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Pestilence and plague for Europe is planned and seeded that Walpurgisnacht. A return of swarms of rats bearing the Black Plague to the German cities of Mainz and Wörms, and the Italian cities of Siena and Ferrara... Crops will fail this season, milk will sour, and an unusual number of two-headed goat kids or calves are born that spring...
Oh yeah, baby!! GO BEAR!! TEAR ‘EM A NEW ONE!! HAHAHAHAHA!! Bear is PISSED boys! Look out!! He’s gonna eat that Chinaman for desert! That fella ain’t a Chinaman, ya buffoon! He’s Japanese! They smell totally different ‘cause of what they eat!
PEEEEUUUUU!! That stinks! HAHAHAHA!! BOOOOO!! BOOOOOO!! Mister big shot English composer John Dunstable! What a maroon!
Oh my gosh!! Fox!! Is he still breathing!? Those bony guys exploded into flames! Holy canole! Good thing we was hanging back here with the thrush, or we’d be roasted rats!
Wow! His Grace Cardinal Lucius is wise! What if that letter is a trick to divert the fellas elsewhere while the Big Bad Guy does his dirty deeds here in Rome!? Twisted! Good point! Worse yet, it could be bait for a trap, ya know what I mean? Ya! It could be a big chunk o’ stale cheese set there to get the fellas to put their necks down for the steel chomper!
Wow, Bear! That was spectacular! He’s smarter than the average bear, I tell you! Nifty trick, Bear! Where’d ya get that magic firehose, aye? That thingamajig would come in handy when a fire breaks out in the city, wouldn’t it?
HAHAHA!! We TOLD yas about the fellas, didn’t we big timers!? Heheheh! Look at the big shots now! Hahaha! Always bossing us little guys around... Ya ain’t so tuff against the fellas, are ya! Yeahhhh!! Run home to your gremlin masters, ya big galoots! You guys suck!
Aha! The old bones-in-the-pit trick worked great last time, Bear!
"Quieter than you can..." He’s right about that... We heard ya from three rooms away, Mister Bear!
Hey, guys! Look! The fellas are back! And they are in rare form! Did you see the Bear!? He was tearing those stinky guys apart like they was nothin’! Ya! How about Zagathoth chopping them up like brisket! Hahahaha! I think that meat’s gone bad, I wouldn’t eat it... well, I probably will anyways, just saying... Where’d you get them magic bees, Quinlan? Pretty nifty! They stung the hell outta old stinkybones! Heheheh!
Oh, yeah! I saw that! Saint Mikey doesn’t like it when babies get hurt...
It was Saint Mikey, ya knucklehead! Didn’t ya see him sweep his wing over the babe when it fell in the fire?
I coulda sworn I saw that baby get cremated, and then when I looked again, he was safe and sound! How the Hell did that happen!?
Who? The dead guys, or the fellas? Hahaha! Just bustin’ yer chops, fellas! Yeah, seems like the dead guys could be lured into a trick, maybe?
Yeah! The fellas might have to think outside the box here... If these dead guys are too hard to beat up, maybe they can trap ‘em somehow? They don’t seem real bright...
These bony goombahs are hard to hit, aye?
DAAAAAAAMMN!!! Bear just bit that stinky guy’s face OFF!! Did you SEE THAT!?
Sure, big guy! We know where all the pretty rocks are...
Oooh! Look at the pretty orange rock! Are you fellas gonna make all the pretty rocks shine like that one?
The pretty ghost lady seems to really like you, Fox!
Hopping from skull to skull, the talking rats accompany the adventurers... Watch yer step...
She was sure singing a pretty tune just now, Mister Fox! Don't you think, sir?
I never seen the pretty ghost lady hurt nobody, Mister Bear... But I seen the other dead things get outta her way in a hurry, is all I'm saying... I think she'd like a big, cuddly goombah like you! Hehehe!
Nah, she don’t tell the other dead things what to do... They just seem to stay outta her way, capische?
In response to Johann’s inquiry regarding “shiny things, weapons, armor, etc”: Shiny things? Ya gotta go deeper for them. No shiny stuff up hereabouts... But down in the deeps, ya...plenty o’ shinies! Shiny stuff out the wazoo!
Hey fellas, look! There she is now! The pretty lady ghost we was tellin’ thems about! A rat points at the eastern archway, and the other two look and nod. Yep. That’s her!
The third rat chimes in: Ya, it's thataway... He points toward the eastern archway...
The second rat adds: Vive nella scatola con sopra la donna addormentata... Italian: She lives in the box with the stone sleeping lady on it...
La bella signora fantasma vive nella scatola di pietra bianca... Italian: The pretty lady ghost lives in the white stone box...
All three of the rats scurry closer to Johann’s cheese, and sit on their rumps like humans would in a ring around the morsel... All the monsters seem pretty powerful to us, chief! chuckles one rat as it rips a smaller chunk off the chunk of cheese and stuffs it in its mouth... The pretty lady ghost! squeaks the second rat, between gulps of cheese... Oh, ya, her... chirps the third rat... The other dead things seem to respect her, like she’s some kinda boss lady or somethin’...
Oh, sure! I know all kinds o' secrets 'bout this place! Haha! Ya, those dead fellas are pretty ripe, right? Hehe!
I could swear that big goombah was a bear a second ago! Ya, that's why I was holdin' still, ya know? You were wigglin' 'n jigglin'... Hey, don't get too cozy, fellas... There's a Fox with these guys... Don't make any sudden moves...
A trio of brown rats perched on skulls begins to chatter in high-pitched squeaky voices that sound like Italians on helium... Aaaaaayy! Padre! You alright? It looks like ya got yer clock cleaned pretty good by them dead fellas! HEHEHE! Ya, but you fellas set 'em straight with your swords and what not! Ya! Yous guys are awesome! |
