The ə!'s page

WandaVision officially premieres January 15th, 2021. (Twitter announcement)

Thought for the day: Doom Scroll sounds like an F-list DC villain. Like, he shows up in the background of one scene where the Joker is talking to thugs and all the hardcore nerds flip out and start speculating about a Doom Scroll movie...

He sounds like a malfunctioning DoomBot¹ who shows up in Marvel comic panels, remaining unnoticed² by the comic characters as he/it starts applying cheesy WordArt effects to their word balloons and the narrator's text boxes.

¹ Or a Doctor Bong-bot from Howard the Duck.

² Exceptions include She-Hulk, Deadpool, Gwenpool, and one of Squirrel Girl's squirrels.

Edit: Hell, draw Doom Scroll in a psuedo-Sergio Aragones-style (especially so it clashes with the rest of the comic's art) and let him be able to travel between panels/scenes and get up to inconsequential goofiness via the comic margins, like the classic Aragones doodles in the margins of Mad magazine.

Mistakes may have been made.

I offhandedly introduced my overly dramatic teenagers to the interrobang. What have I done‽

Teenagers exposed to grammar radiation sounds like an origin story.

Gnaborretni (⸘) sounds like a wizard's name. Or a Mafia family of gnocchi smugglers.

583. A mere two years after his expulsion from the comics industry, Rob Liefeld is arrested, tried, convicted, and sentenced to Life + 199 years for racketeering and the manufacture & distribution of illegal mutagenic steroids. Government-funded research will continue for the next three decades+ in an ultimately futile attempt to cure the hundreds of thousands of Youngblood: The Next Blood Youngening #0 Ashcan Prismatic-Foil Cover readers illegally-dosed with these substances through skin contact with the comic ink.

In 2008, Michael Bay releases a documentary, Pain & Gain, chronicling the ongoing suffering and social stigma of Liefeld's steroid victims as they attempt to live normal lives feetless, with giant barrel chests perched on cantilevered spines, and covered in thousands of epidermal flesh pockets. Bay finds the documentary experience earth-shattering, renounces Hollywood film-making entirely, cosplays as a Steinway piano, and deliberately falls off a building to fatally crush Adam Sandler.

quibblemuch wrote:

Well, then you're definitely not going to want to see this historic Monkey Santa Throwback Thursday.

Wouldn't that be, "Baboonrishnikov"?

Ordinarily, you'd be correct. But one of my SchwaBeams® ricocheted unexpectedly off the cursed Trenchant Tangerine of Thanatotic Tinnitus and accidentally silenced that poor, innocent "N". {hangs head in shame}

Freehold DM wrote:

I am reflective, but naked.

So you're duct tape?

Nah, he's just wearing duct tape. The wife hid his supersuit, so he had to improvise when Danger™ appeared.

I blame Cosmo that Paizo's furious pace of packing tens of thousands of Starfinder orders means it is increasingly likely that at least one worker in the warehouse will become a Hulk.

I better be in it, or someone at Marvel will be eater!

If you're looking for suggestions, I'd recommend Joe Quesada and Ike Perlmutter.

Well, the unconfirmed but widely reported rumor is DC/WB have already spent over $25M in Justice League reshoots with Whedon behind the camera, and they aren't done yet.

In another reality, Cavill UnMoustache is probably a The Tick or Grant Morrison-era Doom Patrol villain.

{squints suspiciously}

John Napier 698 wrote:

Thanks. I had a bit of a nightmare, last night. I dreamt that I stopped posting for a week, and when I came back, nobody remembered who I was. *shudder*

Martha!?!

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?

The ə! wrote:

Digitalelf wrote:

The people who are really "hard core" believers in the Mandela Effect, blame the CERN Large Hadron Collider and Quantum computers for punching holes in the fabric of reality.

At this point, it's much more likely to be the CW's Barry Allen and/or Rip Hunter.

Nah, it's Superboy Prime punching reality so hard he changes the universe. :v

Can Superboy punch the CW's Barry Allen hard enough that he drops the idiot ball?

The people who are really "hard core" believers in the Mandela Effect, blame the CERN Large Hadron Collider and Quantum computers for punching holes in the fabric of reality.

At this point, it's much more likely to be the CW's Barry Allen and/or Rip Hunter.

Is that how you get ants, Barry?

Yes it is, Other Barry.

I now wonder if this Barry (or Other Barry) would be less awful, just as awful, or more awful with CW Barry Allen's time traveling powers.

TriOmegaZero wrote:

Anonymous Warrior wrote:

I got my beliefs. It's my belief that you'd be better off with my beliefs. No doubt, we have that in common. But would you get anything from me coming back a year from now talking about how I'm a Agnostic Secularlist (or atheist, or whichever view point you've chosen to adopt?)

Absolutely. It's human nature to feel pleased when you find someone agreeing with you.

that explains the inhumans in the rules forum...

Damn Terrigen clouds, now they're even online!

Hey, Hank Pym used a Commodore 64 to shut down Ultron in 2007.

Clint Eastwood, summoner, with furniture-based eidolons would be a pretty good character for Edlund's new The Tick show.

Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

Treppa wrote:

What oogs me out is that it's being promoted as bombastically and as intelligently as a WWE event, not a political debate. I expect to see Richard Dawson as emcee.

I kinda expect Vince McMahon to be in the audience, goading Trump to kayfabe it up.

And then Clinton powerbombs him.

If this were in Fox's cinematic X-Men/Deadpool universe, Trump's verbal diarrhea of toxic sexism would be the stressor catalyst that finally activates Clinton's X-genes... and she manifests Scott Summers eyebeams that blows the Trumpernaut through the wall.

Rysky wrote:

The 1/day quick draw kinda mitigates that a bit, or if you're using a two-hander, release-look-grab.

But yeah Handsight is more preferable to Magi and Swashbucklers.

Hmm, would wearing a hand puppet be considered occupying the hand? I would have way too much fun with that.

*sticks puppet above barrier*

"... what do you mean if you had a bladder my arm would be soaked right now?!?!"

I want to RolePlay that Hand Puppet.

Like Handy & The Human Ton (brawler) (from The Tick)?

Could someone please tell me what reference na na na etc. is making?

Thank you in advance

The last line of the lyrics of this U.S. television show's theme (Youtube of intro & outro).

Secret leaked storyboards for season 3 premiere: "Kentucky Fried Flashpoint" (No, not really. I just wanted to share the serious WTF.)

Drejk wrote:

Certain topics are considered faux pa here, mostly politics, sports, and dragging here drama from other topics. Freehold is a self-appointed guardian with his bike-flinging catapult (or is that a trebuchet?) and uses flaming bikes as a warning shots...

Understood. I approve of most things that are aflame.

@Freehold --

So . . . . Why are the bikes aflame?? Just curious.

He was working an overnight shift alone at a bike shop, when a flaming bicycle crashed through the window, silhouetted by the moon. In that moment, he instantly understood how to strike fear into the hearts of criminals... {mental note: must now convince Bruce Timm and Paul Dini to create Freehold: The Animated Series}

You don't merge with clothes. Have you considered what it's like having denim skin. Nobody thinks about the pain of breaking it in.

Bitten by a radioactive pair of Daisy Dukes? Sounds like a The Tick hero or villain.

...The fact that people are freaking out about it NOW is like people seeing Clark Kent take off his glasses and suddenly shouting "ZOMG YOU'RE SUPERMAN!!!"...

Ah, but there's an explanation for that. :)

Freehold DM wrote:

thejeff wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Recently, however, I added the new Micronauts series from IDW, and I've got their new Rom: Space Knight series on my list.

ROM IS BACK?!

I'm excited!

Near as I can tell, both of those are based on the original toy IP, with no rights to any of the Marvel comics stuff.

I like the marvel stuff so we will see what they come up with. I'm nervous now...

Indeed. But I don't think it's back just yet. There was a free comic book day things, but the regular series comes out in June or July, methinks.

ROM is now part of Hasbro's new shared universe which also includes Micronauts, G.I. Joe, Transformers, Visionairies, and M.A.S.K. The new Transformers movie was announced as being Transformers: The Last Knight, which has some speculating {backs up dumptruck of salt} that it will include ROM.

MissingNo wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

He keeps his alias post counts proportional according to the golden ratio. This prevents a rift from opening in the space-time continuum which would unleash untold horrors on the interwebs.

*pokes at the timestream*

Dammit, Barry! Didn't Wells warn you about this!

Until I see evidence otherwise, I'm gonna instead blame it on Rip Hunter.

Another horrifying thought:

Men are often accused of thinking with their dangly bits. That takes on a very scary meaning with Manhattan.

"He has more brains in the tip of his c- {sigh} Alright, I didn't think that one through beforehand."

foams at mouth

Wait, at which part? 'Cause Michael Ansara and Victor Fries from B:TAS were pretty damn cool awesome.

Edit: Would you prefer Captain Cold instead? I could accept that pending photographic/video evidence of your ability to chew scenery (ex) at will and how well you can smirk while enjoying a stolen mug of cocoa.

No matter what though, I will always believe that the Joker is really Freehold DM.

That would involve a subsequent "What-a-twist!" reveal that Martha Wayne & Dr. Thomas Wayne were actually Alton Brown and Joss Whedon.

Besides, if Freehold is anyone in the Batverse, he's the (Michael Ansara-voiced) Victor Fries from Batman: The Animated Series.

Or at least buy the brown pants.

I understood that reference.

Chris Mortika wrote:

And, it didn't connect well with the rest of the MCU. This darkforce dimension is new stuff, and I hope to see it again in Agents of SHIELD or somewhere. It would have played better, I think, if it had been connected to, say, Gravitron.

I think it was supposed to preview the "Dark Dimension" from Dr. Strange.

One or two weeks later, Marvel's writers did use the darkforce/Dark Dimension in an episode of Agents of SHIELD. And I'm sure it'll play an important part of the Cloak & Dagger TV show that was announced a couple months ago.

... I... I'm ruined. My brother-in-law and his fiance gave me access to Netflix. They set up an account and taught me how to sign in. It's an account that's explicitly named for us. Completely free of charge (as it's part of her account).

If you want to enjoy seeing bad guys get beaten up and can handle a little depressing/grittiness, enjoy both seasons of Daredevil. If you feel bountifully happy and want to change that, watch the first season of Jessica Jones (it's good but bleak).

The kids can marathon the How to Train Your Dragon/Dreamworks Dragons tv show.

Lemmy wrote:

Why is anyone surprised? DC reboots its continuity every other week!

With "Rebirth", my nephew isn't even 9 years old and he already lived through 2 DC reboots...

Or has he?

In a few years, Kal'Lem of Earth-Prime, son of Jor'Lem and nephew of our own Paiz'Lem, will learn the truth and punch his way through the Continuity Wall, heralding in the Crisis of Infinite Reboots crossover.

I also need to get myself a bike.

Cars are so primitive.

I will however resist the urge to get the Ray-Ban sunglasses and head to crotch spandex. :-)

By day, Mr. F.G. Yesterman is an otherwise normal-seeming professional stuffed animal & wombat cuddler. But, when there's two-wheeled mayhem, he becomes...!

Norman Osborne wrote:

Freehold wants a GRIMDARK and GRITTY Wonder Twins film.

Form of...WATER! REALLY DARK AND GRITTY WATER!!!

I WANT SILT AND SHARP PEBBLES IN THAT WATER

Meh. I'd only be interested if Zan turned into tequila, and Jayna was addicted to the fame of appearing in funny animal videos on Youtube.

Does anyone know what the ratings have been like this season?

Here (ratings in right-most column)

ə!

I f!#*ing love Hell Girl. That is all.

Riddle's "Rule 63" cosplay of Mignola's Hellboy, or did you mean something else?

Caineach wrote:

The plot writers decided to use time travel and s!$~ty sudo--logic to justify bad writing.

I'm amused by "sudo--logic".

Logic you have to accept because the speaker has root access?

Could be worse. Could be Sussudio logic.

Hama wrote:

What I really found lackluster is RF's explanation of why he HATES the Flash so much. It makes no freaking sense to me.

Right? "I used to admire you, then I found out my destiny was to be your greatest enemy?" WTF?

Apparently, exposure to the Speed Force—much like exposure to Pym particles without proper protective shielding—causes brain damage:

Reverse Flash + Speed Force = sociopath murderer
Zoom + Speed Force = sociopath murderer
Barry Allen + Speed Force = occasional killer of bad guys, horribly mistreats girlfriends, often displays poor logic
Jay Garrick + Speed Force = often displays poor logic, mopey doofus (plus cellular decay)

The boy from 23 is lonely

That's because the B from 23 moved to NYC to kick Kilgrave's ass and meet Luke Cage.

That's her secret, Cap: she's always hangry.

Petty Alchemy wrote:

Owen K. C. Stephens wrote:

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

Ah, that clarifies things, Neil was listed as a Round 5 Judge only. Did y'all bribe him with letting him publish his precursor adventure to Realm of the Fellnight Queen?

There aren't a *lot* of people who don't work in the Paizo offices I'd ask to be a judge for every round, but Neil is absolutely on that very short list. He's been a huge part of this contest and community every year, and I was thrilled when he agreed to the massive time commitment being a judge for the entire contest.

No bribery needed. :)

Oh? Tell us about his Judgernaut forum tag :P

A gninja did it.

Ah, the Crimson Pen of Cyttorak.

A mwagner of grendels

A ________ of ghorans

{looks around at all the duplicate Freeholds} I thought you were Bobby da Costa, not Jamie Madrox? ;)

Rawr! wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

Tarder Sauce, the Grumpy Cat wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

H'okay, I'm not gonna lie.

Dumb as it was (even at the time), irritatingly preachy and unconvincing as it was (even at that age), and over-the-top corny as it was (even at that era), I watched Captain Planet way back when. Not religiously, but enough.

And as exceptionally stupid as it is, possibly for nostalgia only, and possibly just because there's a draft right where I'm sitting, I got chills of "coooooo~!" watching this, despite (or maybe "because of"?) it having every one of the aforementioned traits.

I dunno, guys. Am I losing my discernment? Cynicism? Am I just waxing nostalgic? Or was that fan-made trailer actually... fun? Cool? Some combination? Weeeeiiiiirrrrrd.

However, we were speaking of Game Theory earlier, and, speaking of Captain Planet and MatPat...

(It... it's glorious...)

Don Cheadle makes a better Captain Planet.

I have to ask: who?

War Machine!

I have no desire to gaze upon your nicknamed nakedness.

Still a less inappropriate nickname than Iron Patriot.

Kthulhu wrote:

In fairness to Lois, she's got to feel pretty stupid having been fooled for DECADES by a pair of glasses and a slight change in hairstyle. All that bitter anger has to go somewhere.

One of my favorite moments in any Superman adaptation.

To be fair to Lois, glasses work differently in the DC multiverse.

Hoooooooey.

Congratulations! Not everyone gets a world-shattering superpower, but Superhuman Threadlocking is nothing to sneeze at in the Age of the Internet.

Remember the immortal words of the Caped Excelsior: "With great power comes great responsibility business opportunity."

"I'm full of tinier men!"

Ah yiss!