(5) and/or Perception(5) to identify if the water is tainted? Without drinking any of course.

Also, from the swag sack, Vernon takes a look at the MW longbow what we nicked, He attaches the bowstring and pulls the weapon. "Not bad." He grunts and replaces his light crossbow, also taking the 20 arrows.

Vizigog approaches the Prof who is doing jumping jacks and flexing his calf muscles "Check this out Doc, a real dinky-di thralmasaurian amulet!"
What does Crowley have to say about the Sehedron amulet?

alright i change my post..."Vizigog tells the Proffesser what happened." ......better?

Could you once again tell me the exact amount of coin what we found in the chest?

Professer Crowley lead the group back to his lodgings, A fine Darkwood Whare with huge carved and jagged crossbeams.

He hovered on his disc over to a throne carved out of a large log, and with sudden gesticulations and a loud clap the Prof conjured a magical poltergeist who started brewing tea for the weary travellers.

Lambert dissapeared inside the whare and Baasa stretched out in the sun to bask. Prof. Crowley looked to the large Ape "Galadriels grace how big he's gotten!"

Benzo strolled over to investigate a garden of herbs and flowers while Vizigog tapped his pipe out on a rock he was sitting upon. The Manorc packed his cone and took a big hoon.

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

He blew out a blue cloud of smoke that became a creeping taniwha, slinking along and blowing out its own mini smoke rings.

"Here begins the tale , oh generous host," Said Eustace, his eyes glowing like red coals "...of thassilonian mystery and horror!"

He recounts the tale i guess and have we got Idris with us?

Turn back time a smidge... Puku watched as his tribemates walked of into the bush, Shinise looked back and blew Puku a big smootch. The Barbarian deflated with a huge sigh, and hoped that Crom let him see them again one day.
After too long the Noble Savage emerged again from the treeline and after spotting a cart slowly trundling by he made a beeline for it.
"Hello there, Good Puku, My sincerest grief for the loss of you friend. He walks amongst the Gods now." Eloise greeted Puku with a warmth that eased the Orcs' very being.
"Thanks misses." Puku jumped onto the back of the cart and sat down crosslegged amongst the tangle of canvas tent.
"Where ever are we headed to now?" Questioned the other skinny Girl, Kat.
"I gotta go back to town," Said Puku firmly "Gotta go see my lady eh."

Vizigog sat 'neath a strange bowered tree. Its white trunk swept up like a frozen dervish to a lush canopy of thick green and berries. The ManOrc seemed enthralled by the shimmer of gold his coins made as they revolved on his fingertipss. He meticulously began counting the hoard for what seemed like the third time today.
From nearby came a hootin and a hollerin and before long a pair of small boys came rollicking into view clutching the feathers of the two nimble young Moa the were astride.
"Maserati's choice to look at alright, but Bettina's the fastest. Its true man" shouted One green haired young fella
The other lad raced the other Moa up to his mates, "For real bro!"
Vizigog couldnt help but notice the grace and fluidity of the running Moa. "Such swift and beautiful birds," Pondered the ManOrc "Would surely be valuable to some such ninny..."
The Boys raced the Gallant Moa around the wide Kumara patch, Vizigog stepped out from under the tree and cheered lustily for the lap winning lad. They both raced past Vizigog with a feathered flash, but circled around to address the sorcerer as he adjusted his mighty headdress.
"You fullas are from overseas eh?" Questioned one of the boys.
"Not at all my freind," Answered Vizigog with a flourish "Im a native to these lands just as you are! Why, we're practically kin!"
The green headed boy looked to his pal with a puzzled look.
"Tell me lads, You breed these animals yes? Where does the tribe keep all their lovely birds?"

I usually feel tired when i get punched too, isnt it generally what happens?

Puku stretched out on the flat bed of the wagon, though he was exhausted from the last few days of horror, he was still unable to sleep...transfixed instead on the grey clouds above, and where indeed Moekuri's words of "Destiny" would lead him...

A mere sentence so I can find this thread a bit easier....not necassarily canon if there's more filling to be filled

Oh sure I'll wear it, It was in the sack with the thousands of coins...I guess I'll give back my Kiwi Kids Kloak of Resistance then, as i imagine dey dont stack.

"Tsuto's the turkey we got tied up right? We gotta get some of these bozos back to town for a hefty reward sez I." Remarked Vizigog after digesting the lengthy exposition. "Might as well take the head of that pretty cooze too...for dramatic effect."

With one leathery hand Vernon rolls a cigarette and places it twixt his thin crusted lips. He strikes a match and as he lifts it to his craw it flares suddenly and blinds the old bugger. When the spots clear from his eyes he sees Vizigog closely examining some intricate heathen carvings, the Orc seems to be muttering in some vile tongue.
"Whatch ye found over there Greenback? Some treas' to pry out of the wall?" Vernon lit his cigarette again and deeply inhaled.
Vizigogs head twists around on his shoulders a full 360 degrees, all the while still chanting and eyes all ablaze with some distant fire.
Vernon gasps and the cig dissappears into his throat, causing him to hack and cough till the sodden durry is spat out onto the flagstones.
"Croms ballbags!"
"What is it cobber?" Says a seemingly calm Vizigog as he places a hand on Vernons shoulder, "Time to give up smoking?" With a prestidigtating flourish the cigarette (Now dry) appears in the Manorcs hand and he places it back in Vernons agape mouth.
The Sorceror chuckles and winks at his friend then strolls off whistling a jaunty tune.
Eustace Vizigog takes another level of Sorceror!
Gains +1 Reflex and Fortitude
Gains 1 more level 1 spell per day
Gains spells Protection from good(kinda useless but oh well) and Charm Person (lock up your womenfolk!)
Gains ranks in Swim, Perception and Knowledge Arcana
Gains Infernal Resistance: +2 Fort vs Poison, and resist fire 5! Splendid!
Roll for Hp 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6
I guess I'll pop the Favoured class point into Hp giving him a nice 7 additional hp.
Oh and last but not least 1 attribute point for Charisma making it now a gorgeous 19, I guess thats when the dog ripped off the midriff of his robe, revealing a exquisate symetrical 6 pack
Choice Joyce!

*I dont think they bought it Benzo!*

Vizigog eyes glow with a menacing ruby hue as he shakes his 3 tikis also, "Friend, Ive had a really unsatisfactory evening thus far, and if you dont get yourself vanished this instant, you've seen your last sunset, you savvy?"
1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13
oh hey how long does that spell Lambert cast on VZG last? was it resistance?

Vizigog gently grabs one of the Shamans ears and leans in close to his tattooed face "Tell me of this interloping woman, who is she? Where did she come from?"
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (19) + 9 = 28
"Can you take us to korero with your Chief, and can you promise no harm will befall us?" Purrs the Manorc

Vizigog rolls for HP...Sorcerer d6 +3 Constitution
1d6 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8
Yussssssssss!

"Hmm, I'll take the Obscuring mist scroll my good man! Shant be too hard to figure out this religious mumbo jumbo I imagine."
I shall update change the loot sheet appropriately

"Since the Duringar haul came in I've been able to expand my selection"

Its actually "Druingar"...soz to nit pick.

"Ooh mirror image! Loves it! We could always benefit from some more me's around wouldnt you say Benzo? How much for the scrolls good sir?"

Earlier that day, our heros travel to the Woodenhead Shoppe, Proprieter non other than Brickasnurd Hildrensocks

Vizigog shall try an appraise check, 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9

Check out the Loot.Doc to see what we selling