Next time we stumble across unexplained objects with the taint of death energies they stay behind, okay?
"Fie to that! What was it that my Uncle used to say? Ah yes "Necromancy doesn't kill people, Necromancers kill people!"
She takes a swig of her tankard
"Seriously though. Imagine what could have happened if we left that junk back at the hut? If some numpty got their hands on it they could have caused all kinds of problems. Besides that poor farmer would still be stuck in that orb thing. Ach, it still gives me the willies thinking about it. Here's hoping these paladins can unenchant that thing and speed his passage to Cayden's hall or Erastil's fields or whatever..."
"Well, next time we smash it, bury it, or put it up a tree or something," says Eloise, "I don't know." She pouts.
Kat allows the awkward pause to ride and takes the opportunity to casually evaluate the strangers in the room.
The half-orc and the hobbit are plainly sailors - they aren't saying much and what they say, they say quietly - so no chance to place their accents at this point. The hobbit starts up a new tune on his pan-pipes.
At the other table, the mother and father are talking. Plainly they are locals. The elder boy pushes food around on his plate and the younger watches his parents with wide ears and eyes.
"We're not ready," says Dad. "Mayor oughta get some masons in and make the walls strong again, nay, stronger! They'll be back again. It's like my granda' use ta say - kill a dozen fishmen on the shore? There's a hundred more as stayed home makin' babies. Always more slimeys in the sea, it's the truth, and one days they'll take a notion to come for us again."
"Oh hush, you're scaring Pally."
Several minutes pass. The waitress you saw earlier comes back with little copper buckets full of steamed clams, a pitcher and some rude clay goblets.
The pitcher contains a thin, dark green fluid. "Kelp wine!"
Orna drops from her seat to the floor with an audible "whoomph" and wanders over to where the sailors are sitting. She starts swaying and clicking her fingers and tapping her feet along to the hobbit's rather amateurish piping. This almost immediately throws him and he stops.
"Lass! Your rhythm is just slightly off, it's turned me about entirely."
Orna keeps the beat going unaccompanied and starts humming a simple four-note refrain over and over.
The hobbit runs his fingers over the pipes and ostentatiously peers through each aperture, harrumphing and sucking air through his teeth.
"Ah, there's a hairline cracks all over this thing, it's flawed through! I told you that merchant was a shyster, Orto! Didn't I say so?"
"Mister, that was neat! Pray, continue!" says Orna, still tapping her foot. "Do you know the Ballad of Hollis and the Wyvern King?"
"That derivative rubbish? Do I know it, yes! Will I play it, never! The meter is atrocious, and half the lines have too many syllables so you have to sing it super quickly and run them all together."
He shakes his head.
"A hack job, disgraceful!"
He looks thoughtful a moment.
"Hey, do you want to buy these pan-pipes?" he asks Orna.
The half-orc remains aloof from this but looks amused.
Around this time the cabin door swings open and Puku steps out onto the deck, looking none the worse for wear.
Inquisitor Meesham pops his head out after.
"Lady Crowley!" he calls, "would you be so kind as to join me?"
Puku makes a beeline for the clams and sits down licking his lips. He picks up a copper bowl and begins eating up clams, shell and all.
"Hey Miss, Miss! Bring us some more of these eh!" He said poking a thick sausage finger at the bowls. From his coinpurse he pulled a few silvers and flicked them onto the table, a gesture to ensure the waitress that Puku was legit.
Inquisitor Meesham pops his head out after.
"Lady Crowley!" he calls, "would you be so kind as to join me?"
Kat drains the last of her drink, slams down the tankard on the table and saunters off to the anteroom.
Kat enters the cabin and the door shuts.
Puku gets stuck into the clams, which are fresh and delicious. Leyland cringes as fragments of shell whicker past his face at speed.
Eloise has a sip of the kelp wine, pulls a face and gingerly sets down the goblet and pushes it a few inches away from herself with two fingers.
"I take it he didn't brand you with hot irons then..." she says.
Orna continues to happily pester the hobbit sailor while he scowls and chides her for her foolish opinions. The half-orc is looking on and smirking to himself.
One of the junior paladins comes upstairs and has a quiet word in Sergeant Frewen's ear.
Kat emerges from the cabin after a quarter hour or so.
Puku seems to have been focused entirely on eating during this time and three of the copper buckets that the clams are served in are stacked in front of him, amidst a mess of fragments of clam shell.
Kat tells Leyland that the Inquisitor would like to see him next and the lanky man stands, wipes his palms on his hose and sets off into the cabin. The door clicks shut behind him.
Two of the junior paladins are now sitting with Sergeant Frewen, talking in low tones and keeping their eyes on the party.
Orna is having a conversation with the hobbit sailor, his attitude is plainly that of utter exasperation whereas she seems typically cheerful. The other sailor, the big half-orc, is not at the table anymore.
The family that were dining earlier have left.
A breeze is bringing the clean tang of salt-water from off-shore.
Before she leaves Kat has something to say tot he inquisitor
"Man, I gotta say, I was pretty nervous talking to you but you seem like a stand up guy. I hope we get the chance to talk shop sometime - that Paupers Lich business sounds real interesting. Let me know how you go with the Farmer's head, yeah?
Kat saunters over to the table and tries in vain to find some clams for herself
"Well Poke-ew, I see your appetite is back. You must be nearly recovered from your near death experience, yeah"
Kat is gonna wait for Eloise to have her chat with the Inquisitor before going anywhere.
I'm not sure that Kat and Puku have even had a conversation yet - Puku has been asleep, unconscious or otherwise engaged pretty much the whole trip. Probably a good time to have a chat,eh?
So Puku, what did he ask you about? He grilled me on Malek's hut. I guess they're really not into this pesh stuff. You ever heard of it before?"
Meanwhile the half-orc sailor comes up the stairs with three flagons and sets them down at his table. He motions to Orna to indicate that one is for her.
You can't help but overhear loud hisses of protest and dismay from the hobbit sailor.
The half-orc, with a tusky grin, leans over and ruffles his hair. The hobbit squirms and thrashes like a cat being dragged to water.
Orna hops up into a chair at their table and takes a swig of drink.
So Puku, what did he ask you about? He grilled me on Malek's hut. I guess they're really not into this pesh stuff. You ever heard of it before?"
Puku takes a huge draught of his ale and sighs with great pleasure. Kat notices the small shards of clamshell all over his face as he turns his amber eyes to her.
"Aye, he axed me about pesh too eh, said to steer clear of that shi.t, Come to think of it, some of the boys up at the camps may have mentioned it but im content as with electric puha eh. My uncle says who knows whats in some of them weird townie drugs, he says its a waste of money when you can just grow puha at home eh! Anyway, the old fella in there seemed to think we were a bunch of Nepromanglers, he wanted to know about ghosts or somefing. I dont think he was speaking common most of the time but he seems like a nice fulla though eh." He takes another swig of his beer and looks over to Orna at the sailors' table."Hey who are them what Orna's talking to? That green fulla seems a bit flash eh! Ho look at his ears, what an egg!"
"Hey who are them what Orna's talking to? That green fulla seems a bit flash eh! Ho look at his ears, what an egg!"
"Hah! Looks like Orna has got designs for that poor little guy! Gods help him. That other guy looks like a sailor, yeah? I wonder what ship they came in on?
Did Kat notice any big ships or such at anchor on her way up? If not she might go have a look from the balcony.
"Maybe they've seen Mel? We should ask them, yeah?"
What is Eloise doing?
Did Kat notice any big ships or such at anchor on her way up? If not she might go have a look from the balcony.
Yep, remember when you crossed town you went uphill for a bit and saw the following:
From your vantage you can see the fishing fleet of Andersport, little skiffs drawn up on the beach outside the walls. There is also two large wooden docks jutting some way out from the sea wall, with berths for several larger ships, but only a couple are in port. One of them is of a curious design, having a chimney, and two great paddle-wheels attached port and starboard.
The other one was a brig of pretty ordinary design.
"Maybe they've seen Mel? We should ask them, yeah?"What is Eloise doing?
She's jumping all up in your conversation
"Good thinking," says Eloise, "we have to start somewhere."
"Shy, huh? Well you are gonna have to pay the ULTIMATE price!"
Kat sidles up to the table and whispers in Orna's ear
"Orna, babe. Eloise is pretty nervous about this interview, she's really upset. I've tried talking to her but it's no good. I think she might need some inspiration from the universe, yeah?"
Diplomacy roll to get Orna outta these guy's hair if required
Assuming that the hobbit shows some gratitude for me getting rid of Orna
Kat addresses the hobbit in a low, conspiratorial tone "Orna's a sweet girl, really, but she sometimes doesn't take a hint. My name's Kat, pleased to meetcha. That's some tub you guys have got there - how fast does it go?"
Diplomacy roll to make a good first impression if required
"Shy, huh? Well you are gonna have to pay the ULTIMATE price!"Kat sidles up to the table and whispers in Orna's ear
"Orna, babe. Eloise is pretty nervous about this interview, she's really upset. I've tried talking to her but it's no good. I think she might need some inspiration from the universe, yeah?"
Diplomacy roll to get Orna outta these guy's hair if required
"Okay!" says Orna loudly, neglecting to match your whisper. "Maybe you can work on THIS guy for me, he's got a really negative attitude! You can see the sadness in his eyes, it's heartbreaking! He could use a copy of my book..."
She pops down from her chair, grabs her tankard and toddles over back to your table.
Kat eases down into the vacated chair.
"Bravo!" says the fox-faced hobbit, scratching furiously at his scalp with one hand.
"I thought spending time with Orthogus here had inured me to idiocy! But through your friend I have glimpsed a whole new desert of the mind, a barren wasteland I'd not dared imagine before!"
He shakes his head.
"I have low expectations of people but those have just been shattered. Already I find you charming beyond measure, purely by virtue of contrast."
His praise is clearly laced with scorn and insincerity, but he does seem genuinely grateful that you have diverted Orna from "working on" him.
The half-orc chuckles.
"I thought she was alright."
He smirks at the hobbit.
"Orna's a sweet girl, really, but she sometimes doesn't take a hint. My name's Kat, pleased to meetcha.
"I'm Orto," says the half-orc. His voice is deep and gravelly, but he speaks with a soft pitch.
"Lestiffer Finley", says the hobbit, and he takes a swig of his drink."Better known as Lenny Findsfault,” adds Orto. ”The handle says a lot.”
"That's some tub you guys have got there - how fast does it go?"
Diplomacy roll to make a good first impression if required
The two exchange amused glances at this. Kat supposes her mastery of nautical slang might not be as good as she’d hoped.
“You’ve seen the Skippebble, then?” says Lenny, “Our good Captain’s “New Model Liner” – she’s packed with innovations, it’s true, but they’re as much use as teats on a breastplate. I’ll say only that she can go faster than it’s ever been safe to sail her. We only make the cargo run out to the Yellow Isle and back, the Skippebble is not a ship for the high seas.”Orto winces slightly at this.
“Ah, she has her qualities...” he offers.
”I see you’ve been brought in by the whitecloaks.” Orto says, sotto voce, twitching a finger towards the paladins. He brings his tankard up, as if to drink, so it covers his mouth. ”Stay wary o’ that lot and jus’ tell them what they want to hear,” he mutters. “They keepin’ a couple of boys locked up, down in the hold. Couple of boys that said the wrong things.”
Lenny clears his throat loudly and rolls his eyes skyward.
"I thought spending time with Orthogus here had inured me to idiocy! But through your friend I have glimpsed a whole new desert of the mind, a barren wasteland I'd not dared imagine before!"
We only make the cargo run out to the Yellow Isle and back, the Skippebble is not a ship for the high seas.”
Kat scratches her chin thoughtfully "Yellow isle eh?"
Does Kat know anything about this place? Knowledge Geo at +4 thnx
"The Skippebble sure doesn't look like it's from around here, where is your home port? Magnimar?"
”I see you’ve been brought in by the whitecloaks.”
Kat rolls her eyes and whispers in a low voice " I know, those old fuddy duddies accosted us on the way into town. Just had an interview with the Inquisitor, he seemed nice enough..."
Kat straightens up and speaks a bit louder " I am sure you have noticed my fair traveling companion, Mistress Eloise" Kat gestures to Eloise, who is presumably suffering Orna's attention " It is for her sake that we have traveled to this gods-forsaken berg. We are on quest to track down her brother, a wistful fellow named Melthorpe, though he seems to go by the name of Mel these days. He's tall, witty and, as he bears a strong resemblance to Eloise, quite attractive. Oh, and all animals attack him on sight... Perhaps you've seen him around?'
Kat scratches her chin thoughtfully "Yellow isle eh?"Does Kat know anything about this place? Knowledge Geo at +4 thnx
Dice roll...
You've never heard of it.
"The Skippebble sure doesn't look like it's from around here, where is your home port? Magnimar?"
"Magnimar? Why would it be Magnimar?" Lenny snaps.
Orto shakes his head.
"River Kingdoms somewhere. I forget."
"We signed on in Absalom, about a year back," offers Lenny. "Can't believe that bucket it made it so many leagues and still afloat, and me alive to sip the stinky air of Andersport."
He shrugs.
"There's no accounting for luck."
Kat straightens up and speaks a bit louder " I am sure you have noticed my fair traveling companion, Mistress Eloise" Kat gestures to Eloise, who is presumably suffering Orna's attention " It is for her sake that we have traveled to this gods-forsaken berg. We are on quest to track down her brother, a wistful fellow named Melthorpe, though he seems to go by the name of Mel these days. He's tall, witty and, as he bears a strong resemblance to Eloise, quite attractive. Oh, and all animals attack him on sight... Perhaps you've seen him around?'
Dice roll...
The pair exchange glances again.
"Might be we seen him." says Orto.
"Maybe so, maybe no," says Lenny. "Feller I'm thinking of doesn't quite match the description, too maudlin to be witty, yet too petulant to be properly thought 'wistful'... and handsome? Arguably, I suppose - good bone structure, sure, but his hair is lank and oily, so his skin shines greasy about the brow-line. It's quite repulsive once you notice it. Tall? Well, you're all tall to me. Probably not the guy, hmmm, Orthogus?"
"Probably not," says Orto, looking over at the paladins, apparently without interest.
A crafty look steals over the face of Lenny Findsfault.
"You've come a long ways, I'd hate to send you to a stranger. Suppose it might be worth something if we could track your man down?"
Meanwhile, Leyland emerges from the cabin with a doleful look on his face.
He walks back to his table, where Eloise is getting what appears to be a pretty decent shoulder and neck massage from Orna, who stands on a chair behind her.
Puku is gazing contentendly into the night, hands resting on his belly, listening to the crash of waves on the beach.
Leyland sits down.
"Miss Orna, the Inquisitor would like to interview you next, I do encourage you to tell him the exact and total truth. I'm sure he'll be comparing our stories."
"You told him the truth, didn't you, Mr Puku?" he asks nervously.
Orna quickly flicks the residual invisible tension-energies away from Eloise's shoulders and onto the floor, then toddles off into the cabin.
"You told him the truth, didn't you, Mr Puku?" he asks nervously.
Puku's attention immediately turns to Leyland and after a short pause he responds in monotone "Aw yip."
The two hold each others gaze for a moment then Puku clamps his massive hands on the table and rises to stretch his legs.
Whistling through the large gaps in his jsgged teeth, he approaches Kat and her new aquaintences.
"Gday you'se fullas," He turns to Orto and bobs his eyebrows "Kiaora, om Puku,"
Okay so for clarity, Puku basically arrives just as Lenny Findsfault is saying...
"You've come a long ways, I'd hate to send you to a stranger. Suppose it might be worth something if we could track your man down?"
...and this line of conversation is briefly interrupted.
"Gday you'se fullas," He turns to Orto and bobs his eyebrows "Kiaora, om Puku,"
"Orto," says Orto, watching the other man-orc with eyes half-lidded.
"Lestiffer Finley.""Call him Lenny," rumbles Orto. Lenny sighs ostentatiously.
A momentary pause.
"Seems like a man your size could carry several full tankards with no trouble, would that be right?" asks Lenny with a smirk.
Puku drums his broad belly with his fingers and beams toothily from ear to ragged ear... "Aw yip!"
Puku drums his broad belly with his fingers and beams toothily from ear to ragged ear... "Aw yip!"
Meanwhile, Kat nurses her tankard of ale trying to reconcile her mental image of Mel with the less than flattering description that Lenny provided.
Could they be the same person? Surely not, if Eloise is anything to go by. But maybe these guys can help us, at least show us around town. The big guy seems alright but that little guy is a bit of dick... I'll bet he'll want a ton of cash for any help
Overhearing Puku and Lenny's banter Kat is struck by inspiration
"That's right Lenny, my boy Puku here could drink any one of you under the table and still and smash as many dots as you could throw at him. How about a battle of livers? My boy Puku wins, you help us with finding our friend, free of charge. Whaddya say?"
Overhearing Puku and Lenny's banter Kat is struck by inspiration"That's right Lenny, my boy Puku here could drink any one of you under the table and still and smash as many dots as you could throw at him. How about a battle of livers? My boy Puku wins, you help us with finding our friend, free of charge. Whaddya say?"
Lenny's eyebrows shoot up, he claps his hands and rubs them together delightedly.
"Now you're talking!"He leaps to his feet and dashes across the deck to the old watch-bell which is still mounted near the stern, grabbing the clapper he sounds the bell with gusto for several seconds. At this clamor, yelps of alarm and mild interest waft up from downstairs.
Sergeant Frewen stands up and looks around wildly, scowling.
"What's all this? What's all this?"
Meanwhile Orto leans way back in his chair and peers down his pug nose at Puku, holding his gaze. After a few seconds he purses his lips and allows a puff of air to bellow them out, then releases it: "pah"
There is a pounding of feet on the stairs from below-decks and the bartender bursts onto the deck with a wild look in her eyes. (You may or may not recall the she is ”a tall half-elf woman, her hair shaved into a mohawk”)
”Who’s ringing the bell? Ya best not be winding me up!” she yells at all assembled.
”No, ma’am!” cries Lenny, ”we’re having a bout!”
”It’s a bout!” she calls back down the stairs. Belowdecks, you hear two people cheer briefly.
The bartender stride brusquely forward and claps Lenny on the shoulder. ”Best news I’ve had in a week. Crews or champions?”
She says the word, “champ-eens”.
”We’re naming champions!” hollers Lenny. “Champion of the good ship Skippebble, Orthogus Gastar, First Mate, called the Dread Sponge of the Seas! Versus... that pot-bellied tusker with the broken tooth!”
It seems everyone from the bar-room files up onto the deck, including the richly dressed gnome, the fighting man, the goblin with the blonde wig, the sweet-faced barmaid with the bowl-cut hair, even the scholar you saw with Inquisitor Meesham and the other two junior paladins from the squad. They are joined by a couple of rough-clad fishermen who must’ve arrived more recently, these two grinning broadly and gulping eagerly at their drinks.
Pause for reactions...
The pot-bellied tusker with the broken tooth smiles and looks slightly confused by all this sudden excitement. He looks around at all the strange faces, beaming at him in anticipation of some action then he turns his attention down to the smug countenance of Ortho. Just as the mist slowly clears on a bright summer morn, Puku eventually concluded the situation he was in was that of a drinking contest!
While the Orcish 'jack has seen such wagers amongst the townies in his old lumber crew, he's never participated in such a thing. But the oppurtunity to get on the piss and have a few laughs with the boys provoked a singularly positive reaction...
"Aw Yip" Said Puku excitedly and he pulled up a seat across the table from Ortho
Kat leaps onto a chair next to Puku and addresses the throng of punters
"Champion of Crowley's Companions, Puku.....Savage! He could drink a Andorran platoon under the table and smoke enough cones to make a red dragon choke! He's just walked in from Woodenhead and has a mighty thirst!"
Kat raises her brimming tankard to the crowd
"May Cayden Cailean bless this place of worship and may the best manorc win!"
Kat pours out a dribble of ale in honour of her god before draining her vessel heartily
Charisma roll for Kat:
There is a hearty cheer of approval in response to Kat's speech!
Lenny scowls.
From somewhere down in the dark, over the side of the boat, a harsh voice calls up.
“Ho there, thou lubbers aloft! Were that the bell ringing for a bout?”
"Aye!", comes the strident reply from several throats.
"Be those white-caped shrivel-dicks nae aboard to spoil it?”
There are a few nervous titters and coughs.
"Shut upppp maaaan..." someone hisses over the railing.
As if on cue, Sergeant Frewen steps forward.
”In the Holy Herald's name, desist! These people are in my custody, they are under question!”
The bar-tender turns on him furiously. "Stow it, Frewen! You and your baby-face boys have damn near put me out of business already, BUT BY CAYDEN'S CODPIECE, you're not ruining this bout!"
She glares into his eyes from about two inches away. The two are of a height. Or it might be she's a smidgen taller.
"And if you're planning to tie them up and throw them in the basement," she growls, "it'll be easier when they're passed out, won't it."
A few nervous chuckles at this.
Frewen juts his jaw out.
Inquisitor Meesham pokes his head out the cabin door.
"Is there a problem?"
He blinks and looks momentarily surprised to see so many people.
Orna waves at you from just behind him.
"Inquisitor! These... people are launching into some kind of competitive debauch with our suspects!"
Meesham sighs patiently. "Well, it's a tavern, Sergeant." He points at Eloise. "Keep that one sober, I haven't talked to her yet. Otherwise...", he trails off with a shrug and a wry twist of the mouth.
Frewen's shoulders slump. "Very well. Look to your own souls, proceed." There is a tenative cheer from a few of the on-lookers.
Another half-dozen locals rush up the stairs, eagerness writ across their dirty faces.
The bartender holds her hands up for attention...
More to come, but first I need to concoct or discover some good homebrew rules for drinking...
"May Cayden Cailean bless this place of worship and may the best manorc win!"
Kat pours out a dribble of ale in honour of her god before draining her vessel heartily
Having just finished the Walrus and Warwolf I am keen for the church of Cayden Cailean to be a bit of fun like Drake's religion (perhaps without the whoring) and for excessive drinking to be a sign of religious devotion. The idea of any tavern being a church of CC is also appealing.
"Alright!" calls the bar-lady, "Here's how it runs!"
She swaggers over to your table and stands at the head of it, feet in a bold, wide stance. She holds forth the crowd in a well-practiced battlefield bellow.
"These two lovely specimens of manhood are gonna go round for round! First man names a drink! We pour one out, second man drains it! And if he keeps his head, first man drinks TWO of the same!"
She holds aloft two fingers and waves them at the boisterous crowd so that they may best absorb this information.
"Second round, it swaps, second man names the drink, first drinks ONE, then second drinks TWO! And so it goes, 'til the loser's flat on his arse! The bout's a game of tactics, see!"
"Hooray!" cries someone.
"Anybody cheats or drinks too slow, you call 'em out and we throw 'em over the side!" she roars, shaking a fist at the sky.
Laughter and fervid shouts of approval greet this announcement. Already there is good-humoured jostling and the passing around of flasks. One hirsute local starts tuning a fiddle.
"Retullah! Quit gawking and fetch liquor!" she barks at the barmaid (Tandy, evidently), who is jolted out of a cozy chat with some smooth-cheeked lothario and quickly hustles downstairs.
Reverting to more conversational tones, she stabs a finger at Kat and Lenny. "You. You. You're the seconds. You need to pony up the kitty. 20 geeps each for a cuppla big lads like this I think. That covers the drinks. When the loser goes down, we buy a round for the crowd and the winner takes what's left."
She opens a leather pouch and the two of you each count your share in, Lenny with apparent reluctance.
Unless you choose to quibble about this...
"That just keeps me paid, your own stakes are a separate matter. So what's the meaning of this bout, my lovelies?"
"In the vanishingly unlikely event of our failure, my champion and me undertake to help this one find that other wench's brother!" Lenny blurts out quickly. "Against that: FIFTY gold!" he adds with relish.
Pause for reactions...
Puku quietly aside to Kat "Have we even got 50 gold?"
"Against that: FIFTY gold!" he adds with relish.
Kat is draining her tankard as Lenny says this - her eyes widen and spits out a spray of ale
"50gp! You rate the value of your assistance very high indeed hobbit! 20gps and not a penny more! "
Lenny shows you his palms.
"Listen, lady! Win or - pshaw - lose, like as not on the morrow Orthogus will feel like's he's taken an axe to the brain, and Yours Truly will be dealing with the consequences. That man-orc's a mean son of a b!tch when his head's on Cayden's Anvil, and TECHNICALLY; I can be flogged on his say-so. Ya know I gots ta factor that into the stake!"
The bar-tender observes this exchange with a bland expression.
The exchange continues back and forth a few more turns, it seems to Kat that each of Lenny's justifications becomes ever more thin and outlandish.
However...
"Shut up you two! I'm bored of this," the bar-tender snaps. "The bet stands at 50. Seems fair to me."
Lenny smirks at Kat and winks.
The lady steps back and holds forth to the crowd once more. Reaching into to a pouch slung around her neck she produces a bright silver disc and holds it high for all to view. It looks something like a over-sized coin or maybe an ornamental belt buckle, and you glimpse some jagged-looking engraving on it.
"Alright, this here's the Quotidian Gyre, what Captain Anders hisself plucked from the cap of Reesha, Queen of the Sea-Orcs! Upon the Gyre I do declare this bout begun!"
"We KNOW what it is, Shelkie!" scoffs some wag.
She ignores this and stabs a finger at Puku.
"Call it, stranger! Sun or Moon!"
She flicks the high disc into the air, flashing in the lamplight as it spins end-over-end...
*disc high into the air, not "high disc into the air"
what a dummy
She ignores this and stabs a finger at Puku.
"Call it, stranger! Sun or Moon!"
She flicks the disc high into the air, flashing in the lamplight as it spins end-over-end...
Without a beat of hesitation, Puku replies "Moon!"
With a swoop like a cat's paw, Shelkie snatches the Quotidian Gyre from the air as it descends. She pauses momentarily, grinning, then reveals...
"Moon! You called it!"
There is a cheer, and the fiddler launches into a lively jig.
"That's roight good luck, stranger!" calls some rustic, encouragingly.
"Where's that girl...?" mutters Shelkie, but no sooner said, than Retullah the bar maid totters into view, struggling with the weight of a crate packed with various bottles, amphorae, miniature kegs, etc, their forms ranging from utilitarian to bizarre.
Shelkie twists a wooden handle set in the exterior cabin wall and a previously unnoticed wooden bar slams down to the horizontal. It is hinged at one end to the wall, and secured at the other by rope tied off in rigging above. She and Retullah busily start laying out liquor from the crate onto the bar.
"You heard the rules, gorgeous!" calls Shelkie. "Name a drink for your mate there!"
Orto looks Puku in the eyes and one eyebrow twitches.
Puku has a disadvantage here in that he doesn't know his liquor.
"..."
Puku looked around at the anthropological curiosities that pressed in around the drinking table...he frowned momentarily before a small candle appeared floating above his broad, pumpkin-shaped head
"Ho, I got a bit of a thirst munching all that kai eh! I could do with a pint to get the log rolling. So therefore my pretty friend here can have a half pint, to go with the big mouthed one he's got blowing his pipe!"
Puku winks theatrically at Lenny.
"..."
Puku looked around at the anthropological curiosities that pressed in around the drinking table...he frowned momentarily before a small candle appeared floating above his broad, pumpkin-shaped head
"Ho, I got a bit of a thirst munching all that kai eh! I could do with a pint to get the log rolling. So therefore my pretty friend here can have a half pint, to go with the big mouthed one he's got blowing his pipe!"
Puku winks theatrically at Lenny.
This provokes much laughter in the crowd. "Ohhhhhhhh!" cry several young knaves in unison and they jostle each other excitedly and perform some kind of secret society handshake.
Puku got +1 to Crowd Favour!
Orto smiles just slightly with one corner of his mouth.
"A half-pint of ale!" cries the bartender, Shelkie. "Worth it for the pun, but I hope you boys ain't gonna keep drinking from eggcups or we'll be here all night."
Retullah brings over the half-pint and sets it down before Orto. You can see she's holding a full pint ready for Puku as well, clearly the chance of Orto keeling over at this round is ludicrously remote.
Rolling Fortitude Save for Orto...
He lifts the drink to his lips and smoothly downs it in three swallows. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and lays the goblet down on the table, bottom up.
Retullah hands the full-pint to Puku.
Rolling Fortitude Save...
Puku gulps down the beverage with no difficulty. Refreshing!
There is polite applause from one or two on-lookers.
"Round two! Orto, name a drink!"
Lenny rushes over with a furious scowl on his face.
"Mate, this dope's been guzzling oysters all evening! Let's make him puke!"
Orto grins.
"Fermented harpy's milk."
Name a drink! Orto named a bizarre drink, rolling to see if the bar stocks it...
Shelkie bursts out laughing. "Ha, ha! We're not fukken perverts here Orto, try again."
Orto doesn't miss a beat.
"Witherweed liquer."
Orto named a rare drink, rolling...
"That'll do!"
Shelkie has to cast about for a few seconds.
"Aha!"
She produces a wooden flask that has thorns sprouting on it. It's covered in dust and plainly has not been opened in a long time. She pours a measure of greenish-black syrup into a finger-glass and Retullah sets it before Puku.
It smells like compost and sugar.
Pause for reactions...
Puku, if you're just gonna drink it, you can also make your Fortitude roll publicly.
You can also name the next drink if you want to speed things along so I can carry into the next round on the next post.
Assuming there is a "next round"...
She produces a wooden flask that has thorns sprouting on it. It's covered in dust and plainly has not been opened in a long time. She pours a measure of greenish-black syrup into a finger-glass and Retullah sets it before Puku. It smells like compost and sugar.
The broad green tusker takes delicate care to pick up the tiny shot glass, he holds it up to his lips and shoots it back without hesitation.
"UUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLKKKKKGGGGGHHHHHH!" Puku's face knots up like a shocked Otyguh's anus as he struggles with the vile new tier of flavour hell that he has found himself in.
"Not...not...not b-badd!" He belches "T-two for the beautiful green fulla across the t-table. If you please."
Puku is now Slightly Buzzed!
He got -1 to INT and -1 to WIS...
As the over-sweet and noxious tasting liqueur slides down and mingles with the slimy clams in your gullet, you feel your guts suddenly recoil like a cobra tapped on the head..
Rolling second Fortitude save for Puku...
Lenny is glaring at you expectantly. You burp a little fishy-tasting stomach acid into your mouth and he leans forward excitedly. But you swallow and pat your chest a couple of times. His shoulders slump. "Bah!"
Two finger-glasses are set down before Orto. Involuntarily you lean away from the smell of the stuff.
He knocks one down, and raises the second... pauses, blinks a couple of times and winces... then knocks down the second.
"Delicious..." he drawls unconvincingly and then coughs.
There is an air of schadenfreude among the crowd.
"Having fun yet, my lads?" yells Shelkie. "Round three! Name a drink, wanderer!"
"Having fun yet, my lads?" yells Shelkie. "Round three! Name a drink, wanderer!"
Kat leaps up from her seat to address the crowd
Hah! Your civilized drinks are no match for the stomach of my savage companion! Cayden strike me down if he was not suckled by a womanticore and weaned on black lotus root! Let's try a little number the savages sup before breakfast - the Ngaruwahia Skull Splitter! Barkeep if you please, 2 parts vodka, 1 part absinthe, half a cup of vinegar and a dash of lantern oil!"
Kat turns to address Ortho and Lenny
"Of course in savage society it is traditional to take a big fat hoon of the sacred weed after throwing back the skull splitter, I'm sure you'll have no objections?"
"Phwoar! I could totes go for a mean hoon on the puha eh!" chuckled Puku as he held Orto's glacial gaze. "But I dont have any weed sis..."
The green gutted grotesque turned his smiling tattooed visage to the crowd and addressed them all lustily.
"Hey does anybody got any dak?"
"But I dont have any weed sis..."
Kat leaps up from her seat to address the crowd
Hah! Your civilized drinks are no match for the stomach of my savage companion! Cayden strike me down if he was not suckled by a womanticore and weaned on black lotus root! Let's try a little number the savages sup before breakfast - the Ngaruwahia Skull Splitter! Barkeep if you please, 2 parts vodka, 1 part absinthe, half a cup of vinegar and a dash of lantern oil!"
"Aha! 'Round here we call it Riot Juice!" exclaims Shelkie excitedly. Her eyes rest on Puku briefly and he nods.
She sets to mixing.
"There's no regulation serve for Riot Juice so let's call it another half-pint in honour of the Findsfault shall we!"
This gets a similar laugh to Puku's first "half-pint" joke, it seems the audience is undemanding. Lenny grinds his teeth.
She decants a half-pint of the dubious beverage and Retullah sets it before Orto.
He cracks his knuckles and flexes his neck from side to side, then scoops the half-pint up with both hands and steadfastly drains it at a measured pace.
He belches and hands the jar back to Retullah without looking at her.
Making a Perform roll for Lenny...
Lenny leaps up onto a chair and affects a thespian's stance.
"The Sponge of the Sea, he makes it look eaz-ee / Orto how you gonna spend, that fifty gee-pee???" he rhymes, in rough time with the rustically sawing fiddle.
Orto haltingly rumbles out a response.
"Well I might buy a sword (sword), or I might buy a axe (axe) / but I think I'm gonna buy, this tusker's hairy sacs! (sacs)"
Lenny echoes the words "sword", "axe", and "sacs" a quarter-beat after Orto. The crowd erupts in laughter and applause at this and Retullah ruffles Lenny's hair as she swans past.
Team Orto got +1 to Crowd Favour!
"Wooooooo!" cries somebody in the crowd.
A stooped old-timer totters over to Orto.
"I packed this here pipe for ye!"
Orto briefly sniffs the bell of the pipe and then blazes it up with a grin as Retullah sets two half-pint jars of the Skull Splitter before Puku.
Meanwhile, Shelkie sidles up to Kat.
"Thought you might like one y'self, love!"
She thrusts a half-pint of the gnarly stuff into Kat's hands.
"Hey-oop, crew! One for the savage's second!" she calls to all assembled, and a raucous cheer replies.
Assuming you just straight up drink it:
Two Fortitude saves for Puku - one DC 13 and then DC 15.
And a Fortitude save for Kat - DC 12
"Thought you might like one y'self, love!"
She thrusts a half-pint of the gnarly stuff into Kat's hands.
Kat smiles to the crowd and holds the cup out in front of her.
"Hah! Child's play! I can do it with no hands!"
She mutters a quick syllable and the goblet shudders and raises slowly out of her hand!
She leans back in her chair nonchalantly, opens her mouth and the levitating tankard pours the vile liquid down her gullet...
... with no problem whatsoever!
The cup descends to the table. A napkin is whisked up from the table, as if by it's own volition, and daintily dabs the corners of Kat's grinning mouth.
"Ah, a fine brew! Well Master Findfault, if a frail wee girl like me can throw one of these back then surely a big burly sailor like you can match me? Mistress Shelkie! Half a drink for the half a man!"