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On the ground near the postern gate, Udo head butts a thrall in the belly, knocking the wind out of him! He bashes another thrall with his wooden round shield, knocking him senseless! GLOIN! LOOK OUT! he roars in warning to his nearby blacksmith friend as a thrall sneaks up on the dwarf...
NEIN!! NEIN!! YOU NINCOMPOOP! LIKE ZIS!! *KERPLOP!!* OOF!! VAIT A SECOND... I SLIPPED ZAT TIME... *KERSMAAAAASSSHHH!!!!* JAAAAA!! I DID IT!! The rotund Udo bursts the door into smithereens as he barrels through like a miniature bull!
YOUCH!! SHTOP PULLING MEIN BEARD, YE DAFT BASTARD!! Dragged along at faster than he’s accustomed to speed by his beard by Gloin, Udo stomps after his fellow dwarf, vaulting out the window as well for falling damage! He lands atop Gloin, pinning his fellow dwarf beneath his considerable girth!
Udo ties one end of the silk comforter rope to the post of the giant harem bed and tests it to make sure it is secure... Ja! Dis vill hold!
Ja! Ja! Some beer vould be wery much appreciated! I am Udo Bierschlauffer von Zwergerreich Unter den Bergen! Hahaha! Pleased to meet you!
Finally, there is Udo, another dwarf from the Kingdom Under the Mountain, captured along with his kinsman Gloin... Udo is a fat dwarf, as big around as he is tall, armed with a greataxe and clad in chain shirt...
Seeing his friend crushed by the merciless coils of the Croaker in the Mangrove, Udo roared a furious Dwarvish battle cry before charging headlong to his death in the monster's slavering maw!
Fudge is no meal, elf!
Udo coughs and waves away the smoke from Remy's cigarette.... *Cough! Cough!* No monster will be that Frenchman's death! He'll die of black lung, he will! The Dwarven stone lord searches the blood-splattered room for anything of value.... Aren't we due for a meal break soon? All this monster butchery raises an appetite!
They are the food!!! We are the hunters!!! I could really sink my teeth into a succulent roasted boar right now, though.... With the crispy fat cracklings.... And the glaze.... And wash it down with some good beer, yes!!
After nine steins of elf-brewed beer, Udo is ready to show off his moves.... Stumbling up onto a long table in the castle's festhaus, cheered on by Plad and other graduates of the Jaeger League, he begins to shuffle, tap and spin in a surprisingly deft manner for one so short, rotund, and drunk....
In German: This is a glorious day, mine companions! We have the trials passed! Let us much beer consume in celebration! Dances of the dwarves I will show you.... But first, drink we must! |
