Cayden Cailean

Rambler's page

5 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


made me think of bionic commando

So, one of my gaming buddies saw this 'Couch of Lifestealing' on Craigslist, who ever the seller is could've been a contender for the wonderous items round, I've pasted it below for all to enjoy.

Couch of Life Stealing
Climate/Terrain: Dank Basement Lair
Frequency: Common
Organization: Solitary/Small Matched Sets
Activity Cycle: Any
Diet: Weary Role-Players, Late-night Party Crashers, Unsuspecting Pet Dogs
Intelligence: Nil
Treasure: Minimal Copper and/or Silver Pieces, Occasional Collectible Figurines
Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Unmolested and in its natural state, the Couch of Life-Stealing may subsist for its entire life cycle on little more than air and dust particles. When encountered by unwary adventurers, however, it can be a challenging adversary. Faced with the prospect of a great meal, it will invite weary adventurers to lay upon its "cushions," whereupon it will employ a stealth attack, sucking 1d8 HP per round from unlucky victims. Once hit, victims will also automatically be struck down by Couch's powerful "Sleep" spell. If he fails his CON save, the victim will remain under the spell's power for up to 8 hours, and his midsection will sink deeply into the bowels of Couch.

Curiously, though in the midst of attack from the Couch of Life-Stealing the adventurer may experience an almost deathlike paralysis, following a full 8 hour attack the victim will often return to full HP and feel completely refreshed. This makes the Couch of Life-Stealing both a bane of and a boon to adventurers, depending upon their immediate circumstances.

This particular specimen of the Couch of Life-Stealing has lived in peace with its local adventurers for years, and in spite of repeated regular encounters has killed no adventurers yet. This makes it rare among Couches of Life-Stealing, and therefore a valuable steal at a total cost of 0 cp.

Yeah, I was surprised by how blah many of these were, lack of drive and motivation for the villains brought down a fair few in my estimation, but what can I say, I had a blah wonderous item and didn't get this far. I thought that 6 were good enough to continue overall, so I'm interested to see how things play out with the remainder of the submissions, especially if they garner no votes or minimal votes.

(Am I the only "grown up" here who actually *likes* snow...?)


I like snow and cold for snowboarding or skiing or tubing, hate it when I'm shoveling or scraping off windsheilds!!

The great metropolis of Minneapolis Minnesota.

Snow - check
Cold - check
Ice - check
"Why do I continue to live here?" asked almost every day from November thru March - check