Kat carefully lowers herself into the hole, suppressing a shudder of fear at the thought of falling. Wincing at the pain in her strained ass she climbs down the knotted rope.
She casts Dancing Lights and checks out her surroundings
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"Yes, Eloise and I are old friends from finishing school, in fact I was her tutor for a while. She's a lovely girl but she never quite mastered her hexes..." She bites her nails thoughtfully for a moment "I hadn't seen Eloise in years when she turned up in Woodenhead looking for some adventurer's to track down her wayward brother. Naturally I leaped at the chance to provide a service to my dear old friend and Crowley's Companions took up the contract. She punctuates the point by drawing the silver "C" sigil of her house in the air before her in silver strands of magical energy We fought our ways through hordes of bandits, demons and witches on your trail, saving your sister from deadly peril on a number of occasions. But the bonds of sisterly love are strong and undaunted by adversity we pressed on to that wretched hive of vice Andersport with all haste! She paces back in forth, pouding her fist into her hand with each exclaimation "Alas Andersport did not provide us with a warm welcome. No sooner had we stepped through the town gates when we were accosted by Paladin fanatics accusing us of consorting with devils! Under the most extreme questioning your dear retainer Leyland cracked and admitted to some minor indiscretion in his past - something minor that happened under the Chelaxians. Alas, this was enough to raise the suspicions of their inquisitor, an unjust brute of a fellow, and Lelyland has been taken into custody! They've taken him to Murchmanor to face justice - what manner of justice I know not... Wiping a tear from her eye she turns to Melthorpe and jabs at him with a finger "Your brave sister could not countenance abandoning her beloved retainer to his fate and determined to accompany him to his trial to ensure his fair reinstatement. Her heart was torn at the thought of abandoning her quest for her beloved brother but, such is the trust between us that she trusted me with this noble mission. She turns away and stares out to sea... "Alas, fate has not been kind to us. The vessel that was to return us to the mainland has been wrecked and we seem beset by devils on all sides! Our very survival hangs in the balance!" Spinning on her heel she grabs Melthorpe by his shoulders and shakes him "Melthorpe Madrigal, on your family's honor we must return to the mainland at once and come to the aid of your sister and your beloved Leyland! My sword and those of my companions are at your service in this most noble endevour!" Striking a suitably dramatic pose and awaits Mels reaction He shoots a glance over to Mel."Listen, do ye know young Mel, have ye some sway with him?
Kat hesitates for a moment "Uh...weeeeell our ORIGINAL plan was to find Mel and escort him to his sister in Murchmanor. We found Mel so I guess our plan is to get off this island..." Kat is momentarily distracted by Puku's frantic grave digging efforts "...and not ending up dead like your pal there. What happened here anyway?" The man opens his mouth to answer but Kat interrupts "Hey our friends from the Skippebble had a boat! They were bringing it here to deliver your supplies, have you seen them?"
Kat sidles out from cover and approaches the beckoning Puku. As she gets near she notices the double-headed crane, the dark hair the comely features. "Melthorpe Madrigal?? Mel?" She breaks into a run and basically leaps at the dude, wrapping her arms around his neck "We've been looking everywhere for you! Eloise sent us!" she babbles "We gotta get back to Andersport! Leyland is in trouble!" Disentangling herself from the startled youth she attempts to regain her composure "So.... do you guys have a boat? Ours kind of got smashed by a giant lizard..."
Kat squints earnestly at the distant figure Shining steel! A warrior! Is he hot?
"Hey Hon! Time to get up!" Kat rubs her bleary eyes and sits up, she had been dreaming of swimming in a sea of warm, sticky wine.. or was it blood?
Thok-Mur-El's voice chirps cheerfully inside her head "Boy I'm famished! Are you sure you couldn't slide into that big green guys heart? Maybe just for a little bit? he's sleeping, he wouldn't even notice..." Kat groans " Cayden's balls! I told you blade, Puku is a friend! If what I read at the academy was true where theres one demon there's a hundred! This island is probably crawling with them! There'll be plenty of nasty souls for you to drink soon enough!"
"If you say so hon!" Kat sits down with her spellbook and begins the complicated process of cramming the squirming arcane symbols into her mind. She concentrates on some notes she has scrabbled in the margin, an invisibility spell? Not quite..
She notices something moving out of the corner of her eye. A small dark shape scuttles into the stone crusher room.
Drawing her sword she sneaks over to investigate. To her horror a cockroach the size of a small dog is gnawing on the limb arm of one of the slain miners "Ew! Gross!" She lashes out with her sword at the vermin "Oh boy!" Thok-Mur-El squeals - the scimitar seems to shimmer for a moment as oily black flames writhe along the blade. Kat eyes widen! Necromancy!
The ruby at the swords hilt glows red for a moment and seems to strike of its own volition.
Kat thrusts at the bug but the weight of the sword drags her arm down. The bug scuttles away unharmed "Aw nuts! We nearly had em!" The dark flames gutter out "Say, we aren't gonna get far if you use me like you did your little pig sticker!" The sword jiggles in her grip "But all I ever learnt was fencing, and I'm not strong enough to use use you like a rapier!" Kat whines "Aw heck girl! You don't have to be strong! You just gotta be quick! More importantly, you gotta have style! Try using me again, this time with some fancy foot work" With the encouragement and advice of Thok-Mur-El Kat soon gains confidence wielding the black blade. A combination of skips, feints and twirls allows her to use her momentum to slash with the blade with great force
"Great work honey! I think we're gonna have a lot of fun together!" Thok-Mur-El laughs "But seriously, I gotta feed soon or I'm liable to lose my f~#$ing mind..."
"Puku! The Skippebble! Can you see it! Where's Steady Kenn! Is everyone OK!" Kat winces as she puts weight on her injured ankle "Orna, babe. Can you have a look at my ankle? I think I twisted it..."
"Well lads, tomorrow we venture TO THE ISLAND OF DOOM!!!" Kat secures her newly purchased pot CLW to her belt " We've done our shopping and are almost ready to go. Only one question remains... WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR!" She scans the motley collection of market stalls before zeroing in on a trestle table laden with nautical nick-nacks. Digging though a moldering sack of Andorran naval parephenalia she draws out a slightly ridiculous bicorn hat with a cry of triumph. She dons the chapeau with a flourish and tosses the bored looking stallholder a silver piece. "Perfect! She adjusts the hat to a jaunty angle " Now that we've lined our bellies sufficiently I suggest we spend the rest of the afternoon examining the bottoms of several tankards of ale. Cayden's church considers it a sin to embark on an adventure without a hangover of some sort. To the Captain's Repose at once!"
Remembering what is clutched in his sweaty palm, Puku runs back to the group and hands to Kat the wooden token, which is to be used for the return of their goods from the hostelry. "Oh, and one more thing" Kat smiles and flutters her eyelashes coquettishly "I may be a lady but i ain't your b*~+#. I'm not gonna fetch your junk for you. If Orna's in trouble I may need my blade. If you really care more about your guts than your friend then lets go cash in this chip in together and we can go our separate ways and meet up later"
"Hey big guy!" She jabs a finger at Orto " Where's your friend Lenny crawled off to? Orna took quite a shine to him, maybe she wanted to make sure he got home safe..."
"C'mon sis, you had a rough night eh, screaming bloody murder an' all that, come get a feed!" Spake a bewildered Puku "No time for capers with a empty guts eh!" "Nah-uh!" Placing a hand on her hip and waggling her finger under Puku's nose Kat chides her boorish companion "Listen up Duckbunny, I ain't going anywhere till I find out what happened to Orna last night! Cayden's Cups! She's our friend, healer and spiritual mentor ! For all we know she could be floating face down in the harbor right now!" "You dummies can go stuff your craws with mystery meat but I will not rest till my flaky little guru is babbling nonsense at my side!" She rubs her belly thoughtfully "Besides, I've had my carb allowance for today..."
"Well, I may not know this guy from a Roving Mauler BUT I FEEL STRANGLEY COMPELLED TO TAKE AN INTEREST IN HIM SO I CAN GET ON WITH MY DAY" "Poke-ooh" Kat flutters her lashes at the jade juggernaught "How about you sling this sack-o-spuds over your shoulder and we'll head off to the hostelry. Maybe someone will recognize him along the way and claim him..."
" What's this? The raven-haired hipster draws forth a pearlecent card holder from the depth of the foaming strangers' robes. She filcks it open and examines the impressive business card within. "Hey! This guy's some big-shot lawyer from Absalom! She rolls her eyes dramatically " How useful would a lawyer have been when we were arguing with those lame paladins" She flicks the card disdainfully at the still twitching body
"Aw, hell no! I love these things!" Kat rushes up to a brightly coloured stall and throws a copper piece at the bored looking owner "TornadoPotato!" She spins slowly on her heel as she gobbles it up Apparicio suddenly collapses, jerking and twitching in the dust and straining out bestial, idiot grunts between vice-clenched teeth. "Woah, pony boy, what's up?" Kat manages to work the stick of her tornado potato between Apparicio's teeth "There was a girl at shcool who had fits like this, you just gotta let em' run thier course" She scratches her chin thoughtfully "Who the fvck is this guy anyway?" She starts rummaging through his pockets "Can't leaving him wrigglin' in the dirt like this - maybe he's got family in town" !!NOT REALLY THOUGH!!
Kat places a cold hand on the man-orcs mighty BARE forearm " Seriously, I really need to talk to her..." Her red-rimmed eyes well up momentarily "...about THE UNIVERSE!"
"I'd really like to find Orna" Kat whispers, tugging on Puku's sleeve "Maybe she hooked up with Lenny?"
"Inquisitor.." Kat sidles up to Puku and addresses the paladin with a raspy croak " I must say I enjoyed our little...chat. I would love to have heard more of your adventures. If we must part, I do hope it will be on....frendly terms." She pushes back the hood of her cloak and flinches from the bright morning light. She seems pale and drawn, her eyes are red-rimmed and contain a certain spark that was not evident before her ordeal. "Your intention in coming here was investigating the pesh trade, no? I have furnished you with an excellent lead in the form of the presence and location of a pesh plantation not one days ride from here." She breaks into a fit of hacking coughs, finally gobbing a bloodied mass of sputum onto the ground. She examines it thoughtfully for a moment before continuing. "In the course of your investigations you have uncovered a certain past indiscretion of our dear retainer, Leyland. I would never presume to tell a cleric such as yourself how to do his job but it seems the aid we have provided Iomedes warriors in thier righteous crusade far outweighs the foolish, but well meant actions of our companion. Surely a few days quiet contemplation of his sins in the chapel will be sufficient to absolve him of his sins. I assure you. We are commited to keeping him on the straight and narrow from now on" She raises a shaking hand to brush a way an errant lock of hair "Oh, have you had the chance to release that poor farmer from his torment?"
Kat peers out from her cloak, desperately trying to spot Orna in the crowd.
Kat flinches at Apparicio's hearty greeting and remains silent, drawing her cloak tighter around her.
Kat looks like she has just come off the mother of all benders: she peers nervously out from under the hood of her tattered cloak with red-rimmed eyes. She has spoken little since waking this morning, asking only as to the whereabouts of Orna.
He turns slightly so the red face of Kat is visible over his broad shoulder, "But shes a bit fukced eh." Kat's eyes are red rimmed and bulging
" MMMM MMMM HMHMMHMMMMHMHMHMH!!!!"
"MMMMM?! MMMMMMMM HMHMHMHMHMMMMM!!"
Kat's eyes snap open and she struggles into a sitting position, could she regained control of her faculties ?
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAA...ugh....BWAaaaaaa...ugh!" Kat appears to have screamed herself hoarse, her cries abate and are replaced with racking sobs.
"Why wont...you..let...me....die...."
THE UNIVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Kats' pupils dilate wildly, the self-destructive force seems to be regaining strength. "Where's ORNA!? I need ORNA! She understands how THE UNIVERSE works! ORNA!! OOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! " Kat lapses back into madness once more
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Kat screams and struggles at her bonds "THE UNIVERSE WANTS ME TO DIE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
GM:
Rules for casting while grappled Yeah I looked up the rules for this and all of her spells have a somatic component so there really isn't anything she can do other than try to break the grapple BUT she doesn't know that, she's TRIPPING BALLS so I guess she'll try anyway This effect has a set duration so you will be wanting to escape and expediently bring an end to your life until I declare the effect has ended. I suspected as much. Perversely, I'm kind of enjoying this now Kat will use her escape artist skill (3) to try and break the grapple next turn Kat struggles in the giant's grasp, screaming into his palm "LLLLHHHH MMHHH GHHH! MMM GHHHHHH FHHHHH!MHHH HUHHUHHHUHHH MHHH HHHH!!!!"
"Calm down sis! Don't be a d!ck!" Kat struggles in Puku's vice-like grasp GM:
The Universe wants this! I gotta be fee. I got get...get..get.greasy!
Kat mumbles into Puku's giant palm to no avail. In frustration she tries biting his hand. Kat attempts to chomp on Puku's hand
Kat bites her own tongue instead! GM:
GM:
No Dice
Kat suddenly remembers her brief brush with death in the damp, reeking hole in Oldtree. The UNIVERSE wanted her to die but her friends brought her back. The skull,the skull, the skull it wants to put things right! Falling, falling, falling - freedom for a moment then oblivion. Yes, yes yes the UNIVERSE wants this. Kat lurches drunkenly to her hands and knees. Her eyes burn bright with terror through the matted hair plastered to her face. She lets out a wild scream, leaps to her feet and lurches off at speed towards the balcony
She pulls the skull away from her ear. "Ha ha! He likes you! What do you say, how's about a drop...?" Kat's red-rimmed eyes track the tiny skull intently
"We got the whole night ahead of us and I got a lot of catching up to do! Gimme a hit!"
Kat is slumped at the table, staring mesmerised at the play of thaumaturgic energy about Velsharoon's vial. At the mention of her name she is able to drag her eyes away for a moment to see Orto comatose on the ground and Puku beating his chest in victory. "We won? We Won!" Kat leaps onto the table and points a finger dramatically at the bell which, with the application of her mage hand, starts ringing out a steady beat. Caught up in the moment and still feeling the effects of the 'erb Kat attempts a victory dance!
Things start well, but start to go awry as her movements intensify. Unused to the effects of the drug she loses her focus and gets dizzy. Coming to a stop mid pose, she sways for a moment "Barkeep, Gimme a beer!"
Kat stares slack-jawed at the tiny flask. Almost instinctively she casts detect magic...
Nah, it was kind of lame anyway
"You gotta pass it to your left cuz, thats the rules eh." Kat takes a tentative toke.. Fort save: Her eyes widen and she coughs - but not too embarrassingly
She passes it to Orto "This might help with your creativity..."
"Hey where's that joint you bunch of hori's!" Hollered Puku with a laugh. Kat is surprised to find she is holding the blunt in her hand. She quickly shoves the end in Puku's mouth and, noticing it has gone out, wiggles her fingers at it before decisively jabbing with her finger. The silver sigil of the House of Crowley flares silver for a moment before fading away to leave a glowing orange coal at the end of the bammy.
"What would great aunt Walperga say if she saw this " She giggles
Without taking his gaze off the smooth face of his rival, Puku mutters aside to Kat... "Nah man, gotta drink it up eh..." Kat mutters "so much for showmanship" Kat wiggles her nose and the sound of tearing canvas, followed by an unhealthy bubbling sound emanates from the supine form of Lenny
" It seems master findfault has lost control of himself, perhaps he should be removed to the balcony to recover and not offend the noses of the gentle ladies present?
Orto slides the mostly full jar of Skull Splitter across the table towards Puku. Kat leans over to Orna and whispers "Orna, love, could you give Puku a bit of a back massage, maybe chuck in a bit of luck if you know what I mean " Kat winks conspiratorially before quickly adding " Oh, and lets keep it a secret, eh? The universe want us to win but Puku is looking a little worse for wear yeah.. ssssssssh " Kat now turns to Puku "Ok champ, we can do this, now we got that little creep out of the way its two against one. I got a plan for the remains of the Skull Splitter. Here's what we do; scull the drink and try not to barf but leave a little in you mouth when you're done. I'll get the mage hand to hold a taper above you and I want you to blow the rest of the drink at it in a spray - there's a bit of lantern oil in there so it should make a pretty show" Kat looks around at the close-pressed crowd "don't blow too much, we wouldn't want to start a fire or burn anyone yeah" Pause for reaction from Puku and Orna...
Kat smiles to the crowd and holds the cup out in front of her. "Hah! Child's play! I can do it with no hands!" She mutters a quick syllable and the goblet shudders and raises slowly out of her hand!
She leans back in her chair nonchalantly, opens her mouth and the levitating tankard pours the vile liquid down her gullet...
... with no problem whatsoever! The cup descends to the table. A napkin is whisked up from the table, as if by it's own volition, and daintily dabs the corners of Kat's grinning mouth. "Ah, a fine brew! Well Master Findfault, if a frail wee girl like me can throw one of these back then surely a big burly sailor like you can match me? Mistress Shelkie! Half a drink for the half a man!"
"But I dont have any weed sis..."
"Having fun yet, my lads?" yells Shelkie. "Round three! Name a drink, wanderer!" Kat leaps up from her seat to address the crowd Hah! Your civilized drinks are no match for the stomach of my savage companion! Cayden strike me down if he was not suckled by a womanticore and weaned on black lotus root! Let's try a little number the savages sup before breakfast - the Ngaruwahia Skull Splitter! Barkeep if you please, 2 parts vodka, 1 part absinthe, half a cup of vinegar and a dash of lantern oil!" Kat turns to address Ortho and Lenny "Of course in savage society it is traditional to take a big fat hoon of the sacred weed after throwing back the skull splitter, I'm sure you'll have no objections?"
"Against that: FIFTY gold!" he adds with relish.
Kat is draining her tankard as Lenny says this - her eyes widen and spits out a spray of ale "50gp! You rate the value of your assistance very high indeed hobbit! 20gps and not a penny more! "
Kat leaps onto a chair next to Puku and addresses the throng of punters "Champion of Crowley's Companions, Puku.....Savage! He could drink a Andorran platoon under the table and smoke enough cones to make a red dragon choke! He's just walked in from Woodenhead and has a mighty thirst!" Kat raises her brimming tankard to the crowd "May Cayden Cailean bless this place of worship and may the best manorc win!" Kat pours out a dribble of ale in honour of her god before draining her vessel heartily
Puku drums his broad belly with his fingers and beams toothily from ear to ragged ear... "Aw yip!" Meanwhile, Kat nurses her tankard of ale trying to reconcile her mental image of Mel with the less than flattering description that Lenny provided. Could they be the same person? Surely not, if Eloise is anything to go by. But maybe these guys can help us, at least show us around town. The big guy seems alright but that little guy is a bit of dick... I'll bet he'll want a ton of cash for any help Overhearing Puku and Lenny's banter Kat is struck by inspiration "That's right Lenny, my boy Puku here could drink any one of you under the table and still and smash as many dots as you could throw at him. How about a battle of livers? My boy Puku wins, you help us with finding our friend, free of charge. Whaddya say?"
"I thought spending time with Orthogus here had inured me to idiocy! But through your friend I have glimpsed a whole new desert of the mind, a barren wasteland I'd not dared imagine before!"
We only make the cargo run out to the Yellow Isle and back, the Skippebble is not a ship for the high seas.” Kat scratches her chin thoughtfully "Yellow isle eh?" Does Kat know anything about this place? Knowledge Geo at +4 thnx "The Skippebble sure doesn't look like it's from around here, where is your home port? Magnimar?" ”I see you’ve been brought in by the whitecloaks.” Kat rolls her eyes and whispers in a low voice " I know, those old fuddy duddies accosted us on the way into town. Just had an interview with the Inquisitor, he seemed nice enough..." Kat straightens up and speaks a bit louder " I am sure you have noticed my fair traveling companion, Mistress Eloise" Kat gestures to Eloise, who is presumably suffering Orna's attention " It is for her sake that we have traveled to this gods-forsaken berg. We are on quest to track down her brother, a wistful fellow named Melthorpe, though he seems to go by the name of Mel these days. He's tall, witty and, as he bears a strong resemblance to Eloise, quite attractive. Oh, and all animals attack him on sight... Perhaps you've seen him around?'
"Shy, huh? Well you are gonna have to pay the ULTIMATE price!" Kat sidles up to the table and whispers in Orna's ear "Orna, babe. Eloise is pretty nervous about this interview, she's really upset. I've tried talking to her but it's no good. I think she might need some inspiration from the universe, yeah?" Diplomacy roll to get Orna outta these guy's hair if required Assuming that the hobbit shows some gratitude for me getting rid of Orna Kat addresses the hobbit in a low, conspiratorial tone "Orna's a sweet girl, really, but she sometimes doesn't take a hint. My name's Kat, pleased to meetcha. That's some tub you guys have got there - how fast does it go?" Diplomacy roll to make a good first impression if required
"Hey who are them what Orna's talking to? That green fulla seems a bit flash eh! Ho look at his ears, what an egg!" "Hah! Looks like Orna has got designs for that poor little guy! Gods help him. That other guy looks like a sailor, yeah? I wonder what ship they came in on? Did Kat notice any big ships or such at anchor on her way up? If not she might go have a look from the balcony. "Maybe they've seen Mel? We should ask them, yeah?" What is Eloise doing?
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