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"Thas it! Khonnir's lass or not, ye dinnae touch a dwarf's beard!" Vallan roars. He flings his head forward so fast that he nearly gets whiplash, and sends the helmet flying from his head with Thisstle still gripping it. The goblin releases the antlers midflight, and dives into a graceful roll, coming up on her feet as the helmet tumbles away. She growls and turns towards the dwarf. Vallan draws his sap and says, "By Gorum's bloody b+*@~!+s, WILL YE FIGHT!?"
Vallan whirls about in a circle, hands pinwheeling around his head as he tries to grab ahold of Thisstle. "Gerrofmeh, ye bloody wee devil!" The goblin is too fast by half for Vallan, and he can't grab her as she hops back and forth from one antler to the other, tilting him this way and that with her weight. "No way in all the hells that I'm adventurin' with no bleedin' gobbo c*&&!"
"Call me shortshanks again...." Vallan says, flipping up his visor to glare at the goblin. "Khonnir was all fecked afore we even arived, lass. Naught to do fer it, ye ken?" The dwarf makes to walk around the blueish goblin. "Get out o me way, I got drinkin' tae do."
Vallan crosses his arms over his chest and shuffles a little closer. "Aye, what's it to ye?"
Vallan makes a beeline for the Foundry. "Need a drink," he says by way of explanation to the others. As he clomps his way towards the pub, he sees a hideous little goblin sitting on a barrel outside. He stares at her suspiciously. Aint that the wee gobbin lass what works for Khonnir? Heard she's a real c~%*..
"Me spell's still goin. I'll continue on!" Vallan says, wasting no time. He rushes further into the cave to see what's around the corner.
Vallan sinks up to his needs in the sand, as unseen tentacles draw him in. "Bloody s*!#e with chunks o' corn! Get your f&&#ing perveted grabbers off me!" he shouts, trying to hit the Ghelarn again with his greatsword but failing spectacularly. Ooh, so cold and slimy. Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
Vallan rushes towards the Ghelarn, and swings his wavy blade at its exposed squishiness. He calls on the power of Gorum as he does so, coating himself in a gory shell of power. His sword slices deeply into the beast.
Vallan runs into the room, and straight for the closest blob. "GORRUUMMMMMmmmmmmmmm!" he shouts, swinging his greatsword at the pustule critter.
It's cool bro, did that myself the other week.
Vallan moves to one of the interior doors and attempts to open it.
Vallan, unable to reach the combat again, instead calls for Gorum to bless Groog. A spurt of "blood" erupts from his blade to coat the barbarian and lend him the strength of the Lord in Iron.
Vallan picks up his sword and scrambles to his feet, feeling dizzy. He reaches up and straightens his helmet which was displaced by the plant-man's hammer. "Wha happened?!" he demands, looking about rapidly. He still sees the vine ridden bastard waving his magical hammer about, and growls in anger. I'll get you, you broccoli buttocksed barley brain!
Vallan cries out in pain as his skull cracks through his helmet. He then says, "Gorum, keep me goin!" and swings his sword at the chieftain.
Vallan fumbles once again, slipping and sliding on the wet floor.
"More feckin' fungus laddies in here, ye ken!?" Vallan roars, twirling on a heel and swinging his flamberge again. He slips on the wet floor, skidding out and nearly falling over. He breaks into a high speed stream of dwarven curses, which for those in the know seem to be describing the Vegipygmies as the various intestinal parasites of inbred, mentally handicapped mountain goats.
Vallan is stymied by Snow and Bonnie taking all the good battle positions, so he tears around the corner, seeing Dahlia retreat. He finds another Vegipygmie there and swings his flamberge at it.
Vallan steps towards the pygmies, screaming a battle cry! "GORRUUUUUMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!" He calls on power of the Lord in Iron to coat himself again in gore and glorious power. The spell streams forth from his blade just before the warpriest swings his serpentine blade at the fungus man.
Just in case Snow's savagery hasn't quite put the plant to ground yet, Vallan chops it cleanly in half with a second slice of his flamberge. "That's more like it!"
Vallan charges the plant, yelling at it. "Ye stink and ye're stupid!" Typical to form, he stumbles on some debris, and hits the floor instead of the plant. I'm trying, Gorum! Sorry!
Vallan opens a door, which leads into another hallway. He then sees two more sets of doors, and goes to try to open the furthest set. "Can't be too many more rooms in here..." he mutters.
How does the gambling work?
Vallan makes sure that the smith crafts a proper sword to replace Groog's primitive long-axe. He has her make the orc a falchion of exquisite balance and heft. Oooh! This will be great once we get Groog's power behind it!
F that, Groogbank it is. Or just carry it myself, since I'm already wearing plate, and I'm a dwarf.
I guess Groog is probably like half as secure as a bank...or something.
I have 400some left. Can I carry that in platinum, or store it in a bank or safe or something Crusty?
Let's get Groog a greatsword or falchion to take advantage of all the 19s he rolls. I'm at work, will be home in a few hours.
By the end of their rest period, Vallan is outfitted with a brand new flamberge of masterfully crafted quality, and a suit of spike plate mail that leaves the dwarf encased in steel from the top of his head to the bottom of his boots. He looks like a miniature, fatter version of the idols of Gorum that one somtimes sees at his "temples". "Gambling can wait for our triumphant return in my book! Let's get back tae battling aliens and robots! Maybe we can find a cure for whatever ails Khonnir."
Vallan makes sure to take a hearty squeeze of Dolga's rear when she hugs him, and gives her an exaggerated wink. He then takes up Khonnir on his offer of free drink and food at the Foundry, insisting the others come along so they can discuss their next moves. He leaves the technological items with Khonnir, asking him to please identify them for the group. Then he has a couple of beers and a meal. "So, Dahlia, you fancy going to talk to this Otterbie lass? Seems like you'd be best suited of all of us. Groog would smash her, Bonnie would talk to her house, I'd offend her, and Hoots would tell her about his cloaca. You're the only one with a lick o' socialness in ye," Vallan says to the young sorceress. "Once we've ascertained how much money we have, we can split the proceeds, gear up, and go finish the job. Yeah?"
Vallan collects the oddities, and stuffs them in the bag. "We can figger out what these do back in town," he proclaims.
"It's only fourty feet. He kin hold 'is breath for that long I imagine," Vallan replies. He helps the wizard over to the backpack, and retrieves it for him. "This yours, Khonnie?"
"Let's get him back tae Kyte, and collect our reward. He needs treatment, and his daughter needs him. We can get some better gear and come back tae finish the job after," Vallan suggests. He helps Khonnir to his feet, steadying him with an arm around his waist. "C'mon, Khonnie, lad. Time ta go home."
"Khonnir, mate! Nae!" Vallan says, rushing to crouch next to the man. He might not be able to completely restore the wizard, but he can heal some of his wounds at least. "Dahlia, the wand!"
Me and Crusty are chillin' in Roll20
Vallan uses the black access card to unlock the container. Then he presses the panel to open it.
Vallan follows Groog, and takes some time to fully examine the machine from which the muffled sounds are coming.
Vallan tries to help Groog take down the killer doc-bot!
Vallan moves through the door after Groog opens it. He rushes the robot, and says to Hoots, "Help me grab it." After the bird interferes, he tries to grab the doctor.
Vallan charges the medical bot that Groog hit, adding his own slash to the machine.
Vallan calls on the power of Gorum. "This place is full of deadly opponents, and damned robots. Be on your guards!"
Vallan is heartened to see that Groog has already destroyed part of the machine. "Good smash, Groog!" he calls encouragingly. Bloody bright light, kinnae see what I'm doing! He squints hard against the bright lights, and manages to make a decent swing at the robot in front of him. His sword cuts a furrow in its metallic body, sending sparks flying. |
