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People hate paladins? BLOODY NONSENSE, OLD CHAP! We have the best class features out of ANY class, objectively. Mages may get their silly spells, but really, what self-respecting adventurer goes out to face dragons in a skirt? Our clerical brothers and sisters may get better healing spells, but we get the HOLY PIMP HANDS OF JUSTICE! We can soothe what ails a berk or we can give him a good smiting! Plus, we're far more dashing. *Sparkling smile* We cause havoc in parties? That's as barmy as ghost biggies! All these Chaotic-Not-Evil types need to belt up and behave like Real Heroes instead of the Secret Villain! What? I can't break the 4th wall with TV tropes? That's just blinkered duff mate and I will clap the ears and kick the Cobbler's Awls of anyone who says otherwise! We're all sticks in the mud, you say? Fiddlesticks! We are all dashing charmers and, when the need arises, we have Divine Health to keep us from having any of the common ills befall us in the course of our righteous work in totty houses and taverns! And not only that, but only gormless jammies have not heard our wonderful jokes we make or seen the fabulous antics we get up to when we get right rat-arsed. We don't need a bit of the drinky-drink to make us brave, so when we get squiffed, it all goes straight to our sense of humor. Imagine the look on a fire elemental's face when it gets wazzed on! And yes, it did happen. I am a paladin, so I can put forth no twee porkies, unlike those rogue bounders! Those wankers do enough waffling and telling porkies for all of us! Long story short, don't be porked by these barmy whingers! We paladins are sophisticated individuals that can have as much fun as the next berk, but we just look twice as smashing doing it! So put paid to those rumors and roll up a Paladin! |
