PU Stabby Toadhed, Philosophist's page

77. We just wanted to share our poetry and handicrafts with you.

I conqurs. To add furthers,

78. We wishes to demonstrate the powers of sciences (FIRE-CHEMY!) and how it can improve your life (well, make your pain and suppering shorter at least.) Goblins perfect the fire bomb into an art; we bless you by showings you greatest sight of yer life right before you die. 11 out of 10 victims we burn to death agree the sacrificing their lives totally worth it. I, the great and wise P.U. Stabby Toadhed swear you'll never see them complain about us.*

*Oath not valid if the dead is spoken to, reanimated, cloned, or resurrected in anyway

185. Calls uz goblinz sedistick and then makez humors ha-ha funny for lulz thread about how to get away with killingz goblin babiez. It's hippocritical if I, P.U. Stabby Toadhedz, Lice-sensed Prefectionist Smerty-Brainz, ever seez it.

It itz humorz ha-ha funny lolz, but don't pretendz to be holier hand-grenade than usses. We knowz yous is as battz as usses.

P.U Stabby Todhed, Incensed Confessional Knowers of All Things Mist-ik-cold, willis enlighten all youz pink squishie brains on the connetionz between summoner and eyedolun. You sees, this is the one in-stance whens writingz can swallows your soul. (Unenlightened gobboes believez all writings can do tis, but that's a mis-number. Writingz is bad because it ruins your memoriez- next time use pneumatics too remember things! Listen to the great gobboe sage Soccer-Crates!)

What weres we talkings about? Oh, yeses, the summon-hers and the idea-o-logue's runes! You sees, the runez on the eid-don't-like-yous binds its to the master runes on the summonboar's forehead. So it makes the eiddunno a SLAVE to the bummerner's will!

The summoners/eekdolon runes thingy is wherez the unenlightened of my people's gets the ideas that "any letterz you read will swallow your soul! WILL SWAL-LOW YOUR SOUL!" Because they don't wanna be slaves to VILE HAVERS OF DOGS AND HORSES!

Pooperstition: WE NEEDZ MOAR PEOPLE PLAYING GOBLIN SAGEZ! Witch one youz wanna play? Onez with BIG GRAY WRINKLY-BRAINZ like P.U. Stabby Toadhez, Incensed Confessional Greatest Charucktar EVARZ!

Goblins are called out as often inventing gods, sometimes treating an oddly shaped rock as a diety to be venerated.

Yez, yez, P.U. Stabby Toadhed, incensed professional Knower of All Thing-a-bobbers Worth Knowingz, sayz yez, we haz you a smart one for a pink fleshie sub-perzons hugh-man. You iz korrect, though teh spellingz is "deity", though how I wizhes it wuz spoiled "die-ty", because wez need to say "DIE!" wordz more oftenz.

But on topics, yez we of teh superiorz goblin mindz know that rockz are good thingz to worships because of three truthinesses:
1)Rocks are harder to shanks than squishie fleshies.
2)Rocks are harder to blowz up than squishie fleshies.
3)Rocks can crush squishie fleshies!

Thereforez, we can concludes, rocks > than squishie fleshies. To bellieve in godz is to believe in greater powerz than self. Therefore, rocks arez deservingz of worship!

11. P.U. Stabby Toadhed, incensed confessional Things-Knowerz, here to tell all weak-minded pink-fleshies (scientological term for hugh-manz) about how your litocrazy weakens your minds's.

Weading makes yous' mind grow softy as yous flesh, becuz memory no longers has to work as hard. Wheez Goblins Intelligentzia know betters than to think writings steels soulz. But we knowz from our great leader Soccer-crates that writingz weakinz the mind.

Insteads of using righting, you should use pneumatics to remembers thingz. Explore your memory palace; it's a plush place to lives! Build meaningful a-goat-iations of things in yur hed. Because wes do it, we Goblins Intellegentrymenica have the best mammaries.

Despite our great wrinkle-brainzs, wez is also increiblydulously humble. Do knots believe whats yous hears about us being SNOBGOBLINS!

S-M-U-R-F

Duz I beats the systems?

Oh SMURF! How didz that happens?!?

PU Stabby Toadhed (Incensed Confessional F.U.D.D) rezitz all yer blue-fleshie magt-magtiks-magtri-foolish illushions. Because he is wize to yer wayz

Watch Stabby! He defines you with skeptiprism!

SMURF!!

Are you sure you're not a goblin? Cause, really:

Me, P.U. Stabby Toadhed, incensed confessional humanz stabby-expert, waz right-left 'bout some pink-fleshies beinz half-and-halfs and smart as goblinz. Heres' we findz that even each one of da lowerz huma-humongrels speciesis have the potentials for thinkingz like proper goblinz. Or at leats for each humongrel to haz a little goblinz inside him.*

*And so nowz I call for each little goblinz inside da human to carve his wayz out, so's we goblins' cans eat the tasty tasty pink man flesh! Yum yum!