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"Brilliant tactics and poor dice rolls will never succeed against poor tactics and good rolls." - me
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Sort of hopping, away, after the lanky beauty, while still looking back at Berenwyr You know, I was just thinking that somebody, well, I suppose, someone, after all, should make sure she finds her way out, you know, just being helpful and all. I mean, um, ahem, Caw, Caw, I say.
Chest?! My good sir. That is a Rowell and Marsdine, "County Oak in Sumersdale" collection, spring catalog, Wolston Wardrobe, with, I can assure you, the internal folding valet shelf and expandable tie rack. Not that I, um, you know, read the monthly newsletters. It was on sale last summer for 399.95, including free shipping.
Done and done sir! Now where did I put that pen...
"I, ahem, suppose anyone in possession of the ball at the appropriate time is capable of claiming said wish, correct? I mean, um, caw, yes, caw, caw. Sir, yes you, the stout fellow with the hammer, could I impose upon you for a minor favor? I seem to have lost a critical component of my clever disguise. Would you be so kind as to tie my beak back in place?" hmmm, I wonder how I will grasp the ball, perhaps by the husk, yes that seems correct
”What, carry this and drop it on the ground, certainly, sir, that would be less than difficult,” Mister Doctor Jasper says as he takes the flask in his fake beak and launches himself into the air.
I will pick –N,62 as “1” and count to eight clockwise, the gnoll with the ball is in “6” The flask lands to the left of the fleeing gnolls
"Great googly moogly! those gnolls look like they are part of the defensive line of the District 44 Hollow Tree Manglers! Harim, Teirist, you've got to stop them from raiding that tomb, I mean, *cough*, ahem, caw, I say, uh, yes, caw."
"Well this is quite the dilemma. Should we continue on to the east, where there is certainly the possibility of yet more uninteresting corridors, or venture a peek around the corner to the south and see what marvels lie in that direction. It is a conundrum, yes, a conundrum of serious proportions. I mean, um, caw, yes, yes, caw, I say.”
“I believed they were overcoming the counter locking weights, Master Berenwyr, and if they should all lift together, as you suggest, it should be difficult at first, but then become easy once the door is a few feet off the floor. The Rendering Expert is most certainly correct but I suspect the counter lever to correct the locking weights is on the other side, just out of our sight.”
"It is the universal signal known as 'No Nosees', or to signify, that I am not eligible to be selected for a requested task, Ahem, or to speak in the venacular of the present, Not it. Generally the last person to notice and place his or her finger to his or her nose, is responsible for the task."
Looking around the others with suspicion, Mister Doctor Jasper slowly extends his right wing and then turns it to touch the tip of the feathers to the tip of his nose.
The raven wearing the crow disguise hops with a delicate and somewhat pompous demeanor toward Jim and then looking sideways quickly and turning his head to one side and then the other, ensuring the fake beak is secured correctly he states, matter-of-factly I have a PhD in Esoteric Interplannar Cartography and Analysis as well as a PhD in culinary arts, but I am not a Medical Doctor, thus, like many of my closest friends who have graduated from Old DU, and taken a career as a guide and mentor to a fledgling Wizard, I am usually addressed by the title of Mister Doctor Hellispont, or often just Mister Doctor jasper, when less formal salutations are appropriate.
"Surely the order of ascent should be established based upon factors such as mental acuity, response to threat initiation and corrective image enhancement, and ability to communicate precise instructions in a crisis situation, and as such, obviously, I should be on the top next time instead of hidden away in Berenwyr’s robes. The order of the subspecies below me is really a matter of no consequence. However, I can clearly demonstrate that Jerrica is my preferred perch, for, uh, for, um, quiet practical reasons. Caw, I say, um, caw.”
“Great Scott!” the Doctor cries at the three men. “You’ve obviously purchased one of It DuPree’s infamous “Dungeon Exploration for Dummies” all purposes maps. While it is a very well crafted map, I’m sorry to inform you that it is, in fact, a map of the Caves of Chaos, a rather odd place where several different monster tribes all share a common cave complex. It is useless. But, do not despair, for my friend Berenwyr has been keeping an excellent map of Its “A” dungeon and I’m sure that together we can explore the unknown dangers with ease.” Just then an impossibly beautiful, full figured, raven haired damsel, with tiny wings and a wicked long tail pops into the room in a puff of acrid smoke and states, matter of fact-ly,
Dr. Mr. Jasper addresses Berenwyr, “I shall endeavor to be worthy of my assignment, sihr.”
“Well, what? What was I doing? I wasn’t doing anything. What?”
" *cough* *cough*, I believe that Elven is the common language, is it not? No, I jest, haha, I have recently been turned onto this wonderful program, developed by an old fraternity classmate of mine, Doctor Mister Pim Sleurr, a remarkable Toucan from the southern provinces, his methods are highly suspect, but the results of the program have proven to be quiet remarkable.”
A large raven hops along the floor next to Berenwyr. It is wearing a fake “beak” cleverly disguising itself as a “crow”. It cocks it’s head to one side and with one eye examines both doors one at a time, back and forth it shifts its head to look at one door and then the other and then it addresses Berenwyr in common. “Sir, I should like to say that I am not at all comfortable with the way the small door makes me feel. However, the regular sized door seems genuinely safe and I feel nothing uncertain about either its construction or operational characteristics. It then hops to the side, looks at the rest of the party and says, “Ahem, I mean, uh, CAW CAW, yes, that’s what I meant to say, naturally. “ |