Reta Bigbad

Reta73's page

40 posts. Alias of grimdog73.


Me tired the nasty longshanks out....she easy to stab after I done with her....she lucky with big pan....stupid pan....

and Reta is taking a nap..i forgot to use the bad beat challenge thingy

Stupid dumb longshanks! Me Reta Bigbad! Bestest of the best that Licktoads are! Me gonna skin your little pet...nasty doggie!

Reta swings at the dog again.

smash: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 = 131d4 ⇒ 2

Reta darts in and swings at the nasty dog.

attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 121d4 ⇒ 4

Kill it!

Reta plants her face in the cake and takes a huge mouthful.

Mmmm....sweet cake....make me feel funny....

Then she hears that a dog is around....

Kill the dog! Kill it!

She rushes towards the house to kill the dog

Reta swings her club at the female longshanks and spits at her in disgust.

Gonna take all yer stuff, longshanks...gonna make me rich!

attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 51d4 ⇒ 3

Reta gets in close and swings her club menacingly at the nearest longbhanks.the orange one

bash!: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 81d4 ⇒ 2

Reta charges in and tries to get close to the westernmost longshanks.

Ha! Chuffy not goblin enough to control little bacon....bacon have good idea want cake too!

Reta opens up the gate to let the rest if the animals run loose. She slaps one of the pigs on the hjndquarters to get it going.

One of these goats would make a nice stew.... she says as her mouth waters.

CHuffy's plan sounds good to me...let's run with it! Maybe we can also sneak in the house and grab some lot too.

Me wanna slice and dice and smash and bash....grahhh! Reta starts foaming at the mouth at the prospect of her first raid as a full Licktoad...

We scare elfy longshanks off...she not want get stabbied by us. We beat the they afraid of us. Kettlehead got beat too..him try to rob us. Got new shiny hat. Reta raps on her new "helmet"
And me find nicest, ugliest pet. frog around!

She got any good stuffs? Me hungry now...any pigs back there? Want bacon!

Reta walks up and offers some of the contents of the jar she got from Kettlehead and one of her ted pebbles.

You want trade? she asks in goblin...not knowing if the woman can understand her highly advanced linguistic skills....

Me not think she tasty....maybe she has kind of hungry now...

Reta steps forward and holds up Smoochy.

Me am Reta Bigbad, biggest and most baddest of Licktoads. This Smoochy.

Reta moves in to smash the darkfear with her club.

Die! Die!

smash: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 2 = 161d4 ⇒ 1

Reta swings her club as she snarls at the cats.

attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 171d4 ⇒ 2

Reta grabs a potion and chugs it.

Bleh! This taste too good! No likey!

cgw: 1d4 ⇒ 4cgw=cure gobbo

Reta holds up her toad.

Me am Reta....biggest baddest of the bunch. I make goblins make tinkle in their pants, I can take a beating and roll with beatings like big gobbos can. My toaf's name is Smoochy...he lives to give kissies. Ain't that right, Smoochy? as Reta gives the toad a kiss. need drinky hit hard...stupid Kettlehead and his boyz....

Reta goes over to Kettlhead and spits on his body.

Reta snarls as she opens her eyes and jumps up. She viciously swings her club at Kettlehead.

Gonna make a stew from your guts!

attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 101d4 ⇒ 1

Just double checking...Reta is out right?

Reta spits at Kettlehead as she swings her club at him.

Me gonna dent that fat head of yours real good.

attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 201d4 ⇒ 1

Reta charges at Kettlehead.

Gonna smash Kettlead till him squishy and dead.

attack: 1d20 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 + 2 = 221d4 ⇒ 1

Us not stupid....maybe Poog, Chuffy too...but not me. We catch toads and you not. Who stupid now, big dumb Kettlehead, smells like a rat that's dead....

Reta grabs her club and smiles wickedly at Kettlehead and his minions.

Reta grabs the rest of the gear.

Might need this later....get hungry too...let's go. We need to go to cave now.

Mogmurch look silly trying to grab toad.

Reta slathers mud and goop all over her and sinks down into the mud. She sits with her mouth just above the water. She quietly says...

Act like toad, smell like catch toad....

stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (15) + 10 = 25

cmb: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 = 19

Yeas! MeReta, bestest of the Licktoads!

Reta goes poking around, looking for anything valuable, usable or edible.

perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9

Reta laughs at Poog.

Poog not smell too good....bleh!

Chuffy need open eyes....worms there....dumb Chuffy!

Reta laughs at Chuffy as she throws a clump of mud at him.

Reta plants her face to the ground and takes a big mouthful.

perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6
perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17
refex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15
perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 14
reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

Here worm! He big....lunch maybe?

Big dumb Kettlehead, smell like mold,
Him so ugly, him mama was a kobold,
His belly so big, it has a fold,
This is best story me ever told...

fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
int: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (7) - 1 = 6

Reta is getting visibly upset. She grabs the teapot off Kettlehead and crams it on to her head. She lowers herself and runs headfirst into the wall.

Me battering Reta....poke hole in wall!

cha: 1d20 - 2 + 2 ⇒ (19) - 2 + 2 = 19

owie: 1d3 ⇒ 1

Reta get badge now....I show all you wormlickers....

Reta hops up on top of the cage and does a backflip, trying to land on her head.

cha: 1d20 - 2 + 2 ⇒ (3) - 2 + 2 = 3

ouch: 1d3 ⇒ 1

fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5

Reta hacks a bit before chasing the spider fir a third time.

Me not feel too good...spider iz gonna hurt now.

cmb: 1d20 ⇒ 17

dex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

Here, little spider....Reta have present for you....

cmb: 1d20 ⇒ 14

Reta grabs the writhing spider and tries to attach the leash to it.
Hold still...noose time!

dex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

....but the spider eludes the leash again....drawing a slew of swear words from Reta.

Stupid spider! Reta squish you on wall with big rock.....then make stew from your guts! Me mad now!

Spidey make nice friend for Mr.Beetle...or lunch....not sure if hungry yet.

Reta darts forward and tries to wrangle the spider.

cmb: 1d20 ⇒ 13

After grabbing the writhing pest, she tries to secure the leash on it.

dex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

Silly bug...get back here....Reta hungry now! Gonna put you on spit and roast you nice and black! Reta love crunchy bugs!Reta curses after failing to secure the leash.

Reta want slash! Me slash good! Me is best slasher! Reta show all you!