KunninlyBrutal's page

Who'da thunk me an' the ladz wood finally make it as a kore an-sess-tree.

Almost bringz a tear ta me eye it does, or it wood if I waz kaypuble of cryin har har har.

Hah! I bet if da gunpowdah gang had a couple more Orcs dey wudn't 'ave been in so much trouble.

Dis new spirit reminds me of a bloke wot kept poppin up everywhere I went a while. Said ‘is name wuz Coppahwyze or sumfin an tellin me “We all float down ‘ere.”

I says ta ‘im “Look mate I alreddy am a propah fine swimmah, and I don’t know of any children’z parties wot need a clown, so kindly buzz off.”

‘E seemed a little miffed when I said it but seeing as ‘e ‘ad showed up ta my room in da inn un-in-vited (can’t bloody well fink ‘ow ‘e got in dere), ‘e didn’t really ‘ave a leg ta stand on.

Ay I mean, if yew don't want da extra nife, da ladz and I will gladly tayk it off ya handz.

Sounds like da pretty lady wot went missin iz comin back wif more pointy bitz, propah orc-like.

Next time dat bloke at da tavern axes me an Groktar to step fru 'is tellyporta or woteva 'e callz it, I mite just take 'im up on it if meanz I can get some new flash for me necksplitta.

HA! I bet if da lad Sajan ‘ad been wearin green and not sum nancy blue ‘e wud ‘ave fared bettah. Take it from da Orc, NEVAH bet against da bloke wearin green.

Da wun dat hits fings best o' kourse, da FOYTA

As wunna da fellow greenskinn’d peoplez we genrully get on alroyt wif em. O’ course dey ain’t as nachurally tuff or good-lookin as us Orcz but dey’re ded cunnin’ fer sure and pretty lite on dey feet

Deyz got a pretty dyverss culcha too, yew show wun gobbo a pile o’ wood an ‘e mite start a bonfoyah, anuva goblin mite start fiddlin an tinkerin about wif it an build sum sorta contrapshun or even a wooden shank for nickin anywun wot crosses ‘im. Hell, yew show a fird goblin dat same pile o’ lumber an ‘e mite eat da zoggin fing! Wot a byootiful talent dat iz, bein able to eat wateva u bloody well fancy eatin.

But Aye dygress, wot I’m tryna get at iz dat even doh goblins ‘ave a habit of bein sloytly unpredictabul and are usuallee pretty feisty, don’t judge ‘em too ‘arshly cuz at da end ov de day, deys just tryna get by like anywun else.

IT’Z BEEN ZOGGIN RELEASED, EVRYWUN GET IN ‘ERE

KunninlyBrutal wrote:

Royt so ferst off da animul instinkt ‘az da advantij of ‘avin dere ‘ands free fur shovin an trippin an genrully jostlin da ladz around shuld yew feel da inklinashun to do so. Furvermor, sum instinkts such az da ape get da grappul trayt on dere unarmd weppinz wich letz em apply oytem bonusez to da afflettikz chex wen dey’re shuvin an’ trippin an all dat fun stuff. Da elk an’ frog instinktz also get bilt in reech opshinz wich ar nun too shabby. Yew menshuned da mayn draw alreddee wich iz da fakt dat dey get bet’ah AYSEE den all da ovuh toypes ov instinkts, wich is furver boosted by da animul skin feet at levul six

Sekundlee, da monk dedikayshun is praktikally tayluh mayd fuh da animul instinkt. Feets loyk krushin grab, whurlin frow, an’ da krown jewul FLUR’EE OV BLOWS at levul ten ar strayt up inkredibul. Nuffin loyk rapidlee beetin da livin snot owtta some git wif yer fuk’uge ape fistz.

Translation:

"Right so first of the animal instinct has the advantage of having their hands free for Shoving and Tripping and generally jostling the lads about should you feel inclined do so so. Furthermore, some instincts such as the Ape get the Grapple trait on their unarmed weapons [sic] which lets them aply item bonuses to the Athletics check when they're Shoving and Tripping and all that fun stuff. The elk and frog instincts also get built-in reach options which are none too shabby. You mentioned the main draw already which is the fact that they get better AC than all the other types of Instincts, which is further boosted by the Animal Skin feat at level six.

Secondly, the monk dedications is practically tailor-made for the animal instinct. Feats like 'Crushing Grab', 'Whirling Throw' and the crown jewel 'Flurry of Blows' at level 10 are straight-up incredible. Nothing like rapidly beating the living snot outta some git with your fuk'uge [sic] ape fists.

Yer ‘ired, alwayz fanceed a scribe

Royt so ferst off da animul instinkt ‘az da advantij of ‘avin dere ‘ands free fur shovin an trippin an genrully jostlin da ladz around shuld yew feel da inklinashun to do so. Furvermor, sum instinkts such az da ape get da grappul trayt on dere unarmd weppinz wich letz em apply oytem bonusez to da afflettikz chex wen dey’re shuvin an’ trippin an all dat fun stuff. Da elk an’ frog instinktz also get bilt in reech opshinz wich ar nun too shabby. Yew menshuned da mayn draw alreddee wich iz da fakt dat dey get bet’ah AYSEE den all da ovuh toypes ov instinkts, wich is furver boosted by da animul skin feet at levul six

Sekundlee, da monk dedikayshun is praktikally tayluh mayd fuh da animul instinkt. Feets loyk krushin grab, whurlin frow, an’ da krown jewul FLUR’EE OV BLOWS at levul ten ar strayt up inkredibul. Nuffin loyk rapidlee beetin da livin snot owtta some git wif yer fuk’uge ape fistz.

DA FUZZEE BURD BOY MUST BE PROTEKTED AT ALL KOSTS

Dat cat looks ded ‘ard, ‘e wud giv anywun lookin fer a scrap a propah sortin oy rekkun.

ITZ ABOWT ZOGGIN TOYM!

Very ‘appee fuh dese too luvly laydeez.

Royt so 'eres da fing, us orcs got some ded tough 'ides royt, reeeeel fick skin if yur understandin wot oym layin down. Now for sum randum 'umie, corse da lad'z gunna nick 'imself just frowin it on 'is belt all 'ap'azerdly, 'umie skin ain't got da level of durabili'ee dat we've got.

Most da toym an orc loyks keepin 'is knuckel dagga noyse an' klose, an da ova choppy end lets us know dat we've still got it on us, cuz it ain't gonna cauze any diskomfort an' den we know we ain't left it in sum bloke wot we stabbed las week in da tavern fer callin us uglee.

Ahh jus' kiddin matey, oy know oym uglee. I stabbed dat tossah cuz 'e wuz tryna steel me grog.

I’m in this post and I DO like it.