Man I hate non tippers too lass
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. Sharinda starts That was a Bally long nap! Look at the dust what's kicking up! She begins to swab furiously at the tables
Oi! Mind the mess yer makin' Corr, lousy tips today ...
Sharinda laughs "Ach! Pet, the best way to catch a man is to make him think he's trying to catch yeh! Ignore him, but mayhap pay attention to another man he's chums with. Men are easy to confuse, send him a positive signal then walk away. Keep him guessing. Men like the chase." Sharinda dishes out a large spread of grilled meat patties, bread, sausages and potato salad. "Eat hearty! Today we remember the fallen heroes of yore!"
Sharinda waltzes by the table. "Ach! Yeh've all been sitting here for ages just staring at each other! Karrin, ducks, aren't yeh hungry? Looks at Trapper "Yeh want some food there? Summat teh drink mayhap?"
Sharinda bustles by, dropping more plates of turkey and another mug of grog over to Karrin "Ach! I never did see such lousy tippers as Psurlons. And they try that creepy mind junk too! Anything else yeh need ducks?"
Jedrick can see a crowd that would do any trading post cantina in Torilspace proud. A gaggle of neogi atop their umber hulk vehicle/bodyguards are in a hushed conversation with several tall blue Mercane. An insectile ice devil slurps a large steaming drink in the corner. A tiefling female with a large blue crystal axe sits with a kobold, a dark haired man and a tiny blue creature. Two bariaur arm wrestle at a back table, and a dwarf, elf anf ogre play darts at a series of boards near a small sand-covered pit. A small gnomish-looking woman waltzes up to him "Did'ja say Spiral Dew wine? And a shot? We just got some Arcadian fire liquor in, kicks like a bariaur after three cups of coffee."
"Coming up Karrin!" Sharinda waltzes off and returns with a platter of roast pork, mashed potatoes pickles and a crock of mustard beans. Her other hand holds a lemon pie. "Eat up ducks!"
"Karrin? Are yeh set ducks? Traveller?"
Sharinda wanders through the inn's common room "Anyone need a refresh?"
"Sounds like he wants a Mallard Fizz," Karrin says, "Not my choice, but to each their own." Sharinda shrugs "One Mallard Fizz it is then! Karrin, summat for you?"
Sharinda comes back and sets out a few condimnets on the table "Do yeh want something to drink ducks?"
Sharinda nods "One bowl of grub eggs then."" She returns shortly with a bowl of small squirming pale grey ovoids and a spoon "Enjoy"
#11 doesn't understand a word the metal man is saying. "You serve food?" he asks cautiously. Sharinda waltzes in "Who you talking to ducks? You want some grub? We have eggs of all sorts. I know kobolds like eggs!"
wanders through the thread looking for an after dinner snack Yeh wants some brain and brie? I got some Jalepeno troll brain poppers if that doesn't tickle yer fancy ...
Sharinda grabs the mug of greenish rank liquid and places it in front of the kobold "Enjoy it." She turns to Karrin "Yeh all right ducks? That pony shyster do all righ' by yeh? I can have Mitchifer have a word with that fiendish floozy if yeh like."
HAY! *crash*
"Eh, must've dozed off there... Must stop nipin' at me bottles! Ha!" "Boss we need a fermented poison dart frog margarita!"
Sharinda walks through the tavern, dispensing drinks. She tsks at the cakey mess at the table and cleans it up "Well, I'm glad you had a good birthday Karrin. Any drinks needed?"
Karrin faints. Karrin awakes to the sharp smell of ammonia. Sharinda's concerned face hovers over her. She lays a damp towel on Karrin's forehead. Bel can be see in the background behind Sharinda, but there is no sign of the erinyes Veria. "Karrin, are yeh allright? Can I get yeh a drink or summat?"
Sharinda comes over to the table "Mitchifer said that he had a conference room set for you like you wanted, Karrin." Good news, as Bel's courier had showed up and suggested this tavern as a neutral meeting place. The fiendish erinyes and the tiefling centaur lawyer were due any moment now...
Sharinda smiles "Mitchifer told me yer birthday was coming up, so I thought a cake was in order."
Sharinda bustles out of the back area "Karrin! I am so sorry, I got wrapped up in a fight among my Thark dishwashers. I'll get you some turkey immediately! And some birthday cake!" Sharinda bustles off, returning wth a plate groaning with goodies and a large cake with several candles in in. "Happy Birthday!"
Anyone need a drink? Speak up!
Sharinda walks up to the table "Yeh lot ready for another round? Seems like the back of forever since yeh ordered summat!"
Sharinda bustles about getting everyone their shots "I miss anyone?" She calls out
Sharinda comes to the table bearing an assortment of meat pies. "Mitchifer sent these over, figured you folks were getting a mite hungry. Can I getcher any drinks? Shactal, you ready for a new Bloody Apocalypse?"
... I can eat a lot of donuts, mind you! And pastries! ... Sharinda, overhearing this rant from where she is pouring Chaine's triple boch, grabs a plate of assorted doughnuts to bring over. It always helped to get the ones in portal shock some food to help them adjust. "Here's some doughnuts sir,' she says soothingly to Mull. She turns to Chaine. "Here's your drink sir, enjoy." Turns to the others. "Anyone in need of a 'fresher?"
... "Yes, yes, a triple boch will do in a pinch," he says. "Better make it a boilermaker, though, with a shot of whiskey in there." Sharinda calmy listens to the ravings of the newcomer. In the hundred-odd years she's worked this inn, she's gotten a lot of odd ducks "Tharkadian Ebony Triple boch and a shot of Tir Na Og's own Black Epona Label coming up!" SHe ducks behind the bar, coming up with a frothing pint glass of a very dark ale and a shot of dark amber alcohol. "There you are. I'll be round to see how yer faring in a bit." She hurries off to get Chaine his drink
Sharinda looks at the scrunched faced stranger "What ... do ... you ... want ... to ... drink." The small gnome waitress says it slow and enunciates every word.
"What? No Orange Sunshine in this establishment? No Wavy Gravy? Where are all the hippies? Where are all the heads?" The dwarf is wide-eyed and suddenly raving. He looks around wildly and tries to spot his server. Sharinda hurries up to the newcomer "Sorry I didn't see yeh come in cutter, yeh were at the bar an' all I though Mitchifer would get yeh. Where'd ol' Snake Eyes go anyway ..?" Pauses "Well, that's neither Spire nor Sigil. What are yeh looking to get fer bub ducks?"
"I, ah, didn't say I was from anywhere..." Chaine says suspiciously, "So... this is a gateway to other realms?" Sharinda chuckles "No yeh didn't. I head you taking Desna's name as an oath, an' some cutter jest bored me with this long-winded account of Golarion gods an' I recalled one of the gods bein' named that. Heh. Before I assume things I should remember the Golden Rule of assumption!" Looks up at the newcomer. "I'll bring yeh some Tharkadian Ebony Triple Boch sirrrah." Hurries off
Sharinda nods to acknowledge she heard the order. She put a hand up as O.L.L.I preapres to explain the nature of a transitive plane in four-part painful harmony "I'll field this one ducks. Think of it as a train station, yeh ken trains? No? Alright, think of it as an island that sits between a bunch of other places people are travelling to. Naturally, people tend to stop on their way to these other places, jest to catch their breath, or a bite to eat. Eventually, people build shelters there, then start selling food an' drink. It becomes an important place, not because it makes anything, or has anything, but because people can stop and eat a bit, drink a bit, maybe chat and do a little business as well. That's the best I can tells yeh.." Pauses "Yeh said yer from Golarion right? Think on this place as a tiny version of that trading city you cutters have, whaddya calls it, Absalami or summat?"
Sharinda looks back at the man and plants her small fists on her generous hips. "Listen cutter, you want to sit by yer lonesome feel free. I'll be happy to bring you a drink and let yeh be by yerself. Just tell me yer preference." Her tone has considerably cooled and she looks at the newcomer with a peery eye.
Sharinda bustles up with a sweet cider for Witchbrand. She then hurries over to the scowling newcomer "Good Peak to yeh ducks! Welcome to the World Serpent Inn! I'm Sharinda, and I'll be yer waitress. Are yeh alone? There's a nice table of friendly folk right over there if yeh'd be wanting some palaver with yer bub. Can I getcher summat teh drink?"
Sharinda returns to the table and begins dishing out hot bowls of vegetable soup "I thought you could all use some warm soup" She looks to Witchbrand "Have yeh decided what yeh'd like to drink?" Looks at the others "Anyone else fancy another drink?"
...The Witchbrand seems to come to his senses. "Menzoberranzan? What's that?" Sharinda squints her eyes "I'm sorry cutter! I saw yeh coloring an' took yeh for a drow. After yer second century yer peepers ain't as keen as they used to be! Menzoberranzan is a famous drow city on a planet called Toril. We used to have a lot of traffic from there through here ... For some reason a lot of the gates have closed up lately." Sharinda smiles when Karrin speaks "Karrin ducks, you can show this new fish the ropes yes? I have a pot of veggie soup on the boil and Mitchifer gets cross if I burn it!" Sharinda swirls off
Sharinda follows Witchbrand's gaze "Oh him? That's little Olli, a Modron. He's orignally from Mechanus, but he calls kip in the Cage these days. Funny little berk, but friendly enough. Go ahead over if you want to introduce yourself." Looks up at Witchbrand "Would you like a mushroom ale? We also have a wide selection of Menzoberranzan vintages."
Sharinda smiles, having seen that confused look a million times. Sure! The World Serpent Inn. It's kind of a nexus point of portals my boss Mitchifer runs. He's the avatar of the Midgard Serpent, don'tcha know. This is a waystation for those what get lost between the planes. We gots plenty of food and drink. There's darts, pool, and a fighting pit out back the Bearded Reaver runs. Hmm, if you feel lucky you can try to find your way home by opening the doors in the back hallway, but it's a gamble! Looks the newcomer over So what's your poison?
A small gnome lady in a volumninous peasant skirt swirls up to the newcomer, holding a tray of beverages "Howdy ducks! Welcome to the World Serpent Inn! What can I do yeh fer?"
Sharinda returns with Shactal's Bloody Apocalypse. She puts the large mug with the smoking liquid and frozen larva chunk in front of the burly Ice Devil and looks around the table. "Anyone else need anything while I'm here?"
Sharinda reappears with more food. She places a nice broiled piece of Rothe and some mushroom ale in front of Brinkt and a Medium Grade Clockwork Oil in front of O.L.L.I. A pitcher of Mitchifer's homebrew and another assorted platter of fried snack goodies hit the table "Gor, and this place git quiet alla a sudden." She remarks as she rearrainges the food. She notices Shactal's icy form. "'Ello Shac. Bloody Apocalypse fer yeh?" The large icy mantis devil nods his insectile head and Sharinda hurries off again.
Sharinda winks at Karrin "No worries luv. We got some Rothe meat in the broiler out back" Sharinda hurries off
Sharinda looks at Raizen "Do we have a salad? 'Course we do! One Mordenkainen Salad with a side of homemade keep dressing coming right up!" Sharinda looks at Brinkt "I'll jest get yeh the mushroom ale while yeh're deciding." Sharinda bustles off.
Sharinda turns to Raizen. "While I'm a-waiting on the goblin lady to make her choice would yeh be wanting anything sir?"
Sharinda grins "I've got just the thing for a hungry goblin." She addresses Brinkt <We have mushroom ale and roast rothe if you want that> She snarls and hisses in Goblinspeak
Sharinda wanders over to the table, noticing the new arrival. "A goblin, by Oberon's Big Toe!" She says with a grin. <Would you like a drink?> Sharinda asks the newcomer in accented Goblin
Sharinda chuckles at Karrin's spiel "No worries love, flan tastes like caramel custard, not people. I'll get yeh some and a second helping of turkey. Been a lot of requests for it lately." Sharinda looks about the table. "Anything else for you lot?"
Sharinda returns with Lolenthiel's cider "There yeh go lass, one cider." Sharinda plants her small fists on her hips and surveys the crowd. "So are yeh ordering anything else? We still have some turkey and stuffing for those what want it. Mitchifer has mince, pumpkin, apple, rhubarb and steakberry pies. Got several ice creams too: vanilla, chocolate, toffee chip, creamberry, and flan."
"Yeh folks need summat to drink? Looks like it's getting a bit crowded by the bar." Yells over her shoulder "MITCHIFER! Break out the new ale casks and get the hash browns on! We got a breakfast rush!" |