Wooooaaaahhhhh, man! Fharlanghn . . . dude . . .
[Tokes his Gandalf pipe and coughs a few times.]
We've been slaying demons at a bodacious pace the last few days, mainly in this big cave under the Forgotten Temple of Tharizdude, er, Tharizdun.
Twice now . . . or has it been more than that? [Squints at Gandalf pipe.]
Anyway, a couple times now, we fought this groovy marilith and her demon buddies--some nalfeshnees, and a bunch of nasty hezrous, most recently--and have been really kickin' their hairy butts! [Chuckles and hits the Gandalf pipe.]
I communed with the F-dude himself, and was most enlightened! The demons are mainly in league with Iggwilv, but the marilith is one of Graaz't's chicks. The big-arse red dragon that's been burning everything--we came across his dirty work in the Vesve--is also serving Iggwilv.
As for the bad-arse banditos that gave us a hard time in the Yatils, they serve Iuz, and I bet they've been sent to act all, "Hey, Iggy-Baby, your son sent us to help with your groovy evil plans and stuff!", while spying and generally being b%*!*&&$s.
Also found out the demons are coming through a permanent gate in the Forgotten Temple of Tharizdude! Unfortunately, the gate is also Tharizdude's friggin' prison, dude! If we destroy that, we'll be releasing a crap-ton more evil into the cosmos than even all the friggin' demons in all 666 friggin' layers of the Abyss!
We decided to help out the elves in the Vesve, y'know, 'cause they're really far out, and gettin' alot of heat from Big Red and Iggy's demons. So we checked out some maps, and Varysia TPed us there like that! [Snaps.] Big Red had been there three days earlier, and the forest surrounding Flameflower was burnt to a crisp for miles! The elves had survived by going into catacombs under the town and with magic, and were busy cleaning up the mess, scrubbing the soot off the walls, and all that stuff. We met Prince Melf, dude! He was in town with a band of elven knights to aid in the fight against Iggy and her monsters, and commended us for our bad-arseness in beating down demons!
We took on a few jobs for the elves, taking back this far-out tree village the wood elves had been kicked out of by this tribe of orcs, and cleaning out a cave in a swamp in the Defiled Glade that had a bunch of gugs and a giant froghemoth in it! That fat-boy was gnarley, dude!
[Tokes the pipe. Coughs for a moment.]
Then we decided to head for Baranford, to see how they were faring with all this demons 'n dragons bullshizz goin' down. On our way, we met some groovy fey who lived in and guarded an old hill tomb of a goodly ranger who protected them when she lived. There was a satyr named Piper who spoke for 'em all, but there were sprites, pixies, brownies, leprechauns, and a dryad who was most impressed with what was revealed when one of the little leprechaun dudes dropped Samhain's trowsers! [Chuckles.] We partied with the fey for a bit--Piper was layin' down some far out shizz on those pipes of his--and even the ranger-chick's ghost came out to dance and party with us! Then, we bid them farewell, and continued on to Baranford.
As we were nearing the south edge of the Vesve, we were ambushed by a gargantuan ancient green dragon, and she was PISSED about the red dragon burning "her" forest! We tried to point out that, DUH, WE'RE NOT RED DRAGONS, but she insisted on taking it out on us! Well, we showed her what was what, and her corpse will now feed the beasts of the forest as they fed her for so long. Unfortunately, poor Skoarn caught the brunt of her dying wrath, and that's after taking a couple puffs of her gnarley green vapors! He was too dead for my breath of life spell to overcome, so I had to raise him and then restore his memory (levels) with a couple of restorations. He's no worse for wear, I've died myself, and it's a real bummer, but when you hang out with powerful dudes like me and my buds, death is but a temporary nuisance!
So, we finally arrived at Baranford, and when we saw the plumes of smoke in the distance, we knew it was bad. Big Red has burnt B-ford to the ground, dude! What a friggin' bummer!